My name is Vassalisa, I am a 26 year old woman, originally from St. Louis, MO, USA but I have been living in England for 4 years. I would love to answer any questions I can (and maybe get some answers too!) and will try to be honest and helpful!
I am into all sorts of music, I love history and I read Dear Abby religiously so would adore trying to walk in her shoes!
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Member Since: May 28, 2005
Answers: 34
Last Update: July 5, 2005
Visitors: 3109
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im a 21 year old male and my girlfriend is 19 and 8 months pregnant.She's thinks i dont find her attractive anymore because it seems like ive lost my sex drive!!what should i do?? (link)
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Your girlfriend is going through some massive changes in her body. You should literally do everything you can to make her feel good! And if it seems like you arent getting through to her, be patient! Her hormones are going off the wall!
Handle with care!
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Ok, so here's the situation. I've never been in a relationship or had any boyfriends and all the bells and whistles that come along with them. I really like this one guy who I know is really wrong for me, and I know he doesn't like me. I know that he can barely stand to be around me, actually. I won't go into detail as to why. The thing is, I can't stop liking him or thinking about him, and I think that also might be effecting my other relationships and keeping things from progressing into dating or anything with guys that might potentially like me. How do I possibly get over the guy whom we shall call Shamrock? How can I possibly allow others in and get to know me for who I am and have them see that I would be a great person to date?
Signed,
Lonely and Waiting (link)
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Do you think one of the reasons you cant stop liking him is because you know he dislikes you so much? It's painful to be rejected like that and maybe now you feel like you need to be liked by him in order for you to be likeable, period.
I would try to move on. Dont see him or speak to him. Put him out of your head as much as possible, it will be tough but every day it will get a little easier. And make yourself more available for other guys! It wont take long before you are swept off your feet by someone else and you will remember Shamrock as the silly one who didnt see a good thing.
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Does anyone know how i can get a social worker in the uk? (link)
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There will be a phone number for Social Services in the front of the phone book, or you can get it from Directory Enquiries. Explain to them the situation and they will arrange for someone to make a home visit.
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I recently started dating a guy with a very very close family. I am 22, he is 24, and still living with his parents while he saves up to buy a house. The problem is that I'm starting to see signs of his parents making too many decisions for his life.
First of all, he is christian, and quite religious. Me and him have made the decision to wait to have sex, at least for now. I think this is a personal decision that is between me and him.
He stays at my house sometimes, and has already slept in the same bed at me while staying at my mothers house, at my house, and at my sisters house. There is not a problem with this because we are both adults, and are very capable of making out own decisions.
But, recently he told me that he doesn't think he should stay at my house anymore because his parents are already getting suspicious. He has already told him that we're not having sex, but, apparently, they don't believe him, and are trying to stop anything from happening.
Another thing is that I'm planning a trip to Florida, and he really wants to go. He is allowed two weeks vacation from work, and would only need one week. The problem is that he works for his father. I would not see a problem if his father told him "I don't think I can give you the time off, because I need your help here" But, instead, he said "I don't think you should go because you need to save your money"
This guy is 24 and is capable of making his own decisions on where he sleeps at night and what he spends his own money on.
I'm wondering how I could make this clear to him, that it bothers me, without making it uncomfortable. I do not want to make things uncomfortable for me and his parents, him and his paretns, or me and him. Any advice would be much appreciated. (link)
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I don't think you are over-reacting. It seems like you and your boyfriend are on slightly different wavelengths. If he was not sleeping with you or not going to Florida with you because HE didnt want to - it would be easier for you to deal with that. But at 24, he should be more separated from his parents. It is true that as long as he is living at home he should respect their wishes, but they seem to be taking it a bit far and he seems too easily swayed by them. How much longer is it until he can move out? If that is a very real goal in the near future, hope it changes when he is a free man.
In the meantime, you are perfectly within your rights to tell him in a gentle and kind way how you feel. One thing to bear in mind is how well he listens to your feelings, especially if this is a long term relationship. You dont want to have to always struggle for your voice to be heard over his parents.
I hope it works out well for you and you can have a nice trip to Florida with him!
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What's a good way to tone down your hips so they don't stick out as much? I don't have a big frame, it's just my hips are a bit on the bigger side. (link)
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You cant do much about your hips I'm afraid, but why would you want to anyway? Nice curvy hips are hot & guys love them! They dont want to be with girls who look like boys!
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I'm moving to a new school, in a different state this summer. The teacher who had most influence on me, was my chorus teacher. Would it be gay to get him a thank you card, and tell him how great of a teacher he was? (link)
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I think that would be really nice!! You regret the nice things you DON'T do, not the nice things you DO do!
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people out of no where have been calling my like fat whore and all this other stuff...and it really really hurts...im not a whore..and i am a little fat but compared to people in our school im an ok size...and all this just came out of no where...how can i make it stop...and please dont tell me to ignore it or it doesnt matter what people say..cause it does matter what people say and think and theres no possible way to ignore it (link)
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Extra: Thanks for the feedback. It sounds like you are pretty stuck. The best advice I can give you now is to try to make sure you seem really casual, like you dont care about them or what they say. Even make jokes about it or something. Try to let them see you're having fun. That way, if they start to see it isnt getting to you, they will lose interest. People like that dont normally have a problem finding other people to pick on.
You're right it does matter what people say, because it hurts. But as you cant force anyone to stop doing something, you have to try to deal with it yourself. Can you avoid being around the people who are calling you these names? Do you have any mutual friends who could talk to them and explain how painful it is for you? You dont say where this is happening... school?? Because if that's the case you can report it to someone as bullying.
I hope it stops soon!
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ok well here it goes:
I want to open my own bar ( u know be the owner of it ) well i dont really know how to, do i have to go to college? about how much will it cost, how do i even start doing it? how do i order the drinks and that, where would i get it from? how would paying my bills work? you know stuff like that, how buisness run and how to start them stuff like that.
Any advice would be great! (link)
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Why dont you get a job working in someone else's bar so you can see how its done, while you take some business & catering courses at a local college. You usually need some experience like that to get a business loan.
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I've had a boyfriend for like 4 months. He's my first. He's really shy and so am I. Since both our parents are really strict I can only see him at school. I really want to kiss him on the lips but I'm too shy and I never seem to have the right time to. Please note that Im thirteen 1/2. My eight grade year has been great. Middle school is almost over, and I wanna have my first kiss, now. How can we both get over being shy when we see each other? (link)
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What do you do together when you hang out? Can you go out to do something fun with a group of friends? That way your parents would approve but you can break the ice a little with your boyfriend. It's hard trying to get over shyness when you are at school. What you want is a bit of intimacy but you're in a pretty public place! Would your Mom & Dad be alright about your boyfriend hanging out at your house? Maybe if they got to know him they would let you spend a little time alone.
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ok...i think im really shy around gus and stuff...everyone tells me im really pretty and no guys like me. so whats a way to get a guys attention?
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A BAD way to get a guys attention is to make yourself seem TOO available or desperate. Not only does that make guys think you arent worth working for, but with the really bad ones, they may take advantage of the fact that they can sense you are lonely.
I think most guys like girls who are reasonably confident and who make them feel good. I'm sure you're a friendly person, and everyone responds well to warmth. Other than that, you can obviously do everything you can to enhance your appearance, but it sounds like that isnt a problem! Try cultivating some interests that are a little off the beaten path. It will give you some good conversation starters!
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Hey well i have a problem....over the times i really didnt care how i looked but now i start seeing really skinny girls and well i kinda think i'm fat i dont know why i never really care how i looked but now its like all of a sudden im not happy with how i look.. so......how can i loose 28lbs in like 2 weeks?if its not possible then tell me how long it would take to loose those lbs(pounds) and what should i do to loose them???? any advice??? PLEEZ HELP I RATE MOSTLY 5's (link)
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I cant tell you how to lose that much weight that quickly because I dont think it is possible unless you are really sick. But I wanted to lose weight a while ago and I did Weight Watchers. I found the diet was really easy to work with, and more than anything else just gave me healthier eating habits. You should see if there is a meeting local to you, or visit their website. If you eat lots of fruit and vegetables, and exercise 3 or 4 times a week, you could safely lose 2-5 lbs a week. Another bonus of Weight Watchers is that you meet other people who have the same goal.
Good luck!
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Ok, i know this sounds wierd, but what exactly is an orgasm. I hear people talking about it, and how great it is, but i have no idea. Please don't be mean, i just have no idea. (link)
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An orgasm is when you feel a shattering sort of sexual pleasure from some sort of stimulation - It is usually easier for guys to have them but for girls, if you know what you like, and you are with a man, or woman, who is interested in pleasing you, then you are lucky because you can have one right after another. Whereas with guys, its one, and then a long rest!
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I went out with this guy named Chris.We were talking and relized that we were not going to see each other this summer. Since i was going to be gone for most of the summer. So i said to him that we could be friends. But i also think about him all the time. Waiting for him to get online. I think i still like him and i think that he still likes me. But i don't know if i should give it another try or let it go. And just be friends with him? Please help me. My e-mail is mandabear1321@aol.com or mandabear1321@ yahoo.com. (link)
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If you really feel you want to be romantically involved with Chris, you should go for it! However, if you are unsure then staying friends will keep the door open for the future. Have you asked him how he feels about your 'just friends' arrangement? Maybe his answer would give you a clue as to what you should do.
Good luck!
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Im a teenager and I have scoliosis and Im under the impression that exercise will help. If someone out there has information about phyisical therapy for scoliosis please take a minuet to answer my question. thanks! (link)
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My husband has scoliosis and he has found doing Tai Chi to be very helpful. He used to suffer a lot of lower back pain and discovered that movements and breathing exercises kept him feeling limber and made the pain virtually disappear. He also believes golf has helped, the twisting action of swinging.
Do you swim? I enjoy swimming and although I dont have scoliosis I do get a lot of general back pain that swimming helps.
Hope this is of some help to you!
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