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Parents Divorce
My parents got a divorce when I was 19. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal because I'm an adult, but it had a much bigger effect on my life than I could have imagined. It's been a little over 2 years now, and now they do not have any contact with each other what-so-ever. I have a good relationship with my mom, but not with my dad, although I try for his sake. My dilemma is that I don't know how to handle a lot of the situations I am going through without having a cohesive family. I got married without a wedding. I felt that I wouldn't be able to have one with how screwed up my family is. I have another milestone coming up: college graduation. I would like if some of my extended family could come, and my mom would probably like for me to have a family reception. This is another thing I feel like I can't have because I can't invite my dad's family, but at the same time it isn't right to exclude him or his family. I'm trying to get used to the idea that I'm going to have to sacrifice a lot of things that I used to think I would have. Does anyone have any advice for me?
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I think it's really sad that you felt you couldnt have a big wedding because you didnt want to upset your family, very honerable of you but still a sad situation.
Your college graduation is again another huge event, this time Think of yourself, if you would like both sides of the family to be there then invite them. Warn your mum that your dad will be there and vice versa, and tell them that this is something you really want.
My mum and dad are divorced too, i've recently got engaged and were having an engagement party. I didnt want to invite my mum and dad because of how awkard it will be as they dont speak to eachother either, but it's my day, not theirs so they can just deal with it for a few hours.
I can't say they were happy about seeing eachother again but they know its something they will just have to do because i am their daughter< just as you are with your mum and dad.
Speak to them about it and tell them you are inviting both of them, they might have expected it anyway. If they aren't keen just tell them that its your day and you want both your mum and dad there, it isn;t an unreasonable request at all.
Good luck xxx
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hey there sorry to hear about that divorces are never easy =(
and its even more harder when the parents dont even speak.
however despite this you should not have to feel like you have to sacrifice alot of things thats not fair to you at all,it wasnt your fault your parents split up and you shouldnt have to make alterations in your life to acomidate them.
im sure neither of them would want that to have you unhappy like that.
they probably dont even realise what their putting you through,that way you need to talk to your mom tell her exactly how you feel and the stress thats being put on you to keep people happy.
tell her you dont want to exclude your dad or his family from your graduation as you feel they have a right to attend, tell her you wish they could all be civilised for you,I mean they are grown adults surely they can put asside their feelings for you.
Im sure she would understand.
my cousins parents split when she was 7 both were my godparents too and there was alot of bad feelings between the two for a couple of years but they put it behind them for my cousins sake (and for mine because they were both my godparents i was very close to both and i often had the problem of who not to invite to family events although i know its not the same) but they got over it and they are honestly great friends now.
I hope the same can happen for your parents give it time explain to them how much you would love for them to get along or even try! surely thats the least they can do is try.
I hope everything works out for you and that I helped in anyway,
good luck =)
<3 Jess
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