askhegibson
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: I just got off my period about a week ago and now im having cramps and spotting. What does that mean?
GO TO THE DOCTOR! Your body knows when somethings wrong and you do too. So......the only person can let you know exactly what's going on is a professional in that field. Don't try to ignore it; your body is by far important. ITS YOURS!

Q: okay my ex/the love of my life moved like a month ago and i started off very depressed but i kindda got over it due to the other guys and for the past few days i started havong dreams about him like one night i had a dream he moves back and and he is completly changed and forgets about me and is a major nam whore.and last night i had a dream he moved back and he was like obsessed with me and when i would talk to a guy he would hug me and make me feel speacil to make him leave. i dont kno what to do yea he is moving back NEXT YEAR no i dont have anyway to connect him. yea im madly in love and yesi do not know what to do i miss him like crazy but just thinking about him gets me depressed how can i get rid of it?? thxx
DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER! Wrong! The only reason you keep dreaming about him is because you are allowing him to occupy to much of your time. Enjoy life and if he is apart of your story then he will be back in your life. If not; its time to write a new book.

Q: I was just playing with one of my neighbor's daughters and she wanted to go around in circles over and over again like ring around the rosy, so i played with her because she really liked it and then when we stopped i was very very dizzy. so i want to know how can i get rid of dizzyness without and medication or anything like that?

Thanks for any answers in advance!!!
WAIT A SECOND! If you were going around in circles over and over again then that's why you were dizzy. Its like being on a ride at the CARNIVAL. That same ride that goes and goes and goes and when you get off you feel sick. IT GOES AWAY! Just be mindful that you need to only do what your body can handle. And play other games with your neighbor's daughter.

Q: I'm a current worker at a hospital I only work 2 days in there. I want to transfer to another position which is secretary. In the job application it asks me why i want to transferred and i really don't know what to say because i hate the department where I'm working at. which is in a cafeteria. what are some things i could say? for example i need more days instead of saying i hate that place. Please help. I would appreciate it.
YOU WORK AT THE CAFETERIA? You don't have to say anything else. WHY DO YOU WANT TO TRANSFER? One thing I enjoy about working for this company is opportunity. The opportunity to learn different positions. I feel I can use all the the skills that I've developed in my current position to help in other areas of the hospital.

I hope this helps.

Q: anyone know of any tricks or things to help solve this, very annoying. about 1-2 minutes in and its done
Slow down! Free your mind! Sometimes we think to much about what's going to happen instead of enjoying the moment. TAKE YOUR TIME! Enjoy being with the person first. When your being romanced a partner enjoys everything! RELAX and enjoy its worth the wait!

Q: Hey Im 16 and a senior in highschool. I met this guy in an interschool competition. He's the same age but is a senior in some other school. We started talking after the competition and became good friends. We have gone out on three dates till now. And yeah, we have kissed each other and made out a little. We cannot resist each other at all. And hence the makeouts were a mutual desicion. I am falling for him. But the problem is that even though he says he is falling for me, he keeps on telling me he cannot date me cause he's a bad guy and he cares for me too too much to hurt me. He says he is not one of those dateable guys who will love their girl completely and he might find a new girl and dump me.That would hurt me and he doesnt want to do that! He hasnt had a past record of cheating or anything it's just that he tells me he wants to be sure before he asks a girl out that he will be completely loyal to her and not flirt around with other girls. He also liked this girl a year back and he says he feels guilty that he got over her and fell for me! But when we meet we actually act like we are dating, cause he gets me stuff, he tells me he loves me, we hold hands. we actually act like a couple in love. we also talk all the time. I dont know what to do. Because I really want to be with him. But cant figure out how to make him ask me out? and if he is really a bad guy? HELP.
WAKE UP! He is telling you that he is not ready for a relationship! That's a good thing. Can you imagine if he lied to you and then cheated on you. Why go through all that! Don't you think for one second that he doesn't think your worth it! But....he's young and dumb and that's what young men do at that age. They want to see how many young ladies that can get to like them then they can be "THE MAN". It doesn't mean your that your the man it means your still a BOY. TAKE YOUR TIME! He may not even be the right guy for you. Enjoy being young and being friends with everyone for right now. When he's ready and you're ready then let him find you. What I mean by find.....you will be way out of his ledge. I think your worth so much more then just a SECOND look! Don't you!

Q: Hey! On Saturday night i got with this guy, his name is Luke. After we kissed maybe half an hour later he hooked up with another girl, and so i hooked up with a guy he knows..just for fun. At the end of the night all our friends ended up going to someone's house for drinks and the whole night he was kissing me and stuff, and he asked me to go back to his house and i said no. (I dont just drop my knickers for anybody)

Luke is really attractive, he can get whoever he wants whenever he wants, and he knows it. He's known for sleeping around quite a bit.. So i want to try and get him to like me and see me more than just a toy he can use.. Already a bonus because he told his best friend that i'm beautiful. Does anybody know what kind of "mind games" i can play to make this happen? Like play hard to get or something? If it doesnt work out im not going to be upset, I just think we'd be good together and i want to see to what extent i can make it happen. Im going to a nightclub on Thursday with my girl friends and he will be there with his friends.

