I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 50069
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Xenolan
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In my last post i asked about my bf and i. he is 21 and iam 20. we were together 1 year and 3 times he dumped and of those 3 times 2 of them he came running back to me. He told me he didnt love me i wasnt pretty enough and he would basically withdrawl himself from me when he got angry then dump me. Then a week would go by and he would want me back. Its a cycle. Well he forgot something really really imporant and his main excuse was i forgot. I got really heated and screamed at him i hate u i hate u were over. Now that a few days have gone by i have noticed the cycle is the same. At first he blocked me from his aim list , now 2 days later he unblocked me. He signed up for a dating site ( like he did last time). Now usually i would im him for some stupid ass reason. We would talk for a bit . He would come over and we would have sex and then a few days later we are back together. He is doing everything i knew he would. The question is should i im him or just let it be and see if he comes to me. I dont know if i want him back but i have this pull in me not give up. Maybe i just want him to want me back. Do you all think he will try to come back to me if i just leave him be or just leave him alone and prepare myself to move on (link)
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Okay. I know what young love is like. My SO and I have been together since we were 19. That's now 15 years ago. It's not that I don't understand.
People in love don't say things like 'I don't love you' or 'you're not pretty enough' or 'I hate you.' No matter how many times you try to make this work, it's not going to work. First, because you two are obviously not right for each other. Second, because you're too angry and too quick to hurt each other out of anger. You need to find a different relationship with, hopefully, more maturity.
Leave him alone. He's not pretty enough for you, okay? Mean what you say and say what you mean.
Sabine
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when does Borat come out on DVD? when can you rent it? thanks! (link)
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I don't know when it's available for rent. A simple Google search showed me it's being released for sale on March 6.
Sabine
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what are some interesting things to do with a boyfriend besides having sex? we've done everything except it but is there any techniques or stuff to make it interesting.. we've been going out for 9 months..thanks (link)
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You mean sexual things to do without intercourse? Well, there's adding food (ie the whipped cream bikini or holding a mint in your mouth while you give him oral), adding costumes or role-playing (French maid, construction worker, etc.). There's writing fantasies for each other. There's teasing each other with both of you knowing that there's not going to be any chance of orgasm. That sometimes makes the orgasm better. There is sensory deprivation, like tying blindfolds on each other. There's exploring bondage or fetishism if that's the way you roll. Watching porn together might be appealing.
Then there's the other stuff, like taking on a community service project together or starting to watch a television series together. Taking up tennis or racketball or bowling. Playing chess, going to amusement parks, etc. There are a lot of things to do. If that's what you meant, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump right into the sexual thing if that's not what you were thinking of.
Sabine
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13/f. First of all please do NOT say use eye drops or non-disposable contacts. I already do, they don't help in *this* situation. (The brand my eye doctor recommended)
Now, my eyes are naturally dry. So I need to use eye drops often. Yes, they work. I have a pair of glasses but my mom has just spent about 300 dollars on disposable contacts that I cannot even wear. Apparently my eyes are dry enough that I can feel them. Sometimes I go through 10 contact lenses until I can only feel them a *little*. I tried putting eye drops in before I put them in, but it just made them hurt even more, or didn't work (which is why I asked not to say use eye drops). I'm really disappointed that we spent that much money.
However I don't want to just use my glasses instead. I'm not being self conscious, I'm being honest - I don't look very good in glasses. :( Any ideas on what I could do?
I'm asking this because I saw the commercial for Acuvue contact lenses. Does anyone have them? Are they really good? And do you think they'd work for my dry eyes? Thanks in advance. I'm not sure if this will be hard to answer or not so thanks for taking the time to write it out for me. (link)
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Okay, the first thing you need to do is take all the rest of the lenses back to the eye doctor and explain exactly what you have told us! They should take back all the unused lenses and give you credit for any unopened boxes. Then he should give you samples of some other types to try. Oasys is supposed to be good.
That being said, some of us just can't wear contacts. For some people who just have dry eyes, they can't wear any type of contacts, they may have to take medication, and they can get little 'cork' type things called punctal plugs put into the tear ducts where the eye drains into the nose in order to keep the tears in.
Mostly, you don't need to have wasted all of that money. Let your eye doc know it's not working and ask him for something else.
Sabine
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So whenever I go in public (especially for rehearsals with my theater group) I feel like people are looking at me differently than they look at other people- and it makes me feel really exposed and vulnerable and then I start freaking out. They all ask me "What's wrong?" or "are you okay" and I really don't see why. It's probably because of my facial expression- which is usually depressed (I try not to look depressed but it doesn't work.)
And then I feel like people are looking at me for the rest of the day- even when I'm at home. (with no one else around)
FYI: I'm not a "pubescent" teen... i've passed all that crap so i don't know what's up with me. (link)
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It's great that you're trying to find the answer. I think you should look at Social Anxiety Disorder in Wikipedia and here:
http://socialanxiety.factsforhealth.org/
Maybe that's not it. If not, then keep looking.
Sabine
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how many miles do you have left when your gas light comes on? i have an '02 dodge neon, by the way. (link)
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It is different for every car. Some cars even have different tanks for different levels of accessories (like the LX, etc.). You need to check the owner's manual. If you don't have one, you may need to find it on the internet. Usually, you have at least 2 gallons left when that light comes on. I don't know what your mileage is, but it's likely that you have at least another 45 miles.
Sabine
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okay, so my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 2 months. we hit it off really well & we have a very very healthy relationship. we are both strong christians, and have morals, but the farthest we've gotten is french kissing. Now we have friends of ours that we double date with alot. They've gotten way farther than us. like they haven't gone all the way, but he's like fingered her & she says that they've done things that she regrets. but idk. i don't really have an issue with going any farther with my boyfriend. but is it wrong to do anything? because i just feel like a goody goody.
HELP! (link)
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Forget about what others think and what they're doing. Do things only both you and your boyfriend are comfortable with. In the end, it's the two of you who have to face each other and God.
Sabine
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i wanna know if a girl has anal sex i wanna know if that dangerous at all concidering she has a small butt hole plz help (link)
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In addition to what the adviser below told you, please use a condom, because it would be easy to get a tear in the rectal lining and then his sperm could mix with your blood, giving a very easy inlet for any disease. Start slowly, and with plenty of lube, inserting one finger at first and then two. You may want to use a vibrator or dildo up there before inserting a penis just to be sure that it's pleasurable and not painful. Also, be aware that you can get abcesses and infections in your rectum, which may be painful and which may require medical treatment, from anal sex. Most people don't get those, but it can happen. Also, never go from the anus to the vagina without changing the condom or washing his penis.
Sabine
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can you get fatter if your hiv positive? like waht kind of foods do you eat and stuff like that to gain weight please help (link)
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All the advice below is golden, however, you should see a nutritionist to evaluate your calorie needs and come up with a food plan. I don't know about your personal situation, but some of the anti-retrovirals can cause a lot of nausea and some diarrhea. There are some foods you may want to avoid because of that. You may also need to time your food consumption around medication doses. There are also the Boost and Ensure shakes which could help, along with ice cream and other high-calorie foods.
Best of luck.
Sabine
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Can anyone help me find out the distance between new braunfels texas and nome (or china) texas? (link)
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238.8 miles, approx 4 hours 17 minutes, according to maps.yahoo.com
Sabine
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im 19/f and my husband is 22/m. we have been dating for about 5 years and have been sexually active for about the same amount of time.i want to get pregnant but my husband does not want one. we've tlked about having kids before but he's scared because he does not want a girl. i really want a baby and i am fully capable of taking are of it, i can support it financially. what should i do? how can i convince him? (link)
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My advice is this: don't have a baby with someone who doesn't want one. Since you live with him, you can't keep a baby from affecting his life. Sure, you can work and support and take care of a baby, but you may not be prepared for *how much* work is involved. Sure, single people raise children all the time. Ask a single mother when the last time was that she had a nap, a date with girlfriends, etc. I'm politically very liberal, but even I have to admit that raising a child is ideally a two-person job. What if something were to happen to you? What if you had to go to the hospital for a few days? If he's not willing to have a kid, and it's a must for you, you need to re-evalutate your relationship.
Why doesn't he want a girl? You can use in-vitro methods to sex-select for only male embryos and there are ways of sorting the sperm, if you don't want to go that far, which greatly increase your chances of getting a male baby.
Here's the bottom line: He's not ready. He may be ready later, but as of now, he's not. You can either put this on the back burner for now or you can find a new partner. It wouldn't be ethical for you to try to convince him to have a child.
Sabine
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rights of an individual vs. needs for the society. PLEASE HELP ANY THOUGHTSS? which do u prefer AND WHY??? (link)
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I prefer balance! Look up Locke and Bantam's therory of Utilitarianism. Then look up social contracts in the vein of Calvin and, yes, Hobbes. These philosophers all have things to say. It's true that we give up certain rights in order to have the security of the group. We can choose some of that, such as whether to live in a covenant-controlled neighborhood where we can't plant flowers in our yards without prior, written approval. Some of it we can't choose, like we can't murder people, no matter whether or not we agree that it's wrong. We have to strike the right balance for each of us, individually. There are some people who run off to the mountains to escape the needs of the society. There are others who live in cooperative housing units where everything is shared.
Hope I've helped.
Sabine
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What does "pussy whipped" mean? (link)
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It means a woman has you completely under her control and you aren't able to speak for yourself, decide for yourself, or act on your own.
Sabine
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is it bad to get the hpv vaccine when your already sexually active? (link)
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It's not too late. Get it ASAP, dahlin'.
Sabine
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i can find any laws about women equalty and to show that women are equal today. i can only find Title 9 and then the 19th Amendment...
=( (link)
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How about mortgage laws and employment laws which say that a woman cannot be denied a job due to her gender (that no one can discriminate based upon age, sex, gender, religion, etc.)? I assume you're doing this for a class project. Find out when women started to be able to hold credit accounts under their own names, when they became eligible for drivers' licenses, when they were first admitted to public universities, and when they became eligible to own property, etc. These are all rights women in our past could not take for granted as we do today. There are laws that state that, given the same job and the same amount of experience, a woman must make the same salary as a comparable man. That has not always been true.
Ask me if you need ways in when men and women are not equal in society, as well.
Sabine
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I had sex on Sunday Morning for the basically first time (we tried the night before but it really hurt.) and when we were done i was bleeding really bad but it's still going and I have cramps so it's my period, duh, but is it weird that it happened right after the sex? (link)
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Have you ever heard of people saying that in order to get a pregnant lady to go into labor, she should have sex? Or that sex relieves cramps? Well it releases a hormone called oxytocin, which can cause muscle contractions (sometimes getting rhythmic muscle contractions going can get labor going or relieve the balled-up cramping muscles). It's a feel-good hormone as well, to an extent, and it's released during orgasm. So maybe, if you had an orgasm, it started your period. Maybe your period was coming anyway, and you got pain the previous night because of his penis stimulating areas that were sore because they were starting to get ready for menstruation. Or maybe it's coincidence. Either way, it's probably nothing to worry about.
Sabine
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Hey my friend recently cut herself and now she regrets it. Well she wants to reduce the visability of them but I will need some help with the names of the creams.
I think Cocoa Butter reduces the visability but im not sure about any others.. I will rate high for good and sufficent answers. (link)
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She can use Mederma, which she can get over the counter in a grocery store.
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I know that it is almost impossible to get pregnant with having sex. However, I hooked up with a boy and he ejaculated on his hand and my sheets and we kept hooking up. Now I'm 8 days late on my period. But seriously....what are the chances of me being pregnant (link)
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Well, did he put his hand inside you after he ejaculated? If not, your chances of being pregnant are pretty slim. You can now take some of the home pregancy tests, now that you've missed a period. I think First Response brand is usually able to indicate as soon as now. I really don't think you're pregnant, though.
Sabine
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ok im 13/f.
i need some honest help here.
ive been with my boyfriend for 4 months and i really like him..i thought i loved him at one point but i realized that i just really really like him.
so anyway.
things were going amazingly until about 2 weeks ago.
we were perfect,and everyone told us that.
i loved him so much.
but then when i was in a play at my school,and i fell for one of the stage crew guys.
ive been hanging with him and his friends alot lately.
last night we had a dance at our school and my boyfriend wasnt there but he told me i could dance w/ other guys because he trusted me.
so i grinded and slow danced with this guy and his friends.
i wanted to kiss him so badly but i couldnt because i would never cheat on my boyfriend.
i dont know wht to do.
o and i broke up with my bf a couple days because he was getting really mad at threatening my guy friends bcuz they were talking to me alot.
but then we got back together and i dont no wht to do.
he got mad at my friend [not the one i like but one of my other guy friends] last night and punched him in the face.
i kinda wanna dump him and go out with him.
oh and one more problem.
my friend [not my best friend but more then a just hi hi how ya doin friend] went out with him for a day and she still likes him and was mad when i grinded with him.
i need help.
and i kinda wanna b single so i can flirt and play around with other guys.
btw-i AM NOT a slut.
im just the kind of girl who has alot of guy friends. (link)
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Okay, the boyfriend is not a good person for you to be with. He is controlling and he wants more of a commitment from you than you want to give him. Break up with him.
The second guy, stagehand guy, you should feel free to pursue him. If your other friend who likes him wants to be with him, then she is welcome also to try. But if he wanted to be with her, then he would have been slow dancing with her, not you. She needs to take responsibility for her own wishes and realize that she can either want something and pursue it or want something and watch someone else get it. She can't want it and keep everyone else from getting it - not an option. If she went out with him for a day, then they broke up and they haven't gotten back together, then there's a reason they're not together, it's not your fault, and she needs to face reality. It she's really your friend, she won't be mad that you're seeing what other options you have.
Bottom line, though, is you need to get rid of this guy who punches other people in the face. Break up with him in a public place if you're afraid he would do that to you as well.
Good luck.
Sabine
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So my cat won't eat her wetfood. She eats her dry food perfectly fine, and I have tried every suggestion my Vet told me, but nothing worked. Yet I heard (from a friend) that if cats don't eat their wetfood they'll die or something? I do find it somewhat ridiculous but it worries me. Is that true? If so, what can I do? If not, any suggestions to help my cat eat her food?
thanks (link)
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Did your vet say your cat needed wet food? Usually they say not to give cats wet food. There are two reasons. The first is that it's high in fat and the second is that it sticks in their teeth and causes decay and tartar build-up. My cats have all eaten only dry food because it's alledgedly better for them. I've been a cat owner for over 20 years and never have I had a vet tell me that a cat needs canned food.
If you think she needs wet food, here's an idea. Soak the dry food with some water or canned broth. It will puff up. Then you can mash it with a fork. That's what I've done with kittens.
Honestly, though, I think I'd listen to the cat on this one.
You're sweet to be concerned about your kitty.
Sabine
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