MAK's advice column | Page 26

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

USA

Age:

19

Member Since:

August 13, 2006

Answers:

603

Last Update:

January 16, 2011

Visitors:

43332

Favorite Columnists

Main Categories:

about

I am Maria, I don't answer inbox questions (with very few exceptions, for example those people that use proper grammar and spelling). I try my best to point people in the right direction when I am answering questions.

Check out my forum!

MY FORUM

advice

i have an alter ego, and it is beggining to make me wonder. i am the type of person who can read Gossip Girl one second and then read a westernn book, or a book on philisophy the next second. during the say, i am petrofied of spiders and will not go outdoors if there is a bee, but at night, i will do anything to be outside, alone with nature.i will spend a whole school day just chatting with my friends about clothes and boys, but when i get home i sit there and analyze their personalitys, seeing what makes each of them good friends, and what i need to watch out for. i have happy pop, heavy metal, rock and roll, chilled out, hip-hop/r&b/rap, and clasical music all on my iPod. some says, ill go out in sweatpants and another day im wearing my micro-mini skirt with the 4 inch stiletos. i am wondering why i am so different, why my personalitys contradict eachother. why do i think so much about the meaning of life somtimes, and the other times im thinking about boys, grinding, and my hair. it drives me crazy knowing that while somtimes i have such a good head on my sholders, other times i have the worst sense of what is right and what is wrong. also, if i was only to have one side, i dont know which to chose. i love being able to be insightful, so i would never give that up, but should i give up all of the mindless, moral-less fun i have with my friends? im torn. please help me, my different selves are confusing me! thank you so much, i know nobody likes to read about me talking about myself for pages and pages.
xoox,
BubblyGirl

well, why cant be both?

just like the other person said, these two completely different personalities make up one you! i used to be just like you (i had two completely different personalities), but then i just came to accept that, and acted whatever i felt like, and not trying to stick to only one personality.

it just shows that you have a good head on your shoulders. you are a smart girl, but you know how to have fun, too.

honestly, i think you are one of the few people in the world who know how to live life to its fullest wisely. i would really hate to lose that.

hey okay so my dad is 58, and he quit smoking in thesummer of 2005. He had smoked for 40 years and i was proud when i FINALLY MADE him stop. cause i know how hard it was for him.

I was wondering if his health a little bit better than when he smoked. Any ways to make his lungs cleaner or something? cause even if he stopped, he'd been smoking for 40 Years. and like a lot each day.

Thanks!

unfortunately, no. he is at the age where lungs stop repairing themselves (this happens at the ages of 1 to about 25), so he will be stuck with the lungs he has.

but his health will definitly not deteriorate, but he is very liable for getting lung cancer.

you never know though what medical treatments might be invented in the next twenty years. i would check with a doctor and ask about it.

BUT there are things called stem cells, and they are usually gathered from an umbilical cord at the birth of a child, and most often hospitals dont tell you that they have someones stem cells. these cells can grow into anything. i will use lung cancer as an example.
when cancer is detected, all the stem cells in the lungs are killed. then the stem cells that were gathered from a family member's umbilical cord are placed into the lungs, and they grow themselves into new healthy tissue.
I have no idea how much this procedure costs, but you can check if you have any stem cells with the hospital you were born at. usually the stem cells are from the patient's children, so it is quite possible that either your's or a sibling's will be used. this ensures that the stem cells wont be rejected by the patient's body. (its because you and your father have the same genetic make up, so it wont be considered as a foreign body and thus rejected).

anyways, i would definitly look into stem cells.

i'm sorry its so long, but i hope i helped!

do girls fart?
or anything else among those lines?

yes we fart. along with that we scratch our crotches, pick our noses, burp, and masturbate.

for starters i'm 15/f. this question is mainly for guys, but if any girls know, feel free to answer. how to guys masturbate? i'm really clueless. sorry, and thanks to whoever will answer this.

well first they get an erection, then they put a fist around their penis and rub back and forth. the speed depends on the guys arousal. then they ejaculate (cum: release sperm + orgasm, but not necesarily both)

basicly they are simulating the thrusting movements they do during sex.

lol... hope i helped

i recently replaced coffee with green tea. will this benefit me in any way?

you have recieved some pretty good answers, but i would like to add that green tea does have caffeine in it. not as much as cofee, but it depends on how strong you make it.

to answer your question, yet it will benefit you.

okay so i know this is a odd question but what dose it meen to douche? like i think it has some thing to do with do their but like what dose it do or what is it for???

basicly its putting perfume in your vagina so it will smell nice. not exactly healthy for the vagina (it ruins the pH level, and may increase rick of TSS: Toxic Shock Syndrome, but there are lots of companies that make douche and its a big seller (among women of course). hope i helped

I'm a female and i don't know how to get off on masturbating. is there something wrong with me?

no, there is nothing wrong with you. you just havent found the way to please yourself yet.

heres a good website that might help you get the job done.

http://www.solotouch.com/contri.php?t=a

just click on techniques, then select your gender.

hope i helped!!!

that if you sleep with a bra on , it slows down how fast your boobs grow ?
I didnt really believe that, but my friend told me that and I dont know if its true or not.
Thanks !

well, it depends. underwire bras are known to cut off circulation to your breasts, forming lumps. it is best to wear a sports bra, which will allow blood flow that will supply the breasts with everything they need. so basicly an underwire bra wont slow growth, but may form lumps.

hope i helped!!

Hello...

I have a teen daugter she is 13 and she goes to the mall all the time which I don't mind.But she always brings home clothes and says their her friends or something like that and I found 1 price tag in her room...she has a history of shoplifting but do you think shes at it again ?

Signed,
Questioned

she might be. its really hard to tell. dont talk to her about it yet. when you have solid proof is when you can confront her and punish her. meanwhile, casually mention the consequences of shoplifting in conversation. and never confront her in front of her friends. she will be very embarassed, and wil not be fully concentrating on what you say, but more on her friends reactions.

if she does shoplift, talk to her about it in her room (that way she cant slam the door on you if shes that type of teen). tell her that shoplifint will not be tolerated in your household.

also, when she goes shopping, give her money (not too much and not too little), and limit the amount of times that she can shop. (for example only 3 times a month). also make sure that she goes with those that are not shoplifters (if you know such details about her friends).

anyways i hope i helped. let me know if i helped ok?

