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I'm Max.Want an honest answer to the burning questions that keep you up all night?
You've come to the right advice column.
advice
14/female
I feel as if I might die soon. I have felt like this before about a year ago. The think is when I do feel like this I don't get scared. I'm not afraid of dying. If I where to die right now I would be okay with it. I know this isn't good because I told my very trusted god father about this before and he said I shouldn't not mind dying. He cares for me and I don't want to worry him like that again. I, honestly, don't want to grow old. I don't want to be a useless old women.
So what do you think.. I have been having problems with my friends lately and my grandma is on her death bed.
Being around people who are close to death can make you feel like you're close to it, too.
You're not close to death, though. You're only fourteen years old. You've got at the very least sixty years left in you. If you take care of yourself properly, you've got even more than that.
You shouldn't be afraid of dying. It's actually very mature of you to realize that death is inevitable, and worrying about it won't make it go away.
The fear of growing old is understandable.
If you exercise and nourish your body well, you won't get useless. I know plenty of old men who can bench press twice as much as I can.
Growing old doesn't necessarily mean losing your value as a human being. Personally, I think the wisdom that comes with age is extremely valuable.
If you treat yourself well, you have nothing to worry about. Exercise while you're young, so your bones will be strong when you do get older.
I'm sure you're told this all the time, but get plenty of sleep, don't skip meals, and get at least a half hour of exercise everyday.
Hello,
I'm a pre-teen/teenager and I am super interested in Behavioral Psycology how can I learn more about it at my age. I have already googled it and used wikipedia. What other ways can I learn about it?
You can go to your local bookstore and buy books on the subject.
Barnes&Noble has lots of books on psychology, for example.
You can check out some books from your school or local library if you can't afford to buy a ton of books from a bookstore.
Ask if your school offers a sociology/psychology course.
Most middle schools won't, but many high schools offer psychology classes that you can take.
I have been fingered roughly many times before. 2-5 fingers to be exact. I wuz wondering if the vagina stretches the more times you get fingered roughly. Also, if you get fingered a lot, does that ease the pain when you have sex for the first time? like, people say it hurts a lot for the first time and yu bleed. I wuz wondering if there wuz anyway to prepare for sex to not make it hurt as bad to make it pleasurable when the penis goes in and comes out.
The only part that makes sex painful is when the hymen is broken.
The hymen's that thin little membrane over the opening of the vagina.
It can be stretched out during sex, and torn when anything enters the vagina, like fingers or a tampon.
Some girls tear their hymen when riding a bike or putting in a tampon.
If you want to see your hymen and how it looks, you can do so with a hand mirror.
If you've been fingered before, that's no different than having a penis instead of a couple of fingers. Being nervous causes girls pain during sex, too. Since the vagina is a strong muscle and can contract, if you're tense or nervous and try to have sex, it's going to hurt.
Relax and have sex with someone you trust, not some random guy off the street.
Ok so im a 14 year old female that is bisexual
This kinda all started late last year,
I don't really understand what's wrong with me, if I'm going insane or wat, but last year I had this little obsession of texting a girl then telling them I liked them and stuff and they would get freaked out so then I would move onto the next. I think it might of been a bit of a high I was getting off it..
Now recently i have had a break up with my girlfriend who meant the world to me and I can't stop loving her,. Every morning I wake up with a really heavy feeling inside me and all I think about is her.. When I'm really down I sonetimes cut my wrist, not very deep but enough for them to bleed.
My moods are also changing alot lately quite quickly like one minute ill be happy then the next I'll be depressed, but lately I've been getting really depressed, it is usually at it's worst before I go to sleep and after I wake up
Now recently I have these random Kinda visions in my brain, they last like 1 second then I forget wat they were.
Plzzzz help me!?!? Wats happening to me!!
Some people compare breaking up with someone to losing a loved one.
The feeling is about the same, isn't it?
That heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach, that cold ache.
Trust me, I know it well.
Cutting your wrists, however, is no way to make yourself feel better.
You've probably already heard that when you cut yourself, endorphins are released to help you deal with the physical pain.
Endorphins feel nice, I know.
But you could get an infection or accidentally cut yourself too deep and really do yourself some serious physical harm.
