VainTaraLynn's advice column

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Q: I have this friend and she hangs out with me all the time and stuff but shes kinda mean to me and sometimes it gets to the point where im so sad that i cry . what should i do?

If you dont want to totally ditch her as a friend, I really think t hat you should tell her how you feel. tell her that what she does really hurts you, and you'd appreciate it if she'd be nicer to you. If she doesnt stop than it seems like it would be best for you to drop her as a friend, it seems pretty harsh but you dont need someone thats going to make you cry and feel bad about yourself, in your life. =(

Q: 15/f if that helps..
The other day I was changing because I had just gotten out of the shower. My best friend (a guy) was coming over. I was just in my bra & underwear when he got to my house. My mom let him go to my room, because there hasn't been anything going on with us in the past, so she's not concerned. Well, he opened the door and saw me in just my undergarments. It's really not a big deal. but he's acting all weird about it like "hehehe i saw your underwear" and won't let it go. he didn't even apologize when he saw me he just like stared for a minute. SO how can I get him back to acting normal?!?!?! He is being such a jerk and won't cut it out.
If anybody has any advice as to get him to stop acting to stupid please, do tell!!!
thanks

Tell him that you dont see the big deal about him seeing you in your underwear, and you wish he would drop it because you dont like that to be the subject of every conversation. Tell him to stop being so immature about it, and to get over it. =)

Q: is there any way to find out who's buddy lists your on on aim?

I dont think there is, I do know theres some type of illegal program for that, but it involves hacking and thats illegal, so stay away from that =), but nope sorry hun theres no legal way of knowing that.

Q: does anyone know where to learn how to make a css sheet for xanga? and does paint help at all?

All a css sheet for xanga is is a bunch of codes put together in a certain order. You can find HTML codes for that stuff on createblog.net or blogring.net -- try both. They give you starter tips on making a code, and it has a bunch of things you need such as date, blog, banner, and left side modules. good luck.

Q: It's not that i need a boyfriend it's just i want one.
my ? is not gonna be how do i get a bf really fast. but how can i find someone who can be really special to me but as a friend first?
oh yea in my school
Thanks
15 yr old girl

Just start meeting new people, and establish friendships with new people, then when you find someone thats a friend to you, that you think you would like to establish a relationship with, start to do things that you would if you were more than a friend and seen if he makes those advances also.

Q: How do you make words bigger or bold or italics and everything on myspace? like on "about me" or "general" or whatever. kthnx!

text here bolds text
 text here italisizes it
 text here underlines it

[ just take out the spacez before and after the 's \

Q: I am kind of sad because all of my friends have a b/f and I dont...... I know it sounds child like but it has been this way for a year now... I mean I am not the best looking but I still want someone.... idk what I should do..... btw 15/female

It doesnt sound childish, everyone wants to love and be loved, but before you can do that you have to accept yourself for who you are and realize that you dont need to have a boyfriend to be happy and to feel good about yourself. Everyone is beautiful in their own special way, and some day a guy is going to come along and realize how beautiful of a person you are. just hang in there, and remember having a boyfriend isnt everything. =)! xoxo

Q: Aight, I just had my first taste of love, and now, I'm pissed off at people who look for just sex appeal or hotness. That's not true love, it's just how they look. How can I get un-pissed without seeing a therapist? Thanks, and by the way, I give 1s to wiseasses.

Well sweetie, that makes me mad also, but you have to understand that you cant change how other guys / girls look at people. You cant change how shallow people are, or how they view members of the opposite sex. I wish I could, and Im sure you do too, but try not to worry about it. The only thing you should worry about is you, and how you think and view things like that. Thats all that matters, and find a guy that views things the same as you, and your good to go. Its truly not worth getting upset about =).

Q: i think im fat ive always thought that i was fat eversince i was like 11 and now im 14. my weight dont matter its just that i have a lil bit of stomach. im not scared to wear tight shirts no more accually i just started being confortable with what i look like,like 1 month ago. but he wants to see my stomach and im scared to show him because i dont know if he will think im fat. i have love handles and i dont like them. is there anything i can do like exercises. because my boyfriend works out like lifts weights and stuff and he has a 6 pack. i just want to be skinny like most gurls. just not too skinny. can you help me? any kind of advise is great! thanx so much! if i dont get this stomach away i think i might just take a knife and cut it off! just joking but i do want to do that sumtimes! sorry so long! hope you can help

i rate high

always kayla

If your boyfirend really likes you / loves you, it wont matter what your stomach looks like. He'll like/love you for your personality, not for what your looks are. =) & if you do end up showing him your stomach, and he breaks up with you for it, than he really wasnt worth your time anyways. If you want to lose the baby fat though, try doing crunches and sit ups, because it works the abb muscles. and will help you lose it and tone.