I hate my family. There all a bunch of #$@%&*$#(@%^(#&^…everytime I get on the computer..they always suspect I’m doing something wrong like..i’m on myspace or aim or e-mail….my dad always think that…everytime I’m on the computer he’s always saying “ o are you on myspace or aim or e-mail…and I get angry b/c I’m not and he always suspects that and it gets on my nerves and when I say “NOOOO!!!” he says “ yea rite your lying to me” then I get mad and say “WHAT THE HECK!!”…Why’d you ask if you don’t believe me!!”…. Then my mom is just a bigger annoying one!! she’s always nagging to me about my grades…. I try my hardest but she never accepts it!!…. She’s always saying “if your trying your hardest…your grades would be higher”…I hate talking about my grades b/c my mom is always like look at everyone else…their grades are high, why can’t you be like them…everytime she says this I feel stupid, and I wanna just ignore her…then she says you never want to talk about this but look at your grades!!!…. Then I’m on aim sometimes and then she comes and beats me because she thinks I’m talking and not doing my hmrk…. When really I’m talking to a friend or my cousin to get help…but she never believes me…then I get beat for noo reason…and everytime she gets mad she always talks about my grades..And says print your grades out and let me see them…then there bad grades then she gets mad at me more…sometimes I wish I can just kill myself (no joke)…but then I say no bc don’t want to die in pain(if there was a easier/ painless way of dieing I would do it)…it’s really getting close to me doing that…I know I won’t ever do it but I really wish I can …sometimes I just tell my mom that maybe I’m stupid and this is the best of my ability but she never believes me….sometimes I wish I can hurt her really badly emotionally w/o hurting myself physically…I just can’t stand her…sometime I wish I can just run away….and we also have this neighbor who is he biggest momma’s boy ever…he listens to his mom and everything he’s like the “perfect son”…he makes my life even worse…b/c my mom will be like “look at his grades and look at yours he has better grades than you…he’s in all honors classes and your not!!…you just in 2 classes”…and this makes me feel even more stupid…and I’m really bad in math and my mom makes me go to this tutoring class for math every Saturday morning…and he’s there…b/c everything I do he has to do!!…and he does his hmrk every single day and asks questions and be a good student… then he makes me look bad….then I don’t get anything we learn in that class so I asks questions and sometimes she’ll get aggravated b/c I’m not getting it..and then we’ll take a test and I’ll maybe miss a lot and she’ll call my mom and be like she doesn’t do my hmrk(maybe b/c I don’t get it!!) and she missed a lot and she never does anything in class(she lies!!)…I try my hardest to pay attetion..It’s not my fault I’m stupid and don’t get it!!…sometimes I hate going home from something just cause it’s soo bad…I get in trouble or yelled at everyday!!…then my sister is the worst of them all!!….she’s sooooo annoying..she’ll always up in my business!!….i’ll be on the computer and she’ll always run out of no where and “check up on me”…then b/c she comes so fast then I get scared I then I think I’m doing something wrong so I have to exit out of everything then she’ll be “OOOO!!!….your on mypace/aim/e-mail!!!..i’m tellling!!.” And she’ll yell it so that my mom or dad can come can come and accuse me and be like “GET OFF THE COMPPUTERR!! YOUR NOT DOJNG YOIUR HMRK!!” Then I can never finish my hrmk…so then I have it sneak on at night just to finish it then my dad’s like…I know you were on the computer on myspace/aim/e-mail last night so you can’t get on today!!…then I can never do my hmrk…then that’s probably another reason that I’m not passing all my classes!!….then sometimes I’ll be on and my sis will come and then be like I no you were on something you were’nt supposed to be on..click on the history!!…then I’m like no I’m tired of you accusing me …then she accuses me for no reason with no proof and yells “OOO!!…mommy/daddy she’s on myspace/aim/e-mail..then my mom/dad comes and says CHECK ON HISTORY!!….then I do and there’s nothing wrong there!!…and my sis walks away saying I no you deleted it…I get sooo mad when they accuse me for no reason!!…I hate it!!….and everytime my sis and me argue my mom comes and break it up and she listens to my sis’s part of the story and not mine…so it’s like I’m the bad guy!!….it’s sooo annoying!!….then of course I get yelled at…..my sis has an attitude and she never gets in trouble she treats our parents with no respect…and she never gets in trouble!!…she scratches me and it leaves marks on my hand and my parents don’t says anything…but if I do something like call her stupid or push her down I get in trouble they always say you should know better she’s younger….I’m like what the heck!!….she’s 11 she’s not little!!!!…. And I’m not “allowed” in her room…if I stand by the doorway she gets mad and says “get out!!” then slams the door in my face….I don’t know what to do with my family..sometimes I wish I can just run away…and everyday when I go to sleep I wonder how it would be like if I was never born…..it would be the “perfect family”…I try to make everyday a good day but it always comes out bad..b/c of something I do…so I just gave up…I know it’s gonna be a bad day so I just go along with it…there’s no point of trying to make it a good day…..also I’m doing really bad in Spanish…and I pay attention in class and do my hmrk and go to tutorials…and I can’t tell anybody b/c if I tell my dad then he’ll tell my mom…and if I tell my mom then she’ll yell at me and I don’t want that anymore….so I have to keep it a secret and pray that I pass at the end…..

14/f

sorry it's so long but i did'nt want to leave anything out...

ok sorry it took me so long to answer.

to gain your parents trust on the computer, make sure that you do your homework first, then announce to your parents that you have finished it. (casually, like "that was a lot of homework, but i'm glad i'm done", or "i barely had homework today, it only took me twenty minutes to do"... you get the picture). pretty soon your parents will trust you that you have finished all your homework. it shows them that you are responsible when it comes to computer and homework.

since your parents dont like you being on myspace and aim, show them how safe it is. Tell them that the people you talk to on aim are all people you know personally. On myspace, show them that your profile can be set to private, and again tell them that all your friends are people that you know personally.

If that doesnt work, limit yourself to one hour per day on the computer, or something like that. Instead, you can talk on the phone or just hang out with your friends.

ok now your grades. having your homework finished before you go onto the computer will reealy help your parents reealize that you take school seriously. maybe ask them for help on your homework (annoying as they may be)or discuss hiring a tutor. you are not stupid. if you keep on telling yourself that you are, you will start acting on it. talk to your parents: tell them you do all the tutorials in spanish, that you try hard. if you are sincere, they should believe you and help you out.

Your sister: be reeaaaalllly nice to her. do sweet things for her: get her candy from time to time, share things with her. be a cool older sister. give each other makeovers, make her laugh. just make sure you dont pry into her life, and also NEVER clean up after her.

I feel for you though. i have an 11 year old brother. i, too, dread telling my parents my grades. and my parents cant stand me being on myspace, aim, this website... the computer in general. just try to earn their trust and respect. do nice things for them, clean up after yourself. never ever give them an attitude. ever. unless you are 100% sure on something.

anyways, good luck. hope i helped in any way. let me know how it works out, k?

ps. give this some time. they wont immediatley begin to trust you, but it will take some time establish a certain level of understanding between you guys.

what is a good diet pill to go on. i want one that wont react with my birth control (yasmin) and i actually want results! has anyone gone on any really good ones that you dont need a doctor to get or are very expensive?!

rate me low, but today in biology we learned that diet pills dont work.

heres a URL explaining why in simple words. if i explain it in my teachers words you wont understand a single thing because its involved in chemistry and for that you will need to read about fifty pages from my text book... i even barely understood it haha

http://www.anred.com/stats.html

ya so please reconsider going on a diet pill. they are sooo unhealthy.

why not join a sport, or a dance club? something you enjoy doing. you really get involved in these types of things, and you get to meet really cool people. (plus its fun, good for you, and you will lose weight)

theres also diets. weight watchers seems to satisfy most people. but no starving yourself please!!

anyways hope i helped. let me know if you will reconsider the diet pill or not k?

Does anybody have any home remedies to cure dry skin on the face?

butter on your face. make sure that it is soft and at room temperature. put some on before you go to bed (not too much!!!) *make sure its unsalted

any vegetable oil. again, put some on before bed because your face will look greasy.

mineral oil (baby oil, its the same thing but theres perfume in it)

vaseline: number one choise but you said home remedies, but i'm not sure how "home" you want.

just some additional tips:

use warm water (not hot, but not cold either) when you wash your face. before it dries, put some baby oil on, then PAT your face dry

avoid chlorine. basicly pools. it dries out your skin... and trust me i know, i'm a swimmer

drink lots of water, and dont take too long in the shower/bath. by the process of osmosis, water will travel out of your skin cells into the water outside your body. to hydrate your skin, drink water to replenish what you lost. 8 glasses a day will do. 10 on hot days because you sweat alot.

unscented moisturizing lotion. i personally prefer aveeno. scented lotion will irritate sensitive skin.

use a facial scrub once a week. the best is one that has apricot in it, like st. ives. this will help exfoliate the dry (and thus dead) skin cells.

use sunscreen when you are going to be outside for more than half an hour. sunscreen is known to irritate skin, but that doesnt mean you shouldnt wear it!!! (personally, i would rather have dry skin than skin cancer)

anyways hope i helped!!! let me know if this helps you out k?

