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MY HUSBAND IS NOT SUPPORTIVE
we have a maid who has become a problem lately - my husband knows about it and he is at home on leave so I asked him to help me sort out the problems.
He has not said anything to the maid but asked her that if she was having a problem cleaning a certain window then she must say so so that he can find a solution
I freaked as this is totally irrelevant and he knows about the issues that I have with her- I have spoken to her and given her various methods of cleaning this window
I feel that he is not on my side and more concerned about being popular with her than how I feel when I told him he said I was being childish
Please help as I am really upset about this - I know it may sound petty but it is important to me How do I get him to understand or should I just accept that he is not loyal to me? he is quite clueless when it comes to relationships so I do think he should pay more attention - how do i get him to do this?
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well from my expierences I would say this is a typical male.
women tend to draw conclusions from basic little things (i.e. you didnt take out the trash, so your not ready for responsiblity of a relationship) but men think in a totaly different way. he dosnt really see this whole ordeal as being an issue, and probly thinks your overreacting too. The average man honestly does not care about windows and how their being cleaned. they just dont. so i wouldnt go as far to say that this is a reflection of his disloyalty to you and your marriage. they just dont think the same as us women do. so expecting him to care about this as much as you do is really expecting to much of him.
As far as his relationship with the maid, he probly just dosnt want to be rude or mean to her, seeing that she may either be young, or foreign, or for whatever other reason there may be. Also he may just not want to get involved in this whole thing because he does see this as childish. and in that i agree a little bit.
this is sort of turning into a case of turning ant hills into mountains. meaning your making a big deal out of nothing.
if he wasnt supporting you in a bigger topic such as job, or finances, or your kids, or whatever, then i would be more concerned.
but for this situation i would really just let it rest. it would be stupid to fight over something so small. its not worth it. and majority of men are clueless when it comes to relationships, as sad as that is.
so as for getting him to pay more attention to your relationship, i would sit down and talk to him. a healthy relationship is about compromise and give and take. hes probly into different things. put in more effort doing things he might like, and i guareentee he will return the favor by doing things for you, that you may like.
and if the maid becomes more of a problem, fire her.
i hope this helped, and i wish you guys a long and happy marriage!
della.
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