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backstabber
a few months ago i became close with this guy chris, he was friends with a bunch of other people that i was friends with at the time. we got along really well and soon i felt like i could trust him enough to confide in him about my personal life. he really acted like we were best friends.
i have a serious boyfriend (who is also friends with chris and a lot of mine and chris's mutual friends) so i was kind of surprised when chris told me that he had a crush on me. he told me this after we had been friends for about 5 months, and to me it was completely random because to me i always thought that he thought of me as a friend the same way i thought of him0 .although i guess it would explain his motives in being my friend. after he told me this i felt kind of weird around him; i pretty much rejected him because i told him that i dont ever want to be more than friends and that im happy with my boyfriend.
well now chris is going around telling my boyfriend and our mutual friends (or at least people that i thought were my friends) lies about me - saying things like i "used chris for someone to whine to about my problems" and i "only wanted to be friends with him to make my boyfriend jealous" because i was mad that my boyfriend was talking to another girl...well none of these theories that chris is spreading around about me are true. i thought i was confiding in someone i could trust when i talked to him about things that were bothering me; i never meant to "use" him. i also never even considered "using" my friendship with chris to make my boyfriend jealous, because i honestly never even thought of doing that and never wanted to make my bf jealous.
i kind of understand why he would do these things - he must feel rejected that i kind of ditched our friendship after he confessed that he liked me - and my sister says that he told her that he still likes me.
i tried going up to him and asking him to stop talking about me to other people, but he completely denied it in a very passive way - he just sort of mumbled something about how he doesnt talk about me and then walked away, completely avoiding my confrontation.
my bf says i should ignore him, but it's kind of obnoxious that i have to go around picking up the pieces - he's gone around telling my friends that i'm a bad person for how i "used" him...but in truth i was just uncomfortable with the fact that he had liked me the whole time..
how do i handle a situation like this?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If you make a big deal about what this guy is saying about you, other people will, too.
If someone asks, let them know this guy's upset that you don't like him and that he's being a jerk.
Don't bring it up if no one asks. It'll make it look like you have something to hide, and are trying to assure people Chris is lying. That makes people trust you less.
Your boyfriend is absolutely right. This guy should just be ignored.
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Wow , well obviously , you didn't notice that at all , but I will say that your boyfriend is right just ignore it , your boyfriend loves you and if he really does love/like you he won't believe whatever he says or any of your friends will believe you , your true ones , the phoney ones will believe what he says , your real friends and your boyfriend , will ask you or not believe what he has to say. Plus he is jealous that he put all that time in 5 months to be bestfriends with you and get tossed off badly , but I mean he should have seen it coming you love your boyfriend and all , don't worry about it. It happens right? Your probably a pretty girl so don't worry about it alright? My advice to you , is either talk or not talk to him , or sit him down and talk to this guy and tell him the truth and how not good you feel. Also , just ignore it , don't listen to him , just laugh it off with them , stick to what your boyfriend says , he seems like he knows what he is talking about.
Good luck girl : )
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