about

I'm a qualified colour therapist and I'm doing a course in psychotherapy and councelling. i have the letters SNHS after my name which means i have a diploma from The School of Natual Health Sciences.
I have life experience in mental health, agoraphobia,bullying,parents divorce.


advice

15/f

in july i will be taking a plane to new orleans. ive only been on a plane once before when i was ten, and i was terrified.
recently there have been a lot of planes crashing and i just heard about a pilot dying on board.
im starting to really worry myself, and i was just wondering if there was anything i could do to chill myself out?
i worry way too much and this plane thing is seriously starting to stress me out majorly.
any advice?
thanks :)

I've never been on a plane but i do suffer terribly with anxiety and panic so i can give you some tips to help with that.

Before you go to the airport, have a nice long soak in the bath with some lavander oils or lavander aromatherapy bubble bath. It works a treat!

Deffinately buy some rescue remedy. I take 4 drops on my tonge and it eases panic, it recomends 4 but people do take more.
It's like a miracle in a bottle, all natural so no side effects and safe for any age and even safe for animals.

http://www.rescueremedy.com/

You can also buy rescue remedy pastilles, you could suck one instead of the sweet they give you to stop your ears popping.

Lavander roll on for your wrists also helps, i put some on and take the rescue remedy at the same time.

I also find something in your hands helps, i use aroma dough http://www.feelkarma.com/catalog/168
its just like though stress balls, or play dough except its got soothing oils in that release for you to breathe in as your squeezing and playing with it.

Take lots of distractions in your carry on bag. If you have/or can borrow a portable dvd player and some dvd's that would be really great. Mine goes everywhere with me.

If you are aloud mp3 on a plane then take one so you dont have to listen to the sounds around you for a bit of escapeism while your reading ect.

Puzzle books are essential for me to calm down because they are a good distraction to take your mind away from the panic so you do calm down.
I find childrens/teens ones are better because they are easier when your brain is all fizzled from the panic. And colourful ones seem more fun and calming than boring black and white books.

Magazines and books are essential too, i find myself reading the most boring stuff, concentrating on ever word just to stop the panic.

Make sure you have a drink of water with you at all times, it helps with the sickness feeling that panic bring.

The chances of being in a plane crash are 1 in 1MILLION and in 90% of those accidents passangers survive. Just incase you are still worried The BBC (very trusted) have some info on how to survive a plane crash

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/5402342.stm

Enjoy New Orleans xxxx

[view]

My parents got a divorce when I was 19. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal because I'm an adult, but it had a much bigger effect on my life than I could have imagined. It's been a little over 2 years now, and now they do not have any contact with each other what-so-ever. I have a good relationship with my mom, but not with my dad, although I try for his sake. My dilemma is that I don't know how to handle a lot of the situations I am going through without having a cohesive family. I got married without a wedding. I felt that I wouldn't be able to have one with how screwed up my family is. I have another milestone coming up: college graduation. I would like if some of my extended family could come, and my mom would probably like for me to have a family reception. This is another thing I feel like I can't have because I can't invite my dad's family, but at the same time it isn't right to exclude him or his family. I'm trying to get used to the idea that I'm going to have to sacrifice a lot of things that I used to think I would have. Does anyone have any advice for me?

I think it's really sad that you felt you couldnt have a big wedding because you didnt want to upset your family, very honerable of you but still a sad situation.
Your college graduation is again another huge event, this time Think of yourself, if you would like both sides of the family to be there then invite them. Warn your mum that your dad will be there and vice versa, and tell them that this is something you really want.

My mum and dad are divorced too, i've recently got engaged and were having an engagement party. I didnt want to invite my mum and dad because of how awkard it will be as they dont speak to eachother either, but it's my day, not theirs so they can just deal with it for a few hours.
I can't say they were happy about seeing eachother again but they know its something they will just have to do because i am their daughter< just as you are with your mum and dad.

Speak to them about it and tell them you are inviting both of them, they might have expected it anyway. If they aren't keen just tell them that its your day and you want both your mum and dad there, it isn;t an unreasonable request at all.

