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he smokes?!
A couple of days ago my best friend asked my boyfriend if he smoked and he told her that he used to, but quit and still has cravings every now and then. I have smelled smoke on him several times, but just figured that he was hanging around his friends who smoke and the scent lingered on him. Several of our mutual friends tell me that he smokes though. He never told me that he didn't smoke, but he never told me straighforward that he smokes either. Everyone knows that I don't like smoking, so he must have known that I would disapprove of it. I just don't know what to do. Oh and we have only been going out for about two weeks.
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You haven't been going out for too long, so I don't see this as a huge deal. You can't really get mad at him. He didn't tell you he smoked, but he didn't tell you that he didn't either. So technically, you can't really be mad. But just talk to him about it. That's the best you can do.
♥T!NA
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Don't jump to any conclusions. It's possible that he was only around his smoker friends when he came over smelling like smoke. At this point, you can't get upset with him because, like you said, he's never lied about not smoking. If you want to know the truth, why not bring it up with him & ask him yourself? In the event he does admit he smokes, don't overreact. I know you disapprove of it, but I wouldn't dump him on that reason alone if your relationship is going well. Just let him know your stand on smoking & decide what to do from there. :)
Also another dead give away of a smoker: He may be able to hide the scent in his clothes & in his breath. But unless he just spent 5 minutes scrubbing his fingers with soap before he sees you everytime, his fingers will smell like smoke.
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What you do is that you say point-blank that you need to know (when you two are alone) whether he is smoking, even sometimes. If he says no, you trust him until you hear otherwise or taste it in his kiss. If he says yes or refuses to answer the question, then you have to decide whether this is a deal-breaker for you. If you disapprove of smoking, you probably already know that it can affect not only his health, but also the health of anyone who hangs around him while he's smoking, including you. There's no point to being in a relationship with someone who hides things like this from you. So figure out what you would do if he admitted to smoking. Then, ask him in a very open, honest way. If he does smoke and you can't handle it, you should let him know that as much as you like him and think he's cute, it's just not going to work between the two of you.
Sabine
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