Thank you!
DROP HIM! You need to make yourself unavailable for a while. If you really like him, then let him chase you. And......why do you want to be with someone that sleeps around. Remember you said he thinks your beautiful. Then act like a PRIZE! Only the one tha is worthy should be with BEAUTY! Is he worthy of such a place in your life? I think you already know the answer to that question.

Q: What do I say to someone that I really love and just got together with how much I care and love him in a way that he will remember forever?
WAIT! You just met him! SLOW DOWN! If you love someone today then you will love them tomorrow. Please get to know them first. You may LOVE things about them and then their may be things you DON'T. Enjoy the chase!

Q: A couple of months ago, I smoked spice and lots of it at one time, causing me to sit down and i saw at my vision blackened. I found myself in a repetitive journey of colors that looked like amoeba swirling tighter and tighter then loosening up and swirling the other way. the whole time i heard what sounded like duck tape being unwrapped. i felt like i didnt exist on earth and there was no human entities or life. i was in purgatory and have always been there, just never realized it. it was one of the most scariest experiences. i woke up a couple of times in between by my friends waking me but went back into the phase. the next day my friends told me i was having convulsions. my eyes rolled back in my head, my legs lifted up and i twitched a lot. i didn't bite my tongue nor scream or foam at the mouth. I know yall are not doctors, but if i could get suggestions on what type of seizure it was ? (i researched and found out spice gives seizures) and if that one seizure could have most likely caused permanent brain damage? i feel fine and still make good grades and communicate regularly with people. thanks!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Okay I know everyone is looking to do something different. But why are you trying to get high off of SPICES! Hopefully this should have scared you enough to stop! And you are right SEIZURES are known to cause Brain Damage. I lost a co-worker from a Seizure and trust me; he didn't even see it coming. IF YOU GET SUCH GOOD GRADES THEN YOU SHOULD BE SMART! Then guess what! Don't do it again!

Q: i usually have sex once or twice a week because me and my boyfriend don't live together but recently i spent 2 days with him and we had a lot more sex than i usually do, 2 days after the last time we had did it i got my period and it would burn after i peed and it didn't empty my bladder all the way, and my blood was brown and pasty almost like clay, and once i could smell my pee and it stunk, but this was only once. 3 days after that (today) when i pee it doesn't hurt anymore but it itches like crazy right after i pee and for about 2 minutes after, it's really bothering me, and i usually use tampons but for a little while today i used a panti liner (i usually use tampons) and i barely bled, but i noticed dark brown,and then later saw red like normal. i researched it in the beginning and thought it was urinary track infection but i figure it's from my period since it started around the time i started my period, so i hope it will go away, but now it's itchy, and i don't know if that's a UTF sympthom. does anyone know what this is or has ever experienced this before?

thank you, LiseJose
DON'T GET MAD! But I really think you need to go to the doctor. Your body reacts differently to bacteria which can come from numerous things. I suggest you go see a professional so that you can make sure its just a slight bacteria infection or find out what it could be. NO! You don't need to get yourself all worked up it could be nothing. But rather safe then sorry. And I mean those words literally. RATHER SAFE THEN SORRY! Think about it!

Q: i'm going to be seeing a guy that i haven't seen in a while. i don't plan on having sex with him just bcs i don't know him well enough but i was wondering if there's any creative or hot that i could comp with
FREE ADVICE: If you don't know him all that well then the furthest thing from your mind should be being intimate with him. A trick is to wear underwear with holes, tears, just BUTT UGLY so that you won't even be tempted. In the mean time, relax and let him treat you like a QUEEN and see if he's worth having you. A QUEEN!

Q: i am 13 and i recently (about 4 days ago) got a brown dishcharge on my underwear. when i wiped, there was only a little bit of pink on the toilet paper. i had that experience for 3 days now and the fourth day i went back to regular clear\white discharge with no colors on my underwear or toilet paper. i still wear pads just in case. but i am wondering if i am going to start my period soon or i just did?
Well dear.....it sounds like it may be starting. Your first period sometimes won't be like all the ones that follow. Your body is changing so with change comes all the other components of being a woman. Talk to your mother about it and tell her how your feeling. Everyone's body does something different. That's why woman are so hard to understand.

Q: My boyfriend broke my cherry today with only his fingers. How do i know that?? I had blood. I was wondering since that is now popped does it make it easier to have sex for the first time??
He must have the longest finger in the world. Why are you rushing anyway? If I guy thinks he can get LAID he will get LAID! But when he has respect for you then he will wait until both of you are mature and ready for a more intimate relationship. NOTICE: I didn't say SEX!

