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June 26, 2005Answers:
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August 1, 2005Visitors:
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about
Hi. I am a 31 year old life coach and professional writer and the mother of a beautiful 6 year old little boy. I believe in the kids and teens out there today and I want to be of service in any way I can. I know what it's like to be young and not want to talk to parents about problems. I specialize in relationships of all kinds and parenting. I also am very well versed in health and beauty. I will always respond with sincerity and to the best of my ability. I will always be honest, even if that means I may tell you something you don't want to hear but need to. I am all about inspiring the best from people I come in contact with so that's the approach I take with everyone.
advice
I'm not sure why, but latley I haven't been so happy lately. I mean I'm so sick of being me. I don't like my hair, im not as pretty as Miss popular. I dont dress as great as them and I've been alone alot latley cause none of my friends have been invitin me over anymore. I've been on a no sode low sugar diet and I lost my baby fat (im 13 and i weigh 105 lbs) so im noT like fat or anything but I somehow got off my diet and I just feel soo crappy I havent gotten back on. I hate me right now, what should I do?
Well gosh! I think we all go through periods of being unhappy to a certain extent. Your friends probably feel the energy you are giving off and that's why you're not getting invited because it's not fun to be with someone who is down on themselves. Now, there is hope. I have a little exercise for you. Every day, find 1 thing you like about yourself. Com'on - you can find one (probably more). Every time you start thinking of what you don't like - just think of that one thing you like. Eventually you will change the pattern of thought and start liking you more. This is the body you have for the rest of your life - love it! It's uniquely you. Second, don't compare yourself with anyone! You are you -not them!!! What other people are doing is none of your business!!! The secret is, the reason why everyone thinks they are the bomb is because THEY DO!!! YOu gotta believe in you and talk yourself up!!
well this girl used to be one of my best friends but then she got all pissy to my boyfriend so i got mad at her then i became her friend after a couple of months but i was talkin to this kid and he all of the sudden said dont talk to me n i looked at his profile and my page said that this girl made up a little thing call the Hayley Haters thing and all they do is talk about me! and there are people in it! what should i do because its pissing me off! PLEASE HELP! i rate high!!!
First of all, if people are giving you that much power and credit to sit around and talk about you all day - thank them. It just means you are getting to them and they either want what you have or feel so inferior that they have to make a page to talk about you. That is pretty funny you know. The first thing I would do is ignore it. Really, don't even let people know it affects you because that is obviously what they are looking for. Don't retaliate because there again it means you are affected by them.
Don't let the haters get to you honey. They are jealous!! Leave them alone and keep your power - your energy. You don't need friends like here anyway.
Hey. Okay so I have this really great friend and i like him. He likes me too. The problem is he's a grade younger than me ( i'm going into 8th .. he's going into 7th ) and he asked me out and i said maybe. My friends tell me to say no because everyones gonna make fun of us .. especially me. But im afraid if i say no because im afraid he'll get mad at me and we wont be friends anymore. So i made a list of things i can do.
1. Say yes .. but not tell anyone
2. Say yes and ignore everyone ( this might be a hard one .. )
3. Say no and explain to him that we should just be friends & nothing more.
Im having a hard time choosing one of these .. Help please! i rate high!
thanks in advance
Okay, so you like the guy right? Guys go out with girls in lower grades all the time in middle and high school. Before you make a decision - figure out what you REALLY want. If you really like him - regardless of others opinions then don't let them dictate your happiness. If you say yes you cannot keep it a secret because that is just plain mean - like saying that you like him, but not enough to admit it to anyone but him. Just think - he may be the next Michael Jordan or Donald Trump and if you let your friends dictate how you feel - you could miss out on something that really makes your heart sing.
Go for what you know and forget what they say. If you are strong and sure, they will follow suit. Just because they are not sure enough of themselves to do something like that doesn't mean you have to be that way!!!
okay so i have this friend (im 13/f-hes 13/m.)he always seems depressed about everything. he says he really depressed and ive tried everythign to help him.he says he knows cutters and im worried that he cuts.he got out of this REALLY deep relationship with my best friend and he was soo happy with her but without her he seems empty and more depressed. he likes a new girl now and that helps...but im not sure how to help him get outta his "I hate life. It's not worth living." mode.and hes not suicidal-just any ideas? thanks a bunch!!! i rate extremely high!!!
