This is the advice column of Meags227. All questions will be answered unless they are not suitable for children. Meags227 will judge how appropriate each question is. Questions are usually answered within twenty-four hours of receivance. Thank you for visiting this site and feel free to ask anything. :-)
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Gender: Female
Location: Lisle
Occupation: Advice Columnist
AIM: Meags227
Member Since: February 17, 2005
Answers: 57
Last Update: July 21, 2006
Visitors: 6850
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SimpleSoupOfSilence
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SO here's my problem. I am a freshman in high school and so far its been ok. i have friends that went to my old school with me at high school, but those are my only friends. I haven't really made any friends that i hang out with on the weekends and stuff from my new high school. i want to make more friends from my high school but i am sort of shy when it comes to that sort of thing. it seems like for everyone else its really easy to make friends, but i just can't seem to go up to some random person and have a conversation with them. i feel like i am missing out on high school! what advice can u give me to help make more friends? (link)
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You aren't the only one that finds it difficult to make friends, so don't think that for everyone else it's really easy. I know a lot of people that wonder how to be more friendly and outgoing when they are shy. The truth is, a lot of (not all, but many) shy people don't even HAVE friends. Not just because they are hard to make, but they can also be hard to keep. I remember an Amigos retreat last year being all about Friendship. (If you went to St. Joan and were in Amigos, you will know what I'm talking about.) There was a list of things to do in order to maintain a friendship. This sounds stupid, and at the time I thought it was rather silly, but I have grown to appreciate all those activities we did, for a mulititude of reasons. Anyway, the main thing was communication. Being shy isn't a bad thing, but you need to talk, because friends share problems, hang out, and learn more about each other, which you can't do if you are too shy. Obviously since you still have friends, you are pretty good at this. Just apply it to making new friends. Try hanging out with one of your old friends while they are hanging out with their new friends. Make new friends through old friends! Get it? Just act yourself around new people. It'll take some time but I'm sure it'll all work out. Also, ask your current friends how they made new friends. I'm sure they can help you even more than me, considering I don't know who this is. Hope I helped!
~Meags
p.s. One last thing: now go and count the number of times I have said the words "friend" or "friends" in this answer. It has to be over 20, whoops...
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SMOOOTHIE BABeeeee!!! yum yum (link)
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Yes, I love smoothies, too. Especially strawberry-banana. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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ok, my mum stopped smoking for a good few years now and i was so proud of her but now she's started again because shes under so much pressure (she does an art course at college) it also puts pressure on me and she says she understands that but its something she wants to do and i support that. She said that she will stop smoking at the summer and i was fine with that but ive not to tell anyone thats shes smoking again, but now shes smoking all the time and i feel sick around her but i CANT tell her that. SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!!! SORRY ITS LONG BUT I RATE VERY HIGH (link)
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Why do you support her smoking? I mean, there's nothing you can really do about it because it's her decision, but you shouldn't support her hurting herself. Maybe you could suggest other things to do instead of smoking when she is stressed, like doing yoga or punching pillows or something. If you really don't care her smoking until summer (when she might not even quit because it's really hard) then you still have to do something. Not only is SHE getting worse from doing it all the time, but so are YOU. You could die even before she does from second-hand smoke. Tell her this somehow, because if she cares about you, she will take her smoking elsewhere. if you can't talk to her in person, try writing her a letter or printing stuff from the internet with stories and facts about second-hand smoke, and leave it where she can find them. If this doesn't work, then walk away from her when she pulls out a cigarette. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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Hey Meags,
I am a twin and I am starting to get very annoyed at this. I feel like people think of my twin and I as the same person. We hang out together alot , but I can't always help that because we have the smae intrests so we end up in the same sports/activities. How do I become more independent. I am thinking of trying to find some new frieds (we have the same group of friends)and my old friends are getting kind of boring. The problem is I don't think I am very good at making friends. I have always had a twin there so I never had to "learn" how to "make friends." Do you know any twins and do you think of them as the same person? (link)
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Well, I know a lot of twins, and if I don't know them well, I tend to think of them as one type of person (Not one person, but one TYPE, because they aren't siamese twins...) However, the twins I know better, I think of them as 2 totally different individuals, even though they have the same friends and do the same sports. Try not to get annoyed, because that's normal for people to assume that 2 people that look alike think and act alike. People do the same for brothers and sisters (trust me, I know!). Don't leave your old friends for this reason only- leave them if you really don't like them anymore. As for making new friends, try talking to people in your classes or being more friendly, especially to people who you would like to get to know better. Also, talk to your twin and see if they feel the same way. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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Currently the company I work for has been very very slow to get inventory in. They have not done any marketing or advertising. And we have been told to change some things that we normally do for customers. Also our current customers are leaving (due to lack of inventory) faster then our new customers are coming in.
This has been going on for almost a year. Can it get better or should I seriously be looking for another job? The manager can only say it cost alot to order inventory and hang in there.
