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Im not physically attracted to someone I like what do I do ???
Ok I am a 24 yr old female... I have been friends with a guy for almost 8 years now. He has always had a crush on me but we have always just been friends... he understood that I didn't like him in that way and we have remained friends since. However recently we have been talking to each other alot and I think I am starting to like him. The problem is I am not physically attracted to him AT ALL!!! I know this sounds crazy but for the past 3-4 years he has been long distance in the military so I only see him once a year. So its really his personality and how much he cares for me that I like but when I think of trying to be in a relationship I just can't picture it. I am just not attracted to him. What do I do? I keep telling him that I am just not ready for a relationship but its really because I don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him something like this. I am ready to be in a relationship and if I start dating someone else it will crush him because he knows that i kind of like him but i try to convince him otherwise. What should I say or do ?? Help please!! I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to lead him on either,,, we are very close friends and I don't want to lose that. I hope I don't sound like a stuck up person because I am not... I wish that I could be physically attracted to him so I don't have this issue but its just not the case.
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Emotional attachment and physical attraction are two completely different things.
I am emotionally attached to my parents.
I am physically attracted to my girlfriend.
Lots of people confuse emotional attachment with attraction.
It's called love. I love my dad, but not in the same way that I love my girlfriend, because of the combination of physical attraction and emotional attachment.
You're emotionally attached to this guy, because he treats you so nicely and because you've been friends for so long.
"Nice" guys always get stuck in the friend zone. Or tied to the end of a dog collar held by a woman that carries a whip.
Either way, this guy doesn't know how to get what he wants in life. He's not confident or assertive enough. Any guy that would wait patiently in the friend zone for 8 years while harboring romantic feelings for you is a wussbag.
It's harsh, but it's true.
He sounds like he's one of your girlfriends, and not a romantic option.
You can't force attraction. If you're not attracted to him, you're not attracted to him.
It's going to hurt, but he needs to hear it.
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Physical attraction is one of the first things that people take into consideration, before anything else. Understanding that he has one of the greatest personalities that every girl in the world wish could find, out of the choices of men, you have a tough situation here. Let's think about how you feel about him, with out picturing his face, he has all qualities you want of a person on the inside, and that's great to have. Then, picturing him...doesn't feel the same (almost like we're referring to two different people).
Inner beauty is something that's authentic, just can't ever be created. I think you should get to reversing the psychological of outer beauty is most important. Once you consider that, then you'll be able to look far beyond his physical appearance, and more into the perspective of his "true being". If you ever find yourself not able to do this, then the best thing you can do is tell him the truth. All in all, the truth will always hurt, but he'll be more appreciative behind it, rather than you keeping closed in. You're friends, and that's what you might want it to remain, so don't ruin it over a relationship. Friendships lasts longer than relationships.
I wish the both of you the best, and take some time to really think on what you're going to do.
Good Luck!
Let me know what happens
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