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Q: hi, i was just wondering, did you photoshop your dog in the picture? that is so cute!
Haha! Thank you! :) I didn't photoshop my dog into the picture. (I have a little shih tzu.) It was a web cam at my friends house and one of the options were to add little photos that they provided onto your picture. I just happened to like the dog. Haha!

-Shannon

Q: ok so all my life i have never been able to tell anyone anything without them telling someone else. and it hurts me. i mean, i can tell my dad stuff and..yeah. but there are some GIRL ISSUES (ex: sex urges, crushes, unexplainable vibes/ feelings...etc.) that you cant really tell your dad, you know? and i sometimes tell my friends and stuff but i regret it afterwards cause im so unsure if i can tell them anything or not. but anyways...

how can i trust anyone? like, when im dating someone and they say they love me, i dont believe them and i tell them to not say that. and i still really like this guy that went out with me for a while, and told me he would never break up with me and would always love me etc, etc. but he DID BREAK UP WITH ME. and it killed me!! like, almost literally. i attempted suicide. MOVING ON. after he broke up with me, i gave him a note saying how i seriously felt about him and that i was planning on having sex with him.

and he told me like 2 months ago that after he read that he regretted breaking up with me. like, he regretted breaking it off because HE THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LET HIM DO ME? and i asked him and he said no. but hes a real horndog..and so yeah. and now hes flirting with me and calling me sexy but he has a g/f. and idk if thats cause he wants it or seriously wants me back. but if he told me his answer i wouldnt believe him.

i dont believe anyone and i dont trust anyone. like, i mean, what should i do?
You know, I really have to say that I am very similar to you in this subject. With previous boyfriends I would always be the last to say "I love you". I feel that those words are overused way to much and don't symbolize the meaning enough. People don't THINK before they say those words. How do you really know if they mean it?

I'm guessing the primary reason why you don't trust people is because too many people fucked you over. When you look back at those people who hurt you, it really does add up. These are the people who swear that they are going to offer you something but they never follow through or they betray you for something "better".

This is not something that you can just get rid of. But you can improve on your thoughts. If you're anything like I am, we tend to really think deeply and over analyze people. We care so much about them that when they do something to hurt us we take it personally. And then usually I get that feeling like "Why should I trust YOU when someone else already screwed me over? What makes you any different than the others?"

This is the kind of attitude that needs to stop. People are different and not everyone's intentions are the same. It's so easy to look back and dwell on what happened to us but that was in the fast. To be balanced we need to move on and look forward. People are going to screw you over no matter what. What's important is how we handle it. Try and be more open-minded towards others. I have actually met some really decent people who all have unique qualities but that's what makes me like them.

Give each person two chances. I think that's fair. Keep in mind these two chances are only for petty things. Example: telling someone a small secret when you told them not to. If the case is that your boyfriend cheated on you with another girl, don't give him a chance. I'm sure you're smart enough to figure out what counts for another chance. Make sure people know what you expect from them and if they break those expectations then they are done. "I forgive but I never forget" - go by that. :)

Hope this helps. It will take time. This might be a part of your personality and that can be very hard to change.

Hey, trusting people easily is not a good thing either. But being balanced is!

-Shannon

Q: If you are under the age of 18, let's say 17, are you allowed to fly with an adult that's not your parent, let's say your friend who is 20? As long as your parents have consent and all?
Yes, that is fine. You are going to need your identification and travel document though. Having these items will allow you to board on your flight.

This link may be helpful for you! :)
http://www.rotterdam-airport.nl/en/Homepage/Inchecken/Kinderen

-Shannon

Q: I am scared to death right now. I like this guy in my class, but everyone else hates him. I really want to ask him to a dance we're having Friday, but I'm afraid my reputation will sink lower, and its already pretty low! I NEED HELP!!!!!!!
This question kind of disappoints me.

What truly matters is what you think of this guy, no one else. How much of their input on him matters to you? Think about this: People are definitely going to judge you without knowing you. They're going to tell others their personal opinions of you. You don't want the other people to side with them instead of actually getting to know you, right? Instead of judging him only by what others say why don't you get to know the kid? Sure, you may be a bit nervous of what others will think of it, but you know what? To hell with them! Maybe people will actually respect you for having the courage to talk to who you want to without caring what others have to say about it.

I'm not sure if you ever saw the movie Legally Blonde but I would like to point out an example from it. In Legally Blonde, Elle Woods have a guy in her Havard University law class who the popular, attractive girls didn't want anything to do with. After the two girls rejected the guy, Elle approached him praising him for a good time the previous night. Did she care about the two girls who rejected him? No.

Overall, you shouldn't let others interfere with what you want to do. Make your own decisions, don't let others make them for you. If you're going to follow what everyone else does you might as well have no unique qualities. Do I think you should go for it? Absolutely. Come on, you're smarter than they are! And if he turns out to be a creeper or something at least YOU know from experience and not because someone else said that's what he was.

-Shannon

Q: I have had my hair highlighted blonde 2 times before.MY friend recnetly did it for me and it turned out fine but i wanted it slightly lighter. SO last night i decided to die it again and its come out ginger!! i really dont no what to do my parents say im paranoid but im really not its pretty bad! its turned a carrot orangy colour, it looks so cheap. parents said you'll have to learn from that mistake and let it grow out my hair is shoulder lengh. I asked if i could buy a colour removing kit but they wouldnt let me as it damages your hair badly, but anything it better than this!! i really dont no what to do im not aloud to die it anymore either!! i use to be known as the girl whch lushious hair but im dredding going back so school.. sad i know.. please help!! its making me depressed!!
I have been through hair dye hell! I'm originally a dark brunette and when I was back in highschool I let someone dye my hair blonde. It came out BRIGHT orange and stayed that way until it faded. Last year I let a professional change my hair blonde and it came out really nice.

I'd like to share with you some advice I got from my professional. The reason why your hair turned out to be a darker color is because your hair was porous from the highlights and bleaching. This absorbs the colors, making it darker than normal. You will need to buy a clarifying shampoo which will get rid of olders colors and access build up. This will fade the color. And trust me... it will fade!

You will only be damaging your hair more if you were to dye it now. Give it at least three weeks. Harsh, yes. But you really want to keep your hair healthy.

-Shannon


Q: i want to get highlights and layers in my hair really bad.

i just dont know if it will look right and im scared it wont come out rightt.



this is my hair now:

http://a349.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/1/l_da5066fd7a85db5be7652d58f6cac274.jpg

http://a415.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/97/l_50fb578d4d320f58602e4bdaf4ba5d2e.jpg

this is what i want to gettt:

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g8/kaffy_43/SCENE%20HAIR/LONGER%20THAN%20SHOULDER/53.jpg


do you think it'll look right?
Your hair is absolutely gorgeous! :)

I think you would definitely be able to pull that off.

It is a going to be a bit dramatic because you have such dark hair. Maybe I would go a shade or two lighter than the blonde for your highlights. And then gradually get lighter. I actually was a blondie for awhile. My natural hair color is dark brown and I had to go to a medium blonde first. Once a month I got my hair dyed lighter and lighter and the color changed to a nice light golden blonde

BUT if you want to do it just like it is on the picture that would work to. Make sure you can have someone who knows what they're doing or a professional do your highlights. Sometimes going light over dark does not work especially if you attempt it by yourself. I know from experience! Oh, and layers would be good too! They'll give it more edge and frame your face a little bit. Plus it will also add volume.


It's scary going lighter but it's hair. It grows back and you can always dye it again. :)
-Shannon

Q: well there is this one guy i'm starting to like. just call him joe. okay so joe dated one of my x-friends, shes mad at me for something that happened a long time ago, but anywaysss... he likes me and everything and i like him too. but i heard from some people that he is "odd" and "a player" he told me that if we dated he wouldnt talk to any other girls but his best friends cause i said i still wanted to talk to him. oh yeah, hes 16 and im 14. :]
what should i dooo, give it a try.?
[ he doesnt seem like a player to me ]

kaythanks.
It all comes down to you. You are the one who is going to be dating this kid not your friends or these "people". While I agree that it's definitely important to listen to other people you also need to put your own opinions first. Just listen and nod your head but don't go to deep into what they say. There's a saying " Don't listen to what others say" and this is one of those situations where it's best to do that.

Casual communication and hanging out are key in finding out about a person on your own terms. Pay close attention to what he likes and what he doesn't. Listen to what he says. Example: If he makes fun of a kid on TV for being overweight you could associate him with having a sense of humor or he is kind of a jerk. These will help you form your opinions.

And so what if you start dating and he's odd and a player? You took a chance, you've attempted something but it just didn't work out. Take that experience and learn from it. Life works that way. You learn from your mistakes. Oh, and it's wise to not get attached to easily. Start out slow and gradual. :)

-Shannon

Q: im going to italy in february and i want to know what the weather is like. Should I pack warm clothes?
It's always good to pack a few warm clothes whereever you go because weather is unpredictable anywhere.

I looked up what the weather in Italy is like in February and it's very cold. You're going to need to bring lots of clothes to keep you warm. Cute clothes that you can layer! It's always a good idea to layer just in case weather changes.

This site may be helpful for you. Click which part of Italy you're going to and it will list daily forcast, and graphs.
http://www.wordtravels.com/Travelguide/Countries/Italy/Climate/

Have a great time in Italy!

Q: theres this song that i keep hearing but i have no idea what it called i think it goes like this:

she hit the floor
(she hit the floor)
she bang it low
(she bang it low)
low low low low low

thats the chorus
if you could help me and tell me what the song is i would be ecstatic thankss:)
What you're thinking of is Low by Flo Rider ft. T-Pain. Good song! =)

Q: how can i get over and forget about an old crush who i have no feelings for but i think about him and fantacize that we're dating. please help because i really want to know how to get over him, forget about him and move on because i think i stil have feelings for him and i want to get rid of them
Aw, honey, I'm sorry!

I definitely realize how difficult it is to forget about someone and I still have a hard time once in awhile.

The main thing that helps me getting over a crush is knowing your independence. Some people may say "find a new guy right away" but I found that does more harm than good. It's important to realize that females are more self sufficent and independent in comparison to most guys. If I break up with a boyfriend I usually go through a short phase where I focus mostly on me.

You need to start over completely. Throw every message, gifts, cards, anything that was from him. I know he was only a crush, but still! Secondly, ask yourself what made you change you mind about him. If you point out certain flaws about him that you don't like it helps remind you of how smart you were. For example: If he's not paying attention to you in class then that might mean that when you're in a relationship he would ignore you around his friends. You see? If you like him and he doesn't like you it will never work out. Relationships work with two people, not one. "Things happen for a reason". Maybe you two weren't right for each other.

Use the experience as a way to make you stronger. Consistiently telling yourself that you don't need to waste your time on him will help you out. And if you come across this problem again, you'll know what to do. Just like with any bad experience, the people that get ahead are the ones who remember them to make them a stronger person.

Your friends are always there for you. Go out with them and tell them what's going on. It's always nice to go out to lunch and talk to your friends. They're always there to listen to you and help you out. If you prefer to not talk about him you can just go out and have fun. Keep yourself entertained!

Keep yourself busy by focusing on a hobbie you like or maybe you want accomplish a goal. Nows the time to do it! Not only will you keep yourself occupied you'll also feel great after you achieve what you wanted.

Those are some ways to try and get over a guy. It's tough and it takes a lot of time to get over someone. Eventually you'll learn you're better off with out him!

Good luck!

Q: I'm fifteeen and a girl [:
me and this guy were going out for about a two years. we broke up in march of 07. ive been talking to him lately through texting and aim. everytime i talk to him i get the same feeling i used to when we were going out and he makes me feel alive. i know that sounds corny, but its amazing how much of a little girl i become around him. i can say stupid things no one else would get and we can practically predict what one other is gonna say. i honestly dont think me and him are done. i know one day we will get back together, and hopefully soon. theres a dance comming up at my school in febuary and I'm thinking about asking him. I dont hangout with him alot. more like i never hangout with him, and when i do it's pretty awkward. neither of us know what to say to eachother in person and i obvouisly want that to change. I think asking him to the dance would give us a chance to become not awkward around eachother and maybe give us another chance. Should i go for it or play it safe? any other suggestions? thankss! [:
Without knowing the reason you two broke up in the first place, I'm assuming he's a good guy. If the reason for breaking up was severe, like he was cheating on you, I wouldn't give it a second chance. But because you didn't mention it I would definitely ask him to the dance.

You seem like you are ready to try and work things out between you and him. The qualities and characters that he brings out in you are good. I think that your intention of getting back together is a good idea. Initially you've done it right. By giving yourself a break for months you've realized that this guy was the best you had. If he makes you that happy, you deserve to try this out again. The only problem is finding out how he feels about you and what he thinks of getting back together.

I wouldn't come right out and say it because you might scare him off. It's like telling a boyfriend you love him within two days. Start of slow. Continue to make small talk and gradually work your way up. Conversation is key in building up relationships in any cause. At some point you could say something along the lines of what you miss. Perhaps it's the way he protected you or the way he comforted you. Or you could bring up a funny memory when you were going out with him. And then invite him to that dance! This way you're not coming straight out and saying "Let's get back together". He should get the message sooner or later.

When you do get back together I would make sure to have boundaries. You don't want to rush into things. Make sure he's aware of what you want to be different in this relationship that was in the last. And if he has some input make sure you listen!

Good luck!

Q: Hi my bestfriend smokes all the time, and sometimes drinks I think, well use to, but she smokes almost everyday, and probably 5 or more a day, and she's done it for a while.
I'm so scared for her, cause I know she's gonna have health problems in the future..but do you think something might happen soon since she smokes so much and so many a day..she's only 14. and I want to tell someone but I think her grandparents let her! and when she's with her mom, she sneaks when shes with her.

What do you think I should do?
Thanks to anyone who helps.
I think that the best thing you could do for her is talk to her about it. But you also need to realize that she's just going to do whatever she wants. You make the decision to smoke and it's such a hard habbit to break.

Talk to her about your concern.

Here are some points I would bring up:

1. Because she's only 14 years old it will be hard for her to purchase cigarettes. You can only purchase them at 18.

2. Ask her why she started smoking. Ususally it's because people use smoking as a way to cope. Let her know that she can always come to you with her problems and you'll be there to listen to her.

3. Money is an issue. Does she have a job to pay for cigarettes?

4. Health issues. Give some examples of people who died from lung cancer. You want to try an scare her. As cruel as that may sound, it will help her to make that decision to stop smoking.

I honestly think that she'll be okay. A lot of people do smoke early. It's obvious that smoking isn't good for you. But if you can get her to stop now that would be great. She may not stop but it's all up to her.

Q: why are some people making a big deal about tomorrow.... whats tomorrow?
In America, 4/20 is national smoker's day! Many people will be baked tomorrow because they're going to be smoking marijuana. All stoners love this day and they're definitely going to be celebrating it. lol

Q: um what happens if you eat the red shell the cheese is in, in those littly baby bel cheeses? i havent done it before.. but the shell if kinda soft so im wondering if you can eat it.. and what it tastes like. or is it like.. some soft plastic??
The red shell is actually wax. If you were to eat this, it probably would not have any taste except a waxy base. You are not supposed to eat this, it just helps protect the flavor and freshness of the cheese. I would just throw it out and not eat it. :)

Q: What are some good eyeshadow brands?
I want the color to show up and not have so much glitter in it. I always have glitter all over my face even when I barely use any shadow.

And do you have any pictures of wearing it?
My favorite brand of makeup is MAC.

I love their eyeshadow because it lasts for a very long time, you can combine colors, and it blends very nicely. MAC eyeshadows have various colors, so you can choose any without having to worry about glitter problems.

MAC eyeshadows generally cost about 14 dollars, but I truly think it is worth it. :)

http://www.maccosmetics.com

Q: I'm dying my hair again and I don't want to look wierd or any thing but I have Baby blue eyes a kind of pail (not white just pail) skin tone and I'm thinkin of dying it Blonde I could use help!
oh and my names Massie could you picture a blonde gurl named Massie?
What color hair do you currently have, and what is your natural hair color? If it's brown or red, that may be a bit dramatic, so if you're gonna go blonde, do it right.

I definitely recommend getting a professional to do it. You may need to bleach your hair if it's really dark. I tried going blonde once, and I did the boxes from the store, it turned orange! Don't try to do it yourself if you don't have a ton of experience in that field. But with your skin and your eyes, you could probably pull it off.

It honestly doesn't matter what your name is. Anyone could be a blonde regardless of their name.

Q: okay, so normally i forget to take my eyeliner/ mascara off my eyes when i go to sleep. so i just go over it in the morning if im not showering.


is this bad? is it dangerous to my eyes??

thanks!
I definitely would try and prevent this from becoming a habit. Every once in awhile, you could get lucky. But sleeping with mascara and eyeliner could lead to eye infections, cysts, and irritation may occur. Bacteria is a major cause of eye infections, and sometimes it can be exposed from the time you open your mascara. You're best bet would be to always remove eye makeup with makeup remover before bed. If you're in a rush, use plain water and a cleanser.

Q: My friend Nick broke a vase at my house party, that I held very dear, and he absolutely refuses to pay for it. Should I continue to be his friend, or should I stop?
All right. Have you tried to tell him how much thr vase meant to you? If not, you should. If you already told him this, than I would assume he would pay for the vase. But since he doesn't want to, I'd talk to him once more explaining that if you had done something like that to him, you'd pay for it because it was your fault. Maybe the vase isn't more than your friendship with him. But it was important to you and he needs to recognize that, a friend SHOULD recognize that. I'm not going to tell you that you can't be his friend anymore but I suggest becominga bit distant and maybe he'll have a better realization of what he needs to do.

Q: Okay so I lived somewhere for 6 months. I knew that it wasn't gonna be permanent. But I thought that it would be a kool new experience. I didnt think I would make any really good friend. But then again I never actually thought about when I was leaving. Well I lived there and i made the most awesome friends and my life has been pretty tough,but everything was goin perfect. Well I left and that hurt me. Then like not even a month later my friend commeted me on myspace and was liek I have some bad news to tell you. Well I didnt think it was nothin major so i call her and shes like you know alex right ? and it took me a couple min to understand who she was talking about. when i finally remembered him she told me that he had hung himself. I was in shock for like ever. and cry ALL the time at random moments. but i barely knew him. we had jus become friends b4 i left NJ.. but now i feel like everythings messed up. i cant stand it when ppl talk about suisicde and i dont have anyone ther to help me through. because all my friends in NJ,this is their first time its happeneind. please help me find a way to help me get over this. because i have family problems with my mother and i dont know what to do anymore. my dad is great and does as much as he can for me but i still feel lonely and i dont want to tell him that,it would break his heart
please help!!
I'd like to comment you on how sorry I am for you and your friends and your family. I'd also like to tell you that no matter what I say to you right now, I can not exactly relate to the pain that you must be going through but I realize how hard this must have been to type. And I'm going to try to do my best.

When people that you don't know very well or who aren't as close to you as you'd like them to be die, the reaction is pure shock. And I think in this case, you're so upset because you were on good terms with that person and you really feel like you deserved more time with him, and you're not quite sure why he died now.

I know you don't know what the hell was going through his head to make him kill himself. Main reasons are depression, but I can't tell you if that is the reason behind his action. There was nothing you could do to prevent it because it was his choice. He was lucky to have met you in his life and I'm sure you feel the same about him. Maybe you're so upset because you feel as if you both have unfinished buisness. Maybe you wanted to get to know him better and become good friends. Or maybe it's because you felt you could've helped him and you didn't get that chance.

No matter what your reason is, you're going to feel bad for awhile. His memory will never be erased from you, and you'll be struggling to cope with this for awhile. It doesn't matter how well of a friend you were or how much you know about him, you still knew him and he will always be a part of your past. It's not your fault that this happened and things wouldn't have changed any if you were still there.

To ease your mind a little, find an activity that you can put emotion into. It can be writing, drawing, speaking. Whatever your preference is. Write all your thoughts on paper if you want. Exercise, take up a new class.

Listen, if you managed to go through family troubles, and move to different areas, you're already very strong. You just don't know it right now. You're going to find it hard to stay balanced but it will get better as time goes on.

And remember, just because your friends are in NJ and your not, it doesn't mean that you don't have anyone to talk to. Talk to them because they'll be able to relate to you. You can all get through this together. I hope you'll be all right, and if you need someone to talk to I'll be here as well.


Q: his name is adam and he's one of my best friends--and i love him. i've known pretty much all along he never had those feelings for me back, but six months ago i told him how i felt for him. it was a little awkward at first, but we got over it and managed to keep our friendship. i told him i didn't ever want him to hesitate when telling me anything, especially about his love life or whatever. now, five months later, i'm not so sure i want to hear it anymore. last night he told me he liked our best friend, lauren. we're all mutual best friends and that's what makes it so hard. he told me he wanted me to tell him what i thought of it and if i was okay with it. i think i was so shocked and hurt at first i didn't realize it was true, so i said i supported it and i didn't want him to hold back. i thought that's what being a good friend was all about. i want to see him happy, but i don't know how she feels nor does she even know he likes her. but i still feel caught in the middle--i mean he told me he would try to forget her if it meant things between the three of us would get weird.
i love him so much, and i have for a year and a half. he means the world to me and the last thing i want to do is hurt him, or be the reason he's unhappy. but i know it would kill me inside to see him with anyone else. do i suck it up for their sake like i had originally planned, or do i be brutally, selfishly honest and tell him i don't want him to go after her?
You kind of sound like the type of person who puts people before yourself. So it might be hard for you to tell him straight up what you're feeling. I'm exactly the same way.

When you tell someone that you want them to come to you and tell you everything, many people take that sincerely. And since you really don't want to hear about his love life anymore, it's probably hurting you more than helping him. It's obvious that you're not over him yet and there still is attraction towards him. He's probably not on the same terms as you are because he likes Lauren.

I don't think that I would suck it up, or be brutally honest. I would combine the two suggestions you posted together. It would probably mean a lot to him that he can tell you things and you'll listen to him. So you might want to be discreet. If you bring up "You know I was kind of thinking about you and Lauren, and if you truly want to be with her and she wants to be with you, I guess that would be okay. But I'd miss not seeing you as much. You might want to think about this a little more before you go for it". Or something like that. Basically, if you can kind of hint that you have mixed emotions about it, he may rethink it.

I can definitely relate to this whole post. Sometimes they don't realize how much you mean to them until later on. I understand that you really want him right now, and it would tear you apart to see him with Lauren. But you've been supporting his decisions, and going back on your word might not be the best thing to do right now. If it's meant to be than it will work out eventually. But it wouldn't work unless he liked you as much as you like him.

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abstract_profanity
I'm back! 6 years on this site and counting! Let yourself be known for something. It may not be perfect but imperfections are so much more interesting and fun!

I'm well known from my high interest in people. I thrive off helping others.

A lot of people say they have been through a lot. And well, this is true for almost everyone, including me. Rather than let past harm me I embrace what I've dealt with and use it to my advantage in the future.

I'm 20. Turning 21 soon enough. Been there, done that but cetainly have much more to learn. No, I do not know everything and I wouldn't claim. I do know that I am dedicated, educated, generous, motivated, and ambitious. I give all my time and heart into each answer.

I specialize in art, education, communication, psychology, massage therapy, health, travel and destinations.

I know information regarding school, college, abuse, neglect, personalities, relationships, friendships, little bit of info on cars, licit and illicit behaviors and or subjects. But I will be willing to answer anything!


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