If you like seeing the blood on your wrists, instead of cutting them, draw a line on them with red marker or pen.
My therapist told me to do this a long time ago when I used to cut my arms up, and I suddenly lost the desire to make a real cut. Try it.
One thing that helps me take my mind off things is exercise. It's been proven that a couple of minutes spent outdoors in the sunshine can lift your mood and make you feel better.
Take a walk outside (not by yourself, of course).
Start talking to some other girls to take your mind off your ex.
Focus on something you like to do, like playing an instrument, a sport, reading, playing video games, whatever.
You can stop thinking about this girl if you really try.
Hi,
I think recently I have turned into a hypochondriac. 3 months ago I had an operation and a few days later I suffered really badly from it, and was vomiting blood for many hours which led to me having a second operation. Ever since then I worried it would happen again, even though my doctor reassured me it wouldn't.
I would say I am now quite over that incident, yet I worry about minor things. Like if I get a headache, I think it's something more serious. I've started taking vitamins, drinking health juices etc just because I'm scared of catching any illness. I'm due to have an injection soon to for flu etc and I can't stop researching about the side effects. It's driving me crazy, what can I do?
It's natural that you want to know what's going on with your health.
The bad experience you've had is enough to make anyone nervous.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being informed about medical topics that affect you, but it's another thing to have unnecessary anxiety about ailments that are of no threat to do.
The worst thing you can do at this point is to keep looking on sites like WebMD.
While helpful in some cases when trying to describe to your doctor your symptoms, sites like that can only make you more anxious.
For example, if you have a twitchy eye and you type "eye twitch" into WebMD, you'll get all kinds of things saying that you could be having a stroke or there's something wrong with your nervous system.
Sometimes a twitch is just a twitch. You can take an interest in your health, and taking vitamins is fine. Obsessive thinking, however, is not.
This is something you can talk to a trusted friend or a spouse, etc. about. If your anxiety and obsessive thoughts are ruining the quality of your life, it's time to talk to a therapist.
I dropped my ipod touch in water will it be better if I dont put in the charger for a while?
I dropped my ipod in water in school and soon as I dropped it I put it under the dryer. It was still on, put it kept freezing,turning on and off, and the apps kept coming on and off but the ipod was on. when I tap something, something else will come up. Its been 3 hours since I dropped it in water. I don't wanna tell my mom because this is the 3rd ipod that's been dropped in water. Its dead now because the battery was low when I dropped it and it was still working. and I don't know if it works now.Now its dead. It still works as far as I know, its not like the last 2 Ipod I had when I dropped them in water they wouldn't come back on. should I wait to charge it? Will it work better if I dry it or let it sit a few days?
Ive tried a bowl of rice and it didnt work. The first ipod that was dropped in water my nephew did it. the second time I dropped it on accident.
Do not connect your device to a charger!
Don't even try to turn it on! Doing so while there is still water inside it can short it out.
You have to keep it in a bowl of rice for much longer than three hours for all the water to be removed from the device. Leave it in there for a few days until you see no more condensation behind the camera lens and you can be sure there's no water left inside.
Please don't try to turn it on or plug it into anything. I recently dropped my iPhone 3G into a sinkful of hot, soapy water and I didn't turn it on or plug it into anything, even though it suddenly said there was no battery life left. I kept it in a bowl of rice for a week, just to be safe, and today it works just as well as the day it was delivered to my doorstep.
Good luck with your iTouch.
so I've noticed lately that my face is getting really dry. I've started putting moisturizer and then i do my make up routine, which includes powder, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss sometimes. Well i was wondering is it that im putting too much make up on? And also is there any way to moisturize my skin with out moisturizer? i know that sounds stupid but bare with me. thanks.
Washing your face too often does more harm than good. If the cleanser you're using now is drying out your skin, use it only every other day. Makeup can dry out your skin too. Try using less, or using makeup with more natural ingredients.