Q: i'm just wondering, who would you guys recommend as giving the best advice??? like you could say people on the top rated columnists but i want ones from other people's personal opinions. thanks!

Im not trying to sound conceited by any means, but Im going to be studying psychology and all of these things in college, and ive already taken a bunch of courses for it. Im new to this site and alot of people have said that I give good advice, but Ive seen alot of other peoples sites on here, and they are also extremely good with this sort of stuff. Just look around and read peoples columns, and see who anweres the topics that relate to you, best.

Q: ok well me and my ex-bf got back together this is the 3rd time we have gone out we always broke up for like 2-3 months and we got back together..and hes always with his friends he barly calls me just when hes at home..but hes NEVER home and when he is his friends are there..i want 2 talk 2 him just me and him..i think hes going to cheat on me i dont know what to do!! heLp me please !!!

sweetie, TELL HIM THAT. Tell him that you would really love to just tlak to him when hes alone and not with his friends, ask him to set aside a time frame that you two could hang out or talk on the phone, and see what he says to that. If your afraid that hes going to cheaton you, tell him that too, but dont make it seem like your accusing him and you dont trust him. Make sure he knows that you do, just tell him that your unsure because of how hes never home. Also, if he doesnt make any time for you, you might want to consider finding someone that will, because whats the point of having a boyfirend if you never see him and spend time with him. its about the equivelant of being single.

Q: i really want to get the area between my bottom lip & chin peirced (like christina aguilera has) does anyone know how much this costs and if its painful?

Its called the labret. It costs around 25-30 dollars, I think. & about the pain end of it. Im not sure. I pierced mine myself, and I didnt think it hurt at all. Its fatty tissue so it shouldnt hurt that bad. It all depends on who you are and how you take pain. If you have a low pain tolerance than it might hurt, but if your able to handle shots and things without a problem then you should be fine.

Q: So I shave my underarms every day...but lately I've been getting ingrown hairs and that's never happened before. It's kinda gross...it looks like I have pimply armpits or something (I wash my arm pits every day). I think it might have been because I changed my deoderant recently...but I don't think that makes sense because I don't put on deoderant until after I shave. So does anyone know why this happened and what I can do to fix it? Because it's the hottest month of the year and I would like to be able to wear tank tops again.

Maybe you have an allergic reaction to the deoderant you switched too and its causing skin irritation, resulting in a rash.

Q: i want to go for the preppy look this coming school year
like how should i dress to look preppy and what stores could i shop at that are not expensive
and could you please give me the website to the stores
thanks

There is no real definition of dressing "preppy". Some prep stores include A&F, AE, Aero, hollister, forever 21, rave & things of that sort. [ all at malls ] I guess alot of preps love the graphic T's, from old navy, ripped/faded jeans, flipflops.. and things of that nature. accessories are also a key. Theres some good sales going on at this online store I shop at. Its called www.alloy.com -- check that out and see if theres anything there you like - and if not then check out www.delias.com also =) hope that helped doll

Q: hello...
the other night i went to my friends b-day party and the girls(and guys) triple dog dared me to call up this guy (hes kinda a nerd) and ask him out just to see what he would say...
so i called him (not thinking of what i was getting into) and he said yes. so anyway i saw him at the coffee shop the next day and told him what my friends dared me to do...and BIG MISTAKE i told him who dared me. now he is "plotting revenge" against them...
do i tell my friends what is going to happen to them or not?

BTW: im 13/f and dont tell me that i was retarded for doing that because i already know that. WILL RATE enless its a smartass answer.

I would let your friends know what he said, because friends are more important than boyfriends or guys. Just give them a heads up on what he said, and if it gets to anything extreme then tell an adult or authorities. Since you guys are only 13 I doing it will be anything too intense, but do give them a heads up. & your not retarded for doing that, everyone makes mistakes.

Q: I've had a girlfriend for about 5½ yrs now and I really love her and all and I want to move our realonship up a bit and I don't know how. I was thinking about making love to her when it was the right time for her but im just afraid she won't be happy with my size. Were both virgins and I really don't want to hurt her. Do you think moving our realonship up a bit is worth a shot?
Also do you think 11 inches will really hurt a girl badly, especially if shes a virgin?

