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trust issues
ok so all my life i have never been able to tell anyone anything without them telling someone else. and it hurts me. i mean, i can tell my dad stuff and..yeah. but there are some GIRL ISSUES (ex: sex urges, crushes, unexplainable vibes/ feelings...etc.) that you cant really tell your dad, you know? and i sometimes tell my friends and stuff but i regret it afterwards cause im so unsure if i can tell them anything or not. but anyways...
how can i trust anyone? like, when im dating someone and they say they love me, i dont believe them and i tell them to not say that. and i still really like this guy that went out with me for a while, and told me he would never break up with me and would always love me etc, etc. but he DID BREAK UP WITH ME. and it killed me!! like, almost literally. i attempted suicide. MOVING ON. after he broke up with me, i gave him a note saying how i seriously felt about him and that i was planning on having sex with him.
and he told me like 2 months ago that after he read that he regretted breaking up with me. like, he regretted breaking it off because HE THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LET HIM DO ME? and i asked him and he said no. but hes a real horndog..and so yeah. and now hes flirting with me and calling me sexy but he has a g/f. and idk if thats cause he wants it or seriously wants me back. but if he told me his answer i wouldnt believe him.
i dont believe anyone and i dont trust anyone. like, i mean, what should i do?
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trust is a hard thing. you never want to feel vulnerable and hurt. it seems to me, that your ex boyfriend is only flirting with you because you told him you were considering have sex with him. and you said it yourself that he is very horny, so what does that say? that he is willing to date you again, but this time for sex. and clearly he didn't love you, he is with another girl now. so.
and i don't think this guy is good for you, sure he might make you feel loved and good about yourself when he calls you sexy- but it isn't worth trying to kill yourself over him hurting you, now is it?
it's your decision though. good luck and godbless.
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You know, I really have to say that I am very similar to you in this subject. With previous boyfriends I would always be the last to say "I love you". I feel that those words are overused way to much and don't symbolize the meaning enough. People don't THINK before they say those words. How do you really know if they mean it?
I'm guessing the primary reason why you don't trust people is because too many people fucked you over. When you look back at those people who hurt you, it really does add up. These are the people who swear that they are going to offer you something but they never follow through or they betray you for something "better".
This is not something that you can just get rid of. But you can improve on your thoughts. If you're anything like I am, we tend to really think deeply and over analyze people. We care so much about them that when they do something to hurt us we take it personally. And then usually I get that feeling like "Why should I trust YOU when someone else already screwed me over? What makes you any different than the others?"
This is the kind of attitude that needs to stop. People are different and not everyone's intentions are the same. It's so easy to look back and dwell on what happened to us but that was in the fast. To be balanced we need to move on and look forward. People are going to screw you over no matter what. What's important is how we handle it. Try and be more open-minded towards others. I have actually met some really decent people who all have unique qualities but that's what makes me like them.
Give each person two chances. I think that's fair. Keep in mind these two chances are only for petty things. Example: telling someone a small secret when you told them not to. If the case is that your boyfriend cheated on you with another girl, don't give him a chance. I'm sure you're smart enough to figure out what counts for another chance. Make sure people know what you expect from them and if they break those expectations then they are done. "I forgive but I never forget" - go by that. :)
Hope this helps. It will take time. This might be a part of your personality and that can be very hard to change.
Hey, trusting people easily is not a good thing either. But being balanced is!
-Shannon
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