_fLyAwAYy_'s advice column

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Q: Okay, first let me say I'm going to be 17 in a week.
I've been friends with this one girl for the majority of both our lives. We used to go trick or treating every year, and she's going to want to go again this year, whereas I feel I'm too old, and I don't want to go. I know I need to tell her I don't want to go and not just make excuses, but something in me doesn't think she'll understand that I just don't want to walk around in a costume, yelling "TRICK OR TREAT" for candy.
I mean, I LOVE sugar. Seriously, I do - but I'm sick of trick or treating. How do I tell her I don't want to do this without hurting her feelings? 'Cause I know it's gonna bother her. Our friendship is sort of dwindling...sucks, but true. She's 17 too, by the way. Thanks in advance for the help.

i think that ur friend will understand if u lay it out in the right way. first of all, excuses will lead u no where. they'll only make ur friend mor angry wen u tell her the truth. u shud tell her that u feel that ur too old to do it with her. maybe then she'll agree and feel stupid for wanting to do it and go with u. suggest sitting at home and watching scary movies while eating popcorn. or maybe throw/ go 2 a party with her. u can wear costumes then! hopefully she'll understand :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: i jus moved to another skool and ive been there for like three weeks and everyone seems nice...but thats not the problem...all of my friends from my old skool seem to always seemed to b pissed at me!!it kinda seems like there happy that i moved! i tryed to talk to them and they all r sayin that ive changed big time scence i moved...i dont think i did!i really want to keep my friends but they seem to not wanna keep me ...HELP!!!
i rate good!

i think that its ur friends problem if they don't wanna hang out wit u only cuz u moved. if they think that sumthin as trivial as moving iz cause to be mean then maybe they weren't such good friends after all. or maybe (i always hav 2 give another side lol) they trying 2 put u out ov their mind cuz they r upset that ur gone. maybe its just their way of copeing. well, in my opinion, they're yesterday's news. concentrate on ur new skool and makin new friends who treat u rite!
)}i{( stefy

Q: hey i just found out that my ex boyfriend has a new gf. they've been going out for a few weeks now i guess. no one told me until the other day. everyone knows how much he meant to me and ever since he dumped me ive been feeling sad. i dont know if i want him back anymore b/c he lied to me and told me we could go out again in second marking period and that he just wanted to be single and thats it for awile. i know that him and this girl wont last long. all of my friends have totally different advice on what to do in this situation. what do i do? please anyone who has any advice IM me anytime on miZZcHeRRyCoKe36 ~13 fm tepy~ thanx so much!

if this guy lied to u, maybe he's not such a good catch. i no u can't shake the feeling of sadness away, but if he lied to u and then got 2gether wit another gurl, then maybe he's not worth it. or to take another side (to give ur ex the benifit of the doubt) maybe he just rilli needed sum tym away frum u to get his head bak 2gether. maybe he got 2gether w/ this girl cuz he wusn't sure if u'd take him bak after he dumped u and he wus tired ov being alone. maybe he wus just tryin 2 try this girl out to c if she wus meaningless and he still liked u (even tho that sounds totally cruel). well, i hope answers come to u soon!
)}i{( stefy

Q: im 14 and my b/f's 15. He's a really sweet guy and always tells me that hes going to wait for me for when i want to lose my virginity and hes a virgin too. ive known him like my whole life and he is the sweetest guy ever and he is so nice and would never do anything to hurt anyone. all weve done is make out but everytime i come over or he comes over his older sister and older brother and older cousin will ask what we did and he just says nothing and theyre like well damn have you guys at least made out??? and they tease him sometimes n just be like oo all you guys do is make out??? and all that stuff and so lately i think its been bothering him. i know im young and all but i feel like, "pressured" to have sex with him and like i want to in a way so they stop teasing him, and i also feel that theyre gunna think im some prude kind of person and i dont want them to think that of me, i want them to like me and not talk about us. i dont really know how this is a question but i need some kind of advice, like what i should do and if i should have sex with him or not.

i think that sex is a big decision which comes with a lot of responisbility and conswequence. its not sumthin u shud do just cuz sum1 iz pressuring u to do it. u shud find out wut ur bf iz thinking. u need to find out if he's feeling pressure or not. if u don't hav communication then there mite be a confusion w/ signals and then end up doing sumthin u'll regret cuz u think the other person wants to. (if u no wut i mean) i hope that u chose the smartest choice and not do sumthin that will ruin ur life :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: Does anyone know any cool hairstyles? I have blonde hair, a little past my shoulders. Thanks!

put ur hair up in a bun, ponytail or pig tails. or u cud try and crimp it or curl it. if u want volume, use volumizing conditioner/shampoo and be sure to flip ur head over wen blow drying ur hair. go online also for tips or buy sum magazines. a lot o v magazines hav tips 4 hair in almost evry issue! ;)
)}i{( stefy

Q: i want abs badly i want a major six pack wut is a quick way to get some i dont care wut it takes i just want to see some change wut excercises can be done for abs???

well, there is rilli no way to get abs quicky...i'm sry 2 say. go 2 ur local gym 2 work out and also do a lot of sports. i do dance and i have a nice stomach cuz i work out and do stretches for strength/flexibility. do a lil work out evry day and u shud see some improvements! :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: I'm 15 and female and I've never kissed a guy. I go to an all-girls Catholic high school, and I haven't kept up with ANY of my very few guy friends from when I went to co-ed schools.

*reads question, cringes at own stupidity*

So . . . how can I meet new people? I have a lot of really great friends, but it would be nice to meet some new people, and possibly get a boyfriend.

Any ideas?

i think that u shud do things lyk hanging out at the mall, or going to a club or join a youth group...i happen 2 be catholic even tho i go 2 regular skool. doing things that involve a lot ov ppl give u a high chance of meeting sum1! xox
)}i{( stefy

Q: I got my first kiss wednesday and I want to be able to tell my mom and I want to be able to talk to her about things like that and I don't know what to do. Like what can i do so that my moms and mines relationship is stronger? and so i can tell her and talk to her about things like this.

spend some time with ur mom. i no that ppl think that mom "bonding time" is lame, but it rilli works if u wanna hav a stronger relationship wit ur mom! it is also sumtyms fun. if u show an interest in spending tym wit ur mom den i'm sure dat she'll take an even greater interest in u. then tlk about ur kiss and anythin else that u wanna tell her about. i'm sure thins will work out great, and u'll find a new best friend (ur mom)! :D
)}i{( stefy

Q: Okay..well i really like this one guy. online he says he really likes me and he would probably go out with me. a long time ago online..he was talkin to me and he said he only goes out with gurls he REALLY likes and i think it was the next day, he asked a girl out and they have been going out for a while. that got me kind of mad cuz he said he likes me and only goes out with pple he likes a lot and it takes a long time for him to like someone. well anyways him and his gf.. it seems like they are never apart. i think they really like each other..but he kinda flirts with me while hes going out with her..hes nice and when i call him hes always like whats up? and hes nice to me and at school he looks at me a lot and like hits me as a joke when he walks by and stuff...and idk if he really likes me. he could just be lying or kidding..but i really like him a lot. and idk what to do. him and his gf have been going out for like 4 months i think.. idk im confused and i really like him..idk if he really likes me tho. Sorry so Long!! any help would be appreciated :) thanks.. 13/f

well, if he's going out wit sum1 he's sorta off limits. tlk 2 him a lot and see wut kinda vibes ur getting frum him. but there's rilli noting u cud do cuz u can't start seeing him while he's dating sum1. u cud always try the direct approach and just ASK him if he lyks u...but remember he is seeing someone else so maybe dats not da best choice! keep ur eyes out 4 other guys and don't put all ur money on him. but if he ever gets open again then u can make ur move!
gud luck!
)}i{( stefy

Q: -does he like me or does he like herr???
---is it me or is it her...or am i really her?
(sry i know this is long)

ok ..im 14/f and one of my best friends is 14/m..he doesnt go to my school...although lives in the district and i seem him here and there...hes been askin me how to ask a girl out..and i kept telling him to be himself..he just wont listen to me on that part advice...and he kepts telling me to put myself in that position..and i said "no" then he said "well its not hard 4 u ur a girl" and i said "its hard 4 us as well..bc we have to turn down guys we dont like"..and i dk how to tell just to be himself..bc he wont listen to that...and he a few days ago he asked me "how do i ask a girl out and not get turned down??"..and im like idk its not something predictable...and he goes to a private school..and i go to public school..so i have no clue who this girl is..if i did ..i would have asked her if she liked him..but i dk ....so im pointless at this point...-thx

P.S. also...i asked him last night on-line what this girls name is and he said "marissa" and i asked him way be4 that.."what would you say if i said i liked you" and he said "i dunno" and said well what would your 1st response be if i said i did and he said "u do?" and i said oooo..then he said something or w/e and i said you scare me sometimes and he didnt say anything for 2 mins and i said..."do you care that you do sometimes" and he said "yea"..and i said "how much?" and he said "______________________________________________________________________________"
and i said "ooohh"..and when we got into an little argument over what is harder being a girl or being a guy...and he said we have it easier..and when i said "no we dont bc we have to turn down guys who ask us out, i had to do it 5 times" and he said "w/ whoooo?"..like if he was affaird i was taken or something..ahh it drives me insane..-thx again

well, if he duz lyk this marissa person and he's givin u signals that he lyks u too, well then thats just weird. 4 the bit about him lykin marissa keep tellin him that gurls like guys who r honest and tell them how they truly feel and are not fake-just themselves. if he duzn't believe u say "i shud no, cuz i'm a girl". just keep tellin him dat, maybe get a few ov ur friends 2 tell him da same thing 2 get him 2 fell mor secure. about him giving u mixed signals that he lyks u or not, just ask him straight forward cuz he confuzed u. and if he dodges the question then don't sweat it, but keep an eye on him and bring up those kinds of questions subtly. and about the fiting about bein harder 2 b a gurl or a guy, don't give into it and tell him dat its immature and maybe dat will make him not wanna tlk about it anymor...i hope u work thins out wit him!! xox :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: hi ist ashley i have a problem u already know about lets just say its about "apple pie" or the "blue monkey" anyway things have been getting worse because the BM is like useing me because now BM never talks to me and BM once told me i was treating her like a backup friend and now thats how i feel!

hey ashley...yea the blue monkey iz kinda annoying (i shud no) anyway just put sum distance between u 2 cuz its only gonna get worse if u keep hangin out wit her. thats how it wus 4 mi. and she's such a hipocrite cuz she uses alot ov ppl as "bakup friends" too. lyk wen i stopped hangin out wit her, dats y she went wit u (no offense). so i hope ur problem clears up soon and i will tlk 2 u about it l8er!!
)}i{( stefy
P.S. For evry1 who iz confuzed about how i no this person, ashley, she goes 2 my skool and the blue monkey iz an annoying person :P

Q: ok well theres this guy i have been liking for a while, lets call him b*. well he started talking to me like 3 weeks ago and we've been cool ever since. he's been giving me hugs, saying hi to me around school n stuff. he's always asking me for gum lol cause im the "gum lady." he seems to be a real sweetheart. well this last week, we were partners in class and he was like touching all up on me and he told me he likes me n stuff. he was asking me all these questions and just being very "friendly." he asked me if i like him and i said yes, and he seemed very happy about that. he gave me his number and told me to call him, so i did and it didn't seem like he wanted to talk to me. and now around school he doesn't give me hugs anymore.. when i talk to him it seems like he doesn't care or whatever. i went to the homecoming football game and i talked to him and he just like didn't listen to anything i said and he was a real jerk to the guy friend that i brought. do you think he still likes me, and why might he be acting all weird?

thanks
xoxo

well, guys say that girls are emotional. but the truth is that a lot of guys have weird mood swings that they think they're too tuff to show. (no offense dudes!!) well, it seems that this guy does like u if he said dat he lyked u, but maybe he has pressure from friends or he's shy cuz he duzn't no how 2 act around u anymor now dat ur mor than just "friends". tlk 2 him and ask him wut his deal iz...that shud give u sum mor answers. read his eyes to tell u if he's lying about thins or not...it works!

Q: i can't believe my friend. i told her i had a crush on this dude and then when she i caught her flirting with him! later in the week he asked her out and she said yes. i can't believe her nerve >:O wut shoudl i do

well, some ppl in this world can be very cruel sumtyms. but maybe there iz a diff reason y she's messin wit ur guy. maybe she likes him and iz afraid dat u'll get him first or she's envious of u cuz u take all the good guys. just confront her and figure out wut her deal iz. once u get dat info u cud maybe find a way 2 work thins out between u guys. gud luk :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: hi, sry if u think this iz annoying (cuz so many ppl hav this problem) erm, my parents r gettin a divorce. i'm really sad cause i will miss havin them both unda the same roof 2gether. but at the same tym i'm glad dat the constant fiting will b over. i wish there wus some way i could get them bak 2gether to be happy. wut do u think i shud do?

first off i dun't tink its annoyin at all :) its a rilli serious prob dat a lotta ppl gotta go thru and it sux. well i dun't think there iz anything U can do 2 get dem bak 2gether. its rilli ur parents choice to wanna b 2gether r not. all u can do iz maybe hav dem tlk about they're differences 2gether and hope maybe they'll work thins out. wut u can do 2 cope iz concentrate on other thins lyk skool and friends 2 take ur mind off ov dem. i'm rilli sry dat u must go thru dis! xox
)}i{( stefy

Q: hi, i'm in a long distance relationship with a guy cuz he moved away and i rilli do like him a lot...but there's this guy at my skool who is rilli cute and funny and nice and i think i'm startin 2 hav a crush on him...should i keep my relationship with the guy who lives here or with the one who's far away?

well hunni ur in a tuf position. it all comes down to u...the guy who lives by u maybe much easier to hav a relationship wit cuz he's rite by u. but da ques iz do u lyk him mor dan da guy who moved? hang around da guy who lives by u and c if he's into u da way ur into him...den make ur choice :)
)}i{( stefy

bio

heYy yALl, mah name iz stephanie .:stefy or stef 4 short:. umm, i luv 2 give advice and i'm pretti good at it, so ask mi any ques u want! I luv to dance! .:hip hop n jazz:., sing, act .:plays:., horsebak ride!!.:english or western but i like english betta:., sports .:soccer, tennis, volleyball, swimming, etc:. and hang out wit mah friends .:u guys noe who u r!!:. so i hope dat gives u a lil info on mi! xox :)
})i{( stefy