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-Hey world I've been on here awhile now i just wanna say being on here has been great! im not a specailist but im here for anyone that needs someone to talk to. :) feel free to ask me anything and don't feel ashamed, im not here to judge.we all have daily battles,but it doesn't mean we have to face them alone.with that being said I look forward to meeting you ;)
Website: yahoo.com
E-mail: alexuslafayette@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: fortworth,tx
Occupation: to help anyone who is need of advice
Age: 19
AIM: @allove913
Yahoo: alexuslafayette@yahoo.com
Member Since: April 19, 2009
Answers: 130
Last Update: March 16, 2017
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Can a octor tell if you've ben fingered? (link)
Well..im not sure about fingering.but they do have doctors that specialize in women they are called Gynecologist and they can tell if you have been having sexual intercourse. (They can also noticed if you haven't.) But thats their job .they do these check ups usually around the age of 18 . They are gynecology and don't feel bad alot of women get this. It's to help keep you healthy


I'm dating a man who is somewhat wealthy, I'm not sure exactly how wealthy he is but he's in a financial class much higher than my own but I don't think he's like a millionaire.

He really wants to help me with my life and he really wants us to have a solid relationship where we see each other often.

I've grown from lower class (as a child) to middle class (as an adult working and handling my own bills) but it's still very hard sometimes to pay all the bills and because I had a rich best friend growing up I now have a taste for expensive things and sometimes I get really depressed that I can't afford them.

It would make a world of difference to live a better life with him and I think I'd really enjoy it but I don't want to rely on him and then have things not work out a few months later and not have anywhere to go.

He lives in a different town than I do about 4 hours away (there and back) and he would want me to come live with him. I mean I can always get a job down there but with the economy in America the way it is that might be difficult.

Currently I split an apartment in my town with two friends and I just got a new job but it's nothing amazing compared to what he might help me get in his town. With the job I just took I'm going to be working more than full time and might not even have time to see him and that scares me too because I don't want to lose him.

I'm scared to give up what I have here but then again I don't have much here. I have my own car which is a good 2012 hybrid. The apartment can be taken care of by my roommates. I don't have anything else so it's more just the fear of the unknown than anything.

Should I take a risk and agree to let him help me get on my feet in his much bigger city?





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It's always scary facing the unknown. But do you love each other? Being in a relationship should be about a partnership. I understand being independent but there's nothing wrong with getting help. If he is serious about the relationship (and so are you) he isn't helping you, he's loving you. There's nothing wrong with wanting better or the finer things at times. There's nothing wrong with moving aslong as its for the right reasons. Talk about it more with him. I don't know how long you stay when you visit,but maybe you can stay on your off days and see what it's like to live with him. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. I hope everything thing works out.


In my life I have never been what you would call normal. I have social quirks: I don't like looking people in their eyes, I move awkwardly, I take things literally, I talk to myself when I'm alone, I'm overtly sensitive, I don't understand all of the norms well and I perceive things differently. I have my issues, I get angry and I have known to tell or break things and hurt people's feelings. These outbreaks happen once a year. I have been perceived as a monster or a villain. Personally, I'm not innocent but I'm Christian as well and I've worked hard to control myself and not give up. I haven't killed anyone or anything unless you count insects and spiders. I haven't done anything that's taboo or horrible to people but over years I have given up to be normal and be happy. After one incident , in which I was perceived as bizarre and different I have become depressed and hopeless. I have lost a lot of things. I want to meet a psychiatrist but I'm not wealthy and I want it private. Is there anyone who can give me advice (link)
Im sorry to hear that you feel alone. Don't feel bad it's just "growing pains" it's hard at times growing up and figuring out who you are . Don't worry you'll find yourself. Being you is a beautiful thing. You just have to find things that you like doing to help deal with things. When I was younger I was very impulsive and angry. Now im not that way I think first and act second. I found hobbies. I like reading, writing, listening to music. These things helped me. At the times I felt alone. To me finding things you love to do is your own therapy and realizi that being different isn't always a bad thing. You are one of a kind, you should embrace that. Sometimes it's hard to accept/realize that but its true. I hope this has helped In some way.


