17/F
Sort of long.
I am currently on an exchange for one year, with 2 months left before I go home.
At the beggining of my exchange I met these two great guys, another American like me, and a Brasilian. I started fallling for them both pretty hard. It was not serious with either of us, and the more I saw them, the more I liked them. I started getting more serious with the American, but still really wanted the Brasilian. A part of me thinks I only chose the american because it was a comfort zone, I know how americans are, and we can relate to each other in more ways. So after a while me and him were pretty close and the Brasilian kept wanting me to go to his house, which I was not comfertable with because well brasilians are knows for just having sex and playing around. So I told him I prefered the other guy so he would stop asking me over. So then I was commited to the american, but just something inside of me wanted the Brasilian, a part of me knew I should be with him. About 4 months after I chose the american, we broke up and I took the chance to make things right with the Brasilian. Only to find out he didn't want me because I was still kissing other guys, which shocked me because Brasilians are all about hooking up, no seriouse business. So for the next couple weeks I really tried getting him to notice me, and then he finally kissed me and we were sort of together. We can't really see each other that often because I have rules and stuff with my exchange. But recently again he said "you were my number one, you prefere the other guy, you could have had me as your boyfriend until now, how do I know you wont chose the other one again" and I told him "I chose you, I chose someone who lives in a different country knowing I might never see you again but I am still willing to try, everything I do, shows how much I care for you and that I chose you." and in all honesty, he is the only one I want, he is my number one.
How do I fix things?
All he sees now is that I left him before for the other guy and that I might do it again.
Here I am giving it all I got, calling him, texting him, wanting to hang out, and he just ignores me. And he has the nerve to say I am his number one and that I prefere the other guy yet he does nothing to show I am his number one.
ahhhh what do I do.
Oh and also, about a week before this happened he was talking about how he wants to get a green card and come live with me in the US. And that coming from a Brasilians mouth, it means something.
-Lost&confused
The mistake you made here is generalizing all Brazilians into one category. No group of people have the exact same feelings about anything, because a group is full of individuals. And individuals have different morals, opinions, and goals.
Even though you really want this guy, you need to look at the positives. You're going back to the states in a couple months. Things would be very complicated when you leave if you started dating now.
Just because he said he would get a green card and come live with you doesn't mean he would. And you're seventeen, how would your family feel about that? How would you feel about that? You're only seventeen. Would you want to be around him 24/7?
All of that aside, if you really still want to keep trying with this guy, I'd give it one more go. Try to do it in person and in private, wherever that may be. Tell him that you made a mistake and that you could tell you did even when you were still with the American. Tell him that you're sorry and that you only want to be with him. Tell him that you learned from your mistake and that it won't happen again.
If he doesn't believe you or doesn't want to try to move forward with a relationship, you'll have to move on. You can't make a guy want to be in a relationship with you, and texting/calling him after he states he doesn't want to date will only push him further away.
Good luck,
Darby
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Hi!!( This question might be long...SORRY!!)
Okay, well I just recently talked to my boy friend from when I was like...6 or 7. lol We didn't really call each other ... but we were!! His name is Andrew...and than he was very shy,I think he still is to.Our mothers worked together and they became real close friends. So, we met each other...and we seen each other SO MUCH...than he started to like me..and so on. Well, now I'm 13 1/2 and he's 12. I just talked to him at the end of last month and I started to have those type of feelings for him again. So..I told him I liked him and he said we don't really now each other. Well..I told him we can get to know each other better than we can be more than that maybe, and he agreed. Well... I tried to look him up on myspace...his name on there is just andrew...but I can't find him... would any of you like to try to find him? His last name is Vaughn. If, you find him...please tell!! Also, when I text him during the day he doesn't text back...than I text him back and.it's around 9 or 9:30 he talks to me. So...do you think he doesn't like me?? Is he avoiding me?He acted like it...though he told me that he still has a pic of me and when I asked him if he had a girl friend he said no..than I said I didn't have a boy friend than he said "Cool".. So...what do you people think? Also when my friend and I call him he tells me in a text he doesn't like to talk on the phone...I think he is still shy , or do you think he just wants to talk to me? I gave him my email ...do you think he will email me?? He tells me he doesn't get on the computer much. Well...HOW will we get to know each other unless we talk?? I'm so confused!! Please someone give me some advice!! I'm freaking out!!
Thanks for listeing !!
I'll rate fair!!
Well, he is only twelve. I think you should give him a little bit of space. It seems like he's not really making any of the moves toward a relationship. You're the one that texts and calls him and he's even said that he doesn't really know you and that he doesn't like to talk on the phone.
He might just be shy, or he might not be interested. Only time will tell.
At this point, you need to put the ball in his court. Don't text him first and definitely don't text him again when he doesn't answer. Let him be the one to text you next time. If he wants to talk to you, he will. If he likes you, you'll know by the effort he makes to talk to you and get to know you better.
Also, if you want to know his myspace url, ask him. There's no way us searching his name will work, because we don't know what he looks like and Andrew Vaughn isn't an outlandish name.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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So I would like a huge list of sites that have a variety of things that you could/would need if you had or are having a baby. Like Formula, Nursery furniture, personal hygeine (sp?) , clothing, childcare (at least help pay), etc..
I mean anything. I need a lot of lists and websites that will help.
Thank you.
Here are some sites:
http://everything2.com/node/1291995
http://baby.families.com/blog/a-list-of-things-you-will-need-for-your
http://shop.nurturecenter.com/momneedchec.html
Hope these help,
Darby(:
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Well I want to know of the likely hood of me making the 09/10 cheerleading squad at my school. I made the 08/09 squad last year but for some reason i'm nervous I won't make it again for the new school year but yet i'm almost 100% sure I will. It's the same coach and everything so is it likely that i'll make it?
As long as you keep practicing, you should make it. Just make sure you're loud enough and that you have enough energy. I'm sure if you've been on the squad before (and did well) and it's the same coach (and he/she liked you) you'll make it again.
Good luck!
Darby(:
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16/f
i wear thongs just about everyday, i even wear then to lacrosse practice. (but i don't wear them to bed.)
is that bad? could it cause any problems 'down there'?
I don't see where that would cause any problems. As long as they're not too tight and haven't bothered you up to this point, I think you'll be okay. Just make sure you change them everyday.
Darby(:
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Okay well heres the story .. ill try and keep it short.. im a teenager and ive been with my guy for over 3 months now.. and recently all of the group went out. Now theres alot of us.. maybe 30 all together?!
and the thing is.. my guy really likes me .. well .. he says he loves me .. like Really loves me .. but i dont know why i just dont feel the same way anymore?! .. is that what usually happens?
i mean i danced with him that night .. but towards the the end of the night i was thinking do i really want to be with him .. and i ddnt spk to him for a good solid hour, i didnt even dance with him!.. everytime he came up to me .. i said can i be left alone! Ive thought about this before.. 'do i really want to be with him'
For some odd reason i just cant understand myself, i spoke to my friends about it, and they said i should think about it before i do anything!
Im sooo confused.. he even said to me the next day online.. are you okay with me.. i feel like im loosing you! I just didnt know what to say!...
Can anyone help? =]
Of course you should think about it before you do anything. I would say this is fairly normal in a relationship, but usually relationships last longer than three months before those feelings come up. You might be spending too much time with him or talking to him. There are so many forms of communication now, it's seriously hard to get away from people for even a few minutes. With texting and e-mail, people can communicate with you at any time.
I think you're probably just feeling smothered right now. I start feeling like that when I'm in a relationship and a guy is getting too serious too soon. (it sounds like this guy might be doing that)
Think about how things were before you were dating him and how things have changed since then. How would things be if he wasn't in your life? Would you be happier that way?
People always say you don't miss things until you lose them, so you should think hard about it before you make any rash decisions.
If you decide to stick with it for a while and those thoughts come up more frequently, you should probably break things off. You don't want to stay with someone that you know you can't care about as much as they care about you. If you do that, you'll be in the same position you are now, 6 months from now. It will be even harder to break things off then. I would probably stick with it a little longer though. You don't want to do anything you'll regret.
Darby(:
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Im an 19 YO girl & im having problems with my best friend (a 19 YO guy). He just recently started dating this new, younger guy & ever since thay started dating we haven't really talked or hung out or anything like we used to. Me & my best friend live together, work together, etc. So im used to him aleays being there when I need him. However, we have been fighting more & talking less. Just recently we went to thw drive-ins & the entire time he was texting his boyfriend or sleeping in the car. When I tried talking to him about, he really didn't have anything to say. What should I do to fix our friendship & to get my best friend back????
As hard as it is, you need to try to give him a little bit of space. If he feels like you're breathing down his neck all the time, he'll drift even further away. He's most likely in a 'honeymoon' period with his new boyfriend. During that period guys and girls only want to talk to and be with the person they're dating. Once things settle down a bit and they've been dating a while, he will look to you for support and to spend time away from his bf for a little while.
It's good that you live and work together though, that means you see him a lot. Just try to stay positive and give him a little time to sort things out. If he keeps drifting away, talk to him again in a few weeks. Don't blame him for anything though, he'll just get defensive.
He doesn't want to be put between you and his boyfriend, so if you do have to talk to him again say something like, "(Insert best friend's name here), I understand that you're happy with (Insert boyfriend's name) but I don't want our relationship to drift apart any further. I don't want to fight with you and I'm happy for you guys, but I miss my best friend." Tell him that you need him to be there for you like he used to be and like you've always been.
If he feels like you're asking for his friendship, he will be more apt to see what he's doing from your point of view without feeling the need to defend himself or his boyfriend.
Hope this helps(:
Darby
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15/f
I really think babies are cute. I know there not cheap. But since 2 years ago I've desired to start my own family, I've always wanted one- Twin girls, boy, girl...(married of course) something along that line. I've never had a date/boyfriend. I really want my own kids! Or atleast try sex... My desires are really bad right now... My crush K isn't helping me fight my urge of it either. He is are schools 'player', also my friend of a few years. Any tips & or suggestions?
-Kaori
My suggestion to you would be to NOT have a baby. You're not ready. Don't have sex either. You're not ready. If you were, your reason wouldn't be to 'try it'. Not only are babies expensive, they require 24/7 attention. I don't know if you've ever been around a baby allll the time or not. They are extremely cute. But it's not like visiting family for a day that have a baby. They don't go home and go to bed at 8 p.m. and wake up at 8 the next morning. Most of them are up throughout the night, several times. It is close to impossible to get a full good night's sleep with a baby. Also, you cannot go out with friends on a consistent basis. No sleepovers. Unless your parents are willing to help you raise the baby 85% of the time, you would be really tied down. Not to mention the fact that you have school.
Wanting to have a baby because they're cute is not a good reason at all. Babies are great and everything. But only when two people are in love and financially, mentally, and physically well enough to provide the attention and things that they need all day, every day. Babies are 100% dependent on their parents.
If you want to be around babies, try babysitting for someone. Until you are older, have more money, and are more responsible; don't have children.
Darby
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ok. when my girlfriend and i are making out in bed and things she sometimes puts her leg in between my legs so that her upper leg is pressed against my crotch. i was just wondering what thats about or what it means or anything?
That's either a comfortable position for her to makeout in OR she's trying to feel you up a little bit with her leg.
Probably the last one.
Darby(:
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im a fm 14 years old.
i do cheerleading and gymnastics for 10 hours a week every week all year
my left lower back is killing me. like some times i can barely walk it hurts so bad. like as i type its hurts like a sharpe painn.
my doctor said i was just over working it but since my check up its gotten alot worse.
can anyone tell me whats wrong?
Have you tried slowing down with the sports any? If not, you're still overworking it and it's getting worse because of that. Try using a heating pad on it and slowing down some. If that doesn't work, you're going to have to go back to your doctor and see what he thinks you should do now.
Darby(:
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Hi there. I'm 16/f. Well here's the story. My mom has a boyfriend,i'm not sure how long they've been dating exactly but my guess is about 4 months? anyways, he has 2 really cute nefews who are 18. But there is one in peticular i think is really cute. But i'm just now starting to meet his family, and i've only met this guy twice, and all it was like "hi i'm so and so". but see both of these boys are having a graduation party next sunday, and i want to go to get to know him better, but i think it may be really weird. like since i don't really know them i don't want them to think, why the heck is she here. but thats my problem. i overanalyze absoulutly evething. my mom thinks i should go because i'm "associated" in with their family, but i just think the boys will think i'm weird for going. but my mom says they won't mind because they're pretty laid back and easy going. but i just don't know. so do you guys think i should go, or would that just be completly weird?? thanks! and also, to get to know him better, what should i talk to him about? i really stink at the whole boy situation. thank you!