Please Be Nice I Rate 5's

If your relationship isnt in danger, and you guys are perfectly happy with each other and dont want to see anyone else, than i dont see any reason to move it up a notch. If things are going fine as is, then leave it how it is for now. Talk to her about it and see if shes ready to take that step, and make sure that she doesnt think it will change your relationship for the worse. Im not sure about that size issue, I do know girls can only feel about 4-5 inches of a mans penis anyways, but since shes a virgin, it might hurt, so go slow and ask her how shes feeling [ if it hurts ] every step of the way. if you do decide to do that.

Q: When I try to use task manager on windows xp by pressing ctrl+alt+del, a little gray box pops up and says "Task Manager has been disabled by your administrator." But I'm the only one that uses my computer and I never did anything to disable it. I did a search on how to fix this and followed everything step by step, but it didn't work. Has anyone else ever had this problem and if so, how did you fix it?

Im not sure really what this could be, try going into user accounts, and click on your account - then go to change my account type. check and see if its on limited or computer administrator. make sure its set to comp. administrator. If that doesnt work, I really dont understand why it would be doing that, because usually task manager cant be disabled.

Q: Okay, split up with the ex about two years ago. I lived with her for two years with her mum and her sister.
I'm now best friends with the sister, weve been gettin very close.
She even said at times she see's me as a boyfriend, and feels guilty when she speaks to other men.
But now she's started being quiter when we are out with others.
Think she is backing off as I'm her sisters ex, or she's changed her feelings?

Its hard to say how she feels about that, I really think you should talk to her, and see why she is acting that way.

Q: Alright, I have this best friend...well atleast i thought she was my best friend. And just last month we started highschool summer school...and in summer school my best friend had a different class then me and she met a bunch of new friends, and i was totally fine with her meeting new friends, no big deal! But then she had a huge sleepover party with them all and some other people, and she didnt invite me...and i that kinda bugged me but i got over it becuase she should be able to do stuff with out me without me getting mad...but anyways...so then she was like hanging out with these girls constantly and i was kinda like out of her life for those few weeks, well then to add to all of that...a week or so ago i was supposed to hang out with her, so we had it planned that we were going to hang out, then she called and said she couldnt hang out becuase she had to clean the house all day, so like i belived her, and thennn...she called the next morning and said that she had to tell me something becuase she felt really bad, and she told me that she lied to me and said she had to clean when really she did it so she could ditch me and hang out with those girls she just met...and that like REALLY hurt me, becuase i just couldnt believe she would do that to me...okay so now to add to it, at school she NEVER says hi to me, and shes always with those new girls and then shes like wearing clothes and jewlry and makeup that i would never excpect her to wear, and shes just changing, so i called her and told her how i felt and we talked...well more like argued, because she just refused to try to understand where i was coming from, and she said that she didnt know what to say so she would call me back when she knew what to say, then i heard her friend (or should i say new best friend) in the background so i was like OHH i see why you have to go, OKAY whatever bye. and i just dont know what to do...so here's the part where i need advice, what do i do?! what do i say...i really loved all the times we spent with eachother, and im just so upset with the way shes acting, idk if i should just forget about her and never hang out with her, or just foreget about all of it and start over...help meeee...and thank you sooo much for reading this!!! Ill def rate you super high

Hey doll. Alright, I think that shes not being a very good friend to you, at all. When people enter high school its a whole new scene for everyone, and people tend to change. Sometimes people forget who their real friends are, and go with the crowd thats "popular" that week. Shes just trying to get noticed, and try to be popular and succeed in high school. Basically it seems like she feels that those new girls "have ti all" so to speak, and she just thinks she wants that right now. The best thing to do, I think, is to remember all the fun times that you have had, and know that those memories wont ever fade. Let her go and hang with her new crowd, and you should try and make new friends also. Its High school, the best years of your life ! So make the most of it, and dont let drama and friendships ending ruin your high school teenager experiance. In time, hopefully, she'll realize who her real friend was, and that those girls arent like the friend you were to her. Give it a couple monthes to a year for her to get the new exciting high school atmosphere out of her head, and hopefully she'll come back and you guys will be fine again. Untill then, also, try not to think about it. Join some clubs, meet new people, go your seperate ways for now, and try not to let it get to you. Its not worth ruining your teenager years. =)! Hang in there sweetie ! It will get better, I promise.

Q: Well I was just talking to my boyfriend this was about our conversation.
Me: I think I'm gonna clean my room, if you're bored enough you can call if you want.
Him: im too bored to call

Is that possible, or do you think it was just an excuse..

It seems like its an excuse, why wouldnt he want to talk to his girlfriend ? I want to talk to the guy I love all the time, and Im never to bored or busy to call him.