Me and my husband weren't planning on having children, and this one just popped in on us even though we were using different types of contraceptives and he would pull out so we would be twice as safe.
We both live with his 3 sisters and his mother in a large city. Only two of his sisters have min.wage jobs, and I help out with almost all of my financial aid I get for going to school. He doesn't have a job and hasn't since he got laid off last year.
Having a baby right now would more than likely keep me from going to school, and I wanted to get the abortion pill,but all of my tests kept coming back negative for three months (tried 4 different times). Now he wants to keep it, and I do not seeing as we really can't afford it and his family drives me crazy most of the time.

I don't know what to do! (link)
Sometimes you could just be under a lot of stress that can Have similar symptoms to being pregnant. I understand the frustration in having a kid. But alot of people who have kids never thought of having kids Have them. Aswell if you did have a child maybe you could take online courses. Also Maybe talking more about the baby would motivate him to work maybe even to moving out of the house into a place you guys can call your own. I know everything isn't that simple. But I do think that through everything that this baby could be and I think it will be a good thing. I hope that you aren't so you won't have to make that choice. I hope that everything will work out for you. Things will get better


Very difficult situation here.

I have a boyfriend of two years. I love him so much, he is the world to me.
About two months ago I cheated on him, while very drunk. I kissed a boy I'm in college with. Not for long but it was still unacceptable. Then later on that night, I ran into a male friend of mine (who is 100% gay) and kissed him for about two seconds, in jest. Naturally I felt awful.
I told him about the first kiss straight away, because I thought it was important to. He was mad and we had a rough time but he said it was ok because I told him about it.
At the time, I did not think the kiss with the gay friend was important. it has since started to eat me alive. And I don't know if I should say anything or stay quiet/
I think honesty is very important but on the other hand I don't want to hurt him more, over something stupid. Also, I think it makes it look like I will continue to cheat on him when I know I will not. I feel horrific, and I know I'm not deserving of this guy, but I really need some help.

Thanks. (Im 20 by the way) (link)
Honestly, I feel the first kiss you mentioned was the most important. However if you didn't feel as guilty I would say let it slide. But it's hurting you and i think as much as it hurts tell him. If his love is real he will understand people make mistakes. I've been in the same boat and I know it's scary. But you'll feel better. Tell him exactly how you feel. Also just make a promise to yourself that you won't get drunk like that ever again. Because next time it could be worse. (I'm not saying you would let it go that far) I don't think that you're a bad person so just tell him and forgive yourself and (im sure he will too) love him and move past the issue. I hope it helps.


okay, so, Christmas is coming soon, and I don't have any idea what to give to my little brother. I can't afford to buy anything right now due certain circumstances. i know he really loves Pokemon, but I don't got any idea what to give to him. I was planning on just painting some related to Pokemon on a canvas... since its what I'm best at, and also get him something related to a Pokemon, but i don't know what.

someone please help me. !!! (link)
I understand that shopping around this time is hard,especially on a tight budget. I think use your talent to your advantage. Maybe make some home made pookemon cards or a poster with him in battle . It's a couple of sites I know that have sales for cool Shirts and pokemon hoodies for $5-$20 dollars .the site is called www.bustedtees.com they have alot of sales. Sometimes the have 20% off or buy one get one free. They also Have a site called www.shopjeen.com I saw they had a sweater for 20 and a pikachu beanie for 6 dollars. I know your brother is really gonna like the gift you give. I hope this helps


My girlfriend recently broke up with me. She said the way we communicate, and the way we think is different.

She is a lot more emotional than I am, and suffers from depression. Because of this she tries her very best to be optimistic about everything. She's a dreamer, I am not. I am a realist. I'm in my head a lot. This can sometimes upset her when we have long talks because she wants to remain positive even knowing there is so much negative going on.
I told her that often times these two types of people end up with/need each other. The realist to keep the dreamer grounded and the the dreamer to get the realist off the ground sometimes.


Then there is the communication aspect. She claims I'm dismissive, and I agree, sometimes I am. But to be fair, sometimes she will talk about something I generally don't have much of a reaction to. Other times I just have so much to say that I will dismiss what she said, and say what I have to say. Which is not okay, but sometimes hard to control. (Ever since kindergarten I've had troubles raising my hand before speaking)

I really want her back. I know things can't go back to normal right away but am I crazy to think that there is a possibility? She kept mentioning that maybe for right now we're not good for each other; imply that there is a chance that someday we will be.
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I understand that ,because I have dealt with that in my relationship, even tho my relationship still needs work we are working at getting better and it has. Ill give you the advice I gave my boyfriend. First there's nothing wrong with having an opinion. But also remember you are in a relationship. You have to think about her feelings aswell as your own. Listen ,listen to her. Relationships can be confusing but im sure everything she does is the key to understanding her. Also it is in the way you say things that can be hurtful,aswell as what's being said. Because sometimes paying attention to one thing she says could make her whole day. Her always seeing the brighter side is her way of supporting you and trying to motivate you to better days. I read you mention she suffers depression so her cheerful ness that she always shows may not just be to keep you from rainy days,but from herself aswell. I hope this helped in some kinda of way.also remember to not be impulsive, but take your time and speak with your heart. I hoped everything works out


My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. I am almost 18 and he is 19 years old. We are hanging out this weekend but we are short on money and getting really bored of the usual "just hanging out" cuddling\eating and cooking\talking etc. Does anyone have any ideas of something fun we could do at home? Any ideas would be great, we are up for anything! besides movies though lol (link)
Well the most important thing is always making it count when you guys are together. I see that you guys probably are doing that you just want something new. Idk if you guys are long distance or living in the same town. But maybe have a certain theme for the night. (Maybe it's cheesy but a game night,they have a lot of apps for couples or just fun apps you guys can play together.) Or maybe if you live by a park,plan a picnic. Or around this time a year (depending on where you live) they have free things you can do..like most places that have parades can be free but they usually are far out.. The possibilities are endless.overall just talk to eachother about things you can try together. I hope that this helps in some way


I feel scared to ask my parents for a snapchat facebook Kris even an instagram because of how over protective they are what should I do (link)
I think that you should be honest, that you should tell them that you want one to talk to friends on. Sushi on instagram and Facebook they have a lot of blocks and censors to put on your account to prevent offensive or inappropriate things to pop up on your timeline. They also have that on twitter. If that doesn't work ask them to make one with you that way they can see what you are doing but it may again also give them a chance to like it too. I hope this helped.


