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February 27, 2005Answers:
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April 14, 2005Visitors:
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Forget rationality.Inanity is the only way to go.
advice
ok me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 7 months now, and we really love each other. i'm 15 and he is 16, and going to be 17 next month. he thinks everything is perfect in our relationship and i feel the complete opposite. like we will go out and it will be the most amazing time ever, but then he finds someone to completely ruin the magic of it all. like he will go somewhere and wont talk to me or lie about what he did etc. ( i know he lies sometimes but i dont tell him i know ) he always asks me why im upset and i just say im not and he always asks me why i dont tell him things and its because everytime i call him to talk to him about something he asks me to call him back and i have gotten so fed up with it i just dont call back anymore and then he like freaks out.. and he has been lying to me about him smoking.. and all he does is hang out with his friends.. he talks about them non stop, like i dont know if he wants me to be jealous or what.. but i guess its kind of working.. i dunno, how can i talk to him ? am i being selfish ?
- i dont want to break up with him though, i mean, i really love him, and i almost feel like i am being stupid for putting up with all that i am, but i dont know, please help :( i'll rate high
He lies because he doesn't want to upset you. Either he thinks he is getting away with it, or he thinks you know he is lying but would rather live in the delusion than challenge him on it. The simple truth is that you aren't doing yourself any favours by saying you not upset. He has taken the initiative to ask, so if you are not straight with him in response, you are lying too. It may just be that he wants you to say something so he can explain what is going on with him. Give him a chance at least. As it stands the relationship will disintegrate around you unless you do something to put it back on track. That has to be talking to him. Not on the phone either. A lot of people don't like to talk about issues on the phone. They prefer to do it face to face. So if he is avoiding getting into it on the phone, don't be too harsh on him, just give him the chance to get into it in person instead.
Okay so I went to this party last night and this guy that was there was like "why the hell are YOU here?" because I'm straight edge and I don't do drugs and stuff.. And he kept insulting me and saying crap and it really pissed me off because we have mutual friends and he thinks I'm a "loser" because I don't do drugs and drink and have sex and stuff.. So what should I do to keep myself from kicking his ass? because he's really really starting to piss me off.. And I'm going to have to deal with him for a really long time.. So yeah.. Sorry if this is long.
Why do you want to keep yourself from kicking his ass? Seems like a perfect candidate for it if you ask me.
well lately my friend has totally been flirting with my boyfriend.She knows she does it but she just shrugs it off.I hate it!!like we will be walking in the halls together and she will come right between us and rather close to him i might add.i dont wanna ruin our friendship, but me and this guy really love each other.we've been together through thick and thin.Please help me and i hope this wasn't to long.
If you and your bf do really love each other, you should be a little more confident and show your bf a little more faith and trust. She can flirt a little and although it is annoying, it isn't going to do any harm whatsoever unless your bf actually responds.
Talk to the bf about it. He is the one that is in love with you. Who cares what she does as long as he always remains faithful to you.
couple of nights ago i had sex with one of my best friends we were really into the moment and we did it without a condom i pulled out way before i came and she orgasmed and the next mornin she started her period. i know im prolly being paranoid but i always hear theres a chance of a girl being pregnant even if the guy didnt cum so if anyone knows how high the chance of her being pregnant is please tell me thank you.
There is a small chance and that is enough to cause a few headaches. However, if her period started, you seem to have got away with this one.
Chalk it up to experience and next time use a rubber!
ok there is this guy name josh and we went out over the summer then broke up a day before school started. I still like him. we havent tlaked in a while but the other day we did a little bit. Last week my friend asked him would he ever go back out with me, and he just smiled. but he has a girlfriend. Also, alst week someone asked him would he ever go out wth this girl name brooke nad he said nnooo .. but he didnt say yes or no when someone asked about me. Then wed. at church, he sat near me but not right next to me .. it went me, his friend murphy(murphy likes me) and then josh and we talked in a group for a little bit. Do you think he still likes me? what should i do? im 14 and female and i need the truth .. please dont just tell me what i want to hear .. i need to hear the truth!
I'm sure he still likes you. But at 14, life moves pretty fast. The brutal truth is that you should not waste your time even thinking about him while he has another girlfriend. I don't say this because of some moral objection or anything, but simply that if he can play one off against the other he will. Guys are like that. Instead of concering yourself whether or not he likes you, just enjoy life and if and when another guy comes long, give the new guy a chance. If this guy does like you and wants you in his life as a gf, he has to do something about it. The next move is not yours.
Hope this helped.
P.S. If he does break with his current gf and pursues you later, then decide at that time what you want. You might have found a great bf you wouldn't trade for anything in that time. Maybe you are available and interested again. Never make a decision until you have to because 1. It may never happen and 2. you never know what is going on in your life at the time until it does happen.
I had this friend since like kindergarden,and we've been like bark on a tree, 2 peas in a pod. Then now, in 7th grade, she had a scheldue with all of these super popular people, and became best friends with like all of them. I'm not jelous, but like she won't even say hi o me when she's with them. Now, I'm not like super nerd, but I'm definetly not super popular. She acts so different and stupid when she's with them. I hate her being a fake~~!
Life is like that. Sometimes it takes people in different directions and they don't hang out so much any more. OK, she is being rude by not acknowledging you when she is with her other friends but she might be struggling to fit in also. Do nothing. Don't hate her. She will wake up one day and realise that her true friends have drifted away from her perhaps. Maybe she wont. Either way there is not point spending effort hating her over it. Just get on with you own life and find some new friends.
all the boys at my school(but one)are cute in there own way and my mom say they really like me i flirted with some they flirted back but i never became closer to any of them but friends and enemys i don't know whats wrong im surronded by flirting hottys and i never get closer i feel invisable but i don't like it every one had a bf(or gf)'cept me i don't know what to do keep trying or just give up some one please help me ! ! !
~confused and lonley
How on earth would your mom know?
My best friend and I got into a fight because she lied to me about why my boyfriend broke up with me. She actually told him she was in love with him and stuff like that.. since she KNEW he also liked her. And the reason she did that was to get him to break up with me.. all because of jealousy! Well.. she finally told me the truth.. AFTER she knew 2 other people told me. She thinks im mad at her for causing him to break up with me.. but im mad because she lied.. I tried to tell her that.. and she got really defensive and blocked me. Everytime i try to talk to her at school, she walks away from me.
She and I have been friends for a few years now. I hate for our friendship to end like hers and her other best friend's did. How can I talk to her? I tried appologizing and all she said was .. "Mhm Im sure you are". How can I make her realize we are both better off with each other?
"Like hers and her other best friends"?
She obviously has trouble keeping best friends because she lies and hurts her friends motivated purely by jealousy. Personally, I don't think you are better off with her in your life at all. Find another best friend. Maybe the one that was her best friend before. Seems like she had the sense to walk away.
Ok, this boy and I have gotten to know each other pretty well over the internet. And just the other day he found out what I looked like. He had said I was pretty but I wasn't sure if he was just not trying to hurt my feelings. He says I'm not his type but when he told me what kind of girls he liked, it was exactly me. I'm not just saying this, it's VERY true. He can't really say I'm not his type because he hasn't gotten the chance to talk to me in person. By the interenet, he says my personality is awesome. He considers me a good friend. I hear that in school, he talks about me a lot. Saying I'm really cool and one of his friends. He trys to find out who my friends are in his classes so he can talk to them about me. I don't know what to do. I have only said hi to him once in person. When he sees me at school, he stares a little bit and starts talking about me to my friends. I don't know if he likes me and I just want to give everything time. I really need help. THANKS! I'll rate GREAT!
~ Stuck on Him ~
I am not sure what you need help with. You want to give everything time and it seems like things are going ok. He may have said you are not his type because maybe he isn't attracted to you in which case it may never happen. But you are not going to know unless you ask him. When you are ready, chat to him on the internet and ask him if he would like to hang out more in real life. You will get a better idea once you are talking to him in person and so will he.
Ok, my brother recently got over a drug addiction and I asked some friends how I could pull through living with it. I don't know what one of my friends went around telling people but now random people that I don't even know, come up to me and say "Are you going to be a drug addict like your brother?" I know I should ignore it but lately its been getting out of hand. I get mail telling me where hit ups are and I don't do drugs. I talked to my friends about it and they all deny it. But whenever these people shoot remarks at me, I feel like breaking down right there. But I hold it in because they want to see me that way. What should I do about this issue?
If it isn't somone that you have told before, and they just don't know, simply say you don't do drugs. Other than that, ignore it. Your brothers rep is affecting you but it only does if you let it. After a wehile it will settle down when everyone realises they are wasting their time.
My boyfriend always got love notes from his gfs and we were talking yesterday and he said I was the only girl who never wrote him any love notes so I was wondering what do you write in love notes other then I love you because I tired to write one but I dont think it turned out to be anything like a love note soif you can please help me out thx ill rate if ud like
Love notes should do more than say "I love you", they should say why or what it is you love about him or how that love makes you feel. That adds substance to it.'
I'm probably going to get flamed for this one ( I shouldn't blab my secrets), but when I have been really stuck for something to write on a card or letter, I cheat. Jump on the Internet and look up the lyrics of some B-side single of some obscure pop band from the 1950's. Then copy one of the verses of the lyrics. I would usually avoid the chorus as that is more likely to be remembered by someone and usually gets more repetitive. You are bound to get away without it being recognised.
OK, so maybe that is a really cheap nasty lying false way to get laid...but I'm a guy so we use tricks like that.
I started dating this guy when I was fifteen who was eighteen. He and I were together for a year and two months....partially because I ran away with him for five of them. Well, this last December I had his child and my mom and I won't let him have any part of it. But since he was eighteen, I just want to make sure that in two years when I'm eighteen he can't try to fight for custody. Would he have any rights over my son?
He is the father of the child no matter what age you both are.
If you do not have any court order granting you sole custody, it is up to him to contest this any time he likes.
Besides, as much as you and your mom might not like him, he might just be very different with his child. Why not let him have the chance?
well i'm 13 and i'm a female and i totally broke out on my forehead and i have a dance coming up!! i need help on how to get rid of it fast!! any advice or suggestions? also, is it because i ate chocolate or like junk foods? (i've heard that the reason people break out...)ThAnkS fOr uR HeLp!!! *i RaTe*
There is plenty of advice below on what you can do.
My only comment is that stress is a much bigger cause of skin problems than occasional junk food. If you are nervous about the dance coming up and then stress even more about having broken out, you're only making it more difficult. Try and do you best to relax. slow even breathing if you feel yourself getting tense or thinking too much.
my boyfriend always fingers me and eats me out but the problem is i never have an orgasm. i was wondering why that is or if theres anything i can do to have one?
14/f
Without getting embarrassed, woudl you mind telling us if you are able to give yourself an orgasm? Many girls/women have difficulty achieving this, at least until they are a fair bit older.
Also, as the others say, give him some guidance on when he is getting it right and when he isn't. Be nice about it. If you make him feel like he is no good at it and wound his ego, he will break up with you and label you as a frigid b**ch just to save his own ego. He may be too young to really know but every single woman is different. There is no guaranteed way for him to know what will work for you and what wont. So it really really isn't any fault of his or his technique. Make sure he undertstands that. Just tell him that "Oh that feels great but it feels even better when you did.......". Then you can guide him without making his feel like he was doing anything wrong.
I feel like my life can't get any lower. Everything I was good at I am no longer good at. No matter how hard I try people are always a lot better. My grades are slipping and nothing I do makes me happy. I hate my life and I just want to stay in my room and be alone forever. What do I do?
Try prozac. OK, just kidding, well maybe not entirely.
As you get further in life you realise that you are an ever smaller fish swimming in a bogger ocean. Such is reality and the destruction of our childhood dreams. I never became an astronaut, an airline pilot or the pope, all which I had in mind at one time or another when I was young. I went from being the best in my class when young, to being mediocre at college.
But I found other things as I went on. By now I realise that I am not going to save the world and be hailed as a hero. But I also know that a lot of people consider me to be a good friend as I help them if and when I can and I try not to backstab them or do them harm. Even if I do, I apologise and we usually end up being even closer friends. I have had a number of women in my life that have genuinely loved me and I loved them. Those things have become far more important to me than my aspirations when I was growing up.
Try looking at life a little differently and settle on being a good person rather than achieving some goal you set when you were young.
Having said all this, there are times in our life when we get down on ourselves and it is really hard to pick up again. Depression is a mental illness that affects far more than those that are diagnosed and recieve treatment. If there is no fundemental problem behind it, often a course of prozac or something is all you need to lift you up again, reset yourself and continue on never needing them again. So do not discount the option of seeking help if you can't find the right inspiration from within.
this is kinda imbarrasing to ask... but i gotta know. i shave down there, ya know? and well sometimes it gets gross. i usually wait like 2 days before doin it again, but i dont know its wierd. and sometimes it even bleeds! OH! and i get these little red bumps. is this normal? is there somethin i can do to make this stop?
thanks in advance!
A little advice one of my gf's got from a woman that does brazilian waxing as part of her job:
It is normal to get some irritation from shaving. The first thing most women do is put moisturiser on it. In fact, this is about the worst thing you can do. It actually raises the rash from shaving even more. You are better putting on another type of gel. She suggested a manuka and honey medicated gel ( and she wasn't selling it so don't think the advice was clouded by a commission on the sale of it). Not sure if you would get that in the US though. But try ringing around local shops that provide waxing for bikini lines etc and see what they suggest.
theres this guy i like alot bu hes liked this other igrl since 1st grade and they are going out and before he found out she liked him he liked me and i miss him soo much i cant stop thinking of him and i dont think it will ever happen (us going out) but i like him alot alot and i wish something would take my mind off him but nothing does...if my friends say something I somehoe link it to him and the girl hes pging out w/ is like one of my good friends and she know i like him
(7th grade)
...and your question was?
Just relax and enjoy the rest of your life. You are in 7th grade. By 8th grade you will probably be really into someone else, he will have split with his current gf, but you will think he is a jerk for the way he treated her and not want anything to do with her. If you want to take your mind of him, start opening your mind to others. Maybe you will find someone you like a whole lot more.
ok my boyfriend invited me over to his house to watch a movie and his parents were not home. and about half way in the movie he leaned over and kissed me and we started making out and them he took all of my clothes off and we started having sex it was so much fun!!! My friends were all asking what happend at his house should i tell them?
No.
You may trust your friends, but I am willing to beat they don't deserve that trust. It will be all over school within a day. Some bits of information are just too tempting for people to keep as a secret.
ok i was dateing this 21 year old guy and i fell in love with him but then i had to move away and then i came back where he lives and we live in the same home but he has another girlfriend and now i want him back but i don't know how
How about telling him your bisexual and want to fool around with him and his new gf. That should break the ice.
Otherwise stop trying to "get" him. He has moved on and so should you. You cannot make anyone love you. They just do or not.
Alright heres the situation. I am in love with my boyfriend call him Brayden, I'm honestly in love with him. We dated for two months over the summer and then broke up. Today is our one month anniversry and I know that I love him. We live a state or two away from each other but we can't deny our love for each other. I just went to a new high school becuase i moved away from my old one and I met my friend, lets call him Josh. Well me and Josh have gotten really close we're not best friends but we know almost everythign about each other. He's the first person I see when I go into school and I find my heart begin to race as I think about seeing him. He's ussually the last thing I think about at night and the first when I awake. He's the only one I really talk to at my school becuase I drifted from my other friends and he jsut got over this one girl he liked. I helped him get through it telling him that if she doesn't see what a great guy he is and how amazing he is then its her loss and he deserves way better. I have been there for him though all his problems and vice versa. During the 4 months I didn't date Brayden I was in deep deep like with Josh then i stopped liking him when Brayden asked me out again becuase I was still in love with Brayden. I know its really confusing but I love Brayden but I deeply like Josh. Brayden's a state or two away and Josh is right there in my school. What should I do? .... ((Josh doens't like me, He goes for the skinny preppy girls and im a bit on the heavy side, but not real big and i'm a bit punkish ... 15/f))
This isn't the movies. The guy that doesn't love you doesn't suddenly realise he does love you when he gets hit on the head by a football. Josh isn't into you, Brayden is. What an earth are you confused about? By the way, what kind of gay name is Brayden?