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January 24, 2005Answers:
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February 8, 2008Visitors:
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Cath
about
I've had a lot of different types of experiences in my life. I'm here to help any way that I can. Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions you might have. I think it's important for people to know they can rely on each other for help and support. I want to be that person for you.
advice
theres this really cool guy that likes me and i like him, but the problem is that a lot of popular girls like him and i feel kinda like not good enuff for him. what should i do to convince myself that he likes me and not them and i'm good enuff? i rate u a 5
Dear Definately Good Enough,
So you like a guy who's already got a train of girls liking him? Wow, he must be a looker huh? So go for it! Im sure youre just as pretty and nice as the rest of those girls.
Here's some homework: Make a list.. about 10-15 reasons.. you think you are spectacular and why he should go out with you. Talk to your friends and family who know you best. They know your fantastic and I think deep down you know it too.
So really you dont need any convincing at all. If you want this boy, Go get him! As the great Madonna once said "You'll never get what you want unless you say what you want". So say it and go get it!!
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
well...okay...i just got a comment from you on my site....and you told me tat you give good advice...and well lets face it...i really am not the type of person who goes to their parents when they want advice....so here i go....this prolly sounds really stupid....but my cousin is my age 15 and her parents have been fighting for the last year..and just a couple of months ago (about 6) her dad moved out of the house. thinking that if they had time seperated things would work out....well things didnt...they got worse....and now her parents are getting a divorce...and she has 2 younger siblings tat she will have to take care of now...cause her mom will have to work a whole lot more...and i dont know how to help her b/c my cuz is over 6 1/2 hours away!!...yea we e-mail..n stuff...but i dont have any advice for her....except to pray... could you help me plz??!!
Dear Writer,
Divorce is a scary reality. So many people are getting divorced everyday that it leaves one to wonder how children of today are coping with the distruction of their families. It saddens me to even think about it but its something all too common these days.
I think it's fantastic of you to want to help your cousin in her familys time of need. Im sure knowing that she has you to depend on brings her much comfort.
Im sorry to say, but I have no magical answer for you. Since you both are so young and too far apart to physically be there for one another there isnt a whole lot you can physically do for her.
But I know now during these hard times she will need someone to talk to. She'll need someone to comfort her when she feels like she has no control over anything that's going on in her family right now.
Tell her that difficult situations always make people stronger. Tell her she'll now grow closer to her siblings then she ever thought imaginable. Tell her things will get easier, this is the truth. Things may seem bleak now but she still has her siblings and no one can ever take them from her.
If at all possible, perhaps during long weekends or on holidays, try and spend time with her. Help her take care of her siblings or help get a baby sitter so you two can go out and have some fun together. Even though she has all of these new responsiblies she must not forget she is still a teen. Make sure she has fun every now and then. Make sure she stays happy.
You are a wonderful person for wanting to help your cousin. She is very lucky to have you. I wish you two the best of luck. Keep your heads up and never forget to have fun.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
P.S. Please leave me feedback so I may better advise others.
Well me and my best freind have been freinds since 7th grade and i feel like we are like sisters..well now she wants me to start takin drugs and says if i was her bf i would do it but i dont know what to do
Dear Just say No,
Hun, if your best was really your friend at all she would never pressure you into taking drugs. Friends dont do that. Real friends never pressure you into doing anything you dont want to do.
Nothing positive can ever come out of doing drugs. Drugs make you a weaker person, kill your brain cells, and ruin your future. Not only will your REAL friends and family be dissapointed in you.. but so will you.
My Advice? Get a new bud who respects you and your body. If she wants to hurt you, like she knows drugs will, then obviously she's not your friend.
Just say no. Your worth too much.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
P.S. Please Rate.
my friend told me she was raped by some guy at a party a few years back. i told her she should report it to the police but all she remembers was that he was black and tall (about the african-americain male population). and since it happen so long ago why say anything? no, she told me. and a few weeks ago she showed me that she cutting herself and stealing razors from some store. i feel like these are the kinda things you dont keep a secert about. what should i do?
Dear Friend,
It's so terrible when I hear stories of girls who never report they've been raped. If you never tell anyone, as you can obviously see by your friend, the terrible feelings of being taken advantage of fester inside your heart until you cant take it anymore. Your bud may think nothing can be done about what's happened to her but she's wrong. Any information about her story can save someone else from becoming a victim too.
Your friend is hurting inside. Probably more than anyone can imagine. If you really care about this girl you need to seek adult advice. I know she's not ready to tell someone what's bothering her but as her friend it's your job to help keep her safe. Tell someone you trust. It doesnt have to be her parents or your parents. Tell a counseler. Tell an older family friend. Tell someone. Tell anyone.
Your friend needs help and she needs help now. Obviously your a good person. You care very much about your bud. So do the right thing. Tell someone who can help you both.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
I am part of a group of 5 with my best friend who i have known longer than everyone else. My best friend has been really attached to me and i feel like she doesn't want me to be friends with anyone but her. when i told her how i felt she started screaming at me and denyed it. Also, i never get any alone time with my boyfriend because she is always there and when i told her if i could talk to him alone she was like sure i'll walk behind you... but i wanted her to like be 100 feet away from us because he acts so much more romantic when she isn't around. How can i tell her how i feel without her screaming at me again? I want to have other friends besides her because every one i am friends with, she is friends with too... what do i do?
i rate high... sry this is kinda long
Dear Static Cling,
So you want to get peace from your clingy best bud? Obviously telling her to leave you alone for a bit isnt working.. so why not just leave? Take a break from this overbearing relationship for awhile. Dont tell her where your going or what your doing. Dont answer the phone for awhile. If she wont give you your space then take it! Dont let anyone deny you your personal space. Your rents already keep tabs on your life. You dont need your best doing it too!
Your bud needs to learn to have a life of her own. She needs hobbies and friends other than you. She could also put that clingy-ness to use and get herself a boyfriend.
So take a break. Go on holiday from your bud. Tell her if she doesnt lay off then you're going to perminatly put her off.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
P.S. Be sure and rate!
I know this sounds stupid but here it goes..THere is this guy at our school that FLIRTS with all the girls, but he flirts with me the most and all the girls say so to. I really like him too. He always plays footsie ne and like he always drinks out the same cup as me and then he is like oh sorry but I can tell he does it on perpose and he tries to hold my hand. THe only thing is we are not going out, and this has been going on for about 2 months and I just cant stand it why wont he as kme plz type back
Dear Footsie Player,
So you've got the hots for a flirtatious cutie? Just how and how much does this boy flirt with other girls? Has he had many, or any girl friends at all?
Sorry to say, but he may just be a player. This boy may just like the thrill of the chase. Many boys are like this, as Im sure you already know. He just doesnt sound like the committing type.
Besides, imagine if you were to see this boy on a romantic level. Do you think you could ever completely trust him around other females? Considering he is already a flirtatious beast, do you really think he's going to stay faithful to you and not continue his natural way? Take what you already know about him and imagine your relationship. Doesnt look too bright does it?
Take my advice, seek a boy who only has eyes for you. Eyes that wonder never stop wondering.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
lately my bf has been making lots of new friends that are girls, from all his classes and stuff. its been worrying me. we've talked about it and stuff, and he says he only likes them as friends, but he hangs out with them so much, and talks to them all so much. they r great girls, reallllllly pretty, and i can see how and why he would like them. i just get so worried, and i dont know how 2 be a better girlfriend to show him how much he means to me. im really worried that he could start to like these girls! what should i do? thanks
Dear Slightly Jealous,
A relationship is nothing if you dont have trust. If you are jealous of your boyfriends female friends then obviously theres something wrong. Has he cheated on you before? Has he given you any reason for you to be suspicious of him? Odds are he hasnt.
Now I have to ask. Do you have male friends? Is he jealous of them? Put yourself in his shoes.
Its very healthy for him to want and have female friends. If you think about it.. it's actually very beneficial for your relationship. He can learn things from these girls to better understand and care for you.
Im sure youre a very lovely girl. Never let anyone intimidate you into thinking you are not good enough for your boyfriend. Keep your head up and the green eyed monster at bay.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
Ok,
I never know how I should respond to the "V" question when trying to get with a girl. If I say my truthful and say no, they are like "awww, that's sweet" And pretty much never hear from them again, but I don't want to lie and have it kick me latering down the line. What should I do in this situation?
Dear V boy,
Be proud of your virginity! Being a virgin is something that most people arent anymore. Be proud to be different. Just think, you have something a lot of other people dont. You have something you can give to someone you are totally head over heels for.
Trust me hun, as a chica myself.. I think it is fantastic that you are still a virgin. Being a virgin means your clean and respectable. It means youre not some loser guy who goes around and has sex with everyone you meet.
Be proud of who you are. Any girl would be greatful to have someone like you. And in some bizzare twist of fate that you cant find someone to who likes you for who you are, hit me up. I'll take a clean, wholesome boy anyday.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
Alright, 4 months ago my boyfriend dumped me because he had some issues of his own to work out. In those 4 months I developed a crush on his younger brother, who is my age (15). My ex is 17. I asked his brother out and he said no cuz he can't date until he's 16, which is in a year. I know that the brother has feelings for me (his sister told me). Now, my ex-boyfriend has feelings for me, but I like his brother more than him right now. And one of my friends has a crush on him. What do I do? I have some feelings for my ex, but they aren't as strong as the ones for his brother.
Dear Family-Friendly,
Stay away!!! Get out of that family before something goes horribly wrong. Trust me hun, you dont want to start drama between two brothers. There can only be two outcomes.. Either they'll gang up against you or they'll fight each other with you being the reason.
Believe me when I tell you, you do not want to start drama in someone elses family. You could end up having the entire family against you. Beware you are treading on territory you should not be on.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
I really like this guy named Corey and i think about him allll the time and the other day i smiled at him and he didnt smile back and that just like broke my heart...what should i do?
Dear Smiley,
Smile again! Maybe he was having a bad day. No one in their right mind can resist a smile!
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
I feel my best friend and I are growing apart. I really hate this happening. Today she signed up for a different sport than me. I didn't care that much about the sport she didn't sign up for, but when I asked if she was still doing field hockey she said yes but then our other two friends said no so she cahnged her mind. And she always talks about these two girls I hate but she's friends with. I mean it's not that she's friends with them but my other friends who are friends with them understand I don't care for them that much so they leave those two out of the conversation. But my BEST friend doesn't. I just want to know what to do. Can anyone help? Thnks.
Dear Losing,
First let me say Im so sorry you and your best arent as close as you used to be. But you must realize that people do grow apart. It's inevitable. As people grow older they change. Keep this in mind. You and your friends, as hard as you may try, probably will not be friends forever.
Instead if wishing you could keep your friend with you, why not be happy that's she's made new friends. I know you may not like the new people she is hanging out with, but it is really not your place to judge. Simply be a true friend and be happy for her.
In turn, make some new friends of your own. Take this time to try new things and meet new people. Be thankful you and your best had your time together. Life cannot stand still forever. Be happy and move on.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
Hey...ok i like this guy in 10th grade sooo much and he is my neighbor...and i dont know if he likes me should i ask him myself?? and do you think it would be weird for neiogbors?? ir eally need help someone! please!!! and i dont know what to ask him and stuff i wana no so bad and i dono if he has a gf!!
PLEASE
love
rach
Dear Rach,
I dont think I would be too weird for the two of you to start a romantic relationship with each other because you are both neighbors. I mean it's not as if you both live out side of your houses and see eachother every second of every day. lol
Actually, I think it might be nicer for you two considering you are so close. There would be no reason you wouldnt be able to hang out with eachother whenever you felt the need. And Im sure it'd cost your mom and dad tons less on your phone bill. lol
I think you should ask him out. But I have to ask.. Have you ever spoken to him before? Are you two friends? If not.. you should start there. Then be casual when asking him out. Ask him if he'd like to go places with you.. the bf gf thing will fall into place as you two spend more and more time together.
Best of Luck,
She screams.
about a month ago, i asked how to tell my best guy friend of 7 years Fredo that his evil blood-sucking cant-wait-till-the-full-moon vampiress of a girlfriend Lupitalili was going to dump him. the advice was great and it all went well, but now i have a new dilemma: i just recently realized that i have the HUGEST crush on him! what he hell do i do? this is a different kind of crush because we're really good friends...JUST really good friends (who by the way established that with each other and everyone else a couple of years ago). if i tell him, he wont totally freak out like maybe other guys, but things will defenitly be different, and i cant risk our friendship. telling other guys i like them is one thing, BUT THERE'S A TRUE FRIENDSHIP AT STAKE! I cant just hide my feelings for him either, because, like i said, this crush is just...different somehow. what do i do? there's also a whole bunch of girls who are like in love with him.i always thought of him as a brother who i couldnt love anymore even if he really was MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD. having a crush on him changed a lot of things going on in my mind and will change a lot more on everyone else's. what do i do?
Dear Crush,
Aaww crushes are great arent they? But are you crushing temporarily or is this something serious? Because youre right there is a true friendship at stake. You dont want to make a move on a crush that will just fade away when the next boy comes along. Keep this in mind.
Also, if you find that this is something real.. a true feeling you have for him.. then do it. Tell him. It's best you let it out then never know what could have happened between you two. It's better to know even if you do end up being rejected in the end.
But let me stress... be sure of your feelings. You are absolutely right, whether he feels the same about you or not.. you will be seriously changing this friendship if you announce your feelings to him. Be careful.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
A few days ago i spent the night @ my friends house and she has a bro so he always has friends over too! and my friends mom said that my friend (13/f) is not aloud to have friends over when her bro does cuz were getting older and everything, and my parents feel the same way! the thing is that i like going over there when her bro has friends over cuz it's fun and stuff! HELP! i rate high!
Dear Writer,
Maybe the rents dont think you all will be mature enough to hang out with the boys and still be able to keep it together.
Try telling them that you are mature and you understand that you have to have boundaries when it comes to the opposite sex. Tell them that you have no intention at all of causing trouble for them with the boys.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
I'm 14-years-old so I'm not looking for my life partner or anything. Well, my friends and even some people I don't know call me shallow because I only go out with guys I think are hott. And it's true but only to a certain point. Yes, I do look at looks first but doesn't everyone? I look at looks and if I think they're attractive then I'll talk to them and such. But I'll only date them if they have a great personality to go along with their looks. Personality can also make a guy hott to me so even if I'd initially think they were ugly but they had a confident, amazing personality I'd think they were hott. And like I said before, it's not like I'm looking for they guy I want to marry right now; I'm just having fun and meeting different guys. Does the way I see that make me shallow? Or is the way I pick the guys I want to go out with wrong?
Dear Shallow,
NO WAY! There is nothing wrong with only wanting to be with someone you find attractive. And your young so why not surf the waters a bit. Even though I think it's fine for you to date only people you find attractive I also do think it IS wrong for you to turn someone away simply based on looks.
You cant always look as beautiful as you are inside. Keep this in mind. Also understand that beauty can build with time. You may find a person not as beautiful when you first meet him/her but if you care about them.. all of a sudden they become the most beautiful person you've ever met. If you turn away people you dont find attractive at first glance you may very well be turning away your prince charming.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
I want a girlfriend... I dont neccesarily NEED one, but it'd be nice to have one. BUT i dont have a lot of time on my hands during the day... I'm very confident that I could easily get a girlfriend at the moment, but i dont know if i should go through with it cuz i dont have a lot of time on my hands. Should i go for it or just forget about it and hope the opportunity is still available later?
Dear Busy,
Just how busy are you? Im sure if you had someone you honestly cared about you'd be able to make time in your busy schedule to be with her. You could do things on the weekends and hang out at school. A girlfriend is just an extension of a friend.. you dont have to be with them 24/7. Just be around when they need you.
Besides, Im sure she's pretty busy herself so I have no doubt she'll be okay with you having other obligations in your day.
But the question is.. not if you have time but if you are interested in this girl enough to peruse a relationship you already know will take effort (what with your busy schedule and all).
Trust me, never wait for your chance to roll around again. It hardly ever does. If you want this girl, go get her.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.