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I have a question regarding my ex-boyfriend...we broke up in December of 2001 abruptly after a horrendous visit to meet his parents (it was all just bad timing) he broke up with me because he felt our disagreements during our visit made a bad impression, thus he broke up with me on the plane...it was all very quick. We had only a very passionate 7 months together mind you. Yet, we had this awkward year and half afterward of not being together yet still feeling so much and having a sexual relationship. I really stopped being close with him around April of 2003. I graduated that year and have since moved. He has been emailing me every so often wanting to know what is up with me and how my life is. He is the type to always have a motive in doing something...why is he bothering?! Yet, most of me is over him..I am curious..and still heart broken. Should I avoid anything really personal when emailing..I dont want him to hurt me again, yet sometimes I wonder about the possibility...I am 24 female he is 23.
Thanks (link)
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If you are really still heartbroken -- and you have every right to be, because it sounds like you've been through a lot -- then these emails are getting in the way of your healing. It's perfectly okay for you to tell him that you wish him well, but you're not ready for this kind of contact.
I totally get that you want to understand his motivation. My guess is that he's emailing you because he's lonely, and he's used to talking to you about stuff, and he wants to know what you're doing now -- beyond that, I couldn't say, but actually it's sort of beside the point. The point is, what kind of contact do YOU want from him? Do you just want him to give you some emotional space? Do you want a long-distance friendship? Do you want to get back together? (I could be wrong, but I don't think it's that last one. It sounds like you're having perfectly normal twinges of what-if about your ex, but that you realize that ultimately, he wasn't very good for you.)
Don't torture yourself by trying to figure out what's going on in his head. Figure out what's going on in yours, and do what you need to do to make yourself happy.
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someone mentioned about...hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
wut is that? (link)
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Sesquipedalophobia is the fear of long words. The first part is just tacked on at the front to make it funnier, probably.
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Well their is this boy that i really like and he also likes another girl. i think he likes her more though because at lunchtime he always sits next to her and he says that he likes her more. Meanwhile, their was this school dance and he asked ME to go with him and i said yes. We have been together for 3 months and this girl came along now! wow! Also, This other boy really wants to go out with me and he said he will do anything. But i think i still really like the other boy.What should i do? He also really likes me . we are having a trip and he wants to sit next to me on the bus meanwhile the boy i went to the dance with asked this new girl to sit nex to him.and if i say i like this new boy the boy i went to the dance with gets mad.what should i do? (link)
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Wait, so you're telling me that Boy #1, the guy who actually *says* that he likes another girl more than you, is going to get mad if you like another boy? Please. That's his problem, not yours, sweetie.
Give Boy #2 a chance. Don't lead him on if you don't really like him, but hang out with him on the bus and see what you think. He doesn't have to become your boyfriend or anything. But don't pin all your hopes on Boy #1, because it sounds like he's got other fish to fry now.
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my ex bf has a gf now. but he has recently agreed with my friend that i am beautiful (he didnt even say that when we were going out) and he ends emails with luv ya. and he sent me a lovesick smiley. i am sure he likes me but i dont wanna break up his gf and him. and his sister is gonna kill me if i go back out with him. she thinks im gonna cry over him. even though i havnt cried over him the last 2 times he broke up with me. but i still really really like him. i dont know what to do! what do u think? (link)
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Hey, are you the same one who wrote in a couple of weeks ago about your boyfriend "Gary" and his sister "Sierra"? The situation sounds kind of familiar. If you are, I hope you and Sierra worked things out okay.
Whether you're the same person or not, though, I have to say that this guy doesn't sound like he's going to come through for you. He may like you, and he may think you're beautiful -- but if he truly wanted to be *dating* you now, he would be. He wouldn't be out finding new girlfriends.
I'm glad you don't want to break up him and his new girlfriend, but the other reason that you really need to get over this guy is that you should find someone who cares enough about you to try to *keep* you. Not someone who pushes you away time after time. If you let him think that you're going to hang around waiting for him, then he'll never really respect and value you the way you deserve -- at best, you'll just keep repeating the get-together-break-up pattern over and over. Trust me, there are better options out there.
Of course you still really like him -- it takes a while to get over that. But you need to be strong, put a smile on your face, and let him go.
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hi, i am a female and i don't want 2 tell my age at the time i have 3 friends who r all in a fight and i am quite confused myself but they are sad and mad at the same time! chloe, jamie, and sarah are all angry and pouty and stuff they won't talk 2 any1 and they won't tell me wut is wrong sarah is really nice ,but she is very sad because of her dog dieing but idk if that is the prob. chloe is just mad at srah and jamie because they're really just ahhhhh.......... Jamie says there is some rumor that she killed sarah's dog which is so not true plz write bye! A.S.A.P. (link)
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What a mess! Unfortunately, if your friends won't even tell you what the problem is, there's really nothing you can do. Just let everyone know that you're there to listen if they need it. Other than that, your best bet is to stay well out of it -- you could just make things worse by interfering.
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my daughter is in love with this great guy he is in prison for something stupid he gave her a promise ring at christmas and all they got along great before he went away they were in seperatable all was in favour of a marriage or at least it looked that way problem is i heard thru his mom that he is thinking on breaking it off with her i have no idea why and it is driving me up the wall she has some idea that he is thinking and i told her that if someone else ask her out for a date go im highly upset by this because they have known each other for nine yrs and he could make her happy and she could make him happy what should i do besides kill him (link)
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Well, this is the first time I've ever come across a mother who actually *wants* her daughter to marry a guy who's in prison. But that may be beside the point.
I think it's wonderful that you're so concerned with your daughter's happiness, but it sounds like you may be a little too invested in this relationship. This is really between her and her boyfriend, and if either of them wants to break it off, you can't control their decision. It's just not up to you. You need to take a step back: you should support your daughter, and be there for her if she needs you, but you have to let things take their natural course.
I'm assuming that your daughter is an adult, by the way. If she's not, then I think it's a terrible idea for her to be committed to someone at this stage of her life anyway.
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I have a really good friend. She is head over heels for the guy of her dreams. She even now dates him. She is overbering in a caring way. She really likes him but while she was gone i found something out. He thinks that she is crazy and is going to break up with her. I know if he does, she will be devistated. Should i tell her of the impending doom. If i do she might hate me but if i dont she will lose the guy of her dreams. What can i say? (link)
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Even if you tell her, it probably won't stop him from breaking up with her, you know. If she finds out about it and confronts him, it'll probably just reinforce his feelings. Even if she doesn't confront him, it'll make the vibe between them really weird.
I don't think there's anything you can do to change the course of this relationship, unfortunately. Keep this info to yourself. (If she ever specifically comes to you for advice about what she might be doing wrong with her boyfriends, you can GENTLY sugggest that she might be less overbearing, but leave this guy out of it.) For now, just be a supportive friend, and be there for her when she's trying to get over the breakup.
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I want to loose some weight. Do any of you people have like a cure... well not a cure, like a thought of how I can maybe loose a few pounds?
PLEASE ANSWER A.S.A.P!!!!!!!
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Try to exercise at least twenty minutes a day, three times a week (do something that gets your heart rate up, like running, swimming, jumping rope, etc.).
Eight glasses of water a day.
Cut out junk food (especially greasy and/or sugary food), and eat enough healthy food, like fresh fruits and veggies. If you consume *too* few calories, your metabolism will slow down, and you won't lose weight as quickly.
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I work the light board for school plays, but I'd really like to try out for a part. I love acting, but my stuttering problem makes it difficult. How can I prevent speech impediments from becoming an obstacle? (link)
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I have heard of a number of professional actors (Marilyn Monroe, James Earl Jones, Bruce Willis, and Jimmy Stewart, just to name a few) who had stuttering problems and overcame them *through* acting. The idea is, if you know what you're going to say, and you practice enough to feel confident about communicating and projecting the meaning of the words, stuttering becomes less of an issue.
Try this. Find a monologue from a play that you really like, and read it over (in your head) a few times until you have a good idea what's going on and what the character is trying to express. Once you know it really well, try it out loud. You may stutter quite a lot at first. But if you keep practicing, you should be able to get through it okay, and as your confidence builds, it should get easier.
There's also a terrific book called Freeing the Natural Voice, by Kristin Linklater. I don't think she specifically addresses stuttering in it, but I think a lot of the exercises in it might be useful for you. If not, some work with a good speech therapist might really make a big difference. Break a leg! :)
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I like this boy but i am in 8th grade and he is in 6th grade is he to young to go out with? he is real nice and cute and he is soupose to be in 7th. i really want to go out w/ him but is he to young?
Female
age 14 going on 15 (link)
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He's not too young for you to go out on some fun, low-key dates with, assuming you think he's interesting enough that you enjoy spending time with him. He's almost certainly too young for any kind of serious or long-term relationship, but then you're pretty young for that too.
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I am 19 and i have a boyfriend. Im thinking of going on the pill. BUT I want to find out the side effects. Does anyone know of any? Ive tried searching on the net but I didnt really get anywhere. (link)
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You should absolutely talk to your doctor. The pill has a long list of *possible* side effects -- including weight gain, nausea, increase in breast size or breast tenderness, fatigue, depression, vaginal bleeding/spotting, decrease in libido, etc. etc. -- but most women don't experience many difficulties at all. Some don't notice a thing.
Also, side effects vary depending on the kind of pill you take. (The new low-dose contraceptives have comparatively few side effects, but only your doctor can say if they'd be right for you.)
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Hey I'm writing an article for the Manchester Enterprise, and I need help on how to convince my community that the teens need Laurel Creek Elementary for a safe haven to hang at. Can you please help me?
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Well, obviously no one here is likely to know much about the particulars of this situation (I don't even know which Manchester you're talking about!). But to write a convincing article, it might be helpful to discuss the following points (not necessarily in this order).
(1) Explain why the teens in your community need a "safe haven" at all. What are their daily lives like? What are the risks that they face?
(2) Explain why Laurel Creek Elementary, specifically, makes a good haven for them. What do the teens do there? Who are the staff, and what sort of resources do they provide? What do the kids think of it?
(3) What's the counterargument? Why do people think that LCE *isn't* needed? How might you refute their claims?
Go out and do some interviewing. Hang out at LCE for an afternoon or two, and try to talk to as many people as you can: get the teens to tell you what *they* think is important about the place, and talk to the people who work there and ask what they notice. Ask the town officials who are in charge of these programs for their opinions. You should also do some library research about afterschool programs for teens (what's been successful in other places?).
Remember, to be really convincing, make sure that you back up every point you make with evidence -- don't just make statements and expect your readers to believe you. (So for example, if you say that LCE is popular with teens, you could support that by first-hand quotations from the teens who go there and/or by attendance numbers that the staff gives you.)
Good luck!
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hi guys. i have this white gooey discharge stuff and i had it for maybe 1 to 2 years but now its getting kinda heavier. sometimes i have really bad cramps... but i know i dont have my period because i never had any blood down there. does this mean i am going to have my period soon?
oh and please answer the question if you know the answer because i really need to know!!!!!!!! (link)
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The discharge is 100% normal: most women have that a while before their periods ever start. The cramps certainly could be related to your period, but then again they might just be some other kind of cramps -- it's hard to say from here!
I think that your body *is* gearing up to menstruate, but there's just no way to predict when that will happen, I'm afraid.
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I'm doing a report on Anorexia and i would like to know what it is so could you please tell me what it is. Thank you so very much!! (link)
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Well, you put this question under the "Weight Loss" topic, so you obviously have at least some idea. The kind of in-depth information that you probably want for your report, though, you're unlikely to get here. Why don't you start by going to WebMD (www.webmd.com) and searching for "anorexia." They're a very reliable medical website.
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I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago, because things were getting to physical between us, and Im young, but besides that we were perfect for each other,and our parents even liked each other, I loved him and He loved me. We broke up, I got a new boyfriend and I broke up with him, and I still love my first X. I want to tell him, talk to him but I am so scared that he will blow me off, and I dont even know how I would tell him if I did. HELP ME!!! Oh, I forgot to tell you,Im 14 and a girl (link)
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You might as well try to talk to him. I mean, even if he blows you off, you'll be no worse off than you are now, and at least you will have gotten it off your chest.
Does he understand the reason you broke up in the first place? If not, you should definitely explain it to him -- I'm sure it would make him feel better to know it wasn't anything that was wrong with him. If he does understand, then ask him if he would like to try dating again, but within whatever physical boundaries you're comfortable with. It might be less scary for you if, instead of coming right out and saying that you still love him (which is an awfully strong statement for a 14-year-old), you just begin by telling him you've missed him very much.
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i have a boyfriend well two actually the first one i live with the second one is just a guy im trying to see if him and i can work or not there are things lacking with the one i live with so im not sure about the second one but he is pushing me and he promised he would not what should i do (link)
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The second guy has probably figured out that you aren't going to get out of a bad situation on your own, and is trying to get you to do so.
You're asking for trouble if you think you can make things work with another guy before settling things with your live-in boyfriend. Like, big, fireworks, earthquake trouble. If there's any way you can see yourself staying with Boyfriend #1, then drop the second guy and focus on fixing things with #1 for a while. If you believe that the "things lacking" with #1 are ultimately a deal-breaker for you, then it's time for you to get out. Then you'll be free to pursue something better.
