rick505's advice column

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Q: Ok, so I have a cold right now. I'm really stuffed up, and I have a short attention span as per usual (regularity when I have a cold). When I try to watch TV to pass time drinking loads of fluids/blowing my nose at the same time, I end up completely focusing off the TV and doing very tedious things such as biting/scraping my nails and messing them up and picking lint off my clothes.

I think it might be because I get less oxygen to my brain because I'm stuffed up, and it makes me dopey- and it's certainly not any medication because it happens with and without it.

Does anyone have any ideas to help me stop giving myself an overmanicure and keep me occupied?

when your body is fighting off a virus, it is truly working hard, much like exercising, so the lack of attention span is mostly a result of being exhausted.

What you need is rest and something simple to do with your hands. Try coloring, or playing real simple short games on the computer like solitaire hearts and don't care whether you win or lose just fiddle around.

The best would be to crawl into bed and just sleep it off but that is sometimes hard to do.

Q: I recently received the MOTORAZR V3xx (it's from cingular and it's the razor that has mp3 on it.) It charges fine as long as it has somewhat of a charge. The problem is that when my phone dies and there is no charge on it it won't charge. When it dies and I first plug it in it will say charging at first and then say unable to charge. After that the red light on the phone that goes on when the phone is charging remains on, but the phone doesnt do anything. Sometimes it will blink to like a white screen, but other than that it doesnt do anything. Since I've had my phone this happened again the last time that it died, and my mom brought it to the cingular store and they replaced the battery. I can't just bring it to the store though and buy a new battery eveytime it dies like this, is there anything that I could do? Any help would be GREATLY appreciated =]

all cell phones (including yours) have a one year manufacturers warranty. Since they replaced the battery and this is still happening, take it back to Cingular and let them reload the software on the phone itself.

If it still happens make them replace the phone. The is a warranty department that will do this. You (or your mom) will call them, they will send you the replacement in the mail, then you will send your phone back to them in the mail.

Q: OKay so there is this guy that REALLY like and i am pretty sure that he feels the same.....The only problem is that for soome reason we are shy around eachother(we both arent usually shy people) and everyone is teling me to go for it.. even my teachers!!! and i want to but idk whats stopping me...... can anyone help me?? I know its a hard question to answer but i would really appreciate it...

Thanx

write him a note/email. invite him to go do something with you (movies,pizza, school sporting event, whatever).If you're too freaked out to do this alone, make it a group event with some of your and his friends along. If he says yes then take it slow and see if something developes.

Q: theres this girl kim who was my friend, and i made fun (joking) of her for talking on the phone alot and now she hasn't talked to me in 7 days even though i try and say hi. then also my other friends wont be mean her but they would chastise me if was giving them all the silent treatment. should I expect that my friends should also not talk to her because she wont talk to me? also what should i do to be friends with her again? thanks

call her on her phone and apologize for making fun of her. Admit that sometimes you stick your foot in your mouth which is much less attractive that having a phone in your mouth.

Your friends are right to stay out of it. It's your mess, clean it up.

Q: I have ADHD and I was put on Adderall around Janruary. I've noticed a HUGE differance, like I use to be failing EVERY subject but now I have all 90's+!
That bad thing is that I've lost more than ten pounds while being on it. Everyone has noticed a huge differance in my weight and people hint to me that I need to it. It's not my fault that I have no appetite when I'm on it.
And people say if I lose anymore weight I'll be too skinny.
I am 5'5" and a little under 110lbs.
Also, my mom always asks if I ate breakfast and whatever.. I don't like being treated like I'm aneorexic!

Talk to your doctor. Weight loss as a side effect can become a serious health issue if left unchecked. If your not eating I would make sure you are at least getting all your vitamins because good grades now won't be of much use if it costs you long term health issues. They may be able to step down the dose that you're taking and keep the benefit while letting you maintain your weight.

Q: Can anyone tell me what this statistic means??

More young black men are murdered each year than were willed in all the decades of lynching.

