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To Break Down the Walls
I have a new boyfriend and things are going great, but I can't help but shy away. I really want to get close to him, but I have been hurt before and I don't want to get hurt again. Does anyone know how to break down the walls that I have built up to protect myself? I would really appreciate it. Thanks...
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This has happened to me before. You just have to know that you trust him. Its all about taking risks...you never know whats gonna happen and that s the beauty of it. If you dont, you'll spend forever...and i mean forever asking yourself ''whatif?'' and i know you dont want to do that.
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You just have to understand that you will get hurt again and again and you just have to put yourself out there and see what happends.
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Well, try talking to him about it, if he says "I love you" and you aren't ready then don't say it back, tell him that you aren't ready and that you have been hurt before and if he REALLY doesn't love you, then to please not say it. But, for a good relationship you have to confide in eachother and trust eachother and talk anout your feelings! (I know that was the lamest thing in the world, but, I found that it DOES work!) I hope I helped a little bit!
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i know exactly how you feel, but in order to get love, it unfortunately does involve hurting sometimes. and sometimes, as weird as it may sound, a broken heart makes you strong in relationships. so first of all maybe you could just tell that you're afraid of being hurt. but then you could tell something really secretive or maybe more important than secretive, even if it's something dorkish like "i still sleep with barney stuffed animal" you know it's not a big deal, but see his response to it. for instance, if he laughs, he's probably not worth getting close to. but if he responds more like "hey, that's cool, i still sleep with my barney stuffed animal, too" then it's probably worth it.
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Its very common for girls ,that have been hurt, to feel like this. being shy is only the start of a relationship that you want to last for a while. Try not to think about the past and try to focus on now. I kno that the guy that you have now should be a great one, so dont shy away from that. I kno that you have it in you to break down those walls.
I kno that this is going to sound simple, but try to get into a conversation, then you and him can talk a lot more and fell comfortable with eachother.
good luck sweetie,
sammie ^_^
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It's really good that you want to protect yourself from being hurt...again. I would suggest to act as if he's your BFF. You might be able to handle that more then full-fledged BF/GF. Relax and act the way you would around friends. Just go out there and tell yourself..."I can do this! I am WONDERFUL and COURAGEOUS! Don't let all four walls down at once. Give yourself a window, then a door, then another window...etc. Make it like a house until you can finally go out of your house to feel the fresh air. If you don't understand what I mean, e-mail me and I'll help you! Hope I helped!
~K~
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I have done this over and over. As well as most other girls. If you want to break down the walls then just try to trust him. You can't be afraid to get hurt.
if you dont care then you cant get hurt, but if you arent willing to care then you arent willing to know what love is
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all i can say, is just becuase one guy broke your heart and is a complete jerk maybe not all guys do, your giong to get hurt, but thats life just deal with it and dont give up on other guys though becuase he might be the actual guy out there for you! hope i helped a little! -kay
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