Good luck xxx

[view]

i stay with my babydaddy but we not together.he broke up with me on my birthday last year cause he though i was mad cause he work that day.which was sad cause that was not true.nut he was my first or everything including virginity.but i feel like he using me.lik if i say i won\'t give him money he would kick me out.and othe girls he talk to they don\'t give him money and he respect them more then me and im the mother of his chilld.he call me stupid slow.one day he love me the next he say he can\'t wait till i get out his life.then i found out he guve girls money.and im working hard giving him money and he don\'t help me out.he not even working.and when he go out of town i let him stay at my mom place.and he let gurls pick him up over there.and he tell me oh we ain;t together.i no we not together but y u doing that.and we have sex i give him a blow job.and i found out he having unprotected sex and he laugh and says we not togetther why u geeting mad for.i mean you my first that took my virginity why he doing this to me.its lik every time i stand up 4 myself he want to kick me out or something.please help me

I think deep down you know what to do, let him go. It hurts so bad because you love him but he doesn't feel the same way.

You are right to feel used, he's getting money from you and sex without having to comit.

Thats not what you want, no one would. You're in a horrible situation but you have the power the get out of it, get one over on him by letting go and moving on with your life.
No matter how hard that is to do, think how sweet that revenge will be when you cut off his sex and money supply, when he see's that you can make it on your own, that you don't need him, and when you eventually meet a nice guy who will take care of you and give you the respect you deserve.

In all honestly, get out of his life, cut all ties with him. Do not contact him, do not take his calls, do not give him money and do not give him sex!

Take care xxx

[view]

Is it true that if you dream that you die or that you hit bottom in a falling dream, you will in fact die in your sleep? I hear that a lot and I'm just not sure about it :/ how would you wake yourself up before you died then? help!!

It's an urban myth.

I've dreamt i've died alot in my dreams from falling and other ways (i must be strange ;-)) but i'm still here to tell the tale!

[view]

hey im 18/f and planning on moving out of my parents house and my boyfriend and I are going to get an apartment. we've been dating for about 6 months. I really do love him. but as june gets closer (which is when I plan to move out) my parents are supportive. but today I went through my head all the what-ifs. I started thinking that maybe my boyfriend isn't the one and maybe I should play the field and maybe this and that. he believes were going to be together for a really long time. I thought that to but now im doubting myself. is this normal to think this?

It's completely normal to have those kind of doubts, i went through the same thing when i moved out of home to live with my boyfriend of 7 months.
I even kept some things at my mums house incase we split up and i needed to move back in with her, but were still together 4 years later.

[view]

I'm 19/F and for the past few years, I have been showing signs of being a hypochondriac. Any little thing that goes wrong with me (headache, cut, stomachache, etc) I assume it's the beginning of or a symptom of something life threatening. I stay up all night scared I won't wake up the next morning! How can I get over this? I'm sick of making the small things big, but I'm also incredibly scared of catching a disease or dying. It's a huge, unrelenting fear that affects me every single day.

You have health anxiety, i've started to feel like this too, the only advice i would be able to suggest is join http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk it's for people with panic and anxiety, there's a section on the forum called Health Anxiety which has been a god send to me and many others.
If your scared you tell people your symptoms and how your feeling and then the others will give you advice and 9 times out of 10 there will be people who have the exact same symtptoms, it's a real comfort :-)

[view]

I am writing this on behalf of my boyfriend. He tells me that he has trouble sleeping after sex or masturbation. is that normal ?. He is a healthy guy with no sexual problems or anything. He is very athletic too. Is not on any kind of medication. he is 27. He has been having this problem only recently. But he has trouble sleeping at night in general and it gets even worse if he ejaculates!!. Any healthy advice is welcome. Thanks in advance.

I'm female and I know that after my partner and i have sex it can take me hours to fall asleep after.
I put it down to adreneline pumping round my body after all that...excitement.

[view]

Am I dislexic? I try to find my way out of reading and writing which i heard is a sign of being dislexic. Also I have to think sometimes what letter comes after or before another letter in the alphebet. Rarely, but sometimes I get certian letters confused. I dont really know what else I could tell you to help, but could you please tell me if I'm dislexic or even a little dislexic or not even close.

P.S. dont bug me if this is in the wrong catagory.

Personally it doesn;t sound like you are dyslexic.
You say you try to make excuses to get out of reading and writing, this is a sign of dyslexia but it depends on your reason for doing so, if it's just that you don't like reading and writing, or you can't be bothered or you are not sure why then this isn't dyslexia.

Dyslexia is where you try to read a page of writing but the words and letters seem to get jumbled up, jump around the page, appear to be backwards.

Other signs are; Poor Spelling, spelling words how they sound for example DUZ instead of DOES, not being able to write very much but have a large spoken vocabualary.

You also say you gave to think what letter comes next in the alphabet, i think we all do that, I know i do and i'm not dyslexic.


If you think you might be dyslexic then speak to a teacher, most schools (if not all) have tests to find out if someone is dyslexic, teachers usually pick up on the fact that a student is struggling and may have dyslexia but if you are concerned then deffinately speak to a teacher and they can give you a deffinate answer.

[view]

Errrr, this is kind of embarrasing.
So I thought I was gonna have diarrhea saturday, so I took this pill that controls it. Turns out, maybe I was wrong.
Well I haven't been able to go since then.
Like, not at all.
It's a horrible feeling.
I've been trying to drink lots of water and eat fruits and vegetables..but it's not helping.
I don't want to tell my mom and I sure as hell don't want to go to the doctor.
I found some milk of magnesia but it expired a few years ago.
What can I do?

If you haven't been to the loo in a week then you do need some medical advice, i know it's embarrassing but the doctors have seen and heard much worse.
If you are too afraid to tell your mum or go to the doctors yet then either ring NHS DIRECT (if you live in the UK) or ring your local doctors surgery or hospital for some advice, or nip to your local pharmasist. I have a fear of doctors so if ever i need medical advice i always go to the chemist first.
Chances are you won't need to go to the hospital or doctors, just take some medication to help you go to the loo again.

Please get some medical advice though because you do yourself some damage.

DON'T TAKE MEDICATION WITHOUT ASKING MEDICAL ADVICE FIRST AND ALWAYS READ THE LABEL!

Take care xxx


* Google may have told you what could make you go to the loo but sometimes a doctor is necessary to make sure that you are not going to do your body anymore harm and to find out what is causing you to feel like this.
You said you already tried a tablet and other foods and drinks and they are not helping, there's no point me telling you websites for food that you've already found.
I was telling you go seek medical advice whether it be a doctor, a chemist or a phone call for the sake of your health and so you don't make things any worse.

[view]

I like the look of these boots.

http://www.dracinabox.com/more/on/details/00785

Fluffy, suedette, platform, black, ties... But not the rabbit fur.
Can anyone tell me where I can find boots similar to these but er... more for vegetarians?


Also, I really like these:

http://www.dracinabox.com/more/on/details/00750

But I read reviews about this website and they're apparently not good at shipping out the items. Any ideas as to where I could get something like those?

I wear size 6 to 7 US.

There's some on this website, they go from size 6 - 14 and are really similar to the ones you like. (6th picture from the bottom)

http://www.heelsforyou.com/holiday2.htm

[view]

where do i go about finding out what brand this is/where to get it?

(not an imitation but the same exact)
shes at The Grove with her bf Justin Gaston on November 15, 2008

http://mileycyrusfever.com/Portals/39/Gallery/Album/4084/normal_004.jpg

Your best bet would have been MileyStyle http://www.mileystyle.net/style.php but that outfit isn't on there.
The website tells you where to buy her other outfits from though so it's worth a look.

[view]

I'm a girl in my early 20s.

I've suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life, but it really came to a head between 2006 and early 2008. I progressed from getting nervous in class, to being scared to go out, to being terrified of going to the grocery store across the road, to being unable to leave my house or even my room.

I failed out of school twice in this time. I lost contact with all but a small handful of my friends, and nearly lost even my family and my fiance. Fortunately, I was able to get through this alive after being hospitalized for several weeks. I took a year to get used to life and living again, and I'm feeling better than I ever have.

Here's my dilemma: I really want to start communicating with people from my past again. Thing is, most of them have no idea as to what was going on. I've tried talking to a couple of people, but they end up getting freaked out, or acting awkward.

If anybody here has similar experience in trying to rehabilitate socially after a serious battle with mental illness, I'd really appreciate your advice.

I'd just like to say well done for getting your life back on track again, i know from personal experience how much of a struggle it is.
Like you, i was was 17 when i became agoraphobic and suffered from serious depression, last year i got back in touch with my old best friend.
I was so worried about how she would react as she didn't understand what a hard time i was going through back then and i think she got freaked out too.

i found her email address after googling her name.

I'm justing looking at the origional email now, that first one was the most nerve wracking.
I started off by saying...

"I know it will probably be quite a shock to hear from me after all this time but writing to you is just something I felt I had to do"

Then went on to explain why we lost touch...

"We were best friends and I loved and cared about you so much, and I wasn’t avoiding you, or anyone one else for that matter, not intentionally anyway. I was scared, and I know it doesn’t make much sense, it didn’t to me either which Is why I couldn’t explain it at the time."

I didn;t expect a reply but i got one, and she was so relieved and happy to know i was alright again and we've kept in touch.

You can take some of my words or use my emails as a guide line...or copy it if you like :-)

Chakra xxx

[view]

what are the secret sexual things normally females would like to get it done? I am curious, want to give it as surprise! (it tough to know what women want)

Also, one of my fantasy is to smell, would it annoy her?

There are loads of fantasys that everyone dreams of, not just women. It depends on her personality, how long you've been together, if you trust eachother ect, but handcuffs are a nice way of spicing things up or blindfolding (or both), blindfolding her is a good way to start because everything you do to her would feel more intense, every touch, every kiss...

There's a scene in the movie 9 and a half weeks which is so sensual, the girlfriend is blindfolded, then her boyfriend uses dripping icecubes on her body, very gently around her breasts, then moving down her stomach. It's not seedy thoguh, its beautiful.

Outdoor sexual things are nice too because it feels really naughty and the thought of getting caught is a turn on for some people.
Full sex in a public place is illegal though but secret touches are great.

With my boyfriend we've sat on the bus and in the middle of town on a bench with a bag on my lap and his hands down there, its a turn on but again, it depends on the girl.

A lovely suprise would be to have rose petals sprinkled on the bed, and candles around the room, then make love to her. That would be so lovely.

I'm not too sure what you mean when you say one of your fantasys is smelling, but from the sounds of it, it might be too much for her and freak her out abit.

[view]

What is Jason's last name? I can't find it anywhere..

Jason wasn't given a last name because it wasn't mentioned in the movie. Damian didn't get one either.

The ones who did like Cady, Janice, Regina, ect were given sirnames because they had to be mentioned in the movie.

[view]

im 13, turning 14 on april 21, weigh about 173.

how do i lose weigh without excersing.
and will it look gross if i do lose weight without the exercising


i want to get skinny before swimsuit season or at least before my class and i go to seaworld in the summer

You won't lose weight without exercising.
You needed a balanced diet and exercise.

You don't have to go to the gym and wear tight lycra or anything like that.

You do sports at school so that would count as exercise aslong as your not one of those people who just stand on the sidelines and watch everyone else do the work.

Walking is exercise. you dont need walking boots, just have a brisk walk for about half an hour a day, even walking around town is exercise.

Run up and down your stairs in the house. Run around with your friends outside, be active.

