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I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 50055

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Xenolan
okay i know this is totally gross but someone please help me. The thing is i had sex with my boyfriend while i was on my period and after i got home it smelled really bad i mean my period was still on but it just smelled horrible i used a douce and brown bloody looking stuff came out i know this is totally gross but i need help.. (link)
Sex on your period is a matter between you and your guy. If you don't think it's gross, then it's not! You should still use birth control, though, if you don't want to get pregnant or risk possible STDs. So, the smell will likely go away within 2-3 days. Be sure to shower. The douche bringing brown bloody looking stuff is probably normal. Period can look like that and it's possible that something in the douche caused the blood to clot. You shouldn't douche, though. Your vagina has its own way of cleaning itself. If you *have* to rinse out, I would suggest nothing except warm water, like if you have a hand-held shower head, you could use it to irrigate things down there. Even that, though, could dry out your natural lubrication and cause an imbalance of the normal, healthy bacteria that grow inside you. See a doctor if it stays smelly for more than a few days.

Sabine


I'm 13, and my mom and dad are total assholes. My mom is a drug addict who is always in jail, and my dad does pot. My mom is currently out of jail, but I still don't want to associate with her. I don't even talk to my dad. My dad visits every so often and I go to my room, because my brother still wants to see him (he's younger and still has that 'my-dad's-the-best-and-he's-superman' view) My aunt and uncle think its rude and hateful that I don't think my mom is going to to quit drugs and that I refuse to talk to her. But she has been doing drugs for 6 years (7 on the 23rd) and I used to think she was going to quit, but I don't anymore. I'm tired of opening up and letting her in, when all she does is break me again. I don't know if this is wrong or not, do you think it is? (link)
Trust is earned. It is not something that you owe your mother just because she's your mother. She had your trust when you were 6 years old and she decided that doing drugs was more important than taking care of her kids. That being said, I think it would be nice if you were to support your mom's efforts to get clean. It would be sweet and giving if you were to speak with her about the weather, television shows, etc. and it would feel better, I'm sure if you didn't talk to her about anything personal. Since your mom is in the legal system so often, has anyone offered you counseling? I think that you probably could use a social worker or counselor who can help you define your boundaries. That might help you to protect yourself while appearing more compassionate to your parents. From what you have said, though, you have every right to be angry.

Sabine


okay..heres the thing.

i had a boyfriend for 2 and 1/2 years. i love him from the bottom of my heart, and i know he loves me. we wanted to get married but his mom was against it. so we just stayed kind of stuck.

then a couple weeks ago a guy came to ask for my hand (different culture), and i tlked with my bf about it and he practically told me to marry the guy. he was sad and depressed and dint want to, but he wants me to be happy.

so i sai yes. and now 4 weeks later..im soooooo unsure. i'm still in love with my bf. and i dnt know how to back out of this. or if i should.

i mean i can't be 100% certain that my bf's mom will say yes to me. but i can be certain that my fiance wil provide everything for me and be thre for me. but i just dont know if i love him. i dont know if i can.

i just dont know what to do. i dont know how to back out if i wanted to..i mean everyone is happy and making plans.

sigh. i just need some advice. (link)
Ugh. I don't know how your culture deals with engagements and broken engagements. In the general American culture, I'd say that your best bet is to let your fiance know that you admire and respect him and you're so glad you he asked you, but that your heart belongs to another and you could never give him the kind of love he deserves. Then I'd work on trying to get my boyfriend's mom to change her mind. Not knowing why she thought you shouldn't marry, I or knowing your specific cultural traditions, it's hard to be more specific. This is the truth, however. You cannot make yourself love your fiance. You may grow to love him and maybe not. If you can't be true to yourself you won't be happy. You may as well stop this immediately so that people don't get their hopes up and their non-refundable deposits made. It's a tough situation.

Sabine


I start school in 2 days. The problem is that I am pregnant and my morning sickness is horrible. (It really shouldn't be called morning sickness, it should be called ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG sickness but I digress). I have tried everything to not throw up all the time and so far, nothing is working. All my classes are far away from bathrooms so I won't have the luxury of being close to a toilet.

Does anyone have home remedies that work? Or experience managing morning sickness?

Any help is appreciated. (link)
Yuck! Been there, done that. Here are some tips. First, you should let your teachers know that you may need to leave class suddenly. If that happens, hopefully they won't try to stop you. If you can't make it out the door, try to be near the trashcan. If you can't even do that, carry around a grocery bag to barf in and a clean shirt in your bag or locker. I know, it sounds gross, but it's a lot better than wearing your own vomit. In order to not get to that point, there are some things you can do. Make sure you are well hydrated. Drink water as much as you can without going overboard. Drink Coke or ginger ale or whatever else feels good. Avoid things that are acidic like orange juice and pasta sauces and maybe avoid caffeine (depends on the person). Eat saltine or soda crackers when you get queasy if it helps. If you need energy but can't stomach food, try Ensure or Boost. Take your prenatal vitamin with a little food or milk if it upsets your stomach. I actually had to go on Flintstones Chewables (2/day) because the prenatal vitamin made me so sick.

If you feel like you're gonna hurl, get to a bathroom or recepticle. Then try opening your mouth wide and breathing. You can't gag and breathe at the same time, so breathing deeply sometimes helps.

Other than that, there's an accupressure point on the underside of your wrist that sometimes helps. You can just push on your wrist just below where your palm starts. Some people find that helpful. If that does work for you, some pharmacies sell elastic bracelets with little knob things that put pressure on that point for people who are travelling or have morning sickness. Know that 'morning' sickness tends to diminish later in the pregnancy. Carry around a bottle of water if you can and either some of those Oral B Brush-up (finger tooth brush things) or Listerine dissolving strips.

It's so worth it when you get to the end, but I'm sorry you're so sick. :(

Sabine


A couple of days ago my best friend asked my boyfriend if he smoked and he told her that he used to, but quit and still has cravings every now and then. I have smelled smoke on him several times, but just figured that he was hanging around his friends who smoke and the scent lingered on him. Several of our mutual friends tell me that he smokes though. He never told me that he didn't smoke, but he never told me straighforward that he smokes either. Everyone knows that I don't like smoking, so he must have known that I would disapprove of it. I just don't know what to do. Oh and we have only been going out for about two weeks. (link)
What you do is that you say point-blank that you need to know (when you two are alone) whether he is smoking, even sometimes. If he says no, you trust him until you hear otherwise or taste it in his kiss. If he says yes or refuses to answer the question, then you have to decide whether this is a deal-breaker for you. If you disapprove of smoking, you probably already know that it can affect not only his health, but also the health of anyone who hangs around him while he's smoking, including you. There's no point to being in a relationship with someone who hides things like this from you. So figure out what you would do if he admitted to smoking. Then, ask him in a very open, honest way. If he does smoke and you can't handle it, you should let him know that as much as you like him and think he's cute, it's just not going to work between the two of you.

Sabine


Hey... I've been thinking lately. This isn't meant to be inflammatory or argumentative, I'd just like different opinions.

How could heaven be heaven if you know that 4 billion people are roasting in Hell just because they picked the wrong religion? I don't get that... I mean, if I were in heaven and I knew that, it would be Hell for me. And I know you can say, "well they chose wrong", but that doesn't seem to me like a reason for endless pain and suffering. There are perfectly good people down there. Thoughts? (link)
That's a good question. And what about the babies who die before they're baptized? And the ones who lived before Jesus came/Muhammed came/Buddha came?
The Mormon religion actually has a ceremony where they can convert a person to Mormonism after s/he is dead. So imagine you had the correct religion and some well-meaning Mormon converts you and you're jerked out of heaven for being the wrong religion? I comfort myself by thinking that God cares more about what we have done with our lives - how we have lived and treated others - than he cares about what book we read or whether we recited the prayers or what religious symbol we wore.

Good luck in finding what you think. The responsible search for truth is the most important part of faith to me.

Sabine


Ok, a long time ago I vagly remember someone telling me that when you get your period, its not actually real blood. But I only heard that once, everyone else like my health teacher just said blood and stuff. So is it actually blood or something else? (link)
"Menstrual fluid is actually made up of several components other than blood including endometrial cells, cervical mucus and vaginal secretions (5). The amount of menstrual fluid lost also differs between individuals but generally, a woman loses between 50-100ml of fluid."

In case you're curious, a teaspoon is 5 ml and one ounce is 30 ml.

Stolen from www.womenhealth.org.au


ok i told my mom about how i think i need to go because of the cramps and i said gross stuff is coming out of me and like i feel like i cant really breath. she said the cramps are because get all that period stuff a week before you have it and a week after you have it. the gross stuff is from "what im eating" which i didnt really believe. and i cant really breath because of "the weather". does what she said sound right to you? she's going to the doctor on monday for like blood tests or something so i asked if i could go if i still feel like this and she said i dont know. the whole time she acted like she didnt want to talk about it like always. so anyways, would my regular doctor be able to help me? or would i havvve to go to those gyn doctors? and like everytime i go he asks if im sexually active so what should i tell him? will he tell my mom? and what if my moms in the room? (link)
Eesh girl. Is this still going on? If so, I don't know what you could do. Is there a planned parenthood in your town? Can you talk to the school nurse? Usually you can go to your regular family doctor or pediatrician for this. If he asks you if you're sexually active, tell him you don't want to answer until you find out what the consequences would be. I don't know if that will work, but it depends on the doctor, your age, and whether the doctor feels you will suffer more harm by him not informing your parent. If your mom comes with you to the appointment, tell her that you want to see the doctor alone. If that doesn't work, tell her in front of the doctor that you want to speak to him alone. He should then ask her to leave (from what I've seen working with doctors). It is essential to your health that you are able to speak openly with your doctor about what's going on. Otherwise, he is limited in the kinds of help he can offer you. You may need to choose between your desire to get better and get over this issue and staying with the boyfriend. I wish I had an easy, clear-cut answer for you. Hang in there.

Sabine


13/male

is my "sperm tube" connected to my "blatter tube"....because sperm comes out the same hole as my pee does right? so are they connected? (link)
What I think Alex is trying to tell you is that the tube that goes from your testicles to your penis and carries sperm goes through your urethra, which is the opening of the penis. It joins up with the urethra after the urethra leaves the bladder. This picture shows it, but ignore the severed vas deferens (this is an educational picture about vasectomy, or the big snip-snip).

http://www.vasectomymedical.com/images/afternew.jpg

So the urethra, or hole in your penis, can only be used for urine or for sperm at a given time. They use the same hole, but they take turns. Make sense?

Sabine


hi...i had sex for the first time last week and now one week later ive started my periods as expected but its so much more painfull than before and mostly when i urinate,also it smells so much now,could it be because of breaking my virginity or just the periods (link)
You likely have a bladder infection or a vaginal yeast infection. This can happen, regardless of sex. You need to see a doctor. Now that you're sexually active, here's a tip. Right after sex, empty your bladder. That will help keep bacteria from traveling up your urethra to your bladder and colonizing it. Foul odor and pain on urinating are signs you need to see the doctor, though.

Sabine


Okay I am a christian and I want to go to a christian college, but my dad dosn't believe in God and he knows I want to go to the college and tonight he told me that I should forget about it. He said that if I go there I will get married and marry a someone from there and he isn't gonna like my dad because he isn't a christian or something like that. I know they aren't like that. He thinks all of this is dumb. He said that his daughter is going to grow up and become a pastor's wife. When I go to college he isn't gonna feel great like my daughter went to this college! My mom will but my dad won't. I was crying today since he said that today and I hate it! Please help me and I'm sorry it was so long. (link)
Well, honey, it's not up to your Dad where you go to college. You can make up your own mind about that. But there are consequences. You may be able to fund your education through scholarships. You may be able to get student loans (though the government is going to ask for your Dad's tax records and they are going to say that he has an expected contribution amount). Are you willing to forgo your parents' help in order to go to this college? It'd be a tough decision to make. I went to a university with scholarships. My Dad wanted me to live at home and go to the local community college. It was a struggle, but I did it and I did it on my own. I hope you can figure out a way to get what you want without hurting your relationship with your dad.

Sabine


my boobs are getting bigger and bigger ... and i want them to be smaller! ...is there any way to get them to lose a cupsize without surgery? (link)
Your breasts are a main store of body fat. If you want them to get smaller, you usually have to lose a significant amount of body weight. That's the only way without hormones or surgery.

Sabine


i love getting high.Because i have alot of stress and depression but i dont tell people about it.So i get high to help me out.If i dont have pot i'll freak out an i'll act like im bipolor.What should i do?Should i just get help?Or should i get high anyways because pot doesnt really hurt me but just controll myself????? (link)
Well, I think that the bigger issue here is not the legality or morality of using marajuana. It's the fact that you're self-medicating for a problem. Go get the problem (stress and depression) taken care of. See your family doctor. After you get that taken care of, if you choose to light up a fat one, then you can do so recreationally, without worrying that you are covering up an underlying illness. Of course, that's assuming you're not taking any meds which could be affected by the mary jane. You can also talk to your doctor about this. You can ask 'what if I used marajuana?' (I wouldn't say outright that you are using it.) Docs usually don't report to law enforcement and may not write it in your medical record. I don't know whether they'd have to tell parents if you're a minor. But you should take care of the root issue.

Sabine


My girlfriend OD'd last night. she took 4 lortabs & 4 kutecs(thats a perscription).she also took 1600 mgs of ibuprofen.she thinks that lortabs were expired because when she opened the bottle, it smelt bad.she became really dizzy, broke out into a major cold sweat, threw up 4 times,tight feeling in chest, and periodic headaches. its been 24 hours and she still is somewhat dizzy, and still has headaches in the back and sides of her head.
how can she get better?
how can i help her? (link)
Okay...

Lortab is hydrocodone with Tylenol. If the narcotics were going to kill her, they would likely have killed her right away. She probably didn't get a toxic dose of the Tylenol component according to the online Merck Manual.

http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec24/ch297/ch297b.html

1600 mg of Ibuprofen are enough to cause internal bleeding in some people. I don't know what Kutec could be except Ketek, an antibiotic. The bottom line is that I don't think she took anything that would be fatal at this point, but you should call poison control NOW and do *EXACTLY* what they say, including taking her to the E.R.! 1-800-222-1222. She needs mental help. And if she ever does this again, DO NOT WAIT. Please. It's her life on the line here and she's asking you for help, even if she says she doesn't want it.

Sabine


lyrics/quotes about divorce? (link)
Here's another:

http://www.tsrocks.com/k/
kenny_loggins_texts/the_real_thing.html

Sabine


I have 2 best friends. One of them has been getting on my last nerve constantly lately. She always thinks she is right, and she is kinda over weight a lot, and she wears tight jeans and low cut shirts, and she's like.. "my boobs are so big, those guys keep looking at them" no they arent that big, its that she's kinda a lot fat. I dont mean to be mean, but she's fat, and very much overweight, and my other friend and I are just sick of her bragging all the time that she thinks guys are checking her out, when really the way she is dressing is drawing attention to her fat... and thats all.

what do i do? (link)
She's doing that because she's insecure. She can't pretend she's a girl anymore. She probably wears tight clothes because she can't accept the fact that the size she needs is a higher number. She may be in denial about how big she is. Many girls who do this think their boobs are all they have and they show off their 'curves' to get attention. I don't think I'd say anything to her about it. You can just not react when she says things like that and try to change the subject. Someone, some day, is going to tell her that she's really fat, not sexy. When that day comes around, are you going to be her friend? Is she a good friend in other ways? If so, just try to accept this flaw. If not, try to distance yourself from her, especially if she seems to be using her body to get attention (ie becoming a slut).

Sabine


wat does C/P mean? (link)
Can you give us more information on context? Where do you see/hear it? It could be a medical abbreviation, like chest pain. It could mean crayon/pencil. Who knows? If you can give us more hints, we can probably give you better answers. :)

Sabine


Okay so I'm a freshman in college. Thursdays and Fridays are the longest days for me because I have a 3 1/2 hour and then a 1 1/2 our class on Thursdays and a 6 hour class on Fridays. I never eat breakfast because I'm never hungry when I wake up and I can't stand eating when I'm not hungry. When I get to school I usually buy like a 16 ounce coffee with a little bit of cream and sugar and maybe have a cigarette or two as the day progresses, but I don't eat until I get home. I think it may be because of all the caffeine and lack of physical movement, but whenever I'm in class on these days I'm extremely shaky and jumpy and twitchy and dizzy and restless and stammery...it's so weird and I hate it! What could be causing this? How can I avoid feeling like this during long classes like this?

P.S. I usually have to have coffee to be able to stay awake during the day. I get about 6 hours of sleep every night maximum because I have problems with falling asleep. (link)
I'd try a 1/2 caf coffee. Take something with you to eat. Usually I don't feel hungry until after I've eaten a little something. It doesn't have to be big. Like one of those clementine oranges or some crackers or something. You may be experiencing the side effects of caffeine or you may be having blood sugar fluctuations. Either way, I'd also speak with a doctor about a sleep aid. Good luck!

Sabine


My grandmother just passed away, and our family needs music to play at her service. I need at least more than one song, please. Any slow music, even with good lyrics would be really good.

Thanks! (link)
The Dance by Garth Brooks


what exactally is 69, i thought i knew but my friendd told me it wasnt waht i thought. (link)
okay. See the 6 and 9. The circles are the heads of two people having sex. Their faces are in each other's crotches. It's mutual oral stimulation.

Sabine




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