The harsh chemicals in most makeup can also irritate your skin.
a few months ago i became close with this guy chris, he was friends with a bunch of other people that i was friends with at the time. we got along really well and soon i felt like i could trust him enough to confide in him about my personal life. he really acted like we were best friends.
i have a serious boyfriend (who is also friends with chris and a lot of mine and chris's mutual friends) so i was kind of surprised when chris told me that he had a crush on me. he told me this after we had been friends for about 5 months, and to me it was completely random because to me i always thought that he thought of me as a friend the same way i thought of him0 .although i guess it would explain his motives in being my friend. after he told me this i felt kind of weird around him; i pretty much rejected him because i told him that i dont ever want to be more than friends and that im happy with my boyfriend.
well now chris is going around telling my boyfriend and our mutual friends (or at least people that i thought were my friends) lies about me - saying things like i "used chris for someone to whine to about my problems" and i "only wanted to be friends with him to make my boyfriend jealous" because i was mad that my boyfriend was talking to another girl...well none of these theories that chris is spreading around about me are true. i thought i was confiding in someone i could trust when i talked to him about things that were bothering me; i never meant to "use" him. i also never even considered "using" my friendship with chris to make my boyfriend jealous, because i honestly never even thought of doing that and never wanted to make my bf jealous.
i kind of understand why he would do these things - he must feel rejected that i kind of ditched our friendship after he confessed that he liked me - and my sister says that he told her that he still likes me.
i tried going up to him and asking him to stop talking about me to other people, but he completely denied it in a very passive way - he just sort of mumbled something about how he doesnt talk about me and then walked away, completely avoiding my confrontation.
my bf says i should ignore him, but it's kind of obnoxious that i have to go around picking up the pieces - he's gone around telling my friends that i'm a bad person for how i "used" him...but in truth i was just uncomfortable with the fact that he had liked me the whole time..
how do i handle a situation like this?
If you make a big deal about what this guy is saying about you, other people will, too.
If someone asks, let them know this guy's upset that you don't like him and that he's being a jerk.
Don't bring it up if no one asks. It'll make it look like you have something to hide, and are trying to assure people Chris is lying. That makes people trust you less.
Your boyfriend is absolutely right. This guy should just be ignored.
for nearly 2years i had been gettin depressed cause of people treating my like shit then i eventually got over it and just managed not to care anymore about anyone apart from my two horses as i just hate people who stab you in the back i am 16 so if i die my horses would have people to look after them no matter what so i can not find any real reason to keep going on like this the depression just keeps coming back i have people i talk to who call me a "friend" but i just find that only ones i care about are my 2 horses i have tryed a couple of times to wrap a cord round my neck but just couldn't bring myself to do it i just feel hate all around me cause people who call me their "freind" will also treat me like shit at the first chance they get and i just want to find a quick and easy way to kill myself can someone plz help me and tell me how?
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I know what it's like to feel alone. I'm not going to lie to you.
It sucks.
One day I woke up and decided I wasn't taking it anymore. I adopted a positive outlook on life, and the people around me could sense that. I started taking care of myself and feeling more and more confident, and other people were suddenly drawn to me.
Trust me, you have no idea how powerful the human mind and a positive outlook can go. Try this first, before you try to kill yourself. Give it a while.
If you ever want to vent or just chat, you can email me or ask me any other questions.
i use to work out like BEAST! like 5 times a week for 2-3 hours. it was a regimen and a hobby, actually. in these past 2 months, something happens to me while i'm working out. my mind starts racing and i have terrible thoughts. i think that while i'm at the gym, something horrible is going to happen at home. i've tried to deal with this in many ways, but i can't seem to find a way to surpass it. While i'm working out, i see everything in a negative light, which is strange because usually working out made me feel good. i'm currently transferring to another university and i see leaving home as a terrible thing and it being something a way to tell my family i hate them, when i don't. things like that. i start thinking of someone opening up my computer and finding stuff in there. i don't know. it's just horrible. it's like mental torture. it only happens to me when i'm working out. i stopped going as often and only go when i feel mentally stable. i'm going to start walking with free weights in the outdoors and c if that helps me. i've gained like 30 pounds because of this and i don't know what to do. i started a new diet and lost some weight and i'm going to start the walking and i hope that works for me. i work in hollywood and i'm on different shows on disney and appear in magazines wearing swimwear. i can't afford to keep gaining weight like this. if you can offer me some advice, so i don't have to go to therapy and make a big fiasco out of this, i would appreciate it. thanks!