As for a diet, like i said before it has to be balanced. Just eating veg or skipping meals won't do the trick at all because your body just stores up fat when you do eat because it doesnt know where it's next meal is coming from (personal experience)

This website will help you chose the right foods and lose weight in a healthy way

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/healthy_living/your_weight/active_loss.shtml

This one is especially for teens

http://kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/dieting/lose_weight_safely.html

[view]

Hey, I was wondering, what kind of electric razor do you use? And does it leave the shaved area smooth and hair free?

Thanks!

Hello, the razor I use is a Philishave 5806 (Made by Philips), it's a mans shaver.

You don't have to get the same brand but you need to buy one that has a hair/beard trimmer built into it.

You get as much hair off with the trimmer part of it, then you use the 3 round bits on the top (not sure the techinical name of them but they spin around and are used for stubble).
This then leaves you free of any stubble.

After that, get yourself a very cheap hair removal kit that comes with a Smoothing Cream, it's like a moisturuser that leaves you fresh smelling and smooth.

There may be a tiny bit of stubble left over but it's not noticlable because it is minute.

*There are female razors too but I prefer mens because they have the trimmer and the stubble removing bits all built in.

Hope that helps :-)

[view]

im only 13, but i think i need a bikini wax. how do i tell my mom and what method should i use?

Ok, waxing is very painful and i wouldn't recomend it, especially at your age.

An electic razor is easiest(not a disposable one, it won't do the trick). An electric one for women, your dad won;t appreciate you using his! :-)
You can pick them up cheap, it doesn;t have to be expensive.

Hair removal cream is another option, it's painless but messy and takes ages, especially if your starting from scratch as you are.
I used to use this method but got so bored of waiting around for it to work that i switched to the electric razor method, it's much faster and easier.

As for telling your mum, you could ask her to get you an electric razor and say it's for your legs if your not confident enough so tell her the other reason you want it.

Or the best thing would be to tell her you've been learning about femenin hygine at school and you've learnt that shaving that area is the best way to keep it clean and prevent infections at that time of the month (which is very true :-) )
so you'd like to start doing that, you only need to do it around once a month and it's harmless.

[view]



What is the estimated price for a wedding???


Thanks

It depends where you live, in the UK the average cost is £14,000 (i'm not sure what that is in Dollars but thats quite alot of money here, for me and my partner thats something we could never afford).

You can do it for alot less, there are alot of cost saving ideas, such as getting free samples and reduced price samples from wedding fayres.

Changing the venue from a chursh to a registary office or a cheapish stately home.

If you know someone can make dresses, you can buy material and have the bridesmaid dresses made to your design, only have 1 or 2 bridesmaids.

When me and my partner were working out a budget, we found we didnt need to buy a £1000 dress, there are beautiful ones for £200.

With suits you can get deal, we were quoted £300 for 5 suits which is brilliant and the lady said that if anyone quoted cheaper then she would match it.

The trick is to do lots of research and get lots of quotes.

[view]

i need the 411 on this seeeing im 13 and still do it because my friend makes me laugh, i dont entirely pee my pants but enough for people top see! so i could use some exersises that can prevent this happening in public even though i do a pretty good job hiding this.i can really use help!

It sounds like an issue with your pelvic floor, as someone already said, there are exercises to help with that. It can happen when people sneeze too.

Also, wear incontinence pads, i know it sounds embarrassing but no one would know, they are just like wearing sanutary pads for your period, but they're especially made for that problem (and more effective that sanutary pads), and also have something in them that cleanses and stops it from smelling.


[view]

How can you tell if someone like someone famous is real or not on a social networking site like myspace, facebook, etc. I know there are alot of posers and all but would love to know and thanks.

It's much easier to tell the fake celebrity pages. One huge give away is theyre photos. The fake ones ALWAYS use press pictures, pictures from magazines, red carpet events, other websites.

If you want to make sure they are real then they would have personal photos from their homelife, just everyday ones like you and i have.

Another thing although the photo thing covers it), but look at their "about me" be. Copy and paste the first line or two into google, if it comes up with another website then you know it's fake because the person who made the page has just copy and pasted the info from another site, where as if you were writing about your self you wouldn't do that.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker