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love, sex, babies...ect...
15/f
I really think babies are cute. I know there not cheap. But since 2 years ago I've desired to start my own family, I've always wanted one- Twin girls, boy, girl...(married of course) something along that line. I've never had a date/boyfriend. I really want my own kids! Or atleast try sex... My desires are really bad right now... My crush K isn't helping me fight my urge of it either. He is are schools 'player', also my friend of a few years. Any tips & or suggestions?
-Kaori
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Don't have sex.
You are 15 years old and there's a lot more valuable things you could be doing with your time. Just because other girls are irresponsible and become teen mothers, doesn't mean you have to follow in their shadow.
I can understand the want to have a baby. I'm 18, and I would like one too - eventually. My life is still beginning & I'm too young to put the burden of a child onto my shoulders. I'm not saying I don't like children, or I disapprove of them. I love children, but do I love teen mothers? Not really.
Continue with school, go to college, get a career & then start a family. Having a baby at your age will most definitely end bad. Wait until you're an adult. You're a baby yourself, and you cannot take care of another living human when most kids your age can barely take care of themselves.
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Wanting to be a mom and a wife is not a bad aspiration at all. However, like any aspiration, it takes a lot of hard work and maturity. It is not something that any fifteen year old is ready to do. If that's what you want to do with your life, be patient. Work on growing up right now and becoming the kind of person you need to be in order to do that. You'll need to be strong, smart, and patient. If you're that excited about it, perhaps you can take some home-economics classes at your school to learn how to cook better, plan nutritionally complete meals, etc...
As far as sex, many girls your age are curious. However, having sex can be very dangerous. It's not just something you "try". I'm not going to tell a fifteen-year-old that she should have sex. However, if you DO make that choice it is very very important that you know how to protect yourself. First of all, you need to use some form of birth control. That can mean getting on the pill, birth control patches, or shots. It can also mean using condoms, but condoms alone are not always safe. They can break, rip, or tear, and in that case are useless. This can happen without you even knowing. Second of all, you need to use some form of protection from sexually transmitted diseases (such as condoms). Sometimes guys will tell you "Oh I was tested" or "I know I'm clean, we don't have to use a condom." but you must insist on using protection no matter what. Thirdly, never let a guy tell you that "pulling out" will keep you from getting pregnant.
The other risk that perhaps isn't as much discussed is the emotional risk of sex. You may think you can be emotionally detached and have sex. You may think you are in love or that you trust some guy enough to have sex with him, but chances are that having sex will emotionally effect you in ways that you may not even realize right now. Having sex makes people feel vulnerable, which is why it's often best to wait until you are in a committed relationship where you trust the other person very much. For some people, that's waiting until they're married. At fifteen, you are most likely going through a lot of changes that are a normal part of growing up. Throwing sex into the equation complicates things further, and can cause you more pain.
By the way, have you ever tried babysitting? Maybe if there is someone who would trust you to babysit for them, you would get to be around babies and take care of them and play with them and that might help curb your urge to have one of your own.
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My suggestion to you would be to NOT have a baby. You're not ready. Don't have sex either. You're not ready. If you were, your reason wouldn't be to 'try it'. Not only are babies expensive, they require 24/7 attention. I don't know if you've ever been around a baby allll the time or not. They are extremely cute. But it's not like visiting family for a day that have a baby. They don't go home and go to bed at 8 p.m. and wake up at 8 the next morning. Most of them are up throughout the night, several times. It is close to impossible to get a full good night's sleep with a baby. Also, you cannot go out with friends on a consistent basis. No sleepovers. Unless your parents are willing to help you raise the baby 85% of the time, you would be really tied down. Not to mention the fact that you have school.
Wanting to have a baby because they're cute is not a good reason at all. Babies are great and everything. But only when two people are in love and financially, mentally, and physically well enough to provide the attention and things that they need all day, every day. Babies are 100% dependent on their parents.
If you want to be around babies, try babysitting for someone. Until you are older, have more money, and are more responsible; don't have children.
Darby
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