basically, i like this guy. & i THINK he might like me back. either way every week he finds a way to come up to me and say hi, then he just stands there. but that's it, he doesn't talk to me much besides that and whatever i decide to say. & it gets so awkward when that happens.

the question is, why does he say hi then just stand there?
& should i start the conversations, or let it just be awkward and stuff?

hes just bashful. i think you should talk to him, if you dont itll be torture for both of you. ask him how he likes his classes, or if your in the same class talk about that (how the teachers a jerk, too much homework, etc). after a while i'm pretty sure the guy will grow more comfortable and will be the one starting the conversations. good luck!!! let me know how it works out ok?

haha i didnt know where to put this topic.
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b268/Durene/me.jpg

yes you are!!!! you shouldnt be doubting lol. be careful posting pictures of yourself on the internet though, its not very safe. (even for this website)

what do girls look for in guys?

approachable
confident, but not cocky
funny
likes to fool around (not sexually)
is serious at appropriate times
smart
good looking: muscular, tall, handsome, strong jaw
not pushy
cool
laid back
nice
good kisser (hehe)
acts like his true self: stays true to his personality

ive always liked guys and ive nevr been attracted to girls and ive nevr evr wanted to date one but recently i came across a porno on my dads computer and i watched a little bit of it and i did masturbate.. does this make me lesbian? bi? :(thanks in advance

no. you might be bi-curious, and everyone is to some extent. mostly likely you were just horny =)

So yeah I'm 15 and a boy,

I know this might be strange, but I just suddenly started liking this girl recently. I can't ever stop thinking about her. I don't think about her in a sexual way, but more of a loving way.
There are problems though. This girl goes to a different school than me and I'm hesitant about going out with someone that doesn't go to my school.
The second thing is, all my friends told me that dating is a complete waste of time until you're older.
This seems like the first time I've REALLY liked someone. Unlike some of my friends, I don't really look at the size of girl's boobs or anything, I tend to look at the inside. Does that make me more mature or something, or am I being rash? Tell me what you think.

oh my god. why cant all guys be like you??

you are sooo much more mature than your friends. more and more 15 year olds are becoming so sex oriented, its beautiful how you think of this girl in a loving way.

dating is not a waste of time... but you can make it a waste of time by not loving the person your with. Ask her out, you have nothing to lose.

I am looking for a fair hourly rate to pay a babysitter. Can anyone help?

well it all depends on the age of your child(ren)

0-3...20.00
4-7...15.00
8-10...10.00
12 and over...7-10.00

it also depends on how active the kid is. I mean if your son or daugheter is very mellow than it would be safe to pay not as much because you dont want to pay your babysitter twenty dollars an hour to watch your sleeping baby.

anyways good luck!!!
and make sure it is someone responsible, especially if your kid is in the 4-7 age group

everytime i shave i get these little dots on my legs. i hatee themm!!! how do i make them go away??

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=424639

a similar question was asked a while ago. hopefully this will help.

my advice: cocoa butter

so tell me, this is my plan

in the mornings eat: Special K Mozzeralla cheese Fruit & have OJ or Tea. & 50 crunches

in the afternoon: for lunch.. water and idk yet. & 100 crunches & run/walk at least 2 miles

in the night: water, main meal, & fruit. & 50 crunches & go to the gym with cardio for about 40 mintues.

&& for snacks eat like carrots and no soda just water or 100% fruit juice..

now will that help me lose weight? will it show results? please tell me! lol how long do you think it will take? ergh is this right? sooo many questions!

ok that is defintily not too much food, ignore what the other person said. you will burn that food very quickly when you excercise.

this does seem like a very good plan. also please do not completely eliminate fat from you diet. i know it seems like the enecmy when you are trying to lose weight, but fat is sooo important. you could have a central nervous system break down if you dont eat fat.

now i'm not saying to live on butter, but just know that its ok to eat fat once in a while.

ps. i think that the diet isnt very necessary, you will lose weight by just excersising, but the diet will speed up the process.

anyways good luck!!! let me know how you do ok?

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>