Therapy can help you overcome your compulsive thoughts, and will be well worth your time.
A licensed therapist can definitely tell you better than I can what's causing/how to stop your anxious thought processes.
Personally, working out makes me tense and on edge when I don't take the time to do yoga and meditation in addition to my workouts.
I work out every weekday for about an hour, too, so I know how great a good workout can make you feel. However, when I'm not properly hydrated or I haven't eaten, workouts make me feel awful.
Make sure you're breathing, eating, and hydrating yourself properly. Sometimes when lifting weights, people tend to hold their breath and not even realize it. Take deliberate, steady breaths during your workout. Drink plenty of fluids, and don't overexert yourself.
If you've recently experienced something traumatic or are going through a stressful situation (such as transferring to a different university), your body might not be able to tolerate the amount of strain it's receiving from you, emotionally and physically (with the workouts).
Take some time to relax, and lessen your workouts if you feel like they're too much for you to handle right now.
bitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitchbitch
What?
Hi, I'm 19/F.
So, here's some background info that you may need to answer my question...
I lost my virginity in January 2010. When I was having sex with the guy, it burned (because of the stretching and everything and I was really tight because I have only worn a tampon ONCE. EVER. Because as soon as I got on birth control 3-4 years ago I have super light periods if I have them at all...I'm on the Depo Shot).
Anyways, so the first time it obviously burned a little bit. The second time I had sex with the guy it started to feel good right when he came. So that was a bummer I didn't have an orgasm.
So then, about a week later I had one of my guy friends over and we were flirting and he ended up fingering me. It was AMAZING. Like 10 times better than the sex I had the week before. And he was only using one finger! Anyways, so the guy was fingering me and playing with my clit as he was fingering me and I had body tremors and was almost screaming, lol. It was fantastic!
So, back to my point... I love reading erotic novels and I get really wet reading them so I when I got to this one part in this book I started playing with my clit and of course felt amazing and since I have never fingered myself--I decided to try it but I didn't feel anything.. Like it didn't feel bad but it didn't feel good either.
What are some things I can do to get me to orgasm. Since I am kinda tight would you recommend a vibrator? Like I said before, I've only had sex twice with the same guy and he wasn't really that big so yeahhh....
What are some techniques that I can do myself to get me off?
Thanks in advance! :)
Stimulating both the clitoris and the g-spot at the same time usually drives girls crazy, in my experience. It sounds like the guy who fingered you knew just where yours was.
If you want to find your g-spot, make sure your fingers are well lubricated and touch the wall of your vagina with your palm up. It should be a 2-3 inches in, not too deep. But everyone is built differently down there. Experiment until you feel comfortable.
Move your finger(s) like you're telling someone "come here". You should feel a spot that's a little rough and spongy in comparison to the rest of your vagina.
Congrats. That's the g-spot! The holy Grail! Haha. Have fun.
How do I get over my ex
Hit the gym.
a good workout will make you more energized and more confident.
Take a walk in the park and enjoy the sunshine.
Being outside is proven to help treat things like depression and ADHD. The sunlight will brighten your mood.
Get back out on the dating scene. Talking to some new prospective partners will reassure you that there are plenty more people where your ex came from.
Find something you enjoy to take your mind off all the negative feelings.
If you constantly dwell on how much you need your ex, you'll never get over them. Just stop thinking about it.
Busy yourself with something productive, like cleaning, painting, or exercising. Do something you enjoy doing.
You'll realize that you don't need your ex to be happy.
Happiness is all in your head.
ok so i have been waering tampons for a while now im not looking for a how to insert a tamptin answer
well im on my period. and i went to the toilet earlier. and i tensed my abs when i went as like i felt like a bit constaped kinda thing.... and lumps of blood came out which is normal in some of my periods.
although this massive bit came out like the size of a tampon.
and i did have a tampon is so i was assuming it was that.
it did not hurt, at all. all i did was tense. to be honest i had totally forgot the thing was in there at the time. and it popped out and went dowmn the toilet.
im just intrigued. im a gymnast/cheerleader and i workout alot. could that kind of thing happen to just anyone or just someone that has the muscles to do so? like tense a tampon out of my vagina. because thats all i did.. tense.. i didnt pull the string or anything.. and when i looked just to double check... there was no pull string. so it must have been the tampon.
If it wasn't the tampon, it could've been a blood clot.
Either way, the muscles in the vagina can absolutely push things out or hold things tightly. That's what helps when someone gives birth; the vaginal muscles push out the baby.
Sometimes tampons are too small and come out more easily than if they were a bigger size. If you use regular tampons instead of super extreme extra plus tampons, it's easier to push them out.
I'm sure most people could do this if they tried hard enough, but it would be much easier for you since you stay so active.
I had to do a presentation in my class the other day and at the end of it when I looked and made eye contact with my crush and saw that he was smiling. I guess I said something cute but his smile was really big. :]
I've liked him since last year but we're only acquaintances and the time we actually spend talking is minimal. I feel like I've seen him purposely look in my direction but it could just be my imagination.
Does my crush sound like it's returned? I'm afraid that I just think it is because I'm biased and WANT it to be.
PS: I'm 17/f
Sounds like this guy's definitely interested in you.
Don't ask him flat out whether he has feelings for you, though. That'll kill the crush.
What you do is talk to him, make casual small talk and throw in a couple of flirty things but don't go overboard. If he likes you, he'll ask you out. It's 2010, so if you've been talking for a while and you're pretty sure he'll say yes, you can ask him out yourself. Guys love it when girls are confident enough to make the first move. It takes the pressure off us!
Good luck.
19/f
So I've been broken up with my boyfriend, we'll call him Ray, for awhile now, but we both still want to be together. We decided to "post-pone" our relationship until one of us had a way to see the other (we live a good 20 to 30 minutes apart).
I was hanging out with friends on friday night and met this guy, and we both were attracted to eachother. Then the next night (saturday night) we ended up hanging out with him again. This time he made it very clear he was into me. I told myself I'd probably end up making out with him, but that'd be it. For some reason, all I could think of was Ray. So I had no intent desire to do anything with this guy. We were drinking, so of course I kinda start flirting back right about now. We start kissing, and I could immediately tell he was aggressive. He tried to shove his hand towards my crotch and I pulled it away. Then he said "Let's go back in the hallway". And here's where I feel like it's my fault. I put myself in the situation that happens next, and I know I could've prevented it.
I honestly DID NOT want to, but I started giving him oral and I wanted it to be over. I guess he got so turned on by then that he pushed me down and started yanking my pants off. This may sound so timid, but I was scared to say no. He was being so aggressive that I just went with it because I'd rather not know what would've happpened if I said no and he didn't stop. He was too rough and it hurt. I actually cried, I don't think he ever noticed, but all I could think about was Ray and how much I wanted to push him off of me and leave. I've been having a debate with myself about whether or not I was in love with Ray or not, and at that very moment I realized I did. I only wanted him.
After the guy left I cried for about 2 hours after everyone went to sleep. I felt like a slut, whore, etc. I felt dirty, and nasty. Like no matter how much I cleaned myself I'd still feel gross.
I tried to tell Ray about it, and how I thought of him. He said "If what you're telling me is the total truth, then that's called rape dummy". But it's not, right? I never actually fought back; the guy probably didn't think anything of it.
And then on top of all that, look at how the guy I'm "in-love" with reacted to the whole thing. I sent him two more texts, and he just ignored me. I even told him when we broke up that since we're not really together that if he wanted to do something with another girl he could do it, but I didn't want to know about it. So is he mad that I was with another guy, even though I didn't want it? Should I not want to be with someone who said that to me after something like that? I mean, "technically" it wasn't rape, but I am somewhat emotionally scarred from it. Not wanting sex that you're recieving is the most indescribable, horrible feeling a person can have. I don't even want to know what it's like for people who actually DO fight back.
I guess what I'm asking is, do I have a right to be weird about what happened and should I still want to talk to Ray after how he reacted to it?
Just because you didn't struggle doesn't mean you weren't raped. Being forced to do something sexual that you don't want to do is rape. Period.
You need to report this to the authorities, or someone you trust.
Forget about Ray. Your health is what's important right now.
