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How can I motivate my husband to get in shape? He's too skinny.
I am quite a gym rat and my husband has no interest in any kind of workout or exercise at all. He is way too skinny for a guy and would certainly benefit from joining me at the gym occasionally.
How can I motivate him? Is there a playful way for me to show him that I have developed a lot more strength than him (I'm sure i have). I have also been doing some kickboxing and karate classes which I don't think he even knows.
Any suggestions on how I can motivate him? I'm not trying to be mean or vain. Maybe pick a play fight and put him in his place playfully?
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One thing that won't happen is you cannot force him to join you at the gym. This is definitely one of those cases of where you can lead the horse to water but not force the horse to drink.
Joining you at the gym has to be his idea, sorry but that is the way we men or wound. So you need to find away to make him think it is his idea. He may be skinny but the question is; is he under weight or not healthy? If the answer is no you will be fighting an up hill battle.
One place to start is in his doctors office. Cholesterol is a problem for many of us. If your husband has a Cholesterol problem or is borderline in this area. His doctor will tell him that a good way of controlling his Cholesterol is through exercise.
Exercise is also heart healthy. Do heart problems run in his family? If so his doctor will tell him he needs to exercise.
We are coming into summer. This is a nice time of year to take a nice long walk in the country or in a neighborhood park. Try and set a brisk pace. Walking is not only good exercise but if the pace makes him winded and not you, say nothing to him. He will see for himself how out of shape he may be in. Then it will be his decision to get in shape and possibly join you at the gym.
If you are both good swimmers. Go to a neighborhood pool and swim laps with him. You being in shape it is almost guaranteed you will swim more laps then him. Again he decides if he wants to get in shape.
All you have done is to ask him to join you in some nice summer time activities. Just you being the cunning wife that is in all wives.
I'm sure there are other things you two can do together as I described above where you do not have to say a word. The activity is a form of exercise but masked by the nature of the activity. In the end hopefully he sees for himself the need to get in shape. For your part you are safely removed from nagging him, which will only cause him to put up his protective shield of stubbornness.
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Talk to him and invite him along.
Play-fighting is a horrible idea. If he is a skinny guy, and play fighting is not an established part of your relationship, that could backfire and leave him feeling coerced and bullied.
Think about it as if your genders were reversed - would it be a good idea for a husband to try and encourage his light-weight wife to beef up by showing her how much stronger than her he is? That sounds pretty creepy right? Yeah. It's not much less creepy for a woman to do that.
Talk to him about the fun you are having in kickboxing or karate. Tell him you'd like to do it together. Or think of something else you could do together you think he'll enjoy.
This is the kind of topic where your job is to to open doors, not to make demands. 'Way to skinny for a guy' is your personal opinion, and you get to have it, but it shouldn't define his life or be used a tool to shame or coerce him.
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Everyone has their faults!
You may not like him skinny, but that's who he is. That's who you chose to marry, I'm afraid.
In my experience, guys do not like it when you try to 'transform' them into your ideal man. Because its like they're not good enough.
Going to the gym is reinforcing this message. It wont do anything for his self esteem to go to a gym and be told to 'bulk up', when he thought he was perfect in your eyes.
I'd just change his diet first. Not to be stereotypical-but if you do do the cooking, you can control what you both eat. The best foods to eat to bulk up are proteins an dairy products. Try this first.
I mean, how would you feel if your husband said to you-come on we're going to the tanning salon. Its not nice. Why not try charity running/cycling events or something?
I know you're not trying to be mean, and without knowing him its hard to assess how sensitive he may be.
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I say you make a bet with him, that you can beat him in a fight. If he loses, he has to go to the gym with you 3 times a week, and if you win, he can just go twice every other week :P
or just tell him no sex until he goes to the gym with you >:) haha!
Have fun!
~Miss Holly~
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