(link)
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Umm... How old are you? ANYWAY... it never hurts to look for another job, but in the meantime, "Don't quit your dayjob!" lol Hope I helped!
~Meags
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ok so, meagan. i have this bf and like we've been together for a while and he's only told me once how he gets really pissed when i "flirt" with other guys, and this was in the begining of our relationship. and now his friends tell me that he gets jealous really easily by like the simpliest things, even when i talk to other guys. so i was wondering, y doesn't he say something? should i say something? and i feel really bad cuz he doesn't say anything about it. cuz me and him should b able to talk about stuff like that.help me meagan!
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I totally see where you are coming from. But I also see where he is coming from. Once should be enough! I'm sure he doesn't want to keep reminding you of how jealous he gets and how often you flirt. Try to work on your flirtatiousness, but you don't have to talk to him about it. He probably doesn't want to bring it up, because it either makes him feel bad or he doesn't like pestering you. If his friends tell you about his complaints, tell them you are trying to stop and that if your bf gets upset he should tell you- not his friends. You are right- you should be able to talk. His jealousy is normal so don't get upset by it or anything- just try to not flirt so much, which shouldn't be too hard if you REALLY try. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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lately i feel really distant from my friends ..like they dont care about me or want to sit with me at lunch and stuff. I dont know how to talk to them about this, because when i do they roll their eyes and call me sensitive. I could never tell them that i cry alot becasuse of this ..please help (link)
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There is a deeper problem here- WHY are you distant? Think about what you have done in the past; did any of this upset them? If you can't think of anything, then take a different approach. I know I say this all the time, and this is the most common advice, but talk to them again. Say you don't want to lose such great friends or ask if you are doing anything wrong, and if they call you sensitive say, "Hey, maybe I am, but it's better than not caring, which I feel like you guys are doing to me." Hope I helped!
~Meags
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Sorry its long.
My best friend is coming to my school, she went there once but people dont remember her because it was like 2-3 years ago. Well She is short and pretty and she has nice clothes and she is coming to my school on friday and I am afraid she is going to get into the popular kids in my school. How can I provent this? I dont want her to think the I am one of those friends who doesnt want her to hang out with anybody but me, you know. But I also dont want her to make bad choices on friends and then loose her other friend. (link)
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Talk to her! I would tell her the popular kids are bad, and she shouldn't hang out with them, but its her choice, but she should be careful and you care about her. I think she will understand, if you tell her how oyu really feel. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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I really want my boyfriend to kiss me before I kiss him. I was thinking of asking one of my best friends if they would tell him that I want him to kiss me before I kiss him. Do you guys think that will work? And does anyone have any other ideas? (link)
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Interesting dilema... I would suggest being patient, because he probably doesn't want to be too pushy or he is shy. Just try and give him little hints that you are ready, like looking in his eyes or something. If you really can't wait (that's kind of sad, but it happens) then talk to your best friend about it. Don't have her say "Kiss her!" or anything though; have her CASUALLY mention it or ask him about it rather than telling him to. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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Okay I really love to swim and cheelead but next year I will be a freshman and I will need to chose.. I love both.. but which one would be better for me?? I am 14 and I have a pretty busy life.. my sister is also a cheerleader and she quit swimming.. plz help me out.. but now i got to go to 7th hour in school.. thank you..
Kaydee (link)
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Definitely whichever one you like better. Swimming will probably get you in better shape, but cheerleading is still good. Don't think about looks, what your friends are doing, or following in your sister's steps. Just think about which one you will regret skipping. It's YOUR choice, and no one but YOU can choose. You may not think I helped much, but just think about it- it's your life! Hope I helped!
~Meags
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well i have this friend and she is all nice and stuff around me...but when another person is around us shes different...for example today we went to abercrombie and i grabbed this shirt and she said she didnt like it...but then when my other friend came and said she liked it, she changed her mind...what should i do about it? (link)
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Many people are like that. I'm sure you even act different around different people, though you probably don't notice, and I'm sure your friend doesn't notice her behavior either. Try not ot feel jealous or hurt by her actions, because she probably doesn't mean to hurt you. Talk to her about it (in a nice way) or point it out the next time she does it. She will hopefully realize her problem and change it. If she doesn't, ask why she continues to be that way. It's possible she is jealous of you and has to show you up in front of other people, or she is insecure and has to act "cool" around other people, but she is comfortable being herself around you. Talking usually makes everything better, and if it doesn't, then shut up! Hope I helped!
~Meags
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breaking up with your boyfriend for his best friend...?
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still going out with him because he's a really good guy and you're afraid to break his heart...?
