Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice

Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics


Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)


Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Contact Us


Question Posted Saturday May 9 2009, 3:11 pm

I know this sounds random but I have been thinking about sleeping with My boyfriend and he would be My first.

The thing is he has told Me he is also a virgin, but for some reason I can't quite believe him, I trust him about everything else but I just can't get My head around that he is a virgin, because he isn't the type of boy who appears to be and his mates are always going on about who they have recently slept with.

I really don't know what to believe.

Secondly if I was to sleep with him and he was a virgin, would he know what he was doing because I personally don't have a clue, I'm shy and easily embarrassed. I've been in a relationship with him for a while but still don't feel I know him that well.

Female - 17

[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?

WittyUsernameHere answered Monday May 11 2009, 7:03 am:
The virgin thing...

Wait until after you have sex, and ask him if he was really a virgin. Tell him you don't care if he lied, you're self concious too, you just want to know.

He might have lied. Its far, far, far more common for guys to lie about NOT being virgins than to claim to have never had sex falsely. It doesn't have to be a big deal.

Theres guys of all kinds in every group. I had four close guy friends (my "inner circle" that I saw every day) and of the five of us, four of us lost our virginities by 15 and the last not until just before or after he turned 18. 4/5 by 15 was relatively uncommon at my highschool though.

As to the second question, sex is a skill. Its learned, and you get better the more you have it. Another reason relationships are better than one night stands, you get more practice.

Anyway, let me give you some perspective on the whole "being good at sex" thing.

The first sex you have with someone you care about is always, ALWAYS the most awkward sex you will ever have. Maybe not the worst, there are worse things that can happen during sex than inexperience, but definitely the most awkward.

Lets say a guy is really experienced. Lets say he knows several different ways to stimulate each major erogenous zone on a woman, knows how to get a girl into the mood, and knows a few special tricks to make a girl sit up in surprise.

The first time you have sex, as a person as knowledgeable as the above, is like being blindfolded while throwing lawn darts, and being able to peek afterward to see where they landed.

Every girl's body is different, and while you'll have a better idea of what to try if you're experienced (thus shortening the learning curve) its still entirely possible you'll poke a girl (no pun intended) in a way she doesn't like or worse, that hurts, and completely kill the mood.

Even if you don't fuck up, its possible you won't figure out what she DOES like in time to make the most out of it. This goes for both sexes, I'm a guy though so I think of it from the guy's perspective.

What gets you through it, is the mutual understanding that its a learning experience. Talking about it before hand, going into it being ready to say "Ow, that hurts, try this" and keep the mood going in spite of awkward elbows and clumsy clothes. Be open to suggestions, and offer constructive criticism.

If you expect to _learn_ to be good at sex, instead of expecting to just _be_ good at sex, you'll have alot more fun (and probably end up being alot better at sex)

Final Note:

I'm not telling you to have sex or not to have sex. Besides that being your decision, you didn't give us enough information to really try to do it for you. You just told us that you think something because his friends talk about sex alot.

Not even that you know a bunch of girls they've slept with, just that they talk about it. Remember what I said earlier? Its alot more common for guys to exaggerate their numbers than to try to pretend there isn't a number.

[ WittyUsernameHere's advice column | Ask WittyUsernameHere A Question

diz_anjel_grl answered Sunday May 10 2009, 10:16 pm:
If you're questioning whether to do it or not, don't do it unless you're sure about it.

Lol, just because his friends aren't virgins doesn't mean that he's not. I mean try to believe this, I had a boyfriend who had an ex girlfriend for 2 years, and he's still a virgin. He had his own reasons, along with my current boyfriend. My current boyfriend's reason was because he knew she wasn't the one for him. And my past boyfriend, his reason was because they both weren't ready even though it's been 2 years.

You should just talk to him about it, tell him how you feel. For me, i just approached it like "are you sure you're not a virgin?" etc. etc... LOL!

Usually, when guys are virgins.. either way, they know what they're doing. I don't know how.. but it just comes naturally to them, that's what i'm thinking.

[ diz_anjel_grl's advice column | Ask diz_anjel_grl A Question

chrissibug answered Sunday May 10 2009, 3:10 pm:
well let see her I know your at that age were you want to get closer but look at this way I'm not going to mean ok Im just going to to you.first get on birth control ok you never no what could happen second thing use might be in love with this person and you want to take it farther but if you nt going to be with him for the rest of your life play it safe lots of girls at a young age want to make love have some one love them I no you are still young look at it this way to i was sexally active at 16 it was my first time but i got on birth conrol i was ready to have a baby or afamily i was just sick of being the only girl in school i wanted to be cool every one was mean cause i never dated it helped me what i did but thiers also some bad things you gotta be carful dont tell every some people like to speard rumors and twist story they call you qa slut or other things school really about learning getting a career then go fing the husband and get married dont worry about a guy worry about you and your fututre the time will come when that guy wants you you gt lots of time to worry about that like in your twentys if you save your self every man will no your a true women.

[ chrissibug's advice column | Ask chrissibug A Question

Andreaaaa answered Sunday May 10 2009, 3:04 pm:
Sounds like your not ready to have sex. ESPECIALLY with him. Sex should be something you share with someone who you absolutely love. ESPECIALLY for your first time.

Seems like you already picked up on the whole "This dude will say anything to get in my pants..." trick and believe me, guys knows their better off telling us their virgins than not.

So wait.

[ Andreaaaa's advice column | Ask Andreaaaa A Question

mxpimpette26 answered Sunday May 10 2009, 5:28 am:
If you don't believe him and feel like you don't know him that well I would not lose my v-card to him. Also, if he is telling the truth about being a virgin then there is going to be an awkward moment when yall do start having intercourse. Sex for the first time is scary sometimes painful, so make sure you are having it with someone how is going to consider your feelings and do his best to make sure he is not hurting you to bad (if it does start hurting). But if you in any way second guess ANYTHING I would say not to have sex with him right now.

[ mxpimpette26's advice column | Ask mxpimpette26 A Question

Darby answered Saturday May 9 2009, 11:53 pm:
If you honestly do not believe him, don't do it. But remember, just because his friends aren't virgins it doesn't mean that he's not either.
And as far as him knowing what he's doing, it just kind of comes naturally. The guy I lost my virginity to was a virgin too. It's a natural thing so it's not difficult to do or anything.


[ Darby's advice column | Ask Darby A Question

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: How long does a package take?
Next Question >>> internet service

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

Can this workout?
Don't know how to feel
No friends, social anxiety.
I'm going to be alone forever
Are they my issues or their issues?
how do i tell my friend i like her?(were both girls)
Waiting for my boyfriend who is going to prison part 2
I've had a crush on him since high school.
I have this friend...
he read my messaage but isn't replying, is he interested?
Hmmmm..what to Do what to do
my best friend beat up my little brother
What to do I do of my step dad is a douche?
Pesuading my parents to let me get my ears pierced
What is the best way to handle this guy?
Is she playing games or she really just don't know who it was
Im young but stressed out about the future
chances of getting pregnant without sex
No more laughter
runways / moving out

All content on this page posted by members of is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker