KaYlA1213's advice column

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Q: ok... me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 1 year and we still haven't had sex... i am a virgin but he isnt, he has had sex 3 times. I am afraid that i am really tight down there and that either it wont fit or its really going to hurt. my friend said not to worry about it but i am freaking out and tomorrow i am going ova his house because its our 1 year and we are going to be home alone, and he is already brought up like hints that he wants to do it... i am soo scared... PLEASE HELP !!!

first of all, don't do anything that you don't want to. but if you do decide you want to, there is a good possibility it will hurt, but if you're ever going to have sex this is a risk you must take because no matter when you do it, it will still hurt if it's going to.

Q: 13 female. Theres this guy that i soooooo totally like... alot. He was in all my classes last year and he was sort of nerdy looking but totally awsome in personality. then over the summer it was like, wow, something happened, because when he came back, he was seriously hott. SO i told like one person that i liked him, and then she told other peple, and other peple told other peple who told him... and then my friend asked him out for me without my permission and he said no. Later i found out one of my best friends was still crushin on him from last year, but she's not mad about it. She's actually fine with it. Then Later i found out one of my friends asked him why he said no and he said cuz he doesnt know me that well, and i was like, we were great friends last year!!! when i went back to school on monday 2 days after the "asking out day" ugh, he said hi to me like nothing happened. its just usually i'm the one who always says hi. I really dont know what to do beacause i really like him. sry its long, but i really need help on this so please dont skip it!!! thanks

ask him if he likes you! but remember your friend, too, even though she said she's fine with you liking him, that may not mean she's fine with you dating him. so just check with her before you make any moves. then you can find out he feels for yourself!
*~KaYlA~*

Q: i'm 17 years old. i have been best friends with my friend for about 3 1/2 years. All of a sudden she just changed...she started cheating on all her boyfriends, but the most rapid change came when she got her most recent boyfriend. she has totally changed. she just wants to be like him, she acts stuck-up, and i feel like i'm being replaced by someone else. after this i just felt like i didnt like her anymore. i talked to her about this after we a very in depth conversation (for the first time in weeks, maybe months) and now i want to give our friendship a try but i'm not sure. we've talked a little more but i know her and i know it won't last. is there anything i can do?

maybe you should give her a chance to prove to you whether she'll change or not. then if she doesn't, just stay as close to her as possible, unless you can't stand it. if you have to get away from her, then if you all are really meant to be best friends, she'll come back.

Q: (16/F)
i have been spending A LOT of time with my b/f and i haven't been spending as much time with my girlies. i want to hang out with my girlies more and spend time with my b/f just not as much. how can i tell him, nicely, that i would like some space to spend time with the girlies? thanks in advance.

just tell him that you need some time with your girls to catch up, and he can go with the guys. that way you both are out with friends and nobody's left out in the cold!

Q: My best friend in 5th-8th grade, Charles promised me that he would go to our Freshmen dance no matter what! And now that it's ninth grade, it's in like 2 months. My friend Amanda asked me this morning on the bus who I was going to the dance with and I said Charles and then she goes and asks him 1st period if he'll go with her!! HE said he'll dance with her! That makes me so mad. Me & Charles haave talked about it, and he said if it gets that big of a deal he's not going to go anyways. Should I take him? even though he might dance with Amanda? - thanks alot

as long as you all aren't dating, i think it would be all right if he dances with her. if you all were dating, i might see a problem. however, i'm not sure how good of a friend Amanda is if she goes and asks him after she knew you were going with him. You should talk to her about that. I hope i have been a help!
*~KaYlA~*

Q: Does anyone know a website that like gives you answers to your math homework...im failing math but its only cause i dont do my homework..and im too lazy..and dont say stop being lazy..lol

if you have AOL, then you can go to homework help in the keyword. if you don't have that maybe this will help: http://www.math.com/
hope i helped!

Q: Okay...today I found out that two of my buds are trying to hook me up with this really!!! hot guy!!! what should I do?? I mean I like him but i don't know him very well...but I do know that he thinks I am pretty!!

you two should get together just so you can talk and get to know each other. you think he's hot, he thinks your pretty, so now all you've got to do is get to know each other and find out if you all like each other's personality. if you hit it off, then maybe you all could end up official! hope i helped!
*~KaYlA~*

Q: I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months now and we havent done anything more than hold hands and hug. THe reason why i am affraid to go any further is because i am affraid that he is going to judge me because i have never made out with any body or anything, and he has. I am just scared i am not going to be able to do it right. What should i do?

first of all, just take it at your own speed. then when you are ready, just go slowly. kiss slowly, and be sure to do it softly, and move your tongue around lightly and gently. i'm not sure if that helps at all, but i really hope it does.
*~KaYlA~*

Q: My friend and i have been friends for about a yr. I dont know if shes always been like this but shes gotten really really boring. I was talking about it to my other friend, and she agreed and said that she cant continue a conversation. Also..she hates *all* of my other friends and its annoying me. At the beggining of the school yr we were really good friends but lately shes gotten on my last nerve. Theres this one dude i like and he doesnt like me back and shes all mean about it and says..well ur mean to him and you annoy him. Shes SO friggin negative about everything and i dont know what to do, i dont want to stop being her friend completely...i just need a lot of space from her. I have other friends too and when im with them she comes up and just stands there. When i was walking with a guy she ran up to me and started walking along. She always comes out at break to see me. Its ANNOYING and i feel like i have no space. I dont know what to do or what i should say.

Anyways, the point of that whole explaination was that today at lunch i didnt want to sit in a certain spot cause the guy i like/d was there..so i walked away and she was all frustrated and like acting annoyed so i said ok if you wanna go to that spot then go , i'll just go find something else to do and i left..and i havnt seen her since then.

So..what should i do? im sorry if that was long but thats what happened.

i'll rate =)

explain to her, that you need some space and time to yourself in a nice way. and for the boring part, try yourself to spice up her life a little bit, like find things in common, like music. listen to cds together or find a movie you both enjoy. or find a boy that she thinks is cute and then maybe she'll be caught up in him and won't be so boring anyway. also, try talking to her about her interrupting when you're with friends, tell her that it makes her seem kind of rude, and if you dont mind when she comes along except that she just stands there: just ask her when she comes along to try to be social in the conversation.
Hope i helped!
*~KaYlA~*

Q: i have a friend that copies everything i do and I HATE IT!!! but somtimes we have fun and somtimes we absoultly hate eachother!
what should i do
sgined jealous?

tell your friend how you feel. tell her it's okay to copy you sometimes, but no all the time because you need to be your own person just as she does. but look on the bright side, at least she admires you!
Hope i helped!*~KaYlA~*

Q: OK im about to get my permit and I was just wondering what is the test like? and what do you have to do? (I've already read the book but I can't remember all the things)

once they called me back, all i had to do was go to a computer and answer questions...umm....some of the questions were:speed limit on the interstate, how far away from the curb do you have to be when you parallel park, drinking and driving stuff....it's been a while so i dont remember, but i'm sure you'll do fine! good luck!
hope i helped!

Q: I've been best friends with a girl named Kaitlin for over 11 years now and we're both 16 (I'm a girl too btw). Lately she's been so consumed with her social status that she doesn't even talk to me or even look at me anymore because I'm not "cool enough". We both play on the volleyball team and she really isn't a very good player, but she gets really jealous because I always play all the time and I got moved up to varsity this year while she didn't. I get the feeling that she talks behind my back because now the whole volleyball team hates me and I'm naturally a very quiet person so I don't know why they'd have any reason to dislike me. I don't have very many other friends. It's really hard for me to talk to other people, and I don't want to be friends with Kaitlin anymore. What do I do? And should I try to get revenge? (she also purposely ditches me at dances and stole my bf just to get me angry...)

i know revenge is supposed to be sweet, but she will get hers, dont worry! if other people dont like you it's probably because she's telling lies on you. she is just jealous of you. try to be a little bit more social (even though i know it's hard), and you'll make better friends. but whatever you do, don't let her know she's getting to you, it'll just make her happy!
Hope i helped!

Q: what should i get my bf for valintines day???

the first thing you should do is get him some chocolate or candy. then, if you want to get more, you could get him a cd that he wants or his favorite movie, or even a shirt. or another idea would to be make something for him like: a collectioin of pictures of you two together, or just a collection of pictures of you that he can always have. or do you all have a song? make him a tape of it, with the lyrics and a sweet note. hope i helped!

Q: i liked this guy and i think he liked me too. He acted like an idiot so, now i dont like him. My friend started liking him and then he asked her out. I feel jealous but, why?, i dont like him. it hurts so bad to think of them. why?

maybe deep down you still really like him...but it could really be that she has what you wanted at one time. it's perfectly natural to be jealous, just don't act on those jealous feelings.

Q: okay well today at breck fast at school..i was talking to this kid Pat..and i was talking to him...and my good friend that im in t fight with and i love...was trying to talk to me and i sceam to him DOMINIC DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!!! it sliped out and i don't no what to do..now he wont talk to me!

PLEASE HELP!! I LOVE HIM SOO MUCH!! I RATE HIGH!!!

tell your friend that you don't know what came over you, and you were having a bad day. tell him that you are really really sorry, it will never happen again, and you would love to try your friendship out again.

Q: I have a friend. I think theres something wrong that she won't tell me. She is always mad at me. she always takes it out on me when it is somebody elses fault. How can i stop her from yelling at me when it is not my fault? Should i not be friends or should i and should i stop her from taking it out on me?

the first thing you should do is talk to your friend. ask her if you did something wrong, and if she says nothing, then ask her why she always seems mad at you. then explain to her that she shouldnt take angry feelings out on you when you did nothing wrong, but tell her you can help her by talking with her when she does get angry.

Q: What exactly is mono?

mono is an airborne sickness you can get from someone who has mono. for instance just talking to someone you can get it. you can also get it from the water fountain and kissing (that's why its called the kissing disease). it lasts anywhere from 10 days to like 3 months i think.

Q: I have a new boyfriend and things are going great, but I can't help but shy away. I really want to get close to him, but I have been hurt before and I don't want to get hurt again. Does anyone know how to break down the walls that I have built up to protect myself? I would really appreciate it. Thanks...

i know exactly how you feel, but in order to get love, it unfortunately does involve hurting sometimes. and sometimes, as weird as it may sound, a broken heart makes you strong in relationships. so first of all maybe you could just tell that you're afraid of being hurt. but then you could tell something really secretive or maybe more important than secretive, even if it's something dorkish like "i still sleep with barney stuffed animal" you know it's not a big deal, but see his response to it. for instance, if he laughs, he's probably not worth getting close to. but if he responds more like "hey, that's cool, i still sleep with my barney stuffed animal, too" then it's probably worth it.

Q: There's this guy at my school that I really like,and I think he might like me, but he's really shy and we don't ever talk. But I was thinking of getting him a little something for Valentine's Day, just kind of like a secret admirer. Is that a good idea? What should I get? What should I write on it, and how should I go about getting it to him? Thanks for your help!

okay, there's one of two ways to go: secret admirer and yourself. secret admirer is okay, but really all you could put is "Happy Valentine's Day from your secret admirer" and watch his reaction. But if you gave it to him yourself, you could put a little note that says "you seem like a really cool person and i would like to get to know you. you can call/email me sometime if you would like (then number/email). Happy Valentine's Day!" also, for the gift (you thought i forgot hehe) chocolates is the way to go (hershey's pot of gold is the best!)

Q: Noone at school likes me. I dont know why, im never mean to anyone but guys say im hot.. are people jealous? Naw i dont think they are because a lot of girls in my school are pretty. What should I do ? And how can i find out why people dont liek to be my firend

could the problem be that your shy? maybe you should be more social if that is the case. or the other possibility is that other girls are intimidated by you. jealousy is a possibility also, just talk to people and show them how nice you are. and if you have a really good friend now, or when you make one, ask them why people don't like you, then you can go from there on improving yourself.

bio

Hi, my name is Kayla. Everyone has always told me i give good advice, and i really like giving advice. It makes me soo happy when i hear someone's succeeded by my advice. I will try my best to answer any questions. It's also perfectly fine to IM me when i'm on.

A little more about JuSt Me~i'm 17, i have a wonderful boyfriend of over 3 years. i love spending time with him. i also love shopping talking, rollerblading, being outdoors and listening to music. my favorite band is New Found Glory! *i LoVe RuSsElL* :)

*KaYlA ~n~ rUsSeLl 12/13/01-FOREVER!*

*I have another SN it's on AOL/AIM. It's: AngelAyAy7