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what should I do, because my boyfriend is the most amazing guy ever, and he'd cry and be depressed for months if anything happened. But I just don't have feelings for him anymore, and his friend and I like eachother... help! (link)
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You are hurting him more if you are pretending to have feelings for him. He would be mroe upset if he found out the hard way (without you telling him) about you and his friend, so you have to call it off. Try to break it to him easy, but remember that no breakup ever turns out good right away, so give him some time to get over it, especially before going out with his friend. But make sure you are positive you have feelings for his friend and it isn't just a little crush that could end in a few days, because then you will be sorry for what you lost (your current boyfriend). Everything will probably turn out good in the end :-) Hope I helped!
~Meags
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Okay, i like alot of guys, but i'm told there is someone
out there for me. I wan't things to happen so fast, but that's not right.My question is how do you know when
the right guy for you is possibly the one right in front of you. sincerely, Lacey. (link)
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I don't think anyone REALLY knows for sure, but I have been told that sometimes you will just have this gut feeling that this person is "the one." Though it's possible, it's not very often that you will find your true love in junior high or high school, so don't be expecting it to happen. The best advice I can give you is to explore your options- I'm not saying you should be a player or whatever, but get to know your crushes better. Think of the qualities you want in a guy, then see who has them. Don't get discouraged if you don't know a guy that has all of the traits, because no one is perfect, but try and find people with most of them. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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i play basketball and i was wandering what can i do for practice. i mean what is like a really good practice for basketball? please help.
*i rate* (link)
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First and foremost, I must say, you are the coolest person ever! lol, jk, i love basketball, too. If you want to work on your shots, then just shoot around every chance you get. If you have a hoop outside thats great, but you can also go to the park. Get some friends to play with you, too. If you want to work on ball-handling, take a basketball and dribble as much as possible. Dribble a lot with your left, then with your right, then cross-overs, then between your legs, then behind the back, etc. This may seem easy, but it really does help. You can get creative- make up your own games or drills and have fun. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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Sometimes i feel so fat compared to all of my super skinny friends. i weigh about 100 lbs but i feel really insecure. should i try to lose weight? (link)
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Self-confindence is different for different people so it's hard for me to answer, but I can try to help. If you're 100 lbs and you feel big compared to your friends, how skinny ARE your friends?! 100 lbs is NOT big at all, and I believe it is even below average. You are probably the only one that cares or even notices, but I'm not sure this info helps too much. SO... it never hurts to be healthy, but losing weight shouldn't be all that matters. Feeling healthy will help improve your self image though, so here are some tips (Oh man, I'm starting to sound like a P.E. textbook!): Eat healthy foods (You know what's healthy- if you want to go on a diet that's fine, but make sure its a safe one; don't just stop eating). Try eating more small meals, rather than a few big ones. Exercise (doing cardio may help burn fat, but don't forget to lift weights, too). In the meantime, try to focus on other things besides weight, and don't compare yourself to your friends- each person is UNIQUE (Now I really do sound like a schoolbook!) Umm, that's about it... to sum it up, DON'T become anorexic or bulemic! Hope I helped!
~Meags
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ok well mi dating my bf for the fourth time and i love him very much. But everyone thinks he's cheatin on me cause he puts up some big front like he's a big flirt and hard core rocker. But really he's not and he's really sweet and kind. Though my friends don't see this and they think he's a jerk.So know there all not getting along and i just want them to see that he's really not a jerk. What do i do? (link)
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First, you have got to think of WHY they think he is a big flirt and cheats on you. They have their reasons. You may just be in denial because you don't want to face the truth. If you are SURE that he just acts that way and is really sweet and kind, then talk to your friends. Tell them how torn you are and wish they would all get along. Ask them to give your boyfriend a chance. If that doesn't work out, then talk to your boyfriend. Ask him to show your friends the true him- the side you know and love. If your friends still don't like him, then just ask them to ignore each other and let you live your life they way you want to. If they (or your bf) can't accept this, then you don't want to be with them anyway. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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i want to loose 50 lbs by july, is this even a possibly? and if so what would i have to do? i am really willing to except eat " right " foods i am probably still gonna eat the same i LOVE food (link)
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It is possible, but very difficult. You have to be really dedicated, which means eating right. If you still eat junk food while trying to lose weight, it won't work. Everytime you load up on chips or stuff your face with cake just picture yourself GAINING weight. Losing 50 pounds by July is a big goal, especially if you are only a little overweight. Try setting more short-term goals and lowering the amount of weight. Also, it's not all about losing weight. If you exercise you'll probably gain muscle, which weighs more than fat but is denser. So you can end up being the same weight but looking a lot skinnier. Also, don't worry so much about looking better as getting healthier. Good luck. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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I broke up with my girlfriend last summer and i cant let go of her. I dont know what to do but I love her and i dont know what to do. HELP! (link)
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Why did you break up with her if you didn't want to let go? If she dumped you, then she had to have her reasons for not liking you. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't like you back, anyway. Try moving on and seeing other people. If she doesn't want you back there is nothing you can do but forget about her. Hope I helped!
~Meags
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