The website below will help you figure out what you need to do now that you've been raped:
http://www.911rape.org/getting-help/what-to-do-if-you-are-raped
i have a friend who is a year younger than me. We have been best friends for the last 3 years. i love her to death but she's turned into such a bitch. I mean we fight about everything because she just downright rude! she got saved about 2 years ago, and now she is a christian. And i started going to church with her because i wanted to. But after a while i saw what it was doing to her. She started listening to only Christian music, she didn't watch certain movies like twilight and harry potter. And not only that, but she would pressure me into going to church. I go, but i don't feel comfortable, but pretty much all my friends I've made go there. She's been brainwashed. Well today she didn't want to watch Hot Tub time Machine with me at my house. She kept asking me if it's over and i told her it almost was, because she wanted to watch this other movie. Everything has to go her way. She was sitting with me and they were cussing and of course she was like what are you watching?? and kept making comments. And i was like you don't have to watch it. So she went to my room. And she came back and was like your still watching this? it isn't good. And i said i really don't care what you think. And she said well if you didn't then you wouldn't be telling me that. And when she said that i wanted to punch her in the face. She's soo annoying and such a bitch. She calls her self a Christian but she treats people like crap. It's not just me its to people she's really good friends with and even her younger brother. But these people that she's close with go to church with us so they just accept her but i can't. Once i was at the mall and she wanted to come, and i asked her what time she was going and first she said she doesn't k now like always and then she told me that she was going to come in 3 hours. She really wanted me to wait for me for 3 hours! but i didn't. Whenever she wants to hangout she's always wanting me to come to her house at like 10 o clock at night or just wants me to come over. I mean she's a bully pretty much. I do stand up to her. And whenever we hangout she takes forever to get ready. it's ridiculous, because sometimes i spend the night at her house and the next day i have to go to church and sometimes i don't have my car so i have to rely on her but she's still asleep and then she wakes up like 5 min before we're suppose to be there and does her makeup. There was one time when i was really hungry and she was like who cares about dinner blah blah blah. Let's workout first and i was like no so i ate a sandwich. Not only that but last weekend i didn't have my car because i didn't clean like i was suppose to, so i had to rely on her for a ride. And she made a HUGE deal. And kept bugging me saying ughh i always give you a ride which isn't true. And then later i was eating wings and me and 2 of our other friends were there and i walked out of the room to get napkins. I came back and i said out loud i don't understand this movie, and she said well maybe if you weren't eating and paying attention in this really rude way. I got mad and started telling her she's really annoying and that's why no one likes you. and she was like well leave. and i said why do you invite me if your going to be rude. We did make up but of course to her she did nothing wrong and i am getting sick of it. It's not like she's my only friend, but it's just that the other people i go to church with are sometimes really busy with their lives and i do hangout with some of them sometimes with her. and there is one girl i hangout with, but she gets busy too. And they're just too religious. and i am not condemning them for being who they are, it's just weird. I guess it doesn't matter because my best friend of 3 years is going to college soon so i won't see her that much except on weekends, but still i am getting sick of her the way she treats people. I know i can't change her and that's the way she is, but i talk to her but she'll say well your rude too, and i am but only when she is too me but she doesn't care nor will she listen to me because she thinks she can walk all over me, and i can't take it anymore. so what should i do? she's leaving on friday. any ideas?
Being a Christian isn't about listening only to Christian music and keeping yourself from enjoying life. It's about loving God, Jesus, and the people around you.
It seems so simple, yet people have found ways to twist the bible's true messages around to justify their own selfish or prejudiced beliefs.
Anyway, being Christian isn't what's making this girl rude. She may not have any idea how her behavior affects you.
If you don't raise your voice or talk to her accusingly, telling her how you feel will be much more effective. And she'll listen to you more if you're coming from an honest, sincere place.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Friends grow apart, especially in the high school/college years where people start figuring out who they are and what they want from life. If you tell this girl honestly and calmly how she has been making you feel, why, and what both of you can do to fix your friendship and she still gets defensive and continues her behavior, you've got to let go. Accept that the friendship is over, as tough as it's going to be at first.
hey i asked you the too emotional question like a week ago. i was wondering if u had aim/yahoo or some messenger we could talk a little more on and have a convo instead of talking on here? if you could get back to me id really appreciate it. i really need to talk to someone about this.