Hi solidadvice4teens, I am not looking to start a fight. I am not a person who likes arguing. However, after reading your reply to my post I will not keep my thoughts about it to myself. Again, I am not replying to insult you in any way. With that in mind, first of all, let me tell you that in the past I have suggested to my current psychiatrist that she wean me off meds. She said exactly what you said. Was she right? Yes, for the most part yes. Adding onto that, at the beginning of your response you stated that you agreed with adviceman49. Saying that you are both right whether I like it or not. You both are PARTIALLY correct I say partially because you both assumed I was feeling mentally stable while on meds. There is a reason why I suggested to my psychiatrist that she wean me off meds. All those years I had been on them I never felt they truly helped me as much as they sedated me and I have been on loads of different cocktails of drugs. They have all been the same. They all dumb me down tremendously. Psychiatrists have tried prescribing me a smaller dose, changing the medicine altogether to a more "effective/modern" drug but the fact that I was drugged out, to the point of not knowing what I was really doing, on antipsychotics has never changed. Abilify was the last drug I was on and I do admit it was the most helpful one. Not 100% or even 80% either.(As my psychiatrist says the pill is the miracle worker, it does 80% of the work and you only have to do 20% of it). I was on it for four years and it was never the miracle worker my psychiatrist said it would be. Now, you also suggested I visit an emergency room. Why would I go to such an extreme? Doing that would surely result in me getting a 51/50. I have a tight work schedule, if I am gone for even 1 day without notice I would surely lose my job and if I told my employer to let me off the hook because I was in a mental hospital he would surely not sympathize. Not to mention how intense it would become at home with my own family members giving me looks of disapproval and disappointment or even amusement because of my mental "weakness". Adding on to that I was hospitalized when I was about twenty one twice in the time span of one month. I must say the psychiatrist there was horrible, HORRIBLE and the employee's were awful as well. They either hated their jobs or loved their jobs because the patient's crazy behavior entertained them. This is no lie, I got a rash on my face while I was hospitalized because a negligent nurse didn't tell me how to properly use a prescription acne face wash. Yet another thing that sparks my curiosity about what the psychiatry and drug industries true intentions are. Why would they give me a prescription for my acne when that has nothing to do with my mental health. Also, because I was put on so many drugs that had potential increased appetite/weight gain listed as side effects I was eating A LOT. I gained twenty pounds in ONE WEEK. That is ridiculously fast weight gain. They had no problem with serving me three meals in one sitting. That was extremely hazardous to my health. The way everything played out while I was there steers me into believing they were milking my health insurance for all it was worth. In conclusion, adviceman49 suggested I keep a note on my fridge to remind myself that I feel okay because of medications. If you took your time to read this which, I know, ended up being really long you now know that was never the case and also never will be. If I have managed to stay even slightly productive it has mostly been because of my own will. As a teenager I honestly thought they were helping me but I realize now that some of the craziest and most destructive things I have done in my life were done when I was on meds. I completely agree that my mind isn't average. Possibly even inferior and defective but one thing I don't agree with is psychiatry's approach to people like me. My last words may be shocking and insulting to either one or both of you: I am back on my meds. After all these years of being on if go off them my mind becomes too much to handle. It is bad when I am on them but worse when I am not. I hate being overly sedated. Most people see right through it and view me as slow and mentally impaired and I have never in my right mind told anyone other than family and psychiatrist's about my diagnosis. If anything those drugs that you refer to as meds. have done nothing good but turn me into their slave. I know 100% deep down that if the first psychologist I saw didn't order me to take drugs and would have stuck to therapies and counseling my situation in the long run would have been much better. I am not stating everything that has to do with psychiatry is bad but MOST psychiatrist's are and the pharmaceutical industry most definitely is. (link)
I am sorry for everything that you had to go through while taking your meds. I hate that you had issues with finding one that made you comfortable. However I do agree with you,some doctor's aren't bad but on the other hand there are people in the field who are more concerned with the well being of their checks, than the people that they are paid to help. I really appreciate you replying back. I didn't take it as an insult but more of an "eye opener". Giving advice is not always easy because we only know as much as we are told.but I am again sorry the way you were treated. The most important thing is finding a alternative that benefits you and makes you feel able to live and function comfortability. You mention in your response you think that you would've been better off if you had stuck to more therapies and counseling. I think that maybe you should try looking at a different therapist(s) that will work with you in meeting those needs.in the long run I hope that everything works out for you. Thanks again for your response.


I sent a few nudes to a guy I met online and he's sent me money in return for them and now he's blackmailing me saying if I don't send him something else then he'll post all my pics on the internet.. Is there anything I can do to stop him? Can the police do anything? (link)
Honestly this is really a tough place to be in.. but I believe it would hard to report this, simply because most people would consider sending nudes to be apart of "sexting" and in most places it isn't legal. And being the fact that he paid you for them, makes it that much difficult Because the cops might look at him giving money as some type of agreement or exchange for them. My question(s) is because he gave you money, that's why you took the nudes ?how old are you? If you are under age and he is in fact older than you, then in this case he can get reported because if you are underage ( not legal) then in this case he could get arrested for several things.(laws vary from different states) Also is there anyway that you can prove that the "nudes " are you (by a birth mark, tattoo , scar, or are you showing your face ) if there's no way he can prove its you. I think it would be best to delete every contact that he has from you. Also I would put a restraining order out (because he may know your address) also please be careful next time talking to his online and be careful of who or what you put online. I hope everything works out and that I've helped in some way. Be safe!


I'm going into 6th grade September 4th and every other day we have gym, so I'll survive with 3 sweat pants. My mom bought 2, one is plain black wich will be fine, another one has fierce in flashy pink across the top. Hopefully no one will notice and we won't have to tuck in our shirts. Or it'll come off in the wash. And the only sweat pant I wouldn't die of embarrassment wearing isn't exactly gonna blend in, the top of it is pink an black cheeta print with some sparkles, and if that isn't bad enough, there's a big peace sign with pink outlines and silver sparkles. Also it just HAS to say justice under it not that big but still. It worked for 5th grade but I doubt it'll work for middle school. How can I fix this? (link)
Simply just tell your mom , that you want plain sweat pants. Im sure she'll understand. If that doesn't work trade with a friend thats the same size as you . I hope you find the sweats pants you need.


I am 16 I have known my mom has been selling prescription pain killers for sometime now. She says she is doing it for me but she seems to be doing it more for herself when she just bought herself a new car. I'm between a rock and a hard place reporting it though because my mom currently has cancer and found out I was planning on reporting her for it, she said go for it but its her word against mine and she says I have no evidence against her. Well she showed me where she hides them, I know where she goes to get them every month and the first name of the person she sells them too. So I need to know how should I word it to report it. If I should tell the DEA or crimestoppers or who. And what will happen to me and my dad since we have known about it for sometime, what will happen to my dad because I dont wanna live with him either, and if I can go live with my brother then since he's willing to take me in or if CPS will put me into a group home or foster home. (link)
Honestly it isn't right(that she sells) but Maybe she just wants to make sure you are taken care of (after she passes or if she passes) as far as the car goes..she is sick and may feel she doesn't have long.. she possibly bought the car to have fun and maybe do Something she always had or wanted to do. I honestly don't think you shouldnt report your mother. She loves you and is possibly doing this because she feels this may be her only option. Talk to your mother about.not saying that it's wrong but simply saying how it affects you. I hope this helps.


hey everyone!
so i have a 21 year old boyfriend & im 19. but it seems like no matter how much i wash my vagina it still seems to smell!! any suggestions?? also my butt seems to smell as well. i know this sounds weird & awkward. im sorry guys haha. & yes i take showers & wash as many times as i can. with a bar of soap (wash it 3 times in the shower) and then sometimes body wash after. thinking maybe it might make it smell better.

please help! ahhhh!

thanks! (link)
It is most likely your ph balance (It could be something else but that is what it sounds like. They have alot of soaps that adjust this problem also they have feminine wipes to help with this also(.some are higher than others and they even have dollar soap) I hope this helps.


I'm 20 and I broke up with my first love a year ago. I loved him with every fibre in my being and did literally everything for him, even if it went against my morals. I spent all the money I had on getting him expensive gifts and I stuck with him, even when he couldn't care less about me. When we broke up because of the fact that he didn't wanna deal with commitment, at this stage in his life, he wasn't upset, not even for a day. It's been over a year and I've been the only one carrying all this pain and I've been holding so much hope that we could get back together, someday. We still see each other and he kisses me and that's what gave me hope that he still likes me. But last night, he told me that he'd never even think of marrying someone like me and that he needs a submissive kind of girl who doesn't pick up on the wrong things he does, like I did.I always picked up on all his lies and everything he hid from me. It hit me all at once, last night that he's been using me this past year and using my vulnerability. I cried in front of him for two hours straight and he kept saying the same things like "You're not my first love so I can't hold that much love for you" and "I told you I didn't want a relationship" "My first made me lose all my emotions" . I don't know why I'm so attached to him or why I'm even this devastated over a jerk like him. I just need someone to talk some sense into me. I worry, that I'll never be good enough for someone. What else can I do for someone to make them appreciate me? I allowed him to cross so many limits of mine and went above and beyond for him, and I get this, in return. How will I expect the next guy in my life to appreciate what I'll do for him and not break my heart again? (link)
Im sorry I took awhile to answer. First I wanna say the worst feeling In being in love is to feel that you've gave your all and nothing is given in return. Im sorry that he hurt you , and made you feel what he shouldn't have made you felt. But the best advice from being in the same position you are in is being able to love YOU .it sounds "cliché" but its true ,often times people will enter our lives and make us feel something we never felt by ourselves. That's why we can't let go.but you gotta find the beauty in yourself. Its hard but you have to take it one day at a time. And once you unleash that inner beauty and confidence. It'll help you move on and it'll help build up walls that only the person that was meant to love you and climb over. Also never be afraid to love. Don't feel stupid about loving someone. If anyone should feel stupid its him. He doesn't deserve your love. Love him and yourself to move on and find someone who will give there all to you. I hope I helped. Don't ever lose hope in finding love.


Dear Vikki

I'm 24 and from South Africa. I have been in a relationship for almost 7 months now and before that we were only friends. I love him a lot and care about him a lot, but at times I feel that my insecurities gets in the way and it ends up in us having an argument about something small and stupid. See we have a long distance relationship at the moment and it is mostly when he cannot have decent conversation at night because his busy and then I start thinking "maybe he doesn't want to talk to me" , "maybe he doesn't find me interesting anymore and he will leave me for someone else" and I do know that he cares for me a lot and that he loves me and as soon as I think I have these feelings under control, it creeps in again. I don't want to lose him, because I was insecure and clingy. I never was like this in the beginning. I was cheated on before and most of the times it is when I'm away from him, when we are together, I don't have it and because of this it makes things hard for me. I care about people real fast and they can actually hurt me with words. How do I get past this? How can I get past my insecurities and not be clingy when I feel like these emotions are creeping in? I'm not jealous when it comes to being his girlfriends, because I know what type of guy he is. I know he will never cheat on me, but because I don't always see myself as beautiful, I'm sometimes afraid he will leave me for someone more beautiful than me. The guy that cheated on me used to say to me, that I shouldn't think that someone can love me, because there feelings will change. I was so deeply hurt.

Is there any advice you can give me? Guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to that I don't know personally!

Thanks!
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Sorry for the late reply. But first I wanna say that I understand the struggle of being in a long distance Relationship, its hard being away from eachother if you don't talk you feel something is wrong... I do this too , but what helps is knowing that he makes time for me.my fiancé is a driver so the time we have is always changing but just knowing our relationship gives me comfort, if your man shows you he loves you embrace it, and use that as your warmth on those cold nights you can't talk. Also missing your boyfriend when you can't speak or wondering if he is thinking about you isn't being clingy its being in love. It's healthy to share how you feel with him. That's what me and my boyfriend do and sometimes he thinks the same way that I feel. Also my advice for feeling that at times you aren't good enough my friend you are beautiful! Look in the mirror and learn to love what you see, you gotta learn to love yourself before you truely can enjoy being loved by someone else.im sorry for the guy who said those hurtful things but he lost a great lady, people sometimes don't know when they have a good thing until it is gone. I hope I've helped in some way.remember you are beautiful.


ok, so thats me, the one with the girl hating my guts. I couldnt log into my account, so i had to reset amd i just used a quick account, but, the girl (L) will crumple up my notes when i send them to her, and shes been pissed now for about 4 months. And is anerexsia really that serious? She needs professional help? :0 (link)
I'm sorry that I've replied back late. Yes anorexia is very serious it can infact be deadly. The best advice is to just support her and listen to her. Everyone who deals with anorexia has their own story behind why they are that way.. but yes I would say she should go to counseling to help her with her condition. But situations in this manner should be handled delicately... Because telling her she needs help my be a challenge because she my feel she doesn't need it most people who need help don't want it.i wish you well on patching up your friendship and getting her the help she needs


You answered my question about making a job change recently. After initially accepting the offer, I recanted and turned it down. Later that day the HR Manager left me a voicemail stating management really liked me and wanted to sweeten the offer. I called this morning. Instead of making an offer, she asked me what it would take to get me to come. I gave her a number that was 6% more than what Iwas offered, but still well within the stated salary range. She later sent an email saying she gave the proposal to management and that they were going to pursue other candidates. They didn't even make a counter offer, and said they really didn't think I wanted the job. I thought it was bizarre. (link)
Im glad that you got the job offer, I think at the thought of them instantly accepting your offer to me shows that they really wanted you and that you were over qualified and the best they've seen. And maybe they said that they thought you wouldn't want the job is at the fact that they can't believe that they got someone as talented as you! Good luck and I wish you well on your new job and the beginning to your new journey!


Someone is blackmailing on kik. I sent him nude photo of mine, he want me to send again if I will not he said that he will post it online website wherein all country can see it. I dont know what to do. He said that he will spread it and all my friends can see it. Im afraid Im fron Hungary. Need help (link)
Im sorry about what happened but that's a very hard position to be in.. do you believe that he will actually do that? Maybe he is just saying that to scare you act like you don't care don't respond to him . It may be hard but don't respond to anything he says. I hope everything works out .im sorry that you met him.


Its been almost 3 years and they have had there good times and bad times but today i didnt talk to her because I didnt want to fight and when we spoke she kept fighting with me... I feel like dying because she is my life and i am so stressed out, what should I do? (link)
Sometimes it's hard to love, sometimes it's even harder to let go.. tell her what you feel inside. Tell her you're sorry (even if you think your right) tell her you just want to stop fighting . it's obvious that your love for her is stronger and more important than the fight. I hope you guys can work it out :)




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