I really don't know if you should be trying to get with your mother's boyfriend's family. If your mother ends up marrying the guy, that would make you related to the nephews by marriage. Talk to your mother about it first and see what she thinks. It just seems a little bit off to me.
And if you do go for it, talk to him about things that most people like. Music, movies, hobbies, school, summer vacation. Just random things that everyone has opinions about.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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Hey, I had my first sexual encounter last week. And some weird things have been happening, and I'm a little afraid. We had protected sex, but I haven't been feeling well for the past couple of days. I think it might be the flu, but I'm not positive that it is.. What are early signs of pregnancy, just in case? I don't really know what they are, but I would like to be on the lookout for symptoms.
The first sign is usually very sore boobs. Also, fatigue, excessive hunger, frequent urination, cramps, mood swings, and of course missed period.
If you have the flu, you should go to your doctor, just to make sure it's not the swine flu.
hope this helps,
Darby
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Any tips on swallowing cum?
I can't seem to do it, I gag almost every time and either cough it up or just avoid the situation altogether by asking my boyfriend to warn me before it happens, and I get off.
Just let it go straight down your throat. Don't keep it in your mouth and then swallow. Just push your mouth down a little but further right when he cums and it will go down your throat instead of in your mouth.
Also, if it really bothers you or grosses you out, don't do it. I'm sure your boyfriend won't mind that much because a lot of girls won't swallow.
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i just got my hair cut a little past my shoulders and now im sorta regretting it. no one (except family) has really said anything nice about it or ANYTHING in that matter. i don't know if it looks bad? its not poofy or anything i just wanted to try something different. does short hair look bad on girls? im tan and normal height with wavy reddish brown hair.
It depends on the individual. Sometimes short hair looks good on girls and sometimes long hair is better. Regardless, what's done is done. Try some cute style's with it. If you like how it looks, don't worry about what people think about it. I cut my own hair all the time and it's always outta control. Everyone hates it, but I like it, so it's okay. It will grow back, just give it a little time.
Darby(:
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i saw a trailer a while ago, and i forgot what the movie was called and ive been dying to watch it.
It's about i think these kids? or people, and they find a list of numbers, and the numbers happen to be of dates of natural disasters, and they were like "well what happens when the numbers end..?"
anyways please help!
thanks so much!
It's called The Knowing. It has Nicolas Cage in it. It's good.
Darby(:
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I know this sounds random but I have been thinking about sleeping with My boyfriend and he would be My first.
The thing is he has told Me he is also a virgin, but for some reason I can't quite believe him, I trust him about everything else but I just can't get My head around that he is a virgin, because he isn't the type of boy who appears to be and his mates are always going on about who they have recently slept with.
I really don't know what to believe.
Secondly if I was to sleep with him and he was a virgin, would he know what he was doing because I personally don't have a clue, I'm shy and easily embarrassed. I've been in a relationship with him for a while but still don't feel I know him that well.
Female - 17
If you honestly do not believe him, don't do it. But remember, just because his friends aren't virgins it doesn't mean that he's not either.
And as far as him knowing what he's doing, it just kind of comes naturally. The guy I lost my virginity to was a virgin too. It's a natural thing so it's not difficult to do or anything.
Darby(:
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well hi:) i'm 15 and female . for the last couple of days i've been having like disharge coming from . . . down there :$ like it hasn't smelled or anything . it's jus like if I lay down for a little while and then stand up it's like coming out and I have to like change underwear and stuff. it's sick . well my mom said that if I took an antibiotic (or whatever it's called) & it'll get rid of it if it's an infection . because everytime I have infections doctors give me antibiotics but I don't know if there are different kinds of antibiotics and idk if the kind she has will work . because I am ready for SEX haha . and at first I was insecure about my body & when I got secure with it enough to be ready for sex this freakin discharge shows up and I don't want a guy to be creeped out about that . so will antibiotics work ?
Don't take antibiotics without going to a doctor first. If you take antibiotics when you're not sick, you'll stand more of a chance of getting immune to them. Then, when you're really sick, antibiotics won't help you. If it's so much discharge that you're having to change your underwear often, you need to check in with your family doctor or a gynecologist. They will instruct you further on what to do.
Darby(:
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So last night I had a small get together with me my best friend the guy I like and a few other friends, we were playing truth or dare and I got dared to kiss the guy I like, later one of my friends told the guy I really enjoyed the kiss(he knows I like him) and then I found out the guy I like likes my best friend....I talked to them both and they both told me they were sorry it happend, and after my bff left this morning I've been crying over this, I talked to my friend and after I told her I couldn't talk to her cuz I didn't want her to feel bad(she said she did last night) she said she had to go an think about some things. And I can't help but blame myself for all of this and I don't kno what to do, so idk just any advice on how to fix this or get my mind off of it would be great.
It's not your fault. You didn't know that he liked her. Just take it easy. You haven't done anything wrong. No one in this situation really did anything wrong. It's just one of those things that come up from time to time. You should go out and see a movie or hang out with a couple of your girl friends and have a movie night. Just to take your mind off of it. (:
Darby
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14/f
Ok if you looked at the title, obviously, its about cutting. I cut myself. I've been cutting since the beginning of 8th grade. I'm in 9th now. I stopped off and on in 8th grade and I only did my wrists. I stopped for awhile after that cause my friends saw and they sorta helped me.
Then beginning of freshman year I started again. I have stuff going on so I'm doing this for no reason. I think you would know that though.
Then I stopped for a couple months and I started cutting my ankles since no one saw there. Then a couple months I've been cutting myself everyday. I got really bad on this. I started cutting my ankles, waits, wrists, legs, arms, shoulders, and mostly my thighs. I know I should stop but I don't know how. It does make me feel better and it helps me get through the day. I'm 14 and ruining myself. What should I do?
Lastly, I want to know if anyone else has ever gone through this here. And if they were around my age. And if I'm crazy.
My parents never knew about this. But I had a bad influence on my younger brother. He did it once and my parents found out but they didn't really do anything. But its weird how you'll do it to yourself but you start crying when someone else you know does it. Like my friends have done it before and I found out after I started doing it to myself last year.
Thanks, please help.
17/f here.
I started cutting when I was eleven and stopped when I was 15. Cutting is an addiction. And after I cut for four years, I realized that it was a pointless addiction. I had problems before that should have been resolved with therapy, not cutting. Cutting only lead me to have further problems that needed to be resolved.
You need to take a long, hard look at what is making you so upset that you feel the need to do this. Another important step is to tell your parents. They already know your brother did it once. But you need to tell them that you're doing it. It sounds as though they didn't take your brother's case too seriously. You need to tell them that you've been doing this every single day and show them some of the cuts to make it more real to them.
Whether you want to or not, you need to seek therapy. Your ways of coping are never going to work. They're just going to further complicate your issues. You need to stop before you really mess up your body. Cutting causes you to lose blood, which causes you to lose red blood cells that can never be replaced. It can lead to anemia among other things.
Also, once you really get help, you don't want to have those scars all over your body. They make for really bad first impressions, especially at interviews. Trust me.
If you need further assistance, inbox me.
Darby(:
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i have two little sisters and they drive me crazy! what do i do? i hate getting mad at them and i always waste all my energy on them. i feel they don't respect me at all and im their big sister. how do i just ignore them?
I don't know how old they are, but I'm guessing they're fairly young. What you need to remember is that kids will be kids. You can't force them to behave or respect you. It's not your responsibility to control them either. You need to tell your parents that they're really getting to you and that there needs to be a few more boundaries and rules set. I'm sure your little sisters really do look up to you and respect you. Try not to scream at them when they're getting on your nerves. Kids don't react well to that at all. The next time they're really getting on your nerves, tell your mother or father, "I'm going to go on a short walk." and explain to her what your sisters are doing at the time and why it's bothering you. Then go on a short walk just to get out of the house for a minute.
Hope this helps
Darby(:
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