iheartdrumersss's advice column

askiheartdrumersss

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: 14/f here.
ok here is the deal. one of my stepmoms employes has a really cute son. the problem is he is 16. we hang out in 4-h and when he comes over to my dads house, but thats just about it. i really like him too. i really want to go out with him. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

p.s. the kid i likes little brother is in my grade and we arent exactly friends... would it be weird if i started to date his older brother

Oooook.
Before you do anything you gotta get to know this guy! You know, you have to be able to talk to him and be comfortable around him before you lay down the moves! After you establish that, it's pretty much easy-goin the rest of the way. You can start flirtin with him, maybe exchange numbers, hang-out outside of 4-H, and BAM! Your goin out! Well unless he has a girlfriend or you don't click or something like that. But with the little brother situation, I really don't think it will be a big deal. If you do end up going out, you will be able to get to know his brother through him. And everybody will get comfortable with everybody. Let me know how it goes!
&hearts

Q: hay ok so i rly lie this guy. But ive only met him in personn once! But a couple of days ago we we talkin on the net and we really clicked. So we exchanged numbers. He seemed really into me on the internet. I like him and i want to hang out with him. So I dont know if i shold wait a while and see if he calls or if i should be brave and make the first move! HELP PLEASE!!

13/f
Love*

Well i definitly think YOU should make the first move. He gave you his number for a reason - so that you would call him! Plus most guys really have no balls when it comes to things like this. If you want things to go anywhere then do something about it! Give him a call, talk about whatever, go to the movies, go out, get married.
&hearts

Q: ok i like this girl and i find it werid because i never knew i was gay until this party but at the party she started to hit on my and i went along with it because i thought she was really cool but what i didn't know is that she had a girlfriend well later that night things happened and we both fault bad about her girlfriend so my heart broke a little but we deceide to keep this between her and i and obviously that didn't work because people found out some how. Then we started to hang out but everytime we hung out i started to like her more and more and she became to be on me more and more and everytime she would tell me that she's going to break up with her girlfriend but she doesn't and now i'm hurt inside because of all these lies i've tired everything from trying to ignore her to trying to talk it out with her nothing works ... what should i do ?

-From a broken hearted girl

You're girl is a PLAYER.
She wants to have her cake and eat it too!
In other words...
she wants to have you there to have fun with but she aslo wants her girlfriend to commit to.
So right now she has the upper hand in your relationship, because she can have either one of you.
I say you LEAVE HER. Because if she really, truly loved you more than that other girl, this wouldn't be an issue because she would had already left the other girl.
So forget her, move on, and find someone else who wants you, and ONLY you.
&hearts

Q: Hey, sorry if this is in the wrong category, but I wasn't sure what to put it in.
Well, to start things off, I'm very self conscious. I think I am fat & ugly & just not a cool person.
Last night, I was at the pool & I was wearing a bikini. There were two of my guy friends there & one of my girl friends. I started feeling really self-conscious & I sat on the step of the pool [still in the water] hugging my knees. My two guy friends asked my friend what was wrong with me, so she came over & talked to me. They found out that I thought that I was fat & started rambling on about how I wasn't fat & how if I was any skinnier that I'd be anorexic...etc. It helped a bit but I still feel so self-conscious.
Now, for the guys on this site, do ya'll think really confident girls are attractive? or the more humble quiet ones?
& How do i get to feeling better about myself? I hate being the party pooper when it comes to swimming & such. Anyone got any good advice?

I rate high for thought-out answers.

I know you kind-of asked for a guy to answer but I think girls are more experienced in this case.

You most of all have to, have to, HAVE TO stop putting yourself down like that! Nothing good at all comes out of it. And I'm definitly not trying to be rude but guys, and girls, really don't want to be around people that talk only about their flaws; "Debbie Downer."
Look at all of the positive things about you. If you went to a party, that means you have friends, so you're doing something right! But you really have to put it in perspective; all that time you put into putting yourself down you could have been working on a more positive you. If you feel like your out of shape and un-healthy than do something about it! Start dieting and excersizing. Excersize is good because it lets out hormones that make you feel good!
I really, really hoped I helped. So take my advice and let me know how it goes. Best of luck.
&hearts

Q: 13/f
well i used to masterbate but i dont anymore... i haven't started my period yet
could this of affeceted it? please help

nope.
it'll come
&hearts

Q: My hair is really dry REALLY dry. I don't have alot of money to afford on all those expesnive hair treatments. Any natural ways to help get it back to the way it used to be?

EGGS.
you get some eggs, scramble them together and rub them throughout your hair. then wash your hair out, and it leaves your hair shiny and smoothe. also, avoid blow-drying and straightening and what-not, if you do. leave-in conditioner spray also moisturizes.
&hearts

Q: Ever since we met, my boyfriend always had this thing about grabbing my upper arm to pull me closer to him when he wants to talk to me or something.

Sometimes it's like he isn't aware of his own strength or something because it'll hurt. And I always tell him not to do it because of that. He apologizes and tells me that he doesn't realize he does it that hard and says he'll try to stop.

Well, of course, he doesn't stop. He just did it last night and that time it left marks on my arms. I didn't even notice until my mom said something about it this morning and I had to sit that and explain to her why the guy I'm seeing left marks on my arm! NOT EASY.

I haven't showed him the marks yet but what should I say to him when I do? I mean, I know what to say but how do I make it clear to him that he NEEDS to STOP?

And by the way, he is in NO WAY abusive, if he came off that way. I'm 18/f -- He's 21/m

well like you said, he's not meaning to hurt you on purpose. i think that you should show him what he did. then you should try a tactict (i think thats the word.) everytime he grabs your arm, you pinch his cheek, or something like that. then reward him when he resists temptation! haha hope it helped.
&hearts

Q: my ipod nano screen is frozen.. what should i do?

oh yeah mine does that all the time.
just hook it up to your comp. and after like 15 minutes (or so) it un-freezes itself
&hearts

Q: I want to do my room over. I want it to be kinda funky/retro. People I need ideas of how to decorate my room! I'm 14 and female by the way. I will rate soo high if you give me items AND store names and even websites!!!!

im doin the exact same thing this summer.
a real "in" thing right now to do to your room is have very vibrant colored walls, then white furniture. it looks really mature and stylish. my room, for example, will have 2 shades of violet on my wall with a big white bed and desk. also things like bookshelves, mirrors, blown-up pictures, etc. nailed to the wall look really good.
www.pbteen.com
good ideas there
&hearts

Q: okay well i am on my highschool cheer team and i am a back in my stunt group. before we go to camp we must have an extension. You know all the way up. well our flyer is brand new never cheered let alone flown before. we have a real good double base with craddle and just got a push up (double base pushing up to extension -- some people call it different things) well camp is at the end of the month and like i said we need a straight up extension. ive tried every peice of advice i could give our flyer but is there anyother tips i could give her to get over her fear and get her up easier? thanks sooo much =]

tell her to keep her mind focused on one spot in the room and not to take her eyes off of it. you can also try telling her to imagine she's in a "box" yeah sounds totally pshyco but it has worked for our stunt girl before. oh, and give her lots of positive reinforcing.

Q: ok so i have been on and off with my boyfriend for about 2 months. He has dumped me 4 times and ive dumped him once and it's usually over a stupid fight and a day later he relizes what he's done and ask me to take him back, and i do. So it's summer and we dicided to keep in touch and stay togetasr. He recently got a myspace and is leaving all these girls picutres comments say damnn or cute pie, and gorgeous and stuff like that. I'll admit it i am jelous but should I be mad also. I dont want to confront him that would be way to awkward , i just dont no if i should be mad. Thankyou!

umm YEAH.
you should be mad because it seems like your guy is a PLAYA.
This is just me, but i think you should drop him. Because he has broken up and then gone back out with you so many times he probobly thinks, "oh no big deal if we break up she'll probobly just come back." And it definitly seems like he has the upper hand in this relationship.
Obviously, your upset about him flirtin with ohter girls online, or you wouldn't have said anything about it.
So my advice - drop him, go out with someone else.
its a win-win situation.

Q: i recently began shaving my bikini area. so im itchy, but there are no red marks. also now ive been discharging extra (i dont think that has anything to do with it, but maybe) and that only makes it more irritated down there.

why am i so itchy?

ew, ew, i hate this word but it might be a...
yeast infection.
simple fix.
go to the grocery store//walgreens//eckerds//whatever and they have certain creams that fix it. because you've been shaving it's been exposed to more...so get the stuff and get better.

Q: oh my gosh
ok the guy i liked is freinds with my brother
and they went in my room and found dirty underwear
(wich was this coverup stuff and lipgloss me and my freind were doing for a joke for my freind anthony) anyways
and they thought it was something else and they dont belive me
so now the guy i like thinks im disgusting
and doesnt like mean anymore..
should i just laugh about the whole thing and forget?
or stay sad and deppressed
what would you do?
PLEASE!
IM SAD
i rate 5s if you try!
thank you so much!

just laugh it off
if the guy you like see's you laughing at it he'll believe that it was a joke and nothing to be seriouse about. he might tease you about it, but atleast you have something to kid about.

Q: so i tend to buy everything!! like way too many colors for my wall (( im painting}} 2 colors each two walls different what colors look good im thinking hot pink && lime green

Two colors in the same room ((especially bright pastels like that)) can be really head-achey. I think you should do 2 shades of one color, like a hot pink and then a light pink, -alot less hard to look at- and if your worried about if the shades will match or not, normally at home depot they have little cards of different shades of colors that show you what matches with what.

Q: Ok, so recently I met this guy I'll call George. I was out with a few friends and we had a good time together. I had met George before that time, but I didn't really talk to him. When I did, George and I got along very well and I began to have feelings for him. The next day, I found that he liked me too. Then, the day after that, I found that my friend, Bob, likes me. Unfotunately, I do not have feelings for him other than those of friendship. I'd hate to hurt him and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions are welcome.

Dont do anything
if bob hasnt asked you out yet then keep on actin natural.
but if he does end up asking you out lay it down for him, don't throw him a bone and be like "i just don't want a boyfriend right now" because that will give him hope that in the future you will go out. so i think you should just chill out until he actually does something; or go out with George.i doubt he'll do anything then.

Q: does anyone have any good things i could talk about with my boyfriend...we're both shy so its always quiet! i rate high!
13/f

~thanks~

If you don't talk how did you end up going out together? Well that doesnt matter. talk about your day, what you like, sing a song -it'll start the talking, ask him why don't you talk at all, and just act cool. somethings bound to come up.

Q: I have red dots all over my skin (its not razor burn) I have them on my arms and legs mainly. I have tried many types of creams including olay quench (that has worked the best) and i use moisterizing body wash (I have also tried many brands of bady wash) The thing is whenever I use the cream my skin feels really soft and smooth but I still see red dots. I was wondering what i could do to make them go away.

Thanks in advance!

Maybe its all the cremes and lotions that are making your skin break out..
I say give not applying anything a whirl and see how it turns out. If you're still breakin out, see a dermotologist. they specialize in those types of things.

Q: Hi. I need help BAD. Well I got invited to my friends birthday party and I really want to go. Heres the catch, well me, my mom, my dad, and my moms friend are supposed to go down to the cape that weekend to help out with this bike-riding thing and the birthday party is from friday to saturday and we usuallu leave to go to the cape on friday evenings. I kept telling my mom that we could go down on saturday. She justwont listen and really really want to go to this party. What should I do?

I rate 5's!!!

There's always going to be a party. Go with your family and get a nice tan to show off when you get back. Or throw a party for coming back from the cape, whatever makes you happy :)

Q: ok i am 13 years old and my breast are a 38C! they hurt and they hang too. one of my breasts is bigger than the other and it is kind of noticeable. my mom said that when i turn 18 i can get a reduction because by the looks of it now they are going to keep growing. i dont want really small breast i want then to be big but not heavy like they are now. and right now they are triagular shaped insted of round. i want then to be round but not really small. i dont want anything less than a BIG B cup. but no bigger than DD cup. so do you think i should get a reduction when im older or keep them big?

Alriite well..

you definitly should wait. Boobs being different sizes isn't anything new. And by the sound of it your boobs are still growing. But if you start to think that they're getting too big, diet and excersize always reduces not only your breast size but the rest of your body as well. So I suggest not having anything surgically done until maybe after high school (when you're done growing.) And who knows, maybe by that time you'll be happy with them.

bio

Hey guys
&hearts &hearts &hearts
well what do i put in here...
I'm really getting tired of people making columns because all of their freinds have them and they just want to put a cute picture of themselves online of them kissing themselves in the mirror, or whatever. I'm really serious about this and, believe it or not, I try to give advice. That is, unless i get a dumb question. I've had around 3 or 4 accounts on here before, so I'd say im pretty experienced. :)
Yes, I'm only 14, but I have a more mature mind than people give me credit for. So ask me a question, I DARE YOU.
&hearts &hearts &hearts
::About Me::
I'm very into music, art, books, photography and drama.

My iPod is my world.

I Love...
Musicals
The Arts
Fashion
My Friends
Photography
Living in the moment

Current Quote Living By:
Never settle for less.

I'm always here
So leave me a question.