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Philadelphia

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college student

Age:

21

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April 10, 2005

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276

Last Update:

June 18, 2010

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General Sex Questions

about

HEYYY :D i'm in college and i'm a psychology major. i've had many experiences with boyfriends, crushes, friends and family. i know quite alot about sex and sex related issues, so feel free to ask me anything about that! i will be completely honest because i would want the same in return.

if you drop one in my inbox, please try to be as detailed as possible (like your age & gender) so i can be as helpful as possible :D

advice

heyy i was wondering if you know anything about green tea and diet plans, i wanted to start a diet to lose close to 10 lbs in a month. and I heard green tea was a good way to burn fat.
Do you know a good diet plan? and Im 16f and a vegetarian.

I don't really know any diet "plans" necessarily, but I do not what to cut out in terms of losing weight. If you drink soda or juice, take it out completely. I stopped drinking soda & all kinds of juice for a month and lost 5 lbs... but then again, I ate junk food and fattening food. So imagine cutting that out! Green tea is good for your body, but honestly, I haven't heard anything about it being a way to burn fat.. but then again, I wouldn't be surprised if it was true. So I'd continue with drinking green tea. Lots of water helps the body lose weight too. The best diet plan I can give you is to cut out soda completely, limit fattening foods (cake, cookies, buttery foods, chips). Don't eat after 8, because the fat builds around then since it's night time. Being a vegetarian also is a biggie! Keep up the good work. :)

"She was young in her mind but the days, they were old and tired"

This is the song. The rest of the lyrics are posted in the info section:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fteSMj893mc&feature=related

Well, the best answer I can give you is from analyzing the next line of the song..

"Along came a love, she had yearned for so long, oh she felt on fire"

This girl was young (body & mind) and looking for love, possibly for a really long time. She was just tired of looking and the days seemed to go by really slow and boring. She had nothing and waa tiring of the wait.. The days were long and it's basically just describing the situation using a metaphor. But then came a love, and she was excited and it brightened up her life and her days. :)

14/m

This Saturday(Jan 23) i have my first date with a girl. We're goin to see a movie, and i need any advice for my first date, this will be her second date as she went out with some other guy. Neither of us has kissed anyone.

So any advice would be great thanks :)

Ah, this made me smile. I can only tell you to relax and be yourself. Us girls know when a guy is nervous, so it deff shows. Be yourself and don't be nervous. Let things flow, and ask questions about her (before the movie!) but also give her some of your input as well. Don't be shy, tell her about yourself (if you already know eachother, tell her more so she feels closer to you). If a kiss happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it's not the end of the world, there's always the second date, right? :) Let things happen.. don't force a kiss. Going with the flow is the best thing to do on a first date. When you see her, give her a hug and tell her she looks really cute. Oh, and don't over or under dress! Dress casually, jeans and a nice shirt would do just finee. Good luck!

heeey this is the 15 year old from the question you answered... yeaaah i know im to young lol, but we used protection but the condom broke and he busted inside of me.. could that be what's keeping me up ? and yeaaah that wasnt the first time id had sex with this guy but why is this time bothering me like i dont get it.. it might be that he's with another girl like actually with and imjust a fuckk buddy anymore and i actually care for him.. but thanks for the advice im just reallly confused.. :/

I'm sorry about the situation.. but the only advice I can give you is to not let yourself be this fuck buddy! I know you care for him, but you said yourself.. he's with another girl and is still having sex with you. He's getting the best deal out of this situation! He gets the girlfriend and the sex buddy.. that's soo not fair and not right. You're going to get hurt if you keep doing this, trust me. My ex stringed me along for months and would use me for sex, when I thought he cared and loved me. Guys are sickkk. If you want to be with him, make him choose and if he doesn't choose you right away, forget him an move on, he's not worth it and it's not worth you stressing over! :)

I'm 15 but last Saturday this guy that I havent talked to in a while but have always been in love with we had sex and alot of things happened that has been bothering me.. but ever since that day i can't sleep.. im exhausted and i lie awake in my bed replaying everything that happened until its time for me to go up and go to school i feel like im going crazy because no matter what i do i cannot sleep and if i do fall asleep thoughts of that night wake me up.. what is going on with me !

Hmm.. the big question is, do you regret what happened with this guy? I know, I know.. you probably don't want someone preaching to you about being too young.. but 15 IS young to have sex, you have to admit that. Emotional maturity does not level out until about 25, sometimes later. So our emotions are running wild and at 15, the emotional consequences of having sex are high. But anyway, I hope you were safe and that you are okay physically. You talk about alot of things that happened and that they are bothering you.. did something else happen that night? Did he hurt you or treat you horrible? Have you talked to him since that night? Maybe you need to put your feelngs out there so you feel better. I can't read your mind, so I don't know what exactly is eating you up inside :[

I suggest first, talking to this guy. See if he can help you answer some questions or you can atleast get your feelings out in the open. If you do regret what happened, that's understandable. Things happen and people make mistakes, and we learn from them and it makes us smarter, wiser and stronger. Do not let that bother you! Do you have a family member or even a good friend that you can trust? Getting your feelings & emotions out to someone you can count on will make you feel better and they can give you advice and help take some of this heavy load you are carrying on your back. I hope everything works out.

i'm not positive with what i want to do with my life yet, but one of my dream jobs would be to start up a business like a record label or a talent agency type thing. (entertainment business is where i want to be at probably)

so if i wanted to do that, would i be a management major? i'd probably have to minor in something related to what i want to do, but will management get me where i want to be?

I'm not sure how old you are, if you are in college or about to go to college, so I can only answer in a general way.

For starters, when you do enter college or if you are in college, talk to an advisor. They know everything about getting started on careers and can help you figure out which direction to go. There college and career life savers, trust me! Tell them exactly what you want to do, and they will guide you to which degree you should aim for. Through my experience though, I would say (for your dream goal & career) that an M.B.A. would be the best choice. That's a masters in business administration. Starting your own company and/or agency usually takes a high education level. (Though you might be able to do it with a bachelors)

I'm not the professional though. The college advisors are, so I would talk with them.. AND if you're in high school, college counselors there can help you decide which college would be the best choice and can help too. :)

theres a song that goes
'baby let me , baby let me l-l-l-l-
baby let me love you down

It sounds like the song Let Me Love You Down by Ready for the World. It's a good song, so hopefully it's what you were looking for! :)

heyy.. you'll probably see this question later on, but i wanted advice sooner.. what should i expect my first time having sex.. as far as the physical feeling, i know everyone is different but i want some kind of knowledge going into it. like things that could possibly go wrong, or things to do to make it better.. thanks in advance.

hey, hope i'm getting back to you soon enough :) i don't know how old you are or what your exact situation is, so i'm going to keep my answer general. i just hope you are in love and are ready emotionally, if yes, then deff go for it.

being ready emotionally is extremely important. if you're unsure and do it anyway, you will regret it. if you are not in love, you will regret it. but moving on from that, the first time, i'm sure you've heard.. it hurts. you may bleed, it might be a little and it could be as heavy as a period. don't freak out because this is normal. make sure you are relaxed and your muscles are relaxed or it will hurt more and may cause more bleeding.

i also hope you are using some sort of protection. to make it better though, i seriously suggest not taking it so serious. people think of sex as such a serious thing and therefore, lose all the fun in it. first times are awkward, but play on that! if something funny happens, laugh and joke with him about it. i'm not saying sex is something to be taken lightly (esp your first time) but it is supposed to be fun and feel good. trust me, you can't be prepared for every little thing. things may go wrong, but ya know what, you learn from them and the next time will be better and the time after that, and so on. each time will get easier and less things will go wrong and you'll figure it out as you go. hun, trust me on this! my first time, i cried hysterically for no reason and my bf freaked out and thought i was going to tell my parents he assaulted me lol things happen! and then we get to laugh at them later. good luck :)

Me and this guy have been talking and hanging out and im pretty sure he likes me because he kissed me etc. But he always texts me saying "hey whats up" etc but like he talks a little bit then he just kinda doesn't say much and i have to keep the convo going.Like I will type a whole paragraph and he will say " haha oh nice : )" or something similiar and i usually just dont respond and then he will text me later and the same thing will happen.Why do guys do this?!