Q: Its this girl i met a month ago she said she had a real good time with me. She also told me when shes was around me everything was clearer. i told her she special to me and i really enjoy talking to her, she responded by saying the feelings mutual. When we talk our conversations usually last for an hour or more. But the problem is i haven't seen her sense the day we met, she blames her job should i leave her alone or keep pursuing her
The most patient people are successful! So in other words.....STOP! If you push to much then she will think you're desperate. Woman like men with confidence. Sit back and let her miss you like you're missing her. Don't even mention going out again and find something to do so that you won't appear to be sitting around waiting on her. Watch and see she will want to go out again!

Q: I am a simple 20 year old. I look like im in my late 20's and i have to ask, what are characteristics that women want in a man. I'm not talking about that confusing bullshit like charming, confident, gentle, strong, and all that crap. Everyone is different. I've traveled to 25 different countries and ive been alone since i was little. I've been to hell and back, and i just would like to find someone who isnt a heartless gold digger bitch, (pardon my french i mean no disrespect to anyone.) I'm culturally sound, I am wise and profound at times, I'm funny, im kind, and given we all have baggage so we all have problems no one is perfect. Why cant i find someone?
What do you look like? Woman like charming, caring, well rounded the list goes on and on but if she can't look at you then she will drop you and move on to the next guy. Make sure you look good. You have to work with what you've got. Find clothes that make you look and feel confident about yourself. Make sure you keep yourself well groomed, woman don't like guys that stink or don't take care of themselves. And you have to have confidence. If you don't even like you then nobody else will either. The main thing is if you don't like what you see in the mirror then makes adjustments so you will. Good luck!

Q: Hello; I have a 30 yr old daughter and 2 grandchildren (which are my world!) living in a home on my property, which I own. I pay all utilities and living expenses and have for years. My daughter is non-medicated, diagnosed bipolar, so she can be difficult at best. My issue is that both of her children suffer from asthma and alergies and the home is older, so for those reasons I feel it would be best if she only smoke outside. I have set up 2 patio areas, one in front and one in back, and she still smokes in the house. She has put her son in the middle and told him if he tells me he won't be able to see me, which broke his heart. He told me and I couldn't believe she would put him in the middle like that, but that's her. She also sees her estranged husband quite often and he is a prescription drug abuser. She was one too for years, and they both spent 30 days in rehab. She is still clean as far as I know. But, that situation also bothers me. What can I do short of making her move and losing the constant contact of the kids, whom depend on me immensely for even their day to day needs. Also, she cannot even hold a job, so I don't know where they'd go either. Thanks for reading! (This is taking a toll on my health too...stressss)
This is quite a sensitive matter since when it comes to our adult children we tend to not harden our hearts like we should. If you love your daughter you need to really sit down and talk to her. Woman to woman. Not a Mother to Daughter or a Friend to a Friend. This is a serious matter that you need to discuss with her so she can see exactly how you feel. CHILDREN are not a joke! Her children have to become a priority or she could lose them. Excusing her behavior because of her past isn't helping her. Until you get REAL with her she will continue to do what she wants to do. Simple as this SHE NEEDS TO ABIDE BY YOUR RULES or she will have to find another place to live. Lets see with FREE RENT, BABY SITTING, ETC.... Children should never be thrown in a situation but you have to think to yourself. SHE is truly controlling everyone's life right now! And she is out of control if she has issues that are beyond anything you can help her with! LOVE your grandchildren but you have to let their mother be a mother. Until then she will stress you to your DEATH bed. LET GO! Let her see what she has and make her grow up! Its time for her to find her place in the world!

Q: Ok so I this guy he's a year older than me and I've liked him over a year. I think about like everyday but the thing is we dont talk/text he switched schools last year so I rarely see him. But we had a small history we would talk hangout and text constAntly. I miss it so much. He was different for me then he is to other girls now. But I'm scared bc we never talk and I think I need to talk to him to get over him. But it could just make it more miserable.btw our "thing" fizzled out no reason why. AnywAys I like other people it's just he's on my mind. What can I do to get over him. And should I text him? Like for closure. Ugh I wish every night that he would text me I miss him and I can't get over it.
IF YOU TEXT HIM and he doesn't respond then you will be hurt! So why not just leave it be. If he hasn't contacted you then he's probably either has his mind on someone else or he's just to FOOLISH to realize what he had in you. Sometimes men (Young and Old) take to long to figure out what they want. So I would suggest you move on and if your path cross again just enjoy it! You are worth so much more!

Q: Want to do incest with my elder sister, NEHA........
One thing about being a sister is having a bond with someone that shares your values and truly cares about you. A sisters love is family love. Even though she is a young lady she is just that a young lady that you should respect. Family is so needed now more then ever because this world has made monsters come out in the day time.

