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As you can see from my ratings I give GREAT advice not meaning to sound cocky lol :) but I specialize in ANY relationship related problems, so send me a question. I reject questions that do not ask for advice but more for sympathy, so try and keep your questions strictly professional. You'd be lucky to run across me answering one of your questions. I would really appreciate it that at the end of every answer I give that you give me feedback so I can know if I helped you or not.




Text me anytime: 240-552-5813

advice

Okay, well I kinda snuck out the house at 3am a few weeks ago to go to my boyfriends house and he didn't even know I was going over there he just called me and said "im outside" so I decided to walk out there to see him. Well anyways my parents found out what I did and they think it was all my boyfriends fault that I snuck out even though it was my idea. Well they grounded me from everything and called my boyfriend who I was like in love with and told him never to speak to me again and that I couldn't talk to him anymore. Well that didn't stop me. I been using my friends phone and been texting him and when my parents go to bed I get the house phone and call him at night, but we are broken up. I want to go back out with him, but ill never be able to see him, but im like madly in love with him. Also my parents don't want anything to do with him so what should I do? Like should I go back out with him? or should I just move on and stop talking to him?

The way you wrote this I can tell that you really have some puppy love with this guy. So if it was up to me I definitely wouldn't let my parents stop me from seeing that person I'm in love with. I say do everything in your power to keep seeing this guy and keep in communication with him like you have been currently doing. And if your parents get too strict than you need to confront them and tell them whats on your mind. I know that they are just looking out for your well-being I mean thats what parents do. But that does not mean that they should interfere with your love life.

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Ok theres this guy i like ALOT named Griffin
hes alot shorter than me which is kinda adorable but hes my ex's bestfriend my ex says he dont care but i know he does
should i go out with griffin? cuz he said he likes me too and he asked me out but i havent given him an answer yet =/
so yeahh help!

Griffin is not much of a best friend to your ex boyfriend is he to be asking you out after you two have broken up with one another. I mean that's GUY CODE rule # 4. DO NOT ASK EX'S OUT!
I also can tell that your EX doesn't approve I mean what EX would, unless their idiots. It's not the fact that his best friend is asking you out, that's not the problem it's more of a RESPECT thing. Like he probably feels like he has no RESPECT right now by Griffin asking you out. But enough about that. Let's get back to you, I feel that it's not like your EX is your best friend, because than I would think your wrong.(Hands-Down) But seeing as how it's just your EX. Griffin asking you out is not YOUR PROBLEM, it's your EX's problem, so if you like Griffin, than maybe you should date him. It's not your fault that he likes you and you feel the same back. It's not up to your EX to control your relations with others. That's why their called EX's right? So do it.

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okay...so I am seventeen years old, and i have a little problem...

I think that i have an issue with the men in my life. See, i've never really had a father figure because my dad doesnt care really what i do. he has lived in the same house as me for my whole life, but he shows no interest in my life whatsoever. he doesnt even know my birthday, how old i am, or what grade i am in. I've always wanted to be like my friends and be a daddy's little girl, but no matter how hard i try, he still doesnt care. i've told him i love him so many times but he'll just hang up the phone or walk away.

i dont think i've done anything to disappoint him, i've always been a good kid, never in trouble...so why doesn't he love me?

but that's not really the main issue, i've come to realize now after seventeen years that he is never going to love me like i want him to.

But, i think that this is affecting my relationships with boyfriends. See, right now i have a pretty good boyfriend. and he treats me right, he says he loves me, and i really care about him too. A lot. but he lives about two hours away and we see each other on the weekends if we're lucky. I really want to be with him, but when i'm at school and other guys show an interest in me, i just can't seem to tell them i have a boyfriend or that i can't be involved with them. like right now, there's a boy who really likes me that goes to my school and he wants to date me, and i could possibly like him, but i think the reason i talk to him is because he's showing an interest in me, and i think i need that constantly...and i know it's horrible. i've never cheated on my boyfriend, but i have a feeling that its a possibility if i dont get a handle on this. thats why i'm asking for your help...
i feel like such a bad person.
but i really need to find a way to deal with this before i hurt my boyfriend.
any advice is appreciated. =)

It seems that the attention you don't recieve from your only dad, is what you are attempting to recieve from boys. But I'm letting you know that a boy's interest cannot fill a dad's love for their child at all. It will just become an addiction for you to have attention for no reason at all, so do not get caught up in that. Keep your eye on one guy, and one guy only. As far as your dad goes, you need to sit him down and talk to him about what is on your mind. I know that this has to be a hard thing to do, it may cause you to be nervous and you may feel that you are not able to do it, but if you want his care and attention you must confront him and tell him that he's treating you like dirt and it is affecting your social life. If he walks away as usual, or acts as if he doesn't care, maybe it's more than you, it's probably something else that he is not telling you that is causing him to dislike you. He probably has a personal issue that does not involve you but he feels he MUST take it out upon you. Talk to your mom about this if your dad won't. And if you can't than maybe it's time to face facts that you may never get the attention from your dad that you need so much. But DO NOT let that destroy you. "You can bring a horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink". You can tell your dad about how you feel, but you can't make him do anything about it, it is up to him and only him. Maybe, he wanted a boy or maybe it was something going on between him and your mom before they had you that is causing him to act this way towards you. But please dont let this get to you. This is why teens grow up with an un-leveled head, is because of this, I'm not going to show you sympathy nor empathy for this because I cannot understand or feel how your dealing with this because I've never been through it myself, and I'm not taking pity upon you, but I do sympathize over our situation. I give you luck on how you manage to overcome this.

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Ok so im 20/f. I still have feelings for my ex. We broke up like 2 yrs ago and I have a new gf who Ive been with for a while and she has a new gf. We are all friends and everything but for some reason I still have this crush on my ex.
The other day I confessed it to her. I told her about my crush and my feelings for her and everything and we really havent talked since then bc I told her on aim and right after i told her i had to go bc I was at work. I tried msgin her yesterday but she was at work and kinda givin like one word answers so I didnt wanna bother her. I kinda wanna msg her today but like I never used to msg her before i told her so I dont wanna liek weird her out or anything. But I kinda wanna know what she thinks. im not tryin to be with her or anything thats not why I told her. I told her just to get it off my chest basically. I just dont know what I should do and if I do message her I dont know what to say. And I dont wanna be annoying or anything. Any advice??

If you feel this strongly for her still than you MUST make the first move. Don't wait around for her to make it, because she probably never will. You have to do it. Obviously, you shouldn't talk to her via phone, texting, or e-mail but more face to face. This is because by you talking to her via phone, she's not going to take your conversations too seriously. So confront her, this way she can see your sincerity and emotion, she'll take the conversation more serious, and will actually give you full sentences rather than one word answers. You two need to really have a nice long talk, over a hot beverage, maybe at a caf'e... Talk it out, trust me, if she feels the same than you will see it on her face and through her emotion. If not, and she rejects you than it may be time to move on and find someone who you know will love you through thick and thin. There is no use on loving someone who doesn't love you and has moved on

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well,..i spent some time with my ex-boyfriend on saturday..*sighs* well he just up & left me last year without warning& moved in with his wife& kid in las vegas(they were separated for the 5 years we were together)..well, it was very hard for me..well I didn't know how to act around him i was very nervous and didn't know how to act like myself..he stepped outside twisce while i was with him this weekend to call his wife and that just made me feel really bad, bad for her and bad for me.You must know that i was with him for 5 years, he was still technically married but they lived in separate states and he never wore his wedding ring. Now with all that has happend i still have this glimmer of hope. I still love him soo much and now i feel horrible in side..kind of like empty and what the hell is wrong with me..what am i to him..why did he want to see me? what am I to him? i want to ask him but i'm afraid that it's going to cause un-easiness for both of us..HE TOLD ME IF I COULD WAIT HE KNOWS WE HAVE A FUTURE..if he loved his wife would he have seen me,would he have said what he said to me.. i can't help but wonder, he says he doesn't love her hes just with her for his son, but i don't know if he's just saying that cuz he doesn't want to hurt me? i don't know..he also told me to let him know when..also he wanted me to go to this family get together with him (the wife wasn't going to go) becasue his family really likes me, and they have told me that they like me for him better than her because she's violent to her son..comments like that make me wonder, and i have hope that he still wants to be with me that he's just with her for the kid but ..i don't know what do you think?do you think he still cares for me?...i don't know how i feel..i want to call him and talk about this a little bit but i don't know if i should wait for him to call me.what do you think about all this?

Okay, I'm not judging you or anything of that matter but why were you with a married man in the first place. Secondly, I know that in 5 years you've had to have fallen in love with him, but if he up's and jumps to leave you all of a sudden. That means that he doesn't feel the same for you. Because if he loved you, and I'm talking true love than he would divorce his wife and stay with you. Regardless if he's divorced or not he can still be able to see his son and provide for his son, he does not have to be with his current wife in order to do so. I believe, that he is making excuses in order to go back to her and leave you guessing like you are now. From my perspective, I believe that he's telling you these pathetic excuses so he can get with her and when things go wrong again he know's he can come back to you. He is using you. Why else is he still with his wife, if he loves you than he would've been called for the divorce. You have some choices.
1) I know you love him, but maybe you should let him go. I mean he is married to another woman! and find someone who will treat you better. That you can start a life with.
2) Ask him to choose, you or her! Confront him about the situation and stand strong!
3) You can stay with him and continue to put up with his BS if that's how much you love him for what he's done to you.

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okay. so I have this abnormally large unhealthy obsession with the jonas brothers. like massive! like every other word in my vocabulary is jonas related. and well I have a couple of friends that like them, then a couple that don't. well I talk a lot about the jonas brothers I can't help it. and my friends are telling me to shutup cause im annoying and stuff lately I've just been feeling like an outkast like I don't fit in anywhere. can someone please help me! thanks in advance

Trust me, I know people just like you.
Now I'm not going to tell you to try and go into Jonas rehabilitation or anything lol. But all I can tell you is to "love" the Jonas brothers on your OWN time. But when you get around your friends, be yourself but not so much a Jonas fanatic. Meaning, when your around your friends talk like a decent person, and when your by yourself than express yourself. And if you can't do this than be yourself regardless of what your friends say, and if they cant accept you than there not your real friends, find someone who will like you regardless of what you like. And if they want to talk to you, than they'll come to you, like I expect. Because deep down they'll wonder, "whatever happened to her?" and that shows that they do want to hang around with you when they see you hanging with new people. and not them

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my best friend, who i've known since i was 5 years old, is pretty much ditching me because it's her last year of highschool. i'm 16.i mean,i know shes having fun with all her senior friends,but i feel like she likes her new friends better and doesn't care for me anymore. i'm always the one calling her, always the one there for her. every time we hangout, its ALWAYS her friends hanging out with us! its NEVER just me and her, and if by some chance it is, its just different. I feel like i've lost a part of me, but i don't know what to do! She got mad at me because i didn't hangout with her one time,when she's always the one blowing me off. she makes me feel like its my fault. I'm like the friend she hangs out with when she has no one else, and i'm sick of it. but theres also that fact that I've known her for 11 years. I honestly think we're taking different paths in our lives. I'm so sad and confused, and angry all at the same time =[. My question is what should i do about this whole mess? last time we talked we were mad at eachother.I've felt this way for so long.she makes me feel like crapp. Should i confrount her about all of this or just leave it like i have? ANY help on thiss would be grand,and thanks

I'm going to give you the BEST advice I can:

From my perspective it seems as if she's treating you like SLOPPY SECONDS.. You know, like only hanging out with you when it fits HER TIME. And this is not acceptable. Trust me, if you don't want it to get too much worse, you need to confront her about the situation. I didn't say via e-mail, text message, or any other technological fashion. Face to face confront her and tell her what's on your mind and why you feel that way. If she's the REAL friend as you describe than she will feel for you and actually listen and learn from what you say. But, if she's just treating you like SLOPPY SECONDS like I see it, than she'll listen but not understand, and continue to do what she's doing. And from there, it's up to you on whether to DUMP her or to KEEP her.

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(she's 13 im 15)
ok last night i told this girl how i felt i told her everything and she said it was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to her and it made her cry and so she said she would think about it and so i talk to her today she said once again it was the sweetest thing anyone has told her and that i was an amazing guy but she doesn't feel the same way which sucks to here but im ok with that but she feels horrible about it and keeps asking if im ok does this mean she could possibly have a change of heart?

Obviously she feels guilty that you care more for her than she does of you. She feels guilty that you took your relationship way more seriously than she has. This guilt is normal and she's asking you how she feels because she's obviosuly upset that she may have hurt you. This is the common female, ALWAYS worrying. But you need to confront her and let her know that everything's okay. She basically means that she doesnt know if she should try harder to feel the same for you, or if she should just let it go and move on, but that decision isn't up to you, it's up to her, let her make it.

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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I got married on very short notice. I have known him for a total of three years today in fact and been married for 17 months now. I was very young and so was he. Still are. We are both 25. We both have children from another relationship and one together. If I could write in detail everything it could take forever. lol Here is the thing. I am changing as a person and he is not. He is not trying to grow with me and he really doesn't know me at all. We never talk only through text including when we are at home. All he cares about is sex and he wont understand how I can't unless the emotional part is there. At work another man is paying alot of attention to me. He doesn't work there he is just a customer. He actually makes me feel really good about myself unlike my husband who would rather call me names. Did I mention he has cheated 6 times in three years? Not sex but it might as well been to me. Even before this other guy came into play, I wanted out. I can't take the hurt he has caused me but I am terrifed of leaveing. That is just a quick some of things. Now what I would like to know if anyone has been through this or something simular? Will you help me figure out what I should do? I still love my husband but I do not like him if that makes sense. This has nothing to do with the other guy and all I do is talk to him from time to time about everyday things. I cant do that with my husband. This other guy just makes me feel like I'm not crap. That I can do anything I want still. He makes me feel free again. Please. I really don't know what to do.

Now I'm going to let you know right now that you shouldn't drastically break it off with your husband "YET"... I mean think of your children. I am going to suggest marriage counseling. If he declines which I believe he will, than you need to confront him immediately DO NOT HOLD BACK, and lay everything on your mind about him on the table. Talk to him about it and hopefully he will understand and you two can work it out. I'm not making any decisions for you, that is for you to decide. But, if it were me, if he does not change within the next 2 weeks or less, I would break it off and give the next guy (customer) a chance to treat you better and your kids. You should really think this through and realize that there is someone better out there for you, and your husband is obviously not attempting to mature your relationship, so you really need to get with someone who will mature your relationship and keep your spirits extoled.

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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what can i say to my boyfriend while texting him. something cute, yet a bit naughty. i don't just want to be like... "i want you" that sounds kind of weird to me? i dont know is there anything i could say that would kind of turn him on.

thanks 17/f by the way.

Actually "I want you" is not a bad thing to say at all, it's straight to the point and actually will turn him on a LOT. Believe me, this is guy giving you advice right now. I know if my girl texted me and told me that, that I would be pretty "turned on"... As far as texting him goes. Maybe you should strike up a conversation that is completely "dirty" and "sexual". You know phone sex. I can't tell you what to say because these are words that should come from you/// and only you... but keep it "dirty" and honest you know?

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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I have a boyfriend right now but i feel like my feelings for my ex have been comming back.
I dont know if i should just i.m. him and like catch up but i havent talked to him in about a year and i dont know what to do. Any suggestions?

Obviously, if you are still thinking about a past relationsip while you are in your current relationship than your current partner is doing a good enough job of helping keep your mind off of ex and more on him. So I believe that if you feel stronger for your EX than your BF... You need to break it off, and you need to confront your EX and be straight-up with him and tell him that you miss him and that you want to work things out. IT is better than knowing that you care for someone stonger than your current BF and you know that you'd rather be with your EX than your current BF.

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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i asked a question earlier and you answer, this gift i want to give him is to show him that i am sorry because i cheated and i dont just want to give flowers maybe a teddy bear along or something with it with a note. please let me know!

NO, i wish you would've told me this before, because than I would have given a better explanation. I'm sorry for the inconvenience of your situation though.

My Advice:

I say that you do not give him flowers by delivery. I also say that you DO NOT contact him via, phone, e-mail, or any other source of technology. My advice of him forgiving you, would mainly be for you to get to a flourist and buy a dozen flowers and nice teddy bear to go along with it. You find some way, somehow to get to his home and confront him face to face. It is 30% more likely that he will forgive you if you confront him about it because it shows him that you are more serious about the situation by actually confronting him. Than sending your sorrows digitally, or delivery. So confront him immediately before it is too late, and talk things through and I can nearly guarantee that if he truly loved you, that he will forget about it and forgive you. but you have to make sure it doesn't happen again.

If you need more help:

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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why are boys shy? arent they suppsoed to be like... not.. haha

Well, I'm a guy myself.. So I can tell you why with a perfect example.
Say a guy likes a girl so badly and he wants to ask her out, but he's afraid he doesn't meet her standards and that she will "reject" him. REJECT being the keyword in this example. Guys are shy because their afraid of rejection. While females aren't that shy because they know even if they get rejected it's not a big deal. But, guys know that if they get rejected, females most likely run their mouths to their friends about it and that information than becomes public embarassment, that is why guys are so shy.

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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ok so my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 3 months, and i was kind of wondering when things are supposed to go to you know, like the next level in a relationship? I mean, he knows that i am a virgin and don't have that much experience with guys, but how would i show him that i am ready you know? and how long do people usually wait once you're in a relationship?

Well, there is no normal time when people have sex in their relationships because everyone's realtionship is not the same nor timed on when they should have sex. It just happens when you KNOW the love is their and that you feel for that person strongly enough to do it. When you feel your ready, just do it, and NO ONE can tell you how to get prepared to do it, especially because your only a virgin. You should just go on with your relationship normally and when it happens it "happens" and you'll know where to take it from there. BELIEVE ME

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Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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my boyfriend lives a state away from me and i would like to send him flowers (corny i know) :) umm but exactly how would i do this from my state and i dont want it too cost too much either.

Your "best" and most convenient option is to order the flowers ONLINE and input his address into the delivery box, so something like a UPS truck will deliver the flowers for you.

Need more help?

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

Please leave me feedback on my answer thankyou :)

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I haven't had sex. But, I heard somewhere that one can get pregnant if having oral or fingering and the precum accidentally goes into the vagina.. (although i know it seems very unlikely..) but if the precum were on his hands and then he fingered you.. (maybe because he forgot to wash his hands before hand.. or you two were just in the moment) could that result in a pregnancy?

N/A

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What exactly is under age dating?

Okay, I actually know of someone who is under-age dating right now so this should help...

Under-age dating is specifically when one partner is over 18 and one partner is below the age of 18. Meaning that if your 13 and the guy your dating is 18, it's considered rape. Or if your 16 and your dating a 19 year old, that's under-age dating. Anyone who dates someone that is 4 years and older than them under 18 it is considered rape I believe. And if the police or any other officials find out about the relationship, your parents have the right to split you up and press charges against the partner that is older.

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

Please leave me feedback on my answer thankyou :)

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Hi, I'm hoping you can help me. & Not tell me to go talk to my school couslar or a professinal, my friends, or even my family. I won't do it.

I use to cut in 7th & 8th grade. (Wrists) I recently (about 5 months ago) cut on my leg because I couldn't take it. I told myself it's the last time I'd do it.

Well, I can't take it any longer. We're reading a book in English 2 where this kid cuts himself because of his life, Wanna know what I did when I had to read it? I cried. & I didn't read the rest.

I don't know who I can talk to without them telling my parents, or me going on 24/7 sucidide watch. I'm not that bad. I wanna talk to my favorite teacher, but I CAN'T.

What can I do to make myself not cut myself? I hate writing, running doesn't take my mind off anything, and I feel like my life is going down the drain. I never use to drink, I'm a huge drinker now, I think about smoking to cure my problems almost daily. & I even skip school now. Please, what do I do before I screw my life up?

I'll rate 5 if you answer asap, please.

Do you have a best friend to confide in or maybe even a boyfriend? I guess not, because you would've done so by now right?

Well let's see, I wouldn't want to go on suicidal watch or talk to my counselor either if I were you because they would just put your "cutting" business out there in public. That favorite teacher of yours though is a VERY good idea. You should really try and confide in that person and ask them to help you out. I would help you personally except for all I know I'm probably on the other side of the universe right now, but anyone whom you feel you can tell, you must! If you don't want to continue living your life the way you are now, "cutting" and all, than your best option right now is tell that teacher of yours.

If you need more help with this, or if you need more advice from me, please!

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

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15/f

me and my best friend have been friends for about 3 years. We pretty much do everything together and we normally always have a good time. we never even really fight. lately though she has been getting on my last nerve. she just does stupid annoying things all the time like we were at a sleepover with some people and we were all talking and she just started playing music on her phone and singing and it was really annoying. and she always tries to do things for attention and she is a downer. everytime we hang out with a group of people something is wrong with her, i can't stand it anymore. she like changed over the summer, and is more immature and gosh i don't know what to do. i mean if i lose her as a friend, i really wouldn't have anyone else besides my boyfriend because i don't have any other really close friends. i'm not the best at like getting close with people it takes me awhile [there really is no reason behind that its just the way i am]. i don't want to lose her as friend either though ahh. any advice at all on anything in this really long thing [sorry about that btw] would be great. thank s a ton!

You know what you need to do, you need to talk to her. Do not do this via e-mail, text message, phone, or any sorts of technological fashion. Confront her face to face and sit down with her where you two can be comfortable and have a nice long talk with her about how your feeling of how she's changed. I mean she is your best friend and all right? So there should be no problem of you holding anything back from her that your feeling. Simply ask her and explain to her how it's making you feel and how it's not only affecting her but also your social life.

E-Mail Me for more help: josephballard10@inbox.com
Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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15/f
So Im going out with this kid, hes awesome, and I know im ready to kiss him, and I want to make out with him but im afraid I wont know how to do it, Ive never made out with anyone before, and im kinda scared, he plans on making out on Thursday which is 3 days from now and I dont know how to get over this.

Seeing as how your only 15 I'm not sure if you want to learn how to french-kiss just yet, but maybe you should just take it nice and slow and do lip-kisses, their very easy to do and are the majority of techniques for kissing that teens do today, just plain lip-kissing is in right now.

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