Some guys (mostly teenage guys) are not great texters! This is deff normal. They for some reason, never text anymore than a sentence and it's like a miracle if they text 2 sentences. Do not take this as personal or that it's your fault. Guys don't really know how to respond to some things so they just think quick and text "oh cool" or even just "haha". They don't want to convo to just drop dead so they think by texting atleast SOMETHING that will keep it alive and you'll text back. It seems like he is interested in you because he texts you alot and always asks whats up. Maybe you could tell him one time "im exhausted from texting so much, just give me a call if ya wanna talk" or something along those lines. Don't get frustrated about this though, it's just the way most guys are.

http://tinypic.com/r/fk5dol/6

She's wearing some lace off the shoulder dress thing, I was wondering where I could possibly get one like that? I love lace and that it's off the shoulder.

Thanks :)

The thing is, it does not look like it's an off the shoulder dress. She probably made it like that by pushing it down on that side. (I do that with some shirts too) It looks like a dress that would come from places like Forever 21 or Charlotte Russe, hopefully you know of them and they are located near you.

Check out there websites. Oh, and if you find a fab dress and it doesn't have lace, you can always get someone to sew some on (like to a cleaners or professional) where you'd like to add some spice or to cover your scar.

yes, fifteen. as in tenth grade. as in everyone else started developing them six years ago. all other signs of puberty are apparent, but as far as my chest goes, it's as if my body forgot to produce hormones there or something. what is wrong with me?? if all i have to do is wait, why haven't i ever met or heard of a single person out there like me? i can't even go swimming because any flat-chested girl looks awfully unattractive in a bathing suit unless she's just a little girl still. and both guys&girls will stare and be so grossed out and know and just... don't act like this isn't a big deal. sorry to sound like a b*tch, but all people tell me when i keep asking this question is "just be patient, they'll come" so please don't say anything at all if you're just going to act like this is normal. what should i do? should i get surgery when i'm older if i still don't have them? is there any chance i WILL ever get them because i know there are some women in this world that never develop breasts and that terrifies me.

Why does it terrify you? I'm just wondering why breasts are so important to you.. because there must be a deeper reason. Have you been teased because of it? Do you think guys will like you less because you don't have big boobs? (Which isn't true, so hopefully you don't think that!)

I absolutely do not judge you for feeling this way, I did not develop breats until my sophomore year of high school and I hated seeing all my friends develop quicker and be able to wear regular bras, while I was still wearing training bras. Have you noticed that there are several female celebrities with smaller breasts? Kate Hudson, who is gorgeous and confident with her body, and never had surgery on her breasts.

The bottom line is, you may grow.. you just might be one of the few girls that develop super slow. You may not, since I can't predict what will happen or tell you for sure. And of course, you can get surgery when you're older. There is nothing wrong with that either! See what happens in the years to come, and that will give you time to grow and decide what you would like to do about the situation. Any choice you make will be yours and only yours, and you should only make it depending on your happiness. :)

Hey, I was just watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the first show of this season and I fell in the love with the song that happened when Kim was taking down pictures of Reggie. The song lyrics were like yeah yeah yeah, ohhhh, and we'll all fall apart. Sorry the description isn't so well for the song, but its a guy signing and he is mostly saying yeah and ohh.

Hmm, try Jay Sean - Stay.

It sounds like that... but if not, try the website letssingit.com, you can choose the option to type in the lyrics you might know in the search bar and songs will come up with those lyrics in it. It might help ya :)

ok. i'm a sixteen year old girl and my boyfriend is eighteen. we've been together for 15 months. well it will be 15 months tomorrow! we've been having sex since april (seven months ago). he usually doesn't last long enough for me to finish so i was wondering if there was some way, that doesn't involve pills or medicine that will help this problem. thank you!

This used to happen to me alot.. well, not me, ex-boyfriends I had lol. Young guys, in the teenage area, sometimes early 20s, they usually can't last that long. The hormones are raging and as soon as they're getting "lucky" they tend to get over eager and excited and last sometimes for 5 mins, sometimes even less. When I was younger, my boyfriends that were around 18, 19 did not last more than 10 mins. It's normal, but the best suggestion I can give is to have alot of foreplay.. good half hour of that and change positions frequently. Changing positions (I've read) has been the number one cure for guys that finish quickly since he can't stay in the same mode, since you guys are changing every few mins or so and he'll last longer. Hope that helps :)

you already have finals? and its ok i understand. and thanks for the great advice :) but there is a problem ..i like this other kid but his cusin doesnt likes me because she thinks i whent out with him while he was with his girl..and the kids cusin is really good friend with his girl..welll they broke up so lets just say ex girlfriend..i just dont want to go out with some ones whos cusin dont like me because then thats going to make things kinda uncofortable..otherwise the other kid i do like him ....yesterday he sended me like 4 text messages and since he noticed i didnt reply he sended me a message thru myspace..am confused :(

I think you should go after who you like more. Relax and think things through. Do you like the first guy more, the one who texts you all the time? Or do you like the kid whose cousin does not like? Look, not everyone is going to like you, and even more people won't like you AT FIRST. If you honestly like this guy and are just avoiding the situation because of his cousin, don't let that get in your way. It seems like he doesn't care what his cousin thinks! So why should you? And seriously, who knows, his cousin might end up liking you once she gets to know you. If he's a good guy, he'd tell his cousin to lay off and that you're a great girl and she should just get to know you before passing judgment. But I think for now, you need to figure things out. Figure out what your heart wants, or actually, WHO your heart wants. Imagine both guys were in a room and you had to pick one, no questions asked, no surrouding issues, just them two. Who'd you choose? Just relax and think, don't be too hard on yourself :)

there is this kid i really like. i went to a baby shower and he was there but then after that i never saw him again, until my friend was talking to me about a boy and it was actually him..i got really surpised. my friend gaved him the link of my myspace and he requested me..we started chatting and then he asked me if i have a phone or aim..and i gaved him both..he texted me and we started texting and we still are..he is a really funny kid and we talk about love and different types of things he said he wants to see me so we can all chill but i dont have the time because am going to new york,the ther day he was going to pick me up to go to a party and i ddint went..he was actually sad because he told me he wanted to meet me ..but i want to know if he likes me because i like him alot :(

Sorry for getting back to you so late! College is crazy with finals week :( But with your problem... well not really a problem! This guy likes you, don't worry. He adds you on myspace, asks for your number, asks you to hang out... ALL signs of being into someone. Don't overanalyze the situation, guys are quite simple. When they like a girl, they'll ask her to hang out and call/text her. It's as simple as that. I don't know why you didn't go to this party, but you should have! Hang out with him at least once before you go to NY and see if there's a good spark there. If you absolutely can't because you're so busy, let him know you want to hang out and as soon as you get back, you'd love to get together.

so basicllyyy i keep having these problems with every trip and idk what to do. i have friends but just everytime we go on a schoo ltrip of something we have to take a bus and i always worry about who to sit with. to the point where i dont go becuase im too scared about the bus ride. please help me. what do i do?

Well...are you worried about sitting with one friend which would leave another out? or you just can't decide who to sit with?

I used to have the problem of deciding which friend to sit with, since all of my friends used to fight over who we would sit with and either people were left out or were angry!

You should ask one of your friends the day before the trip if they'd want to sit with you. Decide who'd be the most fun to sit with or who you're the closest to. Basically say "Hey, let's sit together on the bus tomorrow and keep eachother unbored!" or something along those lines. Don't keep worrying so much and then losing out on fun trips ! The bus ride is only so long, and then the actual trip/destination is the main event. If you don't want to actually ask a friend the day before, play it by ear. As everyone's getting ready to get on the bus, grab a friend and ask then so it doesn't seem like you have been worrying.

My boyfriend and I have been together 3 months today. When we first started out, he was always really sweet and he'd always say sweet things. Then, we started getting a little more "sexual" I guess you could say. We didn't really go on "dates" we'd just sneak out and go do stuff, but he still was really sweet and it wasn't just because we did stuff, he was just genuinely sweet. We started discussing sex and I told him that I want to wait, and he said he'd wait for me to be ready, but we both knew it was a possibility. Well, I kept changing my mind on the sex issue, because I was afraid if we had sex, our relationship would be boring because there would be nothing to look forward to. So I guess he finally got tired of chasing that dream, because we don't talk about it as much. Actually, we don't really talk about much of anything. We'll be texting things like "Ok cool :b" back and forth and it's just overall a very stale discussion. On the other hand, when we get to hang out and do things, it's really fun and it makes me so happy just to be with him. Like, we don't even have to be talking when we're together alone. But now, I've been having this weird gut feeling. I think he might be too. This is the first time I don't want to tell him what's on my mind because in the past we were always able to talk things out. I feel like I'm bottling something up, something negative, but I don't know what it is. And on top of this stuff that's already going on, my friend just got a new boyfriend and they remind me of how my boyfriend and I used to be. He's really sweet and she's so happy and he never says anything mean to her. My boyfriend...I don't know whenever we're together alone, everything is perfect. But when we're in public, he can be kind of mean to me. Like, he'll say he's just kidding, and I know he's just kidding, but I want him to be sweet instead. How do I bring all of this up to him? I'm really afraid that if I bring it up, he'll think I want to break up with him and I don't. I don't want to lose him, I really do love him. I just am so confused about all of my feeling right now, I don't know what to do. Please help me.

Any advice that any of us could give you would not be accurate.. because YOU and HIM are in the relationship. None of us are. Our advice could only do so much, but what about saying all you just wrote, to him? Let him know that you do not want to break up, that you want to make sure things are ok and that he's ok. Ask him if he needs to get anything off his chest and say what's on your mind. If you keep quiet, things will get worse or your mind & heart will go crazy and go into overload! It's always the best idea to talk things out. Bottling up feelings and emotions just gets worse with time.. small things turn into big things. It's great that he seems like he's a good guy, since he's waiting until your ready and he's sweet most of the time. The funny thing about relationships, is in the beginning, it's new and exciting.. you're still trying to impress the other person and you're on your best behavoir. As they grow and develop, they tend to get "boring" to a point because you know eachother and are used to eachother.. which is NOT a bad thing. Settling in and not taking AS MUCH as you did in the beginning happens in relationships. Just talk to him, you'll feel better afterwards.

i just went to the bathroom and it kind or stung a little when i peed. but i think it only stung because its really dry down there. i was curious so i checked to see if anything was there and i saw this..well it wasnt quite a bump, it pretty much blended in with the area around my clit but it was a little more rised. you can barely tell its there and it doesnt hurt or anything. maybe its always been there? i dont know im confused Nd scared please help..

I wouldn't worry much about the bump, unless it's very noticeable and large. The thing is, if it burns/stings when you pee, you might have a UTI (urinary tract infection) which ALL girls get, so it's not big deal. I would suggest calling your doc to get a urine test so she can prescribe some antibiotics. If it burns when you pee again, deff call your doc so you can get treated asap. I wouldn't worry about the bump you described, unless it changes at all (becomes bigger, starts to hurt, etc.)

What happens when you run a red light and there's a red light camera? I don't know if I ran it right when it turned red or what because I apparently wasn't thinking. Will they send a ticket home? Will I have to go to court? How much will it be? Will I get my license taken away?

I'm 17 and just got my license this August. I haven't had any tickets - I just got pulled over once because the light above my license plate was out but the police officer just let me go.

I know how you feel, because I get so worried when I get near this intersection that has tons of red light cameras. It's a tough call, because are you sure it's red light cam and not just a surveillance cam for the area? If you're sure it's a red light cam and you think you ran a red light, they USUALLY send you a warning if it's your first time. If not, they just send you a paper asking you to pay around like $100. You won't get your license taken away and you won't have to go to court. Do you know many people would have to go to court if they did that? Everyone runs red lights. It'll work out, it's honestly not a big deal.

my boyfriend and i have been together on and off for about a year. we are together now. he is 21 and i am 19. i know it doesnt seen like much difference but to him it does. he sees me in his future and i see him in mine. we love each other as well. the only problem is that we dont really have anything in common. that is a problem for him. he likes sports and i kinda dont know what i like! but i go to his games, watch sports with him as much as i can. he does things for me too. but he asked me yesterday, 3 years down the road and we are married what will we talk about? that is his concern, that we have nothing in common and we wont have anything to talk about...(one of his concerns) so i guess i just want to know if we arent right for each other or what. thank you.

Well, many many couples who are together and get married do not have much in common. It comes down to commonality OR chemistry. Do you guys have chemistry together? Is the spark there? If it is, than having things in common doesn't matter much. You both do things the other doesn't have much interest in, which shows compromise, which is great for a healthy relationship. You guys seem to talk about the future ALOT, why don't you relax and enjoy the present? Society makes us think that we have to have dozens of things in common with our partner to be happy, but opposites DO attract. My parents who have been together for almost 30 years have about, 2 things in common and they still love eachother and the spark? It's still there. You guys need to just have fun in the present and go with the flow.. you want to be together, than be together. Don't worry about "down the line.." right now.. that'll come and you'll deal with it when it comes. You guys will find things to talk about, especially if you both are in love.. it just works out when chemistry is involved.

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