The best thing you can do for him is be there for him. If you commiserate with him it just makes matters worse. Talk up the good things in his life and don't view him as 'broken'. He'll be fine. A lot of times when relationships end there is a little slum time. Now, if he's cutting himself and YOU KNOW IT - HAVE PROOF - then maybe you want to talk to his parents - depending on how they are. Just because someone says they hate their life doesn't mean they want it to end. Sometimes they just get into the habit of saying that everything sucks. Just take your conversations with him somewhere else. Don't keep pitying him or he will believe there is really something about his life so bad that other people feel sorry for him too. Remind him - in not so direct ways what he has to be grateful for. Although it may have seemed that this breakup is all that happened, people don't go from my life is great to I hate my life and stay there for any amount of time unless there were issues before.
The best thing you can do is be a friend. Don't go down in the dumps with him - listen and then show him the positive side of things very gently.
To start out, I'll tell you this. I'm only 15, but regardless of my age I think I could be in love. I've liked this guy for almost three years and he's pretty much all I think about. Every song I hear relates, in some way, to him. But that isn't the problem. He recently told me he liked me. And a few days later said he thought we would eventually go out. well, I don't think that's going to happen. I heard from a friend that he hasn't liked anyone since this one girl he liked a few months ago. Which would mean, he didn't like me. I asked him and he said I'm great and all, but he didn't like me any more than a friend. That kind of made me give up, you know? I felt like I failed or something? I don't know. I'm not really the jealous type, until it comes to him. So recently I've been talking to this other guy, he really likes me and I really like him. But the way I like him doesn't compare to how much I like the other guy. so, this guy is supposed to ask me out when we hang out this weekend, so I've heard. If he does, I'm scared to ruin the chance with the other guy i REALLY like. Although, I can't wait forever. But I need help soon. I have to decide. I'm really thinking to go for this guy that really likes me. What do you think?
You can't ruin a chance that isn't there. The fact is that some people will connect and some won't. Just take it as there is something better out there. Don't save yourself for a guy who is not interested and told you strait up that he wasn't. I know that sometimes just not being able to have the person makes you like them more - but that really isn't healthy. Take back your power - because right now you've given it all to him. Thinking about him all the time is definatley not healthy. Let him go. Remember that the only person you need in this world is you - period. And when you can be fine with you and let this other thing go - then you will be in a place where a good guy can come along. Don't say yes to this other dude if you are not feeling it. He has feelings too. If you truly do like him - go for it! If not - be honest and let him know. DON'T BASE ANY OF THE DECISION ON THE OTHER GUY!!! This is your life and trust me - this other guy will not be in it forever!!
To love someone in the way you say you do requires a lot more intimacy. I'm not talking about sex - just intimacy of the soul. Remember this - if you wake up more than 3 days in a row thinking about him - you are likely slightly obsessed with him. It feels like love, I know, I've been there. And for where you are - it probably is love - but not the healthy kind. Let him go and move on - PLEASE!!!
about a week ago, me and my boyfriend broke up after being together for about 7 months. then this guy that i had kinda liked asked me out and i said yes but now i'm regreting it. i still like/love my ex. he says he loved me. and my b/f calls me every morning and all the time. it is starting to drive me nuts. But i don't want to hurt him becuz he is a real good friend.and me and my ex broke up becuz i don't even know y. But he didn't treat me very nice. We did kiss but he never hugged me or called me. Then he went and bragged about it to all his friends and at the time he bragged to my now b/f. I don't know which one 2 choose..i love 1 but i like the other. i dont know...please help me out
13/f
i rate 5's
Well first of all, if your last boyfriend treated you bad - then is that love?? I think it may feel that way - but love doesn't hurt and if he's hurting you - then you deserve better. The new guy - you probably got with him on the rebound -right after the last guy, right? Don't keep leading him on and letting him think you want to be with him if you don't. If you're old enough to have a boyfriend, you are old enough to be honest with them and not play games. I would leave them both alone. Ex boyfriends will say anything to keep you holding on...show him you have the power here (because you do) and pay him no attention. If he never called you - then he didn't like YOU -just the kisses, right? Let that guy go. The other one - let him go too. If you think you are doing him a favor by not telling him how you feel, you are wrong. He has a right to know you are not feeling the situation. Let him move on and find someone who is more into him. Get some time to breathe and the right guy will come. Don't hang on to guys just to have one - you will always end up unhappy that way. Don't settle for less - ALWAYS demand more!!!
