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letting him touch me..
Hi Im 18 and I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year our anniversary is next month. we get along just fine and haven't had sex, we respect each other about anything and just last weekend my boyfriend and were at my house my parents were gone and he came over i played guitar in front of him for a while then we ended up making out but as we started making out, all of a sudden I feel his hand going under my shirt
Trying to feel my breasts. It made me feel good but at the same time I felt like its bad I don't know if I should've said something I mean afterwards he asked me if it was ok with me and also said he wasn't ready for sex but he respects me. I don't know what to think but I love him
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Well it doesn't sound like you're ready to be that intimate yet. It's not that there is anything wrong with it, but it varies from person to person when they are ready for that kind of intimacy.
It's really good that he respects you. So at least you know you can be comfortable enough around him to let him know that you just aren't ready yet. It's not like he's going to leave you for it. If he did, he wasn't a very good guy. But you guys have been together for a year and haven't done anything so everything is fine.
When you're ready, you'll know. Just have a talk about it. Let him know you're not ready and when you are, you'll let him know.
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It sounds like you have found a great guy, someone who respects you as a person and does not see you just as a sexual object. This is rare in this day and age. He sounds like a keeper.
Some grandfatherly advice is warranted here and since I am of that age I will offer it.
First and most important in any relationship is communication. One thing none of us are is mind readers, we have to be told to know.
You need to communicate to your boyfriend what your boundaries are. If you are uncomfortable with him putting his hands under your clothing he needs to be told this. If you are uncomfortable in touching him, he needs to know this. If by chance you have decided you are saving yourself for marriage he needs to know this as well.
You both need to know what the other ones expectations are from this relationship. You are 18 and I will guess he is your age or older. This makes both of you adults. The need to communicate is something you need to learn not only for intimate situations like this but for all other situations you will find yourself in now and in the future.
The person who communicates best is the person who moves forward in life the best, in their college education, their careers and in their social life. As children our need to for good communicating skills is not that important. As we grow into young adults and throughout adulthood good communication skills becomes very important especially in intimate relationships. As this is where people who cannot communicate get hurt the most and it is not always their feelings that get hurt.
Most important communication in intimate relations is the understanding by both that NO means NO and Stop means STOP.
My advice is to have a meaningful discussion with your boyfriend concerning your views on sex and if you would consider having sex before marriage. If he is the young man you describe I believe he will respect you for being open and honest with him. He then should, and you should encourage him, to tell you his thoughts on what you said and his views on sex before marriage and any sex he has had before meeting you.
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I'm 18 too :)
It seems like you have a slight fear about sexual contact-as most people do.
Clearly, you're not ready yet, and you have to accept that that is ok. Although you're 18, it still feels quite a jump into adulthood, having sex.
Maybe he was going to fast for you? And that's ok, as long as you let him know. Obviously, he wants to move the relationship slightly further, whilst you were perhaps happy as you were.
So long as you let him know that it's not disinterest and more 'not ready', there is no issue here.
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First of all, I commend you on the fact that you've been with him for a year already and have refrained from anything close to sex! I'm 18 myself, and I know how hard it is to refrain from the pressures of sexual intimacy. It's great to hear that people still have self respect & control :-)
As far as my advice goes, it's your body, and you decide what a guy can and can't do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you enjoying being touched intimately by the man you love most, and it seems like he truly respects you. If you felt uncomfortable, make sure he knows your boundries as well as you do. If he is a good guy, he will NOT leave you because you don't feel ready yet. Just know that you did nothing wrong, and neither did he. You guys were just exploring becoming intimate, and that is just human nature.
Hope this helps, and I hope your relationship keeps staying strong!
~Miss Holly~
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