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HUGE DILEMMA!!
okay..heres the thing.
i had a boyfriend for 2 and 1/2 years. i love him from the bottom of my heart, and i know he loves me. we wanted to get married but his mom was against it. so we just stayed kind of stuck.
then a couple weeks ago a guy came to ask for my hand (different culture), and i tlked with my bf about it and he practically told me to marry the guy. he was sad and depressed and dint want to, but he wants me to be happy.
so i sai yes. and now 4 weeks later..im soooooo unsure. i'm still in love with my bf. and i dnt know how to back out of this. or if i should.
i mean i can't be 100% certain that my bf's mom will say yes to me. but i can be certain that my fiance wil provide everything for me and be thre for me. but i just dont know if i love him. i dont know if i can.
i just dont know what to do. i dont know how to back out if i wanted to..i mean everyone is happy and making plans.
sigh. i just need some advice.
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i am not old enough to be married yet but i had plans to get married also. i dated the guy for 2 1/2 years also and we were very much in love. i now have a new boyfriend and he has a girlfriend hes deeply in love with. but there is no way i would talk about marriage with my new guy bc im still sooooo much in love with my ex. so my advice to you would be do NOT marry this new guy. you cant truly be happy and in love with him until you get over the ex.
it is not fair to the other guy either for you to be unsure. i hope you find answers to this :)
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Ugh. I don't know how your culture deals with engagements and broken engagements. In the general American culture, I'd say that your best bet is to let your fiance know that you admire and respect him and you're so glad you he asked you, but that your heart belongs to another and you could never give him the kind of love he deserves. Then I'd work on trying to get my boyfriend's mom to change her mind. Not knowing why she thought you shouldn't marry, I or knowing your specific cultural traditions, it's hard to be more specific. This is the truth, however. You cannot make yourself love your fiance. You may grow to love him and maybe not. If you can't be true to yourself you won't be happy. You may as well stop this immediately so that people don't get their hopes up and their non-refundable deposits made. It's a tough situation.
Sabine
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