well after my gf dumped me, we became "friends with benifits." we still make out and ive touched her boobs and she's given me a hj. is this a bad thing? she's the one who dumped me for another guy (whose ass i kicked). does this mean that she still likes me???
Is it a bad thing? I guess not. I mean is it playing with your emotions? If you still like her and are hoping to get back together - you may get hurt. I don't get why she would break up with you then do this stuff with you. I will tell you like I tell the girls - there is no such thing as 'friends with benefits'. It's giving away your body for free. The bottom line is that you have to respect yourself enough to leave that alone. Or - talk to her and see what's up. Don't assume things because you never know what's going on in someone elses mind. Just be strait up. Tell her you want to know what's up. And if she really does like you - if you take the physical away, she will come back.
well im 13 and my sister is 15 but for some reason, evertime a guy likes her or she goes out with someone, i get really pissed off and scare the guy away. ( I even gave a guy a black eye) I know that shes gonna go out with guys, but i dont want anybody to hurt her or take advantage of her. last summer, we went to the same summer camp, and a guy liked her and thats where i punched a kid. we tell each other everything so she knows about the gfs ive had (only 2) and she didnt like my gfs either. should i give a guy a chance, and am i being too overprotective?
Hello!!! You can't keep running her guys off because at some point she will begin to resent you. It's not your job to protect her. Being that possessive is not healthy at all. She is probably going to get hurt and there is nothing you can do about it. It will help her grow and figure out what she wants. You are not helping her. Now, if there was a real problem with a guy - talk to her, not him. Eventually that type of behavior on your part will chase not only the boys away but your sister too.
im 15 years old.. and my best friend is a guy named mike.. and me and him have always had something for eachother and been together hooking up off and on for about 2 years.. and he has been the BIGGEST part of my life and my heart for longer than that.. and just recently he started dating this girl that i absolutly do not get along with and never have.. and the first day they staretd going out i got into a fight with him over something i said to her. and he chose to defend her and be on her side over me. and that hurt me more than imaginable. but hes hurt me in similar ways to this and made me hysterical to many times to count.. and every time he does we fight and i try so hard to walk away from him but i never can.. and i always end up going bak to him as soon as he tells me he loves me and hes sorry. and i just dont know how to be without him anymore and that i need him and am not whole without him.. can you please tell me what to do because ireally cant take this pain anymore my hearts in so many pieces it just hurts to even breathe..
Well darlin, he can't heal that kind of pain...although it may feel that way, the truth is you have to heal your own heart. No one can complete you - that's a lovely saying - but any healthy relationship is made of 2 complete people coming together to compliment each other - not hurt one another.
Right now you are just giving him your power - your essence in hopes that he will do something different from what he's done before. He won't. I keep hope alive, but I also don't believe in suffering over a man who is rejecting you over and over. Fine, you hook up and it's lovely then, but there has to be something missing because he's got another girl and uses you as a fill in.
I had a guy like that when I was 15 or so... I learned so much from him. When I finally figured out what I am trying to tell you I had my strength back and he was begging for me. The funny thing was, I didn't want him anymore.
Pull yourself together and leave him alone for a bit. Being mean to his girl will not make you two closer - he's gonna take her side because that is the most intimate relationship in his life.
