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humorist-workshop
Too intense
Hello, I'm a 15 year old girl and I'm sexually active. Me and my boyfriend have been together a long time, and we decided that we wanted to have sex. The first time I didn't have an orgasm, but I didn't think I would in the first place. But we have had sex lots of times since then and I still have not been able to have one. He read up on it and when we are having foreplay he fingers me and rubs my clit to get me close. But when he does it's like it almost feels bad! I don't know what's going on, but its just really intense and I tell him to stop because I can't handle it. It feels almost like I'm going to burst open and I get really scared. I thought that you were supposed to like the feelings, but I don't. And its not that he is rough with me, because he even uses a condom on his finger and starts off slow. But as he starts going faster and the feeling intensifies its like my body spasms almost and I can't control myself. I don't like it, but I really would like to have an orgasm. Is the intense feeling supposed to be like that your first time? I just don't know what to do... If you could help I would really appreciate it.
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Okay. First of all, it sounds as if you and your boyfriend are in a supportive and honest relationship. That will make things easier.
It is normal to not have an orgasm the first time you have sex. In fact, many females have a big problem having an orgasm during sex at all - no matter how many times they have done it.
When you are excited, your clitoris might become super sensitive. Your boyfriend wearing a condom on his finger can actually mean that he will treat it less delicately because his sensitivity will be restricted. Your boyfriend will need to try rubbing it through the hood (not directly on the clitoris) or on the areas above, to the side, or below the clitoris. This should stop the almost-painful sensation. Another option is oral sex.
The best advice I can give you is to spend some time alone with yourself figuring out what feels good. If you aren't sure what you like when you are masturbating, it can be even more difficult to work out what you would like your boyfriend to do. See what feels good, what doesn't, and also find out what an orgasm is like so you know better what to expect.
Best of luck.
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