Thanks so much!

to add to the previous answer(all correct) during the latter years lynching went from a public spectacle to something done out of sight so there were many black men "lynched" but it was never reported or recorded. So this further blurs any true analysis of any figures that could be produced so using this statistic to prove a point would be weak at best.

Q: This boy and I, lets call the guy John, are really close friends. We hang out at school together and at sport events after school. He is super nice and polite. My parents really like him too. So far, we are just friends. But I can't really tell if he likes me and I cant tell if I like him.I have never really liked someone Deep like a like John. I mean, I have had bfs before but John makes me feel different. He sort of feels like a brother but I cant tell. Anyways, He is like friends with EVERY one in the school. No matter if they are popular or not. So I can't tell if hes just being friendly or if he likes me. But he will do things like hug me and put his hand on mine and stuff, but never like say anything that means he likes me. Do you think he likes me?!?1 Also, Im scared that if we did date together that our friendship relationship would be ruined. Should I wait a few years until we can have a serious relationship (we are 14 right now) or should we date now and hopefully keep our relationship later? HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's fantastic that you realize that 14 is a little young to have a serious relationship. Stay friends with him and see if something grows. Even if you're ready for something more, he's probably not so just being friends and having fun together should be enough for now. good luck!!

Q: Hi, i'm 14 years old, female.

this one's reaaallly long. just to let you know in advance.

i used to go to a small middle school. everyone there has known eachother forever and everyone was very cliquey and i had a good amount of friends, but a group of "popular" girls completely despised me. i never knew why. my friends said it was because they were jealous of me but i really have no idea. i don't see whats to be jealous of. but anyways, they hated me and made my life hell. i managed to be friends with all the "popular" guys though, without being a slut. and dated a few of them. (maybe thats why the girls didn't like me?)but there were always rumors about me that those girls had started. so a couple guys i dated thought i was a slut. and that's why they were with me. i really liked them a lot and got hurt pretty badly a few times. it was odd too, because usually i'm really good at reading people and sensing out what's on their mind. i think sometimes though, i let what i want to sense get in the way of what i really sense. i used to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, not because i was really that gullible but because i wanted to believe them. ever since those failed relationships, i've had a lot of trust issues.

this year however, i'm at a new school (we moved across the country for my dad's job) and i LOVE my school. it's HUGE (like 600 kids per grade) and i'm friends with almost everyone in my grade. i get invited to every party, i always have tons of weekend plans, i don't have any enemies, and a lot of guys like like me. a few girls i'm friends with described me as "that girl you hate out of jealousy until she wins you over. then you're still jealous of her, but love her too much to care"
it's the weirdest thing ever.

people are always saying i'm 'gorgeous' or 'perfect'. i'm not either. at all.

i hate the way i look most days. i'd say i'm average at best. i don't see whats so great about my personality either. i guess i'm a good listener? idk i just try to be nice to people and pretend i don't care what anyone thinks about me.

i care what they think. so much. too much. it's not healthy. and even though i don't have any enemies here, those girls from my old school practically stalk my myspace and like call my cell phone and IM me all the time just to be mean. i've only told my bbf how much what they say hurts me.(bbf = boy best friend)when the girls are talking to me i just outwit them and pretend i find their pathetic attempts to bring me down amusing-- like i know i should.

so yeah there's that issue with those girls and then there's the fact that i don't trust anyone. the lack of trust thing i think has lead to me feeling lonely.. because i never let anyone in all the way. i hate that i always silently question anything anyone tells me.

no matter how many friends i have, no matter where i am, i always feel alone. always. and i know i shouldn't, because these people are REALLY there for me.. only i won't let them be.

i'm so afraid to get hurt again.

ok so now that you have the background information [I TOLD YOU THIS WAS LONG ;]here's my current situation:

i'm determined to prove to myself that i can be in a good relationship that actually means something. therefor, i want a boyfriend- SOO badly. i've dated only one guy at my new school and he cheated on me. it was in the beginning of the year before i had so many friends. and yet, i still reaally want a boyfriend. my biggest problem with that though is that i don't know how my lack of trust will affect the relationship. i really want to be able to trust someone. anyone. people tell me things like "you could have any guy you want" but that's not true. i've liked plenty of guys i couldn't have.

i just want a nice boy who really cares about me. that's all. !@#$%ing middle school relationships.

but anyways, theres this guy i have a crush on now and i think he's genuinely a nice guy. he could totally be a player if he wanted to be but he's not, at all. my bbf is pretty protective of me, and he said he'd approve if i wanted to date my crush. so that's a good sign. and it seems like the guy feels the same way about me.

just one problem with that, he has a girlfriend. but she's breaking up with him soon. and i think he knows it. and doesn't care.

ok so if anyone has any opinions or advice on any of the essay-length "question" i just typed in here, i would greatly appreciate it.

thanks y'all (:

definitely get a new my space account. You're across the country so those bitches at your old school will never find you again. It's time to move on.

If you don't feel you can trust, you're not ready for a relationship, if you are having fun and doing things with your new friends why do you think you need a boyfriend anyway? Just have fun and let things happen and if your crush does break up with his current girl, then flirt with him and see what happens and TAKE IT SLOWLY. Trust is something that should be earned anyway and it takes time for that to develope.

Q: ok, so this one guy in my class who doesn't know me....randomly said "Fuck you" to me, and i was pretty offended at first, but all the people said he's just like that...

so, i don't know if i'm too uptight and stubborn to just accept it or is he actually insane?

p.s. he does it often as his "hobby"

just reply "I don't do small jobs" and move on, don't engage him further, he sounds like a jerk, don't stress over it.

Q: About what does one person make on Minimum Wage per year? (in the United States)

minimum wage varies in a few states but as a general rule you will make around $11,000 dollars(US) a year at a minimum wage job before taxes.

Q:

in my lang. arts class we have to choose a poem that we;re going to recite on the last few days of school. and i cant seem to choose a good one. can someone help me? with links?

fyi. it has to be 20 lines. and HAS to be published. cant be off someones xanga or other personal site.

thanks.

I like this one

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-pig/

but its number thirty four of five hundred favorite poems on this site. surely one of them should catch your fancy.

Q: Okay so i play field hockey for myschool. im good at it and i like to play agressive...yaddyyadayada. But in Virginia right now its raining a lot so we stay inside. And when we stay inside it gets really hot like burning. so i get pretty sweaty. And im getting to the point where my armpits are soaking. i lifted up my armpits at the end of practice and everybody was like " wow are you running a lake under there" of course i laugh at that stuff but i wanna know how do you get rid of sweaty pits. thanks a lot!

the only way to not sweat so much would be to not work so hard, so either you have to get in better shape and play at the same level or play less aggressively. Next time someone says something tell them that they would sweat too if the would move their lazy ass around a little more.

someone may suggest anitpersperants. but those are mostly to fight sweat in hot situations where your not exercising. Sweat is good and good for you.

Q: okay, when you ask a question, why can't you talk in the abbreviated words like i dont know and stuff? Is there any way to get rid of this?

idk mayb sum1 thinks this makes ?'s and answers look lame. and I agree.

Q: I had 3 papers due in my class last week, on monday but I haven't been in class, becuase I couldn't face the teachers until the work was done. So I have a full week late paper, and I missed class on the third time becuase of a car accident.These papers are a pass/fail deal with ym teacher. What could I tell my teacher in order to keep my own dignity and their respect.

Honesty is the key here. Set up a private meeting, explain that you have had problems getting your act together and you are having problems. Ask them if there is something that can be done for make up but if not you understand. explain that you were a little embarrassed to show up with no work and when you were going to show up you got in an accident.

Dignity is facing up to reality and dealing with consequences. Apologize for wasting their time and tell them you will do better from now on and mean it.

Q: Do some guys get emotionally attached after having sex for the first time? Or any time? Like, do they feel any different towards the person?

