I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 173013
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during fingering, my partner accidentally caused a small cut in my vagina with his fingernails. does this pose a greater chance of infection, and is there anything i should do to ensure its healing properly? (link)
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The vagina is remarkable for its self-cleaning properties.
A small cut should heal easily, unless you have a condition that makes it difficult for your skin to rebound from cuts or scrapes.
If your boyfriend's fingers were dirty when he cut you, there is a chance you could get an infection. While you have this tear, you are more likely to get a sexually transmitted infection during unprotected sex.
As to what you can do, you just need to sit back and let nature take its course. Be gentle with the area and avoid rough fingering until you're healed.
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hey i got in a fight with a FRIEND not BFF or anything in march and my so-called best friend was friends with her but then they got really close and i am getting really mad at my Bff... should i just ignore it or should i just slowly depart from the friendship? xox (link)
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Well, it's understandable that you are feeling upset that your very best friend is really close with someone you've been in a fight with.
What you need to decide is how much the friendship is worth to you. Do you want to break it up because your best friend is friends with someone else? Take some time to honestly think about how you feel - good and bad.
Then think about talking with your best friend. If you're really close, you're probably used to talking about the tough stuff in life. She'd probably really want to know what you were feeling - perhaps she has no idea she's hurting you, and she would be more sensitive if she knew.
A friendship is two way. If you feel you are still gaining things from this friendship, it might be worth giving her a chance and talking to her.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
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is it normal for a person to get really bad urges to masterbate and is it normal to masterbate if youve never had sex? (link)
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Maturbation is a normal and healthy way to explore your body and enjoy yourself. Most people masturbate at some point in their lives, and it's perfectly normal to masturbate before you've had sex.
After all, it's all about hormones & those usually kick in long before sex enters the picture.
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hi y'all i'm sarah from philly, i'm 17 years old and i'm on the cilest oral contraceptive tablets, i just started them a couple of weeks ago but already i'm realising that after a period, i am still bloated and my breasts(period or no period)never go down to their normal size, they usually stay swollen when before when i used to take a period, the bloated feeling would dissapeare and my breasts would go back to normal straight after a period, this is making me feel uncomfortable but i have to take the pill due to bad cramp. i don't know what to do because my doctor told me these side effects wouldnt happen with this type of pill but it has. can u tell me whats actually happening, why and any other contraceptive pill that definitely doesn't have these side effects? thank you (link)
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Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to tell you exactly why your body is reacting in this way to this particular pill. Nor can I predict how your body might be with other forms of oral contraceptive. This is because every body is different, and it has different tolerance levels to various medications.
You definitely need to go back to your doctor to describe your problem. He or she should let you know about alternatives - lighter dose pills, various hormone pills, the shot, the patch, the implant, etc. The best idea for your body might be to try a different oral contraceptive, as you may be sensitive to hormones.
Write down what you've said here and take it into your doctor's. Try to think if the only thing different this month was the pill - or if there was something else that might be affecting your body. It's best to be as accurate as possible so your doctor can help you make an informed choice.
Best of luck.
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My bf (im 18, and hes 24) and i have recently started to become sexually active. He took my virginity too. He really enjoys giving me oral sex and fingering me. But when he does either i dont get any pleasure from it. He isnt doing anything wrong either. On the other hand when we have intercourse i get off from that. I feel bad i dont get off from oral because he really enjoys that. Is there something wrong with me because women are supposed to get something out of fingering and oral sex and i dont? thanks! (link)
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Everyone likes different things, and there's nothing wrong with not enjoying certain types of sexual activity.
It's up to you whether or not you want oral sex to continue. This involves whether you will experiment (having it after penetrative sex, etc), put up with it for his sake, or decide to spend both of your energies focusing on what you DO like.
Anything you decide is perfectly okay, as long as you feel happy with your choice.
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Is it possible to get a blister or like a blood blister from shaving close to your vagina, if not what else could shaving cause? (link)
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No. Shaving can cause redness, irritation, or razor burn - but not blisters.
A blister near your vagina could be the symptom of a sexually transmitted infection (if you are sexually active). If not, it could actually be a boil or pimple.
If you are not sexually active, wait for a couple of days. Does it go away? Is it causing pain? Is it an unusual size or colour? A doctor can help you out.
If you are sexually active, you'll want to head over to a doctor and get checked out.
Best of luck.
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well like Grace on will & grace, you can so tell she doesn't wear a bra, but her nipples stick out..? mine dont. theyre just like flat..? is that abnormal or something? (link)
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Most girls have nipples that are flat, unless they are feeling sexually excited or particularly cold. This is normal and nothing to worry about.
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Triple G again. I need someoine to talk to. Today MLE really went off the wall. She dresses like a slut now, and today 4 da 1st time in her life, she cursed. Not because she got mad, just for fun. And every1 loves her now. In fact, people are hugging her ( not in that relationship sort of way, more in that royal way) and bringing her to class. The whole class is doing it. I'm really jealous of her. If she cries, every1's on her hand on foot. I do the same thing, every1 will stare at me and then walk away. No one even hangs out with me. Advice? (link)
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Well, people can sniff out people who are not being genuine. MLE may not be being her best or most true self, but at this point in time she's trying out new styles of dress, language, and behaviour. These may be right for her in the short term.
If you try to copy her, people will be able to tell that you are not doing what is right for you. This could have the effect of making other people annoyed.
When you describe MLE, it sounds as if you don't like her and don't care for the way she behaves. So why try to emulate her?
Being a teenager is tough, and there's nothing anyone can say to make it better. But I can genuinely say that if you do what feels best for you, you will end up attracting one or two other people who are really well suited to you. This way, you can make friends with people who like you for you - not because you dress or behave in a certain way.
Why not take a look around your school and see what people appeal to you? Instead of waiting for others to approach you, you can get yourself out there. You can join a club of an interest you have - and therefore meet a whole group of people who you'll already have something to talk about. Or you could just say hi to someone that seems interesting.
Everyone has parts of themselves they like and hate - even MLE. It's impossible to look at her outsides and know what she's feeling, but her actions suggest she's not really happy with herself and is trying to find a self she likes better.
Both you and MLE are who you are, no matter how many masks you wear. And it's okay to be you. Great, in fact.
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ok, my boyfried is 18 n im 13.And we have sex, Please dont call me a slut cuz i am NOT ONE. it doesnt matter what age i am cuz im not imature. But,we have been going out for 6 months. sometimes when we do it with out a condom dont worry its safe for some reasons he says its dry in there n it hurts, any help on what that is??? (link)
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Just an aside, as I'm sure you already know some areas would consider your boyfriend's actions to be illegal. This might be something the two of you wish to consider.
Having sex without a condom isn't safe. You run the risk of getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted infection. This is heightened if your vagina is particularly dry, as your delicate skin will be more likely to get small tears. These tears would allow an infection to pass into your system.
If you are dry, it could be for emotional or physical reasons. Physically, when a female is aroused her vagina produces a natural lubricant. If you are not getting wet, it could be because you are not excited enough - or possibly that due to your age, your hormones aren't really sorted out yet.
There are two possibilities on this front. First, make sure you are fully excited before having sex. Second, have your boyfriend wear lubricated condoms. This will not only protect your health, but will also add some lubricatin to the area. If you need additional wetness, a water-based lubricant will not hurt the condom.
If the problem isn't physical, it could be emotional. This means that on some level you might not be okay with having sex. Spend some time thinking about how you really feel, and perhaps what would make you feel more confident and secure if you decide to continue having sex.
If you do decide to continue having sex, it's very important that you let your boyfriend know how you are feeling - any concerns you have, etc. Best of luck.
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Im 16 and sexually active i either have sex or oral sex at least once or twice a day. Can this hurt my sperm count or density in any way?? Im worried becuase my sperm looked alittle thin (link)
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The more often you ejaculate, the lower the density of sperm in your semen. This is not damaging in the long run.
It happens because you are releasing sperm regularly; if you were not doing this, you would have a chance to store up more sperm - and if you had enough, your body would respond by having a wet dream.
If you stopped having sex so often, your semen would begin to have more sperm in it right away.
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Mmkay.. here's the deal.
I have plantar warts on my feet (gross, I know) and I have to go to the doctor to get them removed.
Can anyone who's had them removed before tell me the process and how abd it hurts.
Like is it majorly paniful!? It's scaring me to think about it, so I wanna know from someone whos ahd it.
Any helps appreciated
Thanks ♥ (link)
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Basically, you'll go into your doctor's office. She or he will nmb your foot with a needle. They will leave you for a few minutes to make sure the injection has worked.
If they begin to remove the warts and you can feel it, tell them. They will give you another injection. This ensures you will not feel anything during the minor operation.
Afterwards, they will wrap your feet in bandages, so make sure you've got shoes that are big enough - loose fitting sandals are great. You shouldn't feel much pain; regular painkillers for a day or so should make you feel fine.
Best of luck.