Write a list of what you want in a boyfriend - without him in mind and see if he even fits...I think you may be suprised!!!
Ok well i ive been in a relationship for about 2 months now with one guy and things are getting kinda boring and well his friend i really really like him he is just funny and pretty cute hes not bad at all and well.. I dont know what i should do i dont even know if I might be cheating on him I think I am like ive kinda been talking to his friend alot and flirtin with him so what should i do dump my boyfriedn go out with his friend
or w8 a while im so confused help!!!
For me the whole friend thing gets pretty sticky. If it were me, I'd probably let it go for now. Break up with your current - and just be honest - tell him you are not feeling it and that you just want to be friends. Wait for the dust to settle before you actually talk to the friend.
Now, I'm not sure if you've had sex with this guy - depending on your age, I really hope not. Also if the guys are best friends you may be putting yourself right in the line of fire to get hurt. Just think about this and make sure you really like this other guy before you really hook up with him.
Either way, ditch the current boyfriend. You can be single for a while - get some air and some space.
ok, so i like this guy a lot, but he liked this girl who is really nice, fun, and outgoing. but she has a boyfriend, and when i say boy friend i mean head over heels in love and would never cheet on him boyfriend. So, i know he has no chance with her, and he knows it too. and he said he needs to lie someone to get over this girl, so now he is saying to some people he likes me a bit. i really lie him, but i dont want o get hurt, what should i do?
Don't put yourself in a position where you are just taking what you can get - the bottom line is this is a rebound thing - not the 'real' thing. I would say let it go. If he still likes you and wants to be your boyfriend in 6 months - it's probably real.
I'm 15/f he's 17/m.
This is kind of long, but I can't stop thinking about him. He leads me on all the time, and I fall for it all the time. He loves it when I play with him too. So at this point, we both like eachother a lot.. we tell everyone that we like eachother. But we won't hook up. I dont know his reason, but I know mine. When we first met, he cheated on his girlfriend.. with me. But when that happened, he told me he was single, so he lied to me. That made me think, a lot. If we were ever to hook up, would there be another chick he lures in and lies to for a little fun behind MY back?
What my question is since you know the story: What should I do about him? Should I try to persue something more, or should I keep on the level we're on right now: friends with some benifets? Advice? :)
Friends with benefits just gives away something that should be somewhat sacred. You are 15!!! I didn't even know about this stuff at your age. Save benefits for a REAL boyfriend! Let that one go. The rule of thumb is if he did it to her, he'll do it to you - mostly because you will expect it since it already happened. How about just keep it in your pants and leave your relationship at friends WITHOUT BENEFITS!!! Don't sell yourself out! Because if he can get it like that - he'll never wanna give you more - why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free!!!
Well I need some more advice, since I dont really know about the one before. Well it all stared with a boy named "D" ill say. He i-med me and asked me out i said yes then no. Then we didnt talk for a while and he i-med me again and we started talking. I really liked this kid, he was different from anyone else. So we then decided to meet in school. We saw eachother in the halls but never said hello. Once we met everything just evolved and we have been going out ever since. Movies, the mall, I have never met anyone like him, and no one has ever made me feel this way. Im only 13 but i feel really in love. We are kinda growing apart i feel, cause im out of school for the summer and we havent talked in about 5 days which too me is like hell. Im only 13 but whenever i call him i feel uncomfortable, and he never comes online anymore. Im not sure what to do. We havent even kissed yet, but hugged alot and held hands a couple times. If i talk to him, it seems like he likes me, but he isnt calling me at all or making an effort to see me. And i cant stop thinking about him, thats whats driving me crazy.
What should I do? :-(
Give it a rest! You are 13 honey! This is not the last one. I once heard a friend of mine, much older than you say, "I wish he would just be a man about it and TELL me he doesn't want to be with me anymore". I say, actions speak louder than words. Take it from someone who knows, if you sweat him and basically give him all of your power it's really hard to get it back. Call some of your friends and go hang out - get him off your mind! It's summertime and you just shouldn't have to spend your days wondering if this is it - because I gaurantee you, it's not!