I don't mean like clingy (but if they do, then okay) but I mean, would they love you more or something? Like would they feel any different?

I heard that for guys, sex is just sex, but for girls it's like a connection.. But it sounds like just a stereotype. So, if you're a guy, did you feel different in any way? Like, in your heart or towards the person? Or was it just like, anything?

if the guy likes the sex, he will want more sex, it probably wont change how he feels emotionally,If sex is used to try to keep a boy, when the newness of sex wears off(and it always does) then he will revert to his previous emotional state, which if it was indiifferent or not serious tends to hurt the girl who usually gets emotionally attached with repeated sexual encounters.

the boy will totally fake emotional attachment for more sex.

Q: What are the bases? I forget

maybe it's changed but for me it was always

first base=kissing
second = groping touching maybe a hand under a shirt
third = genital fondling under the clothing or anything but but sex
home= sex, either penitration or oral

Q:

I'm 5'3, 160 lbs.
I know i need to lose weight, and WANT to for that matter :) i have the diet part down, but i'm at a plateau.i can't seem to lose any more weight. i want to add outdoor activity such as jogging to my lifestyle, but i always feel l ike when i run down the street everyones watching me. i don't know how to get past this! im after to go after school when i get home because if a school bus is by me that means kids on the bus might see me! .. idk its really not a big deal, but its kinda an anxiety for me, and its what is holding me back to go jogging.. does anyone have any ideas? i would go jogging w/ my friends. but they dont live near me. and i have a brother but hes way more in shape than i am and i wouldnt be able to keep up with him.

Going with your brother is a good idea, if he's in better shape ask him to go slow to begin with and slowly pick up the pace after you do this for a week or two. Then jog once or twice a week without him, at some point you should be just as good as him or even better if you really work on it. Consider this to be a goal and challenge yourself with it.

Q: what is dry sex? is it just sex with clothes on, and is it exactly the same as regular sex?

dry sex can mean different things, it could mean the woman is not aroused therefore there is no lubrication or it could mean the clothes are left on but then it is usually called "dry humping" where two people are rubbing against each other but no penetration is happening

Q: hey anybody know where i can get some games for my sony ericsson k800i that can be played with friends over bluetooth?
thanks

i found this link for "warfare"

http://www.handmark.com/warfare/forum/viewtopic.php?t=857

if you have T-mobile you can use these http://www.t-zones.co.uk/en/t_games/02_bluetooth_multiplayer_games.html

there is also these

http://www.zgroup-mobile.com/games_bluetooth.html

how did I find these? i googled blue tooth multiplayer games then blue tooth games.

there are more links, just google

Q: my family just got a cat in december.
the cat was being so good,
but something changed i guess?
the cat sleeps on my bed at night,
and i think it was 3 nights i accidently closed my door so the cat couldnt get out.
the cat peed on my laundry and pooped on my carpet.
gross.. i know.
but now, last night i left the door open..
but she still pooped and peed on it.
my dad says if he catches her doing it again,
he'll get rid of her.
all i could think of doing is locking the cat out of my room at night.
but then.. what if she pees in my dads room?
then he'll really get rid of her.
how do i make this cat stop peeing and pooping everywhere?

Once a cat has peed somewhere you need to really clean the area with a shampoo machine so that the smell is totally gone or the cat will smell it and think that your room is a safe place to do it's business

where is the cats litter box? If you locked the cat in your room and the litter box is somewhere else what did you expect would happen? if you got locked out of the bathroom for long enough you would do the same.

if the cat has claimed your room as it's territory you should put the litter box in the bottom of your closet and then locking the cat in your room won't be an issue. Also cats instinctively know to use a litter box so putting it in your room will give it the message that in the box is where it should do it's business.

bio

i am a work in progress but i pay close attention to everything. I feel it is a good thing to share the knowledge i have acquired in my travels to anyone asking and it brings me pleasure to do so. i have lived in California, Alaska, Idaho, and New Mexico and been married and divorced. I have no children of my own but have fostered several .