If anyone were to ever hurt your sister apart of you would be hurt. Why hurt her? Why hurt your family? Why make life difficult for both of you?

Sister's trust our brothers. And a brother has to respect their sister. Respect her!

Q: 14/f
Right now, I feel like I am in some sort of down-spell and am feeling unwanted and excluded. I feel like I have friends at school, and my friends always talk to me and laugh at what I say. But recently, I realized (via facebook) that I haven't been included in their plans and that makes me feel really crappy. I was in this group of friends with guys and girls, but then two of them started going out and being really exclusive. Like for Halloween, they invited everyone (including me this time) to go trick or treating with them except for my ex-boyfriend (who we're all still friends with) and my friend. Apparenty, my friend's boyfriend doesn't like my ex. But I think it's mean to exclude him from a large group, and I told them that. And now I feel like crap because on my facebook news feed they all tagged each other in an inside joke from something tonight that I wasn't invited too... I don't know what I did wrong. I'm a nice person. I'm kinda mad at my friend and her boyfriend because they seem to be calling all the shots, and it doesn't seem fair. And it doesn't help that my mom keeps asking me why I'm not hanging out with them much. What can I do about this situation? I feel like everyone has more friends than me and I'm not wanted. And by the way I think facebook is a giant waste of time; the only reason I use it is because I feel like I will be left out or behind if I don't. Thank you for reading this, please give me any comments or advice you have. Adolescence sucks.
SO WHAT! You have to take that type of attitude when you deal with people that behave like they could care less. Are they your friends? Not really! The reason why young people tend to exclude people from different things is because they are not STRONG enough to be leaders. A LEADER doesn't follow behind everyone. A LEADER does just that LEAD. If someone is truly your friend you never have to get any validation. They make it known because they behave like they care. Don't change that about you because I can see that you are a LEADER! So LEAD! Ignore the stupid little jokes and fake plans they make on FACEBOOK! Do your own thing and stop making yourself upset over what THEY - the followers are doing. Walk to your own song and see who starts to follow who!

Q: 14/f
I am very annoyed with my mom right now because she is not letting me socialize with people I like. I'm a pretty normal person, but over the past year I have become good friends with this neat arty girl who looks very different from everyone else. She dyes her hair and dresses weirdly, but she is exceptionally nice and interesting and would never do anything bad or weird. She is completed anti-drugs, an I have told my mom thiis. My mom let's me hang out with her sometimes, but she invited me to sleep over the other night. I asked my mom, and she flipped out at me telling me that I should get friends that are more "mainstream" and that this girl is a weirdo and there's no way I can sleep there. You know, I would respect her using her authority to tell me I couldn't sleep over, but tw fact that she went on about normality and all of this superficial crap about her appearance (she's the sweetest girl, my mom knows this) made me really resent my mom. She then told me that I have to "stick with the tennis girls" (I was on my high school tennis team) who happen to be quite annoying, most of them, and just kept going on about how I needed to "get back in with them." I wanted to just say to her that she has no right to pick my friends for me and that they were MY friends, not hers. Her superficially bothers me so much! The ironic thing is I just wrote an essay for english on me overcoming that friend's differences and dismissing my reputation. Haha. Worked for me, but now my mom is holding me back. Also, my other friend who I met this year asked me if I wanted to hang out and my mom told me no, I had to find more mainstream friends. But she doesnt even know this girl! Ahhh! And then she started talking about how this girl was moving things too fast. Well, I've been talking to this girl three times a day eery day for the past two months, so I think I know her well enough. SHOULDN'T I BE ALLOWED TO PICK MY OWN STUPID FRIENDS?!?!?! I mean as long as they aren't dangerous. But in these cases, my mom isn't worried about danger. She's worried about my reputation, which I don't give a shit about. It's so annoying. I want to scream and cry. No one else has this issue.
MY RULES, MY HOUSE! I remember when my parents gave me the same type of speech and I of course pushed back with a similar response. Listen, you can't please everyone in your life right now. Friends, parents and the list goes on and on. One thing to remember is that you have to set your own trends at your own time. You are at a point that you are even using the word "WEIRD" when you refer to your friend. Is that right! YOU WROTE "She dyes her hair and dresses weirdly." At your age you should choose your friends wisely. Watch people, learn from people but keep them at arms length. Why? All that glitters is not gold. Chin up, you have years to go and you will meet a million people. But you will only make a few TRUE FRIENDS!

bio
hegibson
I enjoy every single day of my life. What you think you become.

Info
E-mail:
Gender:
Female

Location:
United States

Occupation:
Writer

Age:
41

ICQ:
AIM:
Member Since:
November 4, 2011

Answers:
41

Last Update:
November 17, 2011

Visitors:
4588

Main Categories:







layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker