I love giving advice. Some of my advice has saved relationships, began new ones, and helped friendships. I'm willing to try and answer any question I can, using my own experiences and knowledge, as well as articles I read. Ask me anything! I earned my bachelors in Psychology in 2016. Feel free to ask me things! -Heather
Gender: Female
Location: Illinois, USA
Age: 25
Member Since: November 11, 2009
Answers: 70
Last Update: April 30, 2020
Visitors: 7817
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I m 21.my parents were divorsed when i m 12.after that my mom looked after me n my brother.but from last 3years i m working and taking care if my mom and brother and also doing my graduation.i m loving a boy so much he too loves me but now a days he was changed.no one cares for me not my family or lover.i m nt happy.i love them so much but they dnt.so i want to die (link)
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First, I honestly know what it's like to go through depression and want to be dead all the time; I went through it my whole senior year almost, so I understand that empty feeling. Our situations may have not been the same, but I feel that I can help in some way.
The thing that snapped me out of it was that my friend (unknowingly) posted a status about what a person's family and friends would go through each step of 'your' suicide. It said how your mom would find you and break down, then your father would come, see you lying there and blame himself. Your little siblings would think it's their fault for always bothering you...etc.
But a way to snap yourself out of it too is to only think of the positives in your life, or write a pros/cons list. Write down people that you admire or would go to for advice. Also, with your lover, just hug him tightly. Hugs are proven to help fight depression and let pent up emotions out. I hug my man when I'm feeling like dying, and I just break down and sob, feeling better afterwards.
I know this seems like a lot of mumbo jumbo, but I do hope at least one thing I said might help you out :-) best of luck!
~Miss Holly~
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I am quite a gym rat and my husband has no interest in any kind of workout or exercise at all. He is way too skinny for a guy and would certainly benefit from joining me at the gym occasionally.
How can I motivate him? Is there a playful way for me to show him that I have developed a lot more strength than him (I'm sure i have). I have also been doing some kickboxing and karate classes which I don't think he even knows.
Any suggestions on how I can motivate him? I'm not trying to be mean or vain. Maybe pick a play fight and put him in his place playfully? (link)
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I say you make a bet with him, that you can beat him in a fight. If he loses, he has to go to the gym with you 3 times a week, and if you win, he can just go twice every other week :P
or just tell him no sex until he goes to the gym with you >:) haha!
Have fun!
~Miss Holly~
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So there's a guy at my school and I really like him. He always texts me and tries to talk to me. He compliments me a lot and always laughs at EVERYTHING I say. We seem to click on everything from liking the same colour to favourite food and music. Does he like me? Because some of my friends tell me he likes this other girl. Should I risk asking him out? Does he like me? I'm 13/f and In 8th grade. He's in the same grade as me. (link)
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I think from what you've said that he does like you, unless he's just a generally nice guy to everyone. I think that since you guys click pretty well, you should give him some subtle yet pointed hints that you are starting to like him, such as sneaking looks at him or smiling across the room :-) Just remember that 8th grade boys can be immature, and it takes a lot to get them to admit their feelings to a girl. I've experienced this many times, in middle school and high school, and it seems to ring true with most boys. I wish you good luck, and just remember, it might take a little time for you both to be on the same page romantically at first! Best of luck, ~Miss Holly~
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Hi Im 18 and I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year our anniversary is next month. we get along just fine and haven't had sex, we respect each other about anything and just last weekend my boyfriend and were at my house my parents were gone and he came over i played guitar in front of him for a while then we ended up making out but as we started making out, all of a sudden I feel his hand going under my shirt
Trying to feel my breasts. It made me feel good but at the same time I felt like its bad I don't know if I should've said something I mean afterwards he asked me if it was ok with me and also said he wasn't ready for sex but he respects me. I don't know what to think but I love him (link)
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First of all, I commend you on the fact that you've been with him for a year already and have refrained from anything close to sex! I'm 18 myself, and I know how hard it is to refrain from the pressures of sexual intimacy. It's great to hear that people still have self respect & control :-)
As far as my advice goes, it's your body, and you decide what a guy can and can't do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you enjoying being touched intimately by the man you love most, and it seems like he truly respects you. If you felt uncomfortable, make sure he knows your boundries as well as you do. If he is a good guy, he will NOT leave you because you don't feel ready yet. Just know that you did nothing wrong, and neither did he. You guys were just exploring becoming intimate, and that is just human nature.
Hope this helps, and I hope your relationship keeps staying strong!
~Miss Holly~
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Ok, so there's this guy I have a crush on...
and I've had a crush on him for almost a year now. I think he likes me.
-keeps on sneaking peeks at me
-always borrows my things
-asks me questions
-budges in my conversation, looks directly into my eyes and smiles
-finds excuses to stay near me, is always really close to me
-picks me for teams
-tries to impress me
-tries to make me jealous
-flirts on facebook
-sits close to me all the time
-talks with me alot
-I asked him if he wanted to go to the movies with me and my friends and a couple of other boys,and he said yes
-his eyes say 'I know you like me'
does he like me? I don't know. sometimes we don't talk for a whole day. We kind of ignore each other. Then we flirt with other people.
I don't know. Is he playing hard to get or does he think of me as a friend?
P.S. I have 3 other rivals... (link)
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I think this could go two ways: either he's playing with you just because he knows you like him, or he actually likes you and is trying to play the "cool guy" dismissive role (which seems more likely from what you've said.) A poll I read recently said that 89% of guys want girls to make the first move, but it seems like you've dropped hints to him, which is good enough in my book. One time when it seems like you're being really close, just start to flirtily talk about liking him in a coy way and see if he picks up on it. Let me know how it goes! :) Hollywood22
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19/f
Hey. I'm just an ordinary girl at college, and well I have a lot on my mind. My roommate is never around and we don't get along really well. I have a lot on my mind regarding life, love, and struggles that I'm going through. The one thing I really want is just someone to really talk to about these things. I do consider myself social :) but none of my friends really help me out, or I just kinda feel like a burden to them and guilty for always coming to them for help. I guess I'm just asking for advice on how to find someone that I can talk to about personal things and not feel ashamed? Oh and I don't have a lot of money so I can't get a counselor or anything. Plus I think that would be awkward. (link)
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Well you can talk to me :P haha, just sayin'. But in all seriousness, I've found it very helpful to talk to people who share a common interest with me, such as theater and the arts. Once you get going on one topic, you will end up expanding to other things and becoming closer. I hope this helps somewhat, and if I think of anything else (or if you have more questions) my user's Hollywood22 :D
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I am using my sister's Sims 3 game and I also have the Nightlife, World Adventures, High-End Loft, and Ambitions Expansions packages that I also downloaded along with. The game seemed to be working just fine at first, but maybe about an hour or two into the game, the screen turns black, then it reverts back to the game, but my cursor doesn't hover over what I want it to and when I try to save the game or quit, it won't work.
Also, it doesn't always mess up my cursor. It also starts blinking and my computer makes a sound like it's working, then it slows down, then speeds back up, but the entire time, the screen is blank. No amount of pressing esc, or any other key code words. It's driving me nuts and I can't play my game, nor save it! I have tried deleting many things off my computer to make space, but it didn't work. I know I don't have a virus either since I have a virus protection thing that scans every day. Is it the game or the computer?
*Note: PC is a Windows 7 Intel Core sorta thing if that has anything to do with it? My friend has a similiar computer and it lets her play her Sims game just fine... (link)
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If you haven't used any cheats, such as the all powerful "boolprop" cheat, then it could be an error with the specific game disk. The Sims 3 is known to have many glitches, and it's tough to determine the actual cause. If all else fails, you can look in the pamphlet on the inside and call (or email) the tech support. Sorry I couldn't help much! -Hollywood22 :P
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I've been having dreams about having sex, or sexual related experiences with people. what could this mean? I've never had a wet dream, if there's anything i could do about this i'd atleast want to be able to control the dream ;P
thanks. (link)
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This could simply mean that you are craving some sort of connection or attention. If you're in a relationship, this is your mind's way of telling you that you want to experience a closeness with your significant other. If you're single, this may mean that you want a relationship and want to be able to show someone your true self. I've studied dreams a lot, so if you have any more questions, the name's Hollywood22 :)
Hope this helps!
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I've been sick with a cold and my voice has been gone for 3 days now, I try not to talk but I have to at school and stuff. What can I do to get it back? Its driving me crazy!! (link)
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Drink things like Sunny-D, water, and don't eat spicy foods or stuff that would irritate your vocal chords. :)
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So there's this guy... Matt.
BACKGROUND: He is seventeen, a junior.I am fifteen (sixteen in a month!) and a sophomore. We have been close friends since freshman year. ALL of freshman year I dated a boy who was horrible to me. Matt hated that boy for that. My ex would yell at me, curse me out, shove me, hit me, and tried to force me to do things (sexually) for him. When the boyfriend dumped me, Matt helped me through everything that followed because the ex was even worse to me when we split. At one point he almost got in a fight with my ex... Which was notttt good. But he would let me talk to him and cry on his shoulder and vent. Matt and I would text everysingle day and hang out and I can say I liked him but... he was talking to another girl. That was in the summber. In the fall we both dated other people. We seemed to split at the same time in the winter and both of our break ups were pretty rough and I guess we helped eachother through it... That was around winter break. Since winter break we text like everysingle day. I mean it... everyday. Everyone used to say we were "secretly dating" But...
THE PROBLEM:
I don't know how I feel about Matt now... I think I like him... I really do because I'm getting jealous that he's now talking to this girl at another school. I just wish I knew what we are or were or whatever... But I think it's too late to talk to him about it. I mean he said himself that he and this girl were NOT a thing but that he "kinda" likes her and that he wants them to start talking and they're going on a double date... I just feel like that he might be leading me on... If I DO feel that way about him. Because we talk all the time, he's extremely flirty and touchy, he asked me to prom... but at the same time he refuses to be alone with me. We've never kissed or held hands reeeeally... I just don't know what to do! I just want to yell and him and be like ARE YOU STUPID?? ARE YOU REALLY THAT OBLIVIOUS?? HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT I LIKE YOU?!?! It's really getting to me... Please helpppp me. (link)
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I had the same problem with a guy recently. Maybe I can help you deal with it better than I did :) Maybe you should just sit down with him (since you said that you guys have been close in the past) and ask him what he really wants with you. Be careful, because this might put him on the spot and make him defensive, but on the other hand, he might actually tell you what he wants. Look up his asterology sign, because that might help you to know what he'll do if cornered with a question :) hope that helped!
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Ok, so im 15/f and im having issues with this guy I know (no names). So he moved here like a year and a half ago, and quickly joined my group of friends. We were friends for a while and i really started to like him, well as it turned out so did my best friend. She told me she was going to ask him out and being the stupid girl i am thinking i had no chance with him said go for it. Well they dated for three months (which killed me!!!!) and broke up. Me and him then went back to being tight, like spandex.
We would meet up every day and talk none stop, mainly about how much he missed my best friend. Me once again being the stupid person thinking i had to be a good friend put my feelings aside and listen to him about her and tried to get them back together. That didnt work and he finally got over it.
So for the past six or seven months we have been even closer. We talk non-stop and are always joking with each other. When ever a friend or adult says we should stop flirting and go out, he blushes and rambles on and on. I dont know because he is always wanting to be with me (like hanging out and teams for school), he is always hugging me, making me laugh, ill catch him looking at me and then we both look away.
My question is "Does he like me? Did I miss my chance with him? Is there a chance for "US" or am I making the whole thing up in my head? I am seriously confused and need help to figure out what my next move is. Can anyone please help me?
PS: I dont want answers saying im too young! I know i am to young to be worry about these things but unless I know whether or not something can happen between me and him I am STUCK!Thank you for any advice given.
(link)
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I don't think you're crazy :) The one thing I caution you about getting with him is that it might hurt your best friend. If it's what your heart wants, then go for it, but don't be surprised if your best friend seems a little bit miffed for awhile. What you're describing are the tell-tale signs of a guy who really likes you! If he's what makes you happy, it's probably meant to be. Test the waters by going on a few li'l dates first, and then decide if you guys want to be one-on-one committed :) Good luck, and hope this helped!
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Can you skip your period and not be pregnant? In other words, can your period skip a month without being pregnant, or is the only explanation for a missed period pregnancy? (link)
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There are multiple reasons for this, including pregnancy, but another main cause is stress. Irregularity can also be it, because sometimes a girl can go with out one for a long period of time and then get it for a long period of time, but the cause isn't always pregnancy. Hope this helped :)
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15f
Am I too young for love? Is it bad that im only 15 and think i found the one? I love my boyfriend . He makes mee sooo hapy but my grandma doesnt agree with me. maybe because he got me pregnant. what am I to do PLEASE HELP! (link)
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One of my best friends found her true love at this age too. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe this baby is a test of how much you and this guy are truly in love, because if he loves you a lot, he'll stay with you and help raise your kid with you. It very well could be love, because who says there has to be an age limit? Some people marry their high school sweethearts!
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how old were you when you had your first "french kiss"? (link)
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I believe I was 14, freshman year. It was kind of sudden and unexpected, but it's not as bad as it sound :P
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how you know when a boy like you??and when he lies to you? (link)
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It depends on the guy usually. There are a few ways that you can tell no matter what, and they fall into catagories:
Mr. Mean:
This is the guy who would have pulled your pigtails in kindergarten. He insults you in a funny way, makes fun of you loudly or annoys you to get your attention. This is EXACTLY what he's doing:getting you to notice him.
Mr. Nice:
The obvious guy. He opens doors for you, gives random compliments, or waits for you after class.
Mr. Quiet:
He rather observes you, steals glances at you in class, looks away if you catch him, etc. These are the kind you have to talk to first.
A guy is lying if he goes around the topic, can't look you in the face, or he acts nervous and fidgety when talking about the taboo subject.
Hope this helped!
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does this work?
is it good?
is better then not haveing them at all?
can you get hurt?
how does it work? (link)
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This really doesn't work. I mean, you can go on casual dates without being exclusive or steady, but never friends with benefits. You can never go back to exactly the way things were. I did that once with a guy, and he still makes inuendos about what we used to do as a couple and still tries to kiss my forehead and stuff. It's just not right, and shouldn't be done. Do whatever you think, but it's not a good idea. Hope that helped a little :}
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my ex and i are mates.
but i dont know if he likes me one day he does the next i dont seem to matter.
i want to go out with him again, but my friend likes him also.
what should i do? (link)
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I say, never make the same mistake twice. There's a reason you broke up in the first place, and things would never be the same. I know, because I've done that a couple of times and broke up with the guys for the same reason as the first time. Things might be fine for awhile, but then when he has you again, he'll just act the same as he used to. You just don't need any more heartache right now, I think. Guy's are crazy like that :P hope that helped!
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My boyfriend is going camping this weekend with a group of friends.. part of that group of friends is his ex girlfriend..I can't go because i have to work. should i be worried? (link)
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I know I get ticked if the guy I'm dating hangs out with his ex. If you trust him, things should be fine, and if he breaks that trust, he isn't worth it anyways. If he's really into you, he shouldn't care that his ex is there. After all, she is an "ex" in the first place! I think you have nothing to worry about; it also doesn't hurt to hang with a guy bud ( that you have zero interest like that in ) just to feel like you're on the same page :)
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There is a guy that works at the same store as me but in a different department. I always catch him staring at me. I've seen him stare at me from upstairs, at our morning briefings, even he has come in on his day off once and I saw him staring at me. He seems nice but on the shy side. The looks I get are not lustful but more puppy dog looks. I have also noticed that he seems more cheerful around the other workers since I have been smiling at him and saying hi. He used to be a lot quieter and looked a bit down. Also he is taking better care of his appearance. Do you think he's interested? (link)
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I really do think he's interested. Guys stare when they find a girl attractive. They're simple creatures, and go with sight before insight first. He must think you're pretty, and if he gets happier after you've seen each other, that's a definate sign. If you like him back, try being a little bolder and see what he does. Some guys need a little reassurance that you're worth going for. Hope this helps! :)
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I'm 16 year old girl from the us. So last night I was with my boyfriend and we had a great time. I came home and went to bed and had the strangest dream. I dreamt that I made out with my best guy friend Brendan because he just broke up with his girlfriend. and I normally don't remember my dreams but i remember it in detail. and in real life he actually just broke up with her too. what did this dream mean? it doesn't make any sense to me. ive always cared about Brendan but we've always had a brother sister relationship. idk what to do.
(link)
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Sometimes, in our dreams, we bring out strong affections (as in friendships) in romantic ways (such as kissing). I know, because I had a dream like that yesterday. I think this just means that your mind knows your really close to Brendan, so this is it's way of letting it out in a dream. If I were you, I'd think nothing of it :) We can't control what we dream!
If It keeps going on like that, then I'd say to see how Brendan acts about things. Maybe your dream is showing you what it'd be like to be with Brendan, or maybe in the back of your mind there's something bugging you about your boyfriend. I'd say just watch how both act :]
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