Definitely. The email account I use for this advice coumn is maxim_grey@yahoo.com.
You can email me or IM me anytime. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
I'm a 19 year old female, and I should be over this sort of thing. I'm very shy, and super sensitive about everything that happens to me. I probably read too much into things like little comments, but I can't help it. I instantly think that everyone hates me (even though I know they have no reason to). I can't take criticism. When I don't see my boyfriend for a day or 2 or if he doesn't call me, I feel sad and I cry because I feel like he doesn't love me since he hasn't called. If hes talking to someone else I feel like hes talking and whispering something about me, then I get sad and ignore him. If he yells at me because he says I want too much attention. I will cry, If he talks to me about it later then Im happy. I don't want him to leave me. There's been times when I think hes ignoring me because I just want to spend time with him. I have tendencies to become jealous very, very quickly; I get cry over everything; I push away my friend because I over react to everything. I get jealous when he talks to other people and ignores me. I dint want him all to myself, but I want him to spend more time with me. I get emotional over the most ridiculous things. I have now hurt my relationship with him, and I am at a loss for what to do. I need help. I get sad when he looks at other women or when I see one from his job, because I think he might like them. I just keep thinking he might wanna be with them, because they are pretty and have acne and scars. I don't bother him 24/7 and Im not always knocking on his door.
I dont get mad about things and throw tanturms, Im just mostly sad.
Then there are examples like today at the store, it was packed to the brim with people and screaming kids. It was all I could do to get out of there without losing it completely, and when I was at the register I asked the cashier if I could have 20 quarters for my 5 dollar bill and she refused saying that only place I can do that is to go to a casino. As a result, as soon as I got in my car I burst into tears. I don't even know why! She wouldn't give me quarters, big deal?
AM I really emotionally immature?
You're not emotionally immature.
You're just too darn emotional.
Breathe deeply and relax.
Next time you're about to cry, think of how insignificant your "problems" really are.
Compare not being able to get change for your five dollar bill to living a life in poverty, starving, not knowing who or where your parents are, or where you're going to sleep that night.
Next time you wonder if your boyfriend is checking out another girl, think about the people whose parents kick them out of the house for even thinking about someone they like, because they're of the same sex. The people who get beaten up, raped, brutally murdered just for being gay, lesbian or transgendered.
Think about that.
Ok I am a 24 yr old female... I have been friends with a guy for almost 8 years now. He has always had a crush on me but we have always just been friends... he understood that I didn't like him in that way and we have remained friends since. However recently we have been talking to each other alot and I think I am starting to like him. The problem is I am not physically attracted to him AT ALL!!! I know this sounds crazy but for the past 3-4 years he has been long distance in the military so I only see him once a year. So its really his personality and how much he cares for me that I like but when I think of trying to be in a relationship I just can't picture it. I am just not attracted to him. What do I do? I keep telling him that I am just not ready for a relationship but its really because I don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him something like this. I am ready to be in a relationship and if I start dating someone else it will crush him because he knows that i kind of like him but i try to convince him otherwise. What should I say or do ?? Help please!! I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to lead him on either,,, we are very close friends and I don't want to lose that. I hope I don't sound like a stuck up person because I am not... I wish that I could be physically attracted to him so I don't have this issue but its just not the case.
Emotional attachment and physical attraction are two completely different things.
I am emotionally attached to my parents.
I am physically attracted to my girlfriend.
Lots of people confuse emotional attachment with attraction.
It's called love. I love my dad, but not in the same way that I love my girlfriend, because of the combination of physical attraction and emotional attachment.
You're emotionally attached to this guy, because he treats you so nicely and because you've been friends for so long.
"Nice" guys always get stuck in the friend zone. Or tied to the end of a dog collar held by a woman that carries a whip.
Either way, this guy doesn't know how to get what he wants in life. He's not confident or assertive enough. Any guy that would wait patiently in the friend zone for 8 years while harboring romantic feelings for you is a wussbag.
It's harsh, but it's true.
He sounds like he's one of your girlfriends, and not a romantic option.
You can't force attraction. If you're not attracted to him, you're not attracted to him.
It's going to hurt, but he needs to hear it.