icey0990's

advice column

about

advice

heyy..i gave my ex a promise ring after 4 months we were dating...we dated for 9 months...we broke up 3 months ago...after we broke up she never wore the ring and we hardly spoke..now 3 months later were on better terms trying to work things out slowly...i asked her if she sold the ring or got rid of it and she said no and that shes actually wearing it...when i saw her this past saturday she had it on her right ring finger..ladies, what does that mean when a girl wears her promise ring on her right ring finger?

well you said she never wore it after the break up. now that its 3 months later and you are trying to work on things, its an excellent sign she is wearing it again. it means she still has the feelings for you and wants to work through whatever it is you guys need working on! so good luck, keep it going, and dont rush things too much. but her wearing the ring again definitely means things are getting better.

i know i wouldnt just randomly pick up a promise ring from an ex i never used to wear unless we were working on getting back together and i liked him so it looks like good news! :)

[view]

if you steal something from the abercrombie or hollister in the marketplace mall in rochester, NY do they have those stupid sirens tht go off? i know they have security tags but do they even have ink them? and will they set the sirens off?

NO SMARTASS ANSWERS SAYING IM POOR
SAVE YOUR BREATHE

ok heres the thing. if you see the tan circle thing on the otuside of the jeans that dont come off unless the associate takes them off at the counter, the alarm will sound. and on the inside of the jeans sometimes there is a tag saying "remove after purchase" this is another security tag. most people dont know this but there are still lots of clothes out there with no security tags. bar codes on a price sticker wont sound the alarm.

BUT take it from me, ive lived through the experience. i was a pretty huge shoplifter for 6 months and i took everything from nice perfumes, clothes,makeup,cds,dvds, shoes, video games,comp. games, even radar detector and the list goes on and on..(a group of 3 of us)but there came a day when i got caught and arrested. was released after being fingerprinted so i did not spend the night or anything, but had to go to court and paid a fine because i got caught with under 150 $ on me. it was embarassing to walk out of the mall in cuffs, i was ashamed of my parents knowing, and ppl talked in school about it/teachers knew it was bla.

just dont do it, ive been there and in the end it wasnt worth it. not to mention the store that caught us then "sued" us in a sense for $500. it was bad. *not to mention before getting arrested shoplifting was addicting to me. i couldnt stop...and if it wasnt for the dumb mistake one of my friends made to get us caught, i would still be doing it until i got arrested and probably would have faced a much bigger punishment**

[view]

heyy, i know this is long but please answer if you can. im so lost any suggestion would be amazing.

the first boy ive ever loved, kissed, gone out with, all of that is still in my head. we started daitng 3 years ago (wer both 14 now) and hes been in my head ever sense. i know he feels the same way and its scary because no matter how many times we break up we aways go back to eachother. it feels like we were destined to be together. and ithink we might be eventually. but...



whenever we have a relationship it gets so serous that im scared to even talk to him. if i do, we flirt nonstop, make all of these plans, and im scared where ittle leade. ive never been able to really get over him, i get butterflys just looking at him and i know he feels the same way. but i dont want to lose a high school experience by being with him, it hurts to talk to him because i feel it getting more serous and stronger by the minuite, but it hurts not to becayse i miss him so much. and i see him in shcool everyday and he just makes me laugh and hes never broken up with me i always break up with him because i feel myself getting too attached and i get scared and run away. i think i might really love him even though i know its not likely at this age. i know i love the way he makes me feel but icant let myself accept it. and he says he dosent want a relationship now but i know i could talk him into it but im not sure whats best. do you think theres a way i could really get over him? not talking to him isnt really an option, it would just be really awkward. hes in my classes so i have to see him everyday. i know i could try to get over him, but im not sure how to get over him for good. the second he looks at me or texts me all is lost and i fall for him again. please help


thanks SO much!

well. before you make the choice to really 'fully' get over him, do you want to? I mean if you really like him and you try this fully getting over him thing, would you regret it later? I just dont want you going through hell if he settles down with a girl and ends up dating her for a long time. So first be sure this is what you want.
You mentioned the "high school experience". by that im assuming hanging out with friends a lot, dating other people, and not being tied down. Well if you really want to get over him, start doing these things. Makke plans with friends often, go to the football games, go out in big groups, and maybe you will get to know a new guy and want to date him/get to know him better.
Im 19 now and my first serious bf was about 14 also. I still think to this day if he came back to my area (he moved far away) i would think of the old times and maybe develop some feelings in a sense. BUT i have a boyfriend of almost 3 years now..so there would definitely be nothing between us. It might just bring back some feelings. So you see, as time passes, and as new people come into your life, feelings for others and past relationships pains will fade. What im trying to say is, its natural for some feelings to remain, but they will definitely not be as intense down the road.
It soundsl ike you and your ex are pretty good friends. Stay good friends and if you find this "high school experience" is deinitely not working out for you, maybe you and this boy really are meant to have something serious.

So my main advice to recap is..go out with friends, try the dating scene because who knows you might meet someone else..and down the road if you still find yourself wanting your ex, dont deny those feelings!

well good luck i hope this helped hun!

[view]

My friend and I were totally psyched to get to go to homecoming this year, but now she doesn't want to go because no one's gunna ask her. She's still madly in love with her ex boyfriend, blahblahblah and she only wants to go with him. I really can't believe she's not going because she's not gunna go with her ex. She's ruining her teenage years by obsessing over this guy. How can I convince her to go and to have FUN?

just tell her how much fun it can be. all the girls can come over someones house and get ready, do hair, make up etc. you girls can go to the mall and look for dresses, plan an after party bonfire type thing, etc etc just tell her to come out and dance the night away! hopefully she will come around. let her know you want her to be in all the homecoming pictures to look back on !

[view]

so let me just say that im 16 years old and so is my boyfriend and im about 99.9% sure im pregnant im taking a test when i get paid in couple days but my boyfriend and i had sex when i was ovulating we were using a condom but he must have not put it on right because it broke and we didnt notice it until after he came .. anyways

i need to tell him and my parents, my mom will be upset a bit but she would get over it quickly and i know she would help me she already said if i every got in this situation she would and im not worried about telling my parents its my boyfriend im worried about he has this whole plan to go to college and graduate and start a business and if we had a baby together at 16 then thats going to change, his parents are the opposite of mine, they don't like me to much because i dont go to church.. and they told him if he got me pregnant he would have to drop out of school and it would ruin his life and i just feel bad my friends said its not all my fault but i just feel like it is and i dont want him to have to ruin his plan he has and ah im just so stuck what should i do or say??

well i dont agree to the person below me. i mean i think if you beleived in abortion you would take that path, you did not ask us about it. and as far as adoption, Witty is first of all wrong for claiming its "retardedly" easy for babies to find homes. there are so many kids "in the system" its sad. its a fine choice if you decide on it though. this is all up to you and your boyfriend.

well with that said. this wont be easy at all. there is no easy way saying it. obviously tell him first. and discuss ideas/options. we on this site cant boss you around and tell you what to do. this is up to you and your boyfriend.

things may be rough, but luckily it sounds like your mother will be there for you. after telling your boyfriend..both of you need to go talk to her and discuss options.

he can still continue high school and down the road who knows maybe when you two are 18 you will decide to attend community college to start the first two years while the baby goes to daycare. its not a bad option to get main courses out of the way. i know this is the last thing on your mind..but its an example that there are comprimises out there and together with your boyfriend you will talk about these options.

hang tight and good luck sweetie!

[view]

im 28 years old and i like to gamble but when i spend my moneymy mom gets mad at me for spending it. i realize i need to quit spending all of it but i dont know when to stop. can someone give me some advice on this it would be appreciated. thank you

well first understand you have a slight gambling addiction. you have to want to stop.
make a list of all the things you can do if you dont gamble it. do you spend 100 a week on gambling? whatever it is, think about what you can do with that money. put it in a savings account every week, pay the bills , credit cards, etc. do some shopping, etc etc.

when to stop spending. well it depends how much you make in a paycheck. lets say you get a 500 paycheck. how much would you make in a month? maybe 1,000? (assuming there are 2 paychecks per month)

well if rent is 700 a month * i dont know what your situation is, just examples**
and lets say you have a roomate so you pay 350.

so 350 rent
200 gas
100 savings account
100 food
100 for yourself
100 credit card bills/cell phone etc

see i dont know what bills you have or how much you make, these are all things you need to budget. budget yourself.

1- estimate how much you make per month.
2-make a list of your financial responsibilities and roughly estimate your monthly spending priorities.
3- then do the math and see how much money you have for yourself to spend on your personal interests.

good luck!

[view]

so i'm fourteen years old, my birthday is in december, i'm verrrry mature for my age. i know whats right from wrong, and stuff like that. i just got out of a relationship that was basically based on sexuall things like handjobs, blowjobs, fingering, and stuff. me and my ex boyfriend (16) would do stuff everyday we hung out. it was okay and stuff but idk it made me more mature. i am now in a relationship with a boy that has been my friend since late july ish? i have kinda liked him since late july, but he had a girlfriend till mid august, and i dated my ex boyfriend from late july to late august. anyways, my "new" boyfriend was basically my bestfriend, and i feel really comfortable with him. i kinda want to have sex with him i'm just scared, and i think it's too early, but i still want to. i'm just scared about what would happen, and if i went to the doctors or something they would ask me and i dont want to tell my mom, because i really dont have a good relationship with my mom. i am definatly scared that somehow if one of our parents found out what would happen because my mom and his mom are good friends. he is 16, turning 17 on october 25th. also, we are in a long distance relationship (live about an hour away) but we try to see eacother every weekend beause he has a camp where i do. i need advice about what i should do, and basically a lot of information about sex. :/

well you said it yourself, you want to but you are scared. wanting to are the hormones acting up at this age. there is plenty of time for sex down the road. at this young age, people date for a few months and move on, im not saying this will be your case, its just the statistics. you dont want to give up something so valuable that you cant get back do you? i dont want to see you getting hurt. and at your age, i would stay away from sex. stay away from it until you are settled down at an older age and in deep love!

wait until you are so ready your scared feelings disappear. and wait until you can take responsibility. sex is very emotional..especially for a virgin . wait for the special one. 14 is very very young in my opinion. dont become a statistic. so many young people say they wish they would have waited. virginity is taken away and when it is,, it never comes back again.

[view]

Okay so I got charged with Underage Possesion of Alcohol & Urinating in public.


What do you think the outcome will be!?
I have court tommrow & id like to be prepared for what might happen.

well if you have no prior records, you will be fine. i mean you wont go to jail. im definitely thinking your outcome will be probation and/or community service.

to ease your nerves a little..i know someone who broke and entered into a summer home, stole some things (not worth much money but still) and got community service and probation.
you may be assigned and court ordered to attend a drug and alcohol rehabilitation program that meets once a week for an hour. i know people who have gone through that.

it depends on the judge and if you have prior records or not. best of luck

[view]

Okay so, for starters thanks for helping me, and i know this is kind of a long drawn out thing, but please read all of it inorder to understand the complete situation.
Okay So i have two "best" friends, MC (girl), and TL(guy/cousin)
So me and TL have been bff's since we were little babies, and me and MC have been bff's for a few years too, and I guess at some point of having both of them as best friends, they also became bff's.

WELL the thing is MC like, likes TL, and she is constantly flirty getting his attention. AND he likes it he'll say stuff all the time to her like " i love you as my #1 bff, or your soooo funny, Your awsome" But he NEVER talks to me any more hardly, and neither does MC, they don't save me a seat, or if they do it's like diagnol from their seats, which are side by side.

AND it really makes me mad. I KNOW i'm jelous, but can you blame me! I don't want to confront them, because I think they'll be mad. Sometimes i think (IN MY HEAD NOT OUT LOUD)that they were both my friends FIRST bEFORE they were EVER best friends!!! If it wasn't for me well, they wouldn't be bff's. AND I KNOW that's wrong, but i can't get it out of my head!

WHAT DO I DO?!?!?! P.S I'm in 8th grade. (oh and i'm a girl if that means anything )

well, as a 19 yr old i am just one of many (pretty much all) who will tell you this is part of life. i have grown close with friends, and drifted apart from friends and its all part of life to put it simply. and ive been there..the frustration that you were friends with one before they met the other and then the two of them get all buddy buddy and leave out the other. its hard to accept and its frustrating. through life and especially high school, etc. you will make new friends and drift away from others. some approaches you can try...

1) invite one of them to sleep over (the girl probably lol) and spend one on one time with her.work on your bonding and whats funny is one fun sleepover/day at the mall could be the answer to this problem.

2) hang out with bothh of them. take lots of pictures, be spontaneous, funny, center of the spot light.

3) lay low and start talking with some other aquaintances. hang out with them and see if your two friends start to miss you and change their closed attitudes.

good luck i hope it works out

[view]

i was wondering do girls cum?
ive heard about it in movies but what happens so they do cum

well, some girls can "squirt" their cum like boys, but a lot dont and thats very normal. but a girl gets very wet down there when aroused , and if stimulated (fingered, has oral sex performed on her, or sex) she can orgasm/cum. so to answer your question..yes.

[view]

so i took plan b. Cause i had unprotected sex with my boyfriend. sooooo he came over my house and then like at 4 o clock in the morning we had sex (which means it was Saturday) and then i took it like 10 pm on Monday that means it was under 72 hours right?

but i did'nt throw up which was one of the symptoms does this mean that it did'nt work?

But i did feel kinda dizzy (but did'nt last long) and i had stomach pain for like a hour or two.

This is correct, you took it 40 hours after unprotected sex. They say the sooner you take it the better..however i think now they say it can be up to 5 days after unprotected sex..you definitely got in before the 72 hour mark which is good. not everyone has to feel the side affects of sick,dizzy,etc. I took it twice before and it worked, its not something i like to resort to but its sooo much better than chancing it!

[view]

I would like to get a head start on a vacation for spring break, any suggestions...no MTV Spring Blings or anything like that, it can be extreme fun like the spring bling but just no television shows or tv cast

Thankx ^_^

i recently went to mexico with some friends. about an hour south of cancun called the mayan riviera. i stayed at the barcelo palace. we traveled through jet blue and got airfare, 7 night stay, all you can eat and drink for 1,000 $ . we loved it! and it was a a great value too for the money..the resort is gorgeous!!!

[view]

okay so i'm going to try to get a job at starbucks and i'm going to this job fair thingy at starbucks in like 2 weeks. what do you think i need to know? and what do they ask you when you apply for a job? like is there an interview or something?

THANKS!!!

from what i hear, starbucks has its employees try allll of the coffee so you have a good knowledgeable background of the products and which ones you would recommend/etc.
http://www.teaandcoffee.net/0104/coffee.htm
that should help you out, along with googling "working at starbucks" they have some good articles there

[view]

i really want to do something to make my boyfriend wicked horny but something i can do in public lol please give me sometips that will make him so crazy horny :]]
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

hmm something in public.

-if you two are sitting next to each other rub his inner thigh and give him a cute sexy flirting look lol
-just dressing sexier than normal like maybe if hes told you how hot you look in a certain pair of jeans/shirt wear it
-kind of brush up against his lower private parts using your behind he will get an instant hard on! lol
-even tease him by talking sexy to him like saying "mm i cant wait to be alone later " and kind of wink at him
- im not sure where in public you are talking about but maybe sit on his lap, get a little flirtacious in a pool, have cleavage show, etc.

im sure you will have no0o problemo turning your guy on! have fun :)

[view]

okay well i have had my period for about 3 or 4 years now, and i have noticed patterns about it. like one time it will come the 23 day and the next it will come the 27 day. And like i usually bleed for 4 days then it stops for a few hours and comes back lighter the next two days. But this time it came on the 23rd day and i have stopped bleeding and it is only the fourth day. But it feels different this time. Im not cramping or anything. And i stopped bleeding yesterday. Could it be over?? I need to know someone elses opinion because i am going on a bus trip 3 hours away from here for school. We are going to competition and i dont want to have to worry about it.

what do you think?? i feel like its over but im not sure.
thanks

I think it could be over. We all have our different cycles. I would just keep an eye on it. Go to the bathroom and check up on it, wear a pad for the bus ride if possible. when you get to your destination just check up on it and if its all clear take the pad off. even if you arent completely done, it will only be little droplets of nothing and nobody will notice. in my opinion i think your fine thouggh

[view]

how can I turn on my boyfriend and tease him all at the same time?? I want to make him want me to do things to him like give him oral sex but I want him to want to do the same to me.

18/f

every guy has something they reeeeally think is hot on a girl. naturally, all guys would like all of these but every guy has his "favorite. your guy might love when you wear lacey underwear,thongs,tight tight pants,short shorts, mini skirt

or maybe he has no favorite so dress really sexy.
give him a lapdance and tease the heck out of him by not letting him touch until he cant take it anymore.
have fun!

[view]

Ok so heres the deal. I have a really good and easy job. Im basically a concierge at a resort. I get paid good money for doing almost nothing. There is only me and one other girl that have this job. The problem is that my boss is totally unfair and my coworker gets everything her way. For example, the past 2 weeks she has gotten a extra day off and i got none. I keep my mouth shut all the time but i just got hit with the last straw. We are changing our schedules for the summer time and it was supposed to go into effect on a saturday which would mean my coworker would be workin on friday. shes arguing and doesnt want to work friday. neither do i. but my boss gave her her way and shes now off friday and i have to work for her when its supposed to be my day off. i tried sayin its not fair but everyone expects me to be so easy going that it doesnt matter what i say. i still have to work. and it makes it more difficult because my boss is my girlfriends dad and i live with them. (by the way i am female too). im soo fed up at this point that if it were any other job i would quit but its too good of a job. how can i get them to take me seriously??? i really need some advice.

i know hhow this goes, at my one job my two bosses are buddy buddy and talk down to the rest of us, dont give us credit, and take whenever they want off.

my other job the managers gave other girls more hours, i was a waitress making good money, and i was stubborn and walked out because i couldnt take it anymore. i totally regret it because the money was good. i should have let it go or talked to them calmly.

so my advice from my mistakes is to talk to your boss. let him know ow you are feeling. he might now realize how unfair he is being. you dont seem to complain much. and she does,, so maybe he is just accomodating her requests because you dont speak up. so i would tell your boss you think its unfair, etc. and try to work out a comprimise. dont let your stuborness get the best of you and quit because i did that and regretted it becasuse i made good money.

i wish you luck..hopefully your boss is understanding

[view]

alrighty so i'm 15/f and i'm still a virgin, never had a bf and never fooled around before. so basicly i'm totally unexperienced. but it's not cause i'm ugly or something, in fact a couple of guys liked me but i'm probably the shyest person ever: i cant even look boys i like in the eye :/. so yeah nothing ever happened.
so all my friends and classmates already did stuff like fingering, blowjobs handjobs sex etc.
theyre also around 15 years old. i'm like a total outsider and i cant even imagin a guy seeing me without a top or anything. i'm just extremely shy as i said before. and i'm NEVER gonna make a move. the only guys i can talk to are ugly guys cause around them i dont feel nervous obviously. (sorry if this is a bit offencinve)
and also, is it normal that everyone is already doing this stuff at this age??? i feel so weird. i mean yeah i like imagining me doing that stuff as well, but i CANT in person. and yeahyeah i know its not all about physical stuff but i cant even TALK to a hot guy or a guy i really like.
is the behaviour of my friends normal at this age?
and is there something wrong with me?
and as i said it'S NOT my looks because i've been told i'm one of the prettiest girls in school. and i SERIOUSLY dont wanna brag or anything, i just want to give you the facts so i can get good answers :P
well thanks for reading. :) xxx

everyone sexually matures at different rates. tere is nothhhhhhing wron wit you trust me! its better to wait until you are comfortabl e and ready. there is notin worse than doin sometin sexually and wishing you waited. you are only 15! no worries..some people are ready to become sexually active at tat age, and some at tat age really need to slow down because a lot of people sexually active so youn g get into trouble emotionally a s well wit diseases. always stay true to your beleifs and comfort zones..never do anything just because ;everyone else is;;

[view]

I have been smoking cigarettes since I was 15, so I have been smoking for close to 10 years. I have quit in the past but for only up to 3 months at a time. I have a very addictive personality. i really really want to quit for the following reasons: so I can be around when my child is old, so my teeth don't turn nasty, wrinkles, and so I do not get a horrible cough whenever i am sick. I really truly enjoy smoking though for a number of reasons.(yes I know its gross) I just cannot get the mentality in my head to quit for real, and I will not try the patch or gum or any of that so please do not suggest it. Is there a way to make myself stronger? I feel I am a tad weak in many areas of my life.

i smoke as well and i have yet to quit for good. but i noticde some things thaT got me by and were actually working..

- i put my money in a jar, and it added up to be like 40 a week because i smoke a pack a day . just seeing te savings was awesome
-i also turned my addiction into lotto for a short time. not te best thing to spend 30 a week on loto but better tan cigs i think
-i looked up pictures of nastty lungs, people sick and dyin from smokin, people who had teir voicebox removed because of it and it motivated me
-gum. DRINK LOTS OF WATER, always hhad someting to munc on in care
-completely avoided people smoking
-exercise
-went on google and looked up quittin smoking messae boards and read peoples stories of how they quit

[view]

seems like everyone in this world can not just be with one person. they end up cheating. why are people like that?

i know there a re a lot of terrible people out there, but there are also good faithful couples as well. i think age,maturity, have a lot t o do with it. an 18 year old who isnt ready to settle down and wants to play the "field" covers a lot of the cheaters out there. there are plenty of couples deep in love who would never cheat though. if you;ve been cheated on keep your head up and leave the prick behind. dont forget there are still a lot of good people out there along with the terrible cheaters.

cheaters are selfish horny people who dont care about anyones feelings but their own and need their sexual needs satisfied. i know a couple friends who have never had a bf/gf they havent cheated on and its terrible..but watch they will always end up alone due to their cheating

[view]