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Can you pee with a tampon in?? also...is it ok to wear a tampon even if you dont have your pieriod?? and does it hurt more to take out a "dry" tampon??? (link)
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A tampon goes into your vagina. The vagina is the hole where your period and babies come out.
Your pee comes through your urethra - a much smaller hole that you would be unable to fit a tampon in. The two are unconnected and it's perfectly okay to pee while wearing a tampon.
It's not a good idea to wear a tampon if you do not have your period. First, there is something called Toxic Shock Syndrome. You can read more about this on the info leaflet that came with your box of tampons. Basically, to ensure you good health you should only wear a tampon while you are on your period, and you should be sure to change it regularly.
Pulling out a dry tampon tends to feel uncomfortable as the cotton can 'catch' or 'tug' on your vaginal skin as you pull it out. This also increases the chance that you will leave these fibres in your vagina, which isn't healthy.
Have a look at the leaflet in the tampon box as it'll give you more detailed info. Best of luck.
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I had the Depro Vera injection on the third day of my period, and the nurse said it was recommened not to have sex for at least twenty days. that was about a month ago, and i havn't come on my period. but me and my boyfriend did have unprotected sex about two weeks after i got the shot. we are both clean.could i be pregnant?
thank you (link)
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The injection can sometimes cause your periods to stop, or to be irregular. This is something best discussed with your doctor, as they can tell you what normal side effects to expect - as well as which ones aren't as normal.
If the nurse told you to not have sex for 20 days and you had sex in 14 days, then pregnancy might also be a worry. I definitely recommend you make an appointment to see your doctor/nurse and explain the situation. They will be able to judge a realistic chance for pregnancy, and also whether your missed period is due to a possible pregnancy or the injection itself.
Best of luck.
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okay , I am new at this site.
and I have a question for you.
Me and my current boyfriend for
two years have been trying to make
a baby. and I have started my
period but it only lasted 2 days
and I normally have my periods
for 4 days. should I be worried?
sincerly Jenn (link)
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If you are concerned about the length of your cycle, the best person to speak to is your gyno. She will also be able to give you more info about conception.
If you genuinely want a child and have been trying to conceive for two years without luck, a doctor will be able to recommend testing to make sure that everything is okay with both of you.
Sorry I couldn't be more help, but when it comes to medical stuff doctors really are the best people to speak with.
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yesterday i went to my friends house and she pierced my ear with her earring. well, we did sterilize it by putting the earring/earring back in a little cup of that ear alcohol stuff..
well first she used a sharp earring (sterilized) to pierce my ear, and then she took it out like 5 minutes later and put in a regular earring. my ear is fine, no infections or anything- just a little blood at first.
um, so, i was wondering if you can get AIDS or anything by using somebody else's earring to pierce your ear. idk, cause i would think it's like a needle or whatever. im assuming my friend doesn't have AIDS, but who knows for sure?
also, does anyone know if there's a test for AIDS besides getting a blood sample?
please. (link)
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Anytime someone else's bodily fluids (like blood) come into contact with an open wound on your body, there is a chance of an infection being tramsmitted - but only if your friend is infected.
HIV can be tested for by a simple swab in your mouth; this can be done (most likely for free) at a local clinic.
Before getting too worried, why not ask yourself - and your friend - some questions. Has she had a blood transfusion? Has she had sex? Has she ever used IV drugs? If the answer to all of these questions is no, it is highly unlikely that your friend is unwell.
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Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months now he is my first boyfriend and i get to see him this weekend i kissed him like a peck on the lips but not with tounge my mom dosent really aprove of french kissing at 13 so i am afraid to go to her and ask. So were going to the movies this weekend and i told him i would french kiss him but i dont know how too i never have before and im afraid im going to mess up and the whole time kissing him im just going to think about if im going to mess up or be bad at it i dont know what do im freaking out that im going to mess up more then anything. (link)
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It's pretty hard to mess up kissing. This is because everyone likes different things, and there really aren't that many ways for anyone to prepare for kissing a certain person - in fact, your boyfriend might be as worried as you are!
Try kissing with a closed mouth again, and then see what happens. The two of you will work out together what sort of kiss is best for you. Chances are if you are enjoying the kiss, he is too.
Spending too much time stressing can make the kiss more tense or forced, though trying to relax can be difficult when you are nervous. Your boyfriend will be so happy to be kissing you, the last thing he'll be doing is working out a mental score card and rating your technique. Just try to go along with the flow - you'll probably surprise yourself.
Remember if you feel uncomfortable, it's very okay to stop and let your boyfriend know you're not quite ready for french kissing.
Best of luck!
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Hello, I'm a 15 year old girl and I'm sexually active. Me and my boyfriend have been together a long time, and we decided that we wanted to have sex. The first time I didn't have an orgasm, but I didn't think I would in the first place. But we have had sex lots of times since then and I still have not been able to have one. He read up on it and when we are having foreplay he fingers me and rubs my clit to get me close. But when he does it's like it almost feels bad! I don't know what's going on, but its just really intense and I tell him to stop because I can't handle it. It feels almost like I'm going to burst open and I get really scared. I thought that you were supposed to like the feelings, but I don't. And its not that he is rough with me, because he even uses a condom on his finger and starts off slow. But as he starts going faster and the feeling intensifies its like my body spasms almost and I can't control myself. I don't like it, but I really would like to have an orgasm. Is the intense feeling supposed to be like that your first time? I just don't know what to do... If you could help I would really appreciate it. (link)
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Okay. First of all, it sounds as if you and your boyfriend are in a supportive and honest relationship. That will make things easier.
It is normal to not have an orgasm the first time you have sex. In fact, many females have a big problem having an orgasm during sex at all - no matter how many times they have done it.
When you are excited, your clitoris might become super sensitive. Your boyfriend wearing a condom on his finger can actually mean that he will treat it less delicately because his sensitivity will be restricted. Your boyfriend will need to try rubbing it through the hood (not directly on the clitoris) or on the areas above, to the side, or below the clitoris. This should stop the almost-painful sensation. Another option is oral sex.
The best advice I can give you is to spend some time alone with yourself figuring out what feels good. If you aren't sure what you like when you are masturbating, it can be even more difficult to work out what you would like your boyfriend to do. See what feels good, what doesn't, and also find out what an orgasm is like so you know better what to expect.
Best of luck.
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i'm 14 and i've been dating this guy for 6 months and he's admitted of cheating twice and i've luckily forgiven him the first time bbut i also gave my virginty to him and i think were like totally perfect at some point of times and then at other times it's so hard to get by in this relationship... but my problem is now that he's admitted he's cheating he's acussing me of cheating and it's becoming a pain should i leave him or try to stay strong (link)
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I guess I would look at the word 'strong'. Strength, to me, implies that you are willing to protect yourself emotionally even when it might cause you pain. It's about having respect for yourself and standing up for yourself.
If you have been with someone for only 6 months and he has cheated twice, that shows a big lack of respect and caring for you (from him). The fact that he is now accusing you of cheating shows he is trying to justify his behaviour, when in reality there's nothing that can justify infidelity.
It is ultimately your decision whether to stay with this person, and the fact that you lost your virginity to him can make the idea of a breakup even more painful. Perhaps it would help to take some time to honestly think about what qualities you want (and deserve!) from a boyfriend.
Do you feel loved and cherished? Do you feel trusted and trusting? Are you genuinely happy?
Best of luck.
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Can u get pregnant from having annal sex? (link)
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Not unless semen leaks out of the anus and drips back towards the vagina. That's the short and simple answer.
Still, anal sex carries a higher risk of tearing than vaginal sex does, so condoms are a good idea to protect both of you. Tears in your anus make you more susceptible to sexually transmitted infections, while feces entering his penis might cause him problems.
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female/age 15
To be frank I need to know if I can get pregnant from fingering.
The specifications are:
I gave my boyfriend a blowjob.
After he came, he cleaned himself off with his hand and a tissue.
He wiped his hand but did not wash it. (His hand might have been sticky)
He then fingered me but not deeply.
At that point he realized that he did not wash his hand and pulled it out because neither of us want me to become pregnant.
I am a virgin.
Could I have become pregnant?
It has been about 5 weeks since my last period but I am not worried (yet), as I have not established a "regular" 28 day cycle and this is "normal" for me. (link)
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If there was semen on your boyfriend's hand (and it was still wet, suggesting that sperm could still be alive) and he entered you, there is a slight chance of pregnancy. Anytime sperm enters the vagina there is a chance.
However, if you consider the volume of sperm that was likely to have entered you (fairly low), your chances are pretty good that you're not pregnant.
Now you'll need to wait and see if you get your period. This might be tricky as yours is irregular, but if it has not come in what appears to be a longer than normal time, you'll want to take a home pregnancy test. Please be aware that stress can further mess with your period, so you may be even more irregular than normal.
Chances are you're fine, and you can make sure to avoid this in future by your boyfriend washing and drying his hands thoroughly (which he should be doing anyway before entering you).
Best of luck.
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