Maybe you're worried that you'll break up with #1, but #2 won't work out either, and then you won't have anyone... I hope that's not it, because that kind of fear isn't a good reason to stay in a doomed relationship. It's much better to be independent for a while, and then find someone who really satisfies you. Staying with someone you don't truly love isn't fair to him, and it prevents you from having really great relationships that you can focus on with your whole heart and soul.
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My best friend is like getting really annoying to me, and sometimes i like her and sometimes i don't. I don't know if she should be my bestfriend anymore, cause she get's on my nerves, but I have said I don't want to be her best friend about like 4 times and I don't want to say it again. But she told me we have to secretly be best friends because she told some of my other friends that her mom said that she shouldn't have best friends. And my best friend told me she doesn't want our friends talking about her behing her back.. What should i do. answer please asap!! (link)
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Okay, so is there any reason at all that you *would* want to be best friends with her? It doesn't really sound like it.
Keep her as your friend if you want, but try and leave the "best" out of it. If she keeps insisting that she wants to be best friends, just tell her that she's *a* friend. But you don't need to work too hard to convince her: it doesn't really matter if she keeps insisting on it, because she can't make you be best friends if you don't want to be. Friendships can't be forced like that. Just hang out with whomever you want, and don't worry what she thinks. Eventually, she will get the message and back off. Definitely don't ever talk about her behind her back, though -- that's just mean.
She may ask you why you don't want to be best friends anymore: if she does, you have a couple of choices. You can, nicely, tell her the truth (explain why she's annoying you). This might be hurtful to her, but it might also give her the chance to change her behavior, and maybe repair the friendship. Or, you can just say, "Well, I like you a lot, but I also like So-and-so, and So-and-so, and So-and-so, and you're all important to me." It's totally up to you.
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Im not sure what to do? My best friend moved away and her dad doesnt let her come in contact with people who dont live near her anymore. We were so close we hung out and did everything all the time. And now that she cant contact me or i cant contact her, we've fallen apart. I've made a new best friend (of 2 years) and we're slowly fallin apart b/c we dont talk much, and she likes the same guy that i like, but i dont mind, what do i do, im afraid, i dont want to hurt my new best friend (2 years).. how do i talk to her anymore? (link)
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I'm a little confused which friend likes the same guy that you do, but if it doesn't bother you, I guess it doesn't matter that much.
I'm wondering exactly why her dad won't let her be in touch with people who don't live near her. That sounds kind of bizarre, to tell you the truth. (I mean, I would understand if he didn't want her making expensive long-distance calls every night, or spending all her time online, but *no* contact at all seems awfully harsh.) Is there some way you could talk to him, or have your parents talk to him, and see if he would consider letting up on that rule a little? Maybe you could call her once a week? Or send letters through regular mail? See if a compromise is possible here.
If your friend's dad is really determined that she shouldn't be in contact with you, I'm not sure what you should do. The only thing I can think of is that you could send a letter to your friend c/o her class at school, or c/o one of her new friends, and then her dad wouldn't see it. But I don't know if that's a really good plan, because I'd hate for her to get in big trouble with her dad if he ever found out.
It really shouldn't hurt your new best friend if you want to stay in touch with your old friend, so don't worry about that.
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is it posible to date two friends at a time?people said it is bad can i believe this? (link)
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Do you mean two friends of yours, or two people who are friends with each other?
If you just mean "is it okay to date two people at once," then yes, as long as you aren't serious about either one, and both of them know that they aren't the only person in your life. (I pretty much agree with everything Jade Greene said.)
If you mean "is it okay to date two people who are friends with each other," then I think it isn't necessarily WRONG (assuming you're following the guidelines above), but it generally isn't very smart. It will almost certainly cause trouble in their friendship, and you'll get caught in the middle, which is no fun at all.
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Is it wrong to make plans with one of your best friends and after all the trouble they went thur to ask there parents,they go and make plans with someone else. After you have been planing this since like Sunday. Or is it a signal that they dont wanna be your friend anymore? help
-Me (link)
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Have you talked to your friend about it? It doesn't necessarily mean that person doesn't want to be your friend anymore. Maybe your friend just forgot, or was confused about the date, or maybe signals got crossed somewhere and s/he wasn't sure your plans were happening. Or maybe the other thing was something really special that couldn't be rescheduled. (Generally, people should stick to the plans they make, but sometimes unusual circumstances come up. As long as they're considerate about it, you should cut them a little slack.) If they just ditch you, though, you should explain to them that it bothers you, and see what they say.
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