della22's advice column | Page 3

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

Washington D.C, Maryland

Occupation:

Physical Trainer

Age:

24

Member Since:

July 29, 2009

Answers:

91

Last Update:

October 11, 2011

Visitors:

6502

Favorite Columnists

about

advice

15/f

Alright, so this boy I like was flirting with me in 2nd hour like crazy, and so I teased him and gave him a hug and all that, and he grabs my arm to keep me from giving hugs etc. etc. and my friend says "Quit flirting, you can do better than him."

Well I told my mom about it all and she says I gotta be careful or people will call me a slut. (I've not even had my first kiss yet though so that's impossible...)

So..... it's not like this happens everyday, the hugging thing I mean. So, am I still ok as long as this doesn't go on all the time or is my image already not very good?

haha thats ridiculous! your not a slut. believe me. hugging is normal. and your friend prob said that because shes jealous of the attention you were getting from this boy.
haha your just a young girl who is coming into her own, and is discovering guys. this is so normal. dont listen to your mom. she was being ridiculous and is probly a little scared that your growing up and starting to like boys.

i have a little bowl of my own that i usually smoke out of. ive also smoked outta bongs, cans, apples, vapes, ive made my own bongs out of water bottles, 2 liter soda bottles exct. i wanna try more intense things to smoke out of like grav bong or something i build, any ideas? and if you know how to build a grav bong please explain to me so i can try it out. thanks!!!

haha yes! i love weed questions.
but there is this new thing called the lung. its suppose to be nice. heres a diagram for it.
http://www.marijuana.com/homemade-paraphernalia/72304-nifty-smoking-apparatus.html

but i agree with the people under me. the kinda bud you use is most important, as well as how hard you draw, and how long you hold it. i have also noticed that the larger the thing your smoking out of, often the better.

also hot boxing usually fucks me up.

i like the grateful dead, janis joplin, jimmi hendrex, bob dylan, hot tuna, led zepplin, the who, eric clapton, the doors, and lots lots more but im having trouble finding more less known songs by these artist or other artists from this time period with the same style. if you know any good songs/ bands tell me please!

these are just some of my favortie songs by these artists... i dont really know what you would define as lesser known, so i just picked some that i thought were less known, but more importantly really good songs.

Greatful dead-casey jones
Janis joplin-piece of my heart
Jimmi hendrix- the wind crys mary, voodoo child
Led zeppelin- over the hills and far away, ramble on, dyer maker
The doors-the hitchhiker, people are strange
Rolling stones- gimmie shelter, house of the rising sun, paint it black
Pink floyd- wish you were here, comfortably numb
Eric clapton- tears in heaven
Taj Mahal- corrina
Tom Petty and the heartbreakers- america girl
The who- behind blue eyes, my generation
Creedence clearwater revival- bad moon rising, have you ever seen the rain
Iggy pop- night clubbing
Peter tosh- legalize it, till your well runs dry

i mean i hope these help. i mean theres so many great songs to these artists, so its hard to choose.

what do people smoke in a hookah pipe? i know you can smoke weed but what else??
THANKS!

the traditonal type of tobbaco to smoke out of a hookah is called Shisha. its a type of tobbaco that draws really really smooth. its almost like breathing in flavored air. its super calming.

heres a picture of some...theres tons of different flavors of it.
http://www.camelbar.co.uk/cdata/15055/img/15055_357910i.jpg

http://hookahbowl.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/hookah-hookah-guava-tobacco-450x337.jpg

14-f

am i a slut??????????
1. i get wasted
2. im no where near being a virgin
3. i have let people take advantage of me
4. i am either going to be a playboy bunny or a stripper somewhere....

do these make me a slut??????????? bacause everyone thinks i amm...and i kind of dont want them to

you should change some of those things. dont let your self get taken advantage of. you can change that. you can try not to get wasted as much, and you can set some goals that are better for yourself then being a stripper or nude model. dream a little bit bigger then that.
you cant change what you've done but learn from it.

and as for being considered a slut, who cares what people say about you. do what makes you happy, and all those petty little voices wont matter.

Well in school there is this guy. he is soo funny and all of the girls throw themselves at him. some say he's ugly but i don't. how do i get him to notice that im better than all of them?
I will give a 5 to the best answer.
thanks in advance!!
abbie x

this may sound cliche but honstsly be yourself. why would you want to date a guy that dosnt like you, the way you like yourself. you shouldnt have to change your apperance just to get him to like you. just hang around him, talk to him, show him your cool, confident, and layed back, low matience self. guys like girls who arnt into drama or really annoying.

we have a maid who has become a problem lately - my husband knows about it and he is at home on leave so I asked him to help me sort out the problems.

He has not said anything to the maid but asked her that if she was having a problem cleaning a certain window then she must say so so that he can find a solution

I freaked as this is totally irrelevant and he knows about the issues that I have with her- I have spoken to her and given her various methods of cleaning this window

I feel that he is not on my side and more concerned about being popular with her than how I feel when I told him he said I was being childish

Please help as I am really upset about this - I know it may sound petty but it is important to me How do I get him to understand or should I just accept that he is not loyal to me? he is quite clueless when it comes to relationships so I do think he should pay more attention - how do i get him to do this?

well from my expierences I would say this is a typical male.
women tend to draw conclusions from basic little things (i.e. you didnt take out the trash, so your not ready for responsiblity of a relationship) but men think in a totaly different way. he dosnt really see this whole ordeal as being an issue, and probly thinks your overreacting too. The average man honestly does not care about windows and how their being cleaned. they just dont. so i wouldnt go as far to say that this is a reflection of his disloyalty to you and your marriage. they just dont think the same as us women do. so expecting him to care about this as much as you do is really expecting to much of him.
As far as his relationship with the maid, he probly just dosnt want to be rude or mean to her, seeing that she may either be young, or foreign, or for whatever other reason there may be. Also he may just not want to get involved in this whole thing because he does see this as childish. and in that i agree a little bit.
this is sort of turning into a case of turning ant hills into mountains. meaning your making a big deal out of nothing.
if he wasnt supporting you in a bigger topic such as job, or finances, or your kids, or whatever, then i would be more concerned.
but for this situation i would really just let it rest. it would be stupid to fight over something so small. its not worth it. and majority of men are clueless when it comes to relationships, as sad as that is.

so as for getting him to pay more attention to your relationship, i would sit down and talk to him. a healthy relationship is about compromise and give and take. hes probly into different things. put in more effort doing things he might like, and i guareentee he will return the favor by doing things for you, that you may like.

and if the maid becomes more of a problem, fire her.

i hope this helped, and i wish you guys a long and happy marriage!

della.

how do i become a stripper

go to a strip club, and say "can i have a job?"
if your decent looking or at least have huge boobs, they'll proably offer you your dream job.

14/f
answer honestly.

Why would a boy stare and stare and stare and stare some more at you, and when you finally turn to look at him he smiles a bit, makes a funny face, and looks away? Then, he keeps glancing at you the rest the period. And, according to your friend, this happens alot?

he likes what he sees.
he may find you really attractive, or hes trying to figure you out.
or he may just be a freak with a starring problem.

ok...i am 15 and a freshmen in high school ive only had one real girlfriend...and i dont know how to really get another one lol i know a few girls that like me but i dont know how to find out fore sure so
my question is HOW DO I FIND OUT IF A GIRL LIKES ME?

just spend time with her and talk to her, and if she likes you, eventaully it will come out.

if you dont feel like waiting around for that, you could either just ask her flat out, or ask her friends.

I can't remember the black guys name in across the universe, but there was this one point in the movie where HE just plays the guitar- in the background of all these scenes playing.There's no words to the song (in the movie at least)- its a well known tune. The scenes playing are for example, when Jude goes back to London, and he gets a newspaper. Its near the end of the movie more, and I'm pretty sure its either before or after the song "Hey Jude" is played. I know its around that song. But this is just a tune, of the man playing the guitar. If any of you know what this song is I'll love you forever XD! haha, thank you all and have a splendid day!

the balck guys name is jojo. and the song your thinking of is while my guitar gently weeps. its a beatles song, as is all the songs in across the universe. but in the movie the song has words, and i dont know of any song in the movie that dosnt have words. but if that dosnt work for you, just look up the sound track. you can either get the beatles version of it or the movie version. it may not be an actual song, if its a tune, so you may not be able to get it. hope i helped. and i LOVE that movie and the beatles too.

does anyone have ay tips on how to stop my foundation goin shinny and blotchey ? thanks

well using a make up brush to apply foundation helps with the blotchy part. as for the shinny part, its probly because your skin is oily, so use an oil free moisturizer. and if that dosnt work, just use less foundation.

Hanging out with a guy I really like for the first time, VERY nervous...any advice on how to beat nerves, be confident and just have a good time? :(

yeah pretty much. just act cool and calm and confident and be yourself. really. dont be afraid to start up a convo. and no matter what, dont talk badly about other people or talk about drama. major turn off.

Okay so lately, well ever since I started my
periods I have been getting 2 a month. Both lasting for about, 3 to 4 days each. I'm scared because I read somewhere that they could mean that you can't have children.
Any advice?
Thanks.

go to a doctor or an obgyn, or call a health hotline, or take a pregnancy test. you may not like to do this, and it may be awkward, but its the only way to get a definate answer on whats wrong with you, and we cant give you that sort of truth.
good luck!

There is a huge grocery store where I shop and one of the kids who brings in baskets from the parking lot always gives me a contemptuous look. I walk with a limp and he is like that with people who are handicapped. I called about him last year and spoke with a district manager who assured me he would take care of the problem. When I called back, his attitude with me had changed and he acted like I was the culprit. I thought that was very odd. He said I had to face the kid and identify him face to face. I did not want to do that but I gave a complete description of him. A year later, he is still working there. What should I do?

well if i were you, i would just call the kid out to his face while your walking into the store. its so much easier to deal with the problem at its root. just ask him why he insits on starring at you like that. he will probly feel really awkward and stop. if not, then ignore him. not everyone is going to agree with you or be okay with you, as sad as that is. but it dosnt mean you have to let it ruin your day or affect you. all he technically doing is starring. that cant physically hurt you, so fuck the little teenage prick. haha. hope this helps and good luck!

I was babysitting my niece and nephew for my mom and my nephew tried to choke my niece so my niece pushed him off of her my nephew is 6 and my niece is 8 if that helps any.

how is this a question?

ok, our homecoming dance is coming up within the next couple of weeks and i've been trying to think of what to do with my hair and stuff with my dress.

sorry the picture quality's bad, it was with my phone: http://tinypic.com/r/53wmmh/4

but i'm an extremely pale girl, and i have auburnish hair. i was just going to wear some simple black flats with the dress, but i wasn't sure if maybe just a nice round toe pump would be better ( i've always been weird about my pale legs so i never thought heels would ever look right ). and speaking of the pale legs, i've also seen people wear black pantyhose with their dresses, good idea you think or no? and then what shoes with that is a question as well.

and then as for my hair. i just have sideswept bangs and i usually straighten it, but it's naturally wavy. i thought about going with wavy cause if i just straighten it it looks kind of weird with the outfit. and with the sideswept, if i did a ponytail it just looks kind of kiddish, in my opinion.

so just whatever opinions anyone wants to toss out, i'd appreciate, haha. sorry for all the questions but i've been talking with friends and people about this and they all gave me different opinions and it just made me more indecisive.

thats a really pretty dress. but i would defintaly not wear panty hoes with it. that would honestly look strange. i would go with black pumps. i think it would give the dress a more sophisticated and sexy look then black flats, which may look childish. dont worry about your pale skin, just work it. your coloring actually sounds really pretty.

i would do either a messy low bun like this,
http://media.onsugar.com/files/upl1/2/20652/38_2008/lc_3.larger.jpg

or like this...
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_tntL7SVBIe8/R-bKeMzRRMI/AAAAAAAAAnI/4Ul4AtpThu4/s400/r.jpg

or just go with wavy hair..
http://www.disnet1.org/images/p13/p71/p72/p13p7172proimages210950.jpg

and as for the make up i too would do a smokey brown eye.
http://bethbenderbeauty.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/beauty-blog-smoky-eye.jpg

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2639/3773395217_a70f29ddcd_b.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.abrilliantbrunette.com/2009/07/fotd-and-tutorial-gold-and-brown-smokey.html&usg=__h0fIrMtRH0uxei6UcPKpoVczF7A=&h=780&w=1024&sz=556&hl=en&start=13&um=1&tbnid=S78FZvBQKv-VdM:&tbnh=114&tbnw=150&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbrown%2Bsmoky%2Beyes%26hl%3Den%26um%3D1

and then i would just do a nude glossed lip
http://amominredhighheels.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/dramalips-261x300.jpg

http://amominredhighheels.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/dramalips-261x300.jpg

when ever you go smokey on the eyes, you want to go nude on the lips so its not to overwhelming.

i hope this helps and you have fun at your dance!

My friend said he saw track marks on his girlfriend's arm... What are track marks?

Thanks.

its from needles being injected into the arm. either shes doing heroin, crystal meth, or someother type of narcotic, your friends gf is into heavy drugs

16female

Am I too young to be giving my boyfriend a handjob or getting fingered? I mean we've been going out 2 months and we hooked up about a month before we went out...I feel almost scandalous when I do...I keep doubting my morals, there's a piece of me that wants to fight my hormones. Any personal experience or advice would help! Thank you!

do what makes you happy and feels good to you. if you love being with your boyfriend in this way, and love having a deeper connection, then that should be all that matters. if you feel pressured or not happy while your doing it, then stop. its as simple as that. theres a reason your hormones want you to do this, becasue its natural. its natural to want to do this as a young person. so like i said, do what makes you happy.
and make sure to always be safe in whatever your doing, and that you trust your boyfriend enough to be doing this.

I had the flu shot thursday, yesterday. And I was wondering, if the flu causes you to get sick how long does it usually take, because I'm starting to feel a little nauseated.

The actuall shot that you get for a flu shot, is the actuall flu. They inject you with the bacteria from the flu, so your white blood cells can fight it off and become immune to the virus. It is normal to get a little sick from it. Some people get very sick from it, but usually your body fights it off.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>