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i want a baby
im 19/f and my husband is 22/m. we have been dating for about 5 years and have been sexually active for about the same amount of time.i want to get pregnant but my husband does not want one. we've tlked about having kids before but he's scared because he does not want a girl. i really want a baby and i am fully capable of taking are of it, i can support it financially. what should i do? how can i convince him?
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Ok... R u sure thats the reason he doesnt want kids? Cause He might have another reason. Im not sure what having a boy or girl has to do with it. Cause if he really loves you he wouldnt care. I dont want you to get upset or anything but it sounds like he doesnt want kids with you for another reason other than cause he doesnt want a girl. Talk to him and ask him what is really up? Have u guys ever had problems? Cause this might be a big one.
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dont like to tell you this but later on in life you guys jsut mite get a divorse my step mom did her ex didnt want kids either. but she got them i dont want to tell you how cuz well its personal.*(sry) tell him that you want them and if you love me enough to have one you wont care what sex it is as long as you have one with me.!!
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first:
i think that you are way too young to be married don't you think.
Alright think of this ok... you were 14 when you people first started dating and do you know for sure that he has not cheated on you in those five years. you were and are a kid. (if you do not mind me saying) i say this because he is matchure enough because he does not want a child yet. and then on the other hand he is not matchure because he does not want a girl. and it is not only if you are financally ready it is also emotionally and do you really love him and does he really love you enough to have a child with you and not caring if it is a boy or girl but will take care of it and love it no matter what it is. i think that you are right though you love him and are ready to have a baby but why don't you start saving up first and get out there and see the world why you can with no child. I say go to a different counry, a different state, go out to dinner and make him pay and travel before you go and have a baby. see the world why you can and save up the 1 dollar bills and all the change for a baby untill you reach 1,000 dollars or more and then if you are still with him and he still doesn't want to take the chance of it being a girl he doesn't love you enough to take that chance then he is not the right one for youand again i think that you are way too young to be married in the first place and toooooooooooo toooooooo young to have any kids yet
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You both sound a bit young for a child. Many people rush into parenthood after marriage and find that later they wished they had waited. Girls want to feel maternal and have an all american family, and guys sometimes think it is just the next step.
Enjoy your years. Don't run right into parenthood, because that doesnt mix with friends, partying, and all the things you can do while your young.
Take time and think about it. See if your both ready to give up your current lifestyle. You'll be happy you did. If your still ready, talk to your husband. Tell him how deeply you want a child, and that no matter what sex it is your sure he'll love him completely. List the pros and cons and hopefully you can reach an agreement.
But, if he isnt ready, he will be soon. Only time will tell.
Good luck to you and your future family :)
-Abby
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you guys are still young. maybe you should wait a little while until then. however, the best thing to do is to talk to him about it again.also, talk to your parents, because they can give you advice, and they brought you up, so they might know what's best for you.
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My advice is this: don't have a baby with someone who doesn't want one. Since you live with him, you can't keep a baby from affecting his life. Sure, you can work and support and take care of a baby, but you may not be prepared for *how much* work is involved. Sure, single people raise children all the time. Ask a single mother when the last time was that she had a nap, a date with girlfriends, etc. I'm politically very liberal, but even I have to admit that raising a child is ideally a two-person job. What if something were to happen to you? What if you had to go to the hospital for a few days? If he's not willing to have a kid, and it's a must for you, you need to re-evalutate your relationship.
Why doesn't he want a girl? You can use in-vitro methods to sex-select for only male embryos and there are ways of sorting the sperm, if you don't want to go that far, which greatly increase your chances of getting a male baby.
Here's the bottom line: He's not ready. He may be ready later, but as of now, he's not. You can either put this on the back burner for now or you can find a new partner. It wouldn't be ethical for you to try to convince him to have a child.
Sabine
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