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CRUSH ON FREDO
about a month ago, i asked how to tell my best guy friend of 7 years Fredo that his evil blood-sucking cant-wait-till-the-full-moon vampiress of a girlfriend Lupitalili was going to dump him. the advice was great and it all went well, but now i have a new dilemma: i just recently realized that i have the HUGEST crush on him! what he hell do i do? this is a different kind of crush because we're really good friends...JUST really good friends (who by the way established that with each other and everyone else a couple of years ago). if i tell him, he wont totally freak out like maybe other guys, but things will defenitly be different, and i cant risk our friendship. telling other guys i like them is one thing, BUT THERE'S A TRUE FRIENDSHIP AT STAKE! I cant just hide my feelings for him either, because, like i said, this crush is just...different somehow. what do i do? there's also a whole bunch of girls who are like in love with him.i always thought of him as a brother who i couldnt love anymore even if he really was MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD. having a crush on him changed a lot of things going on in my mind and will change a lot more on everyone else's. what do i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Sometimes it's hard to be around people who we want to be with so much. Distance is the key. Don't disappear completely, but make yourself a bit gone for a while. If he questions it, then you'll be able to tell him and see what his reaction would be. If he doesn't make a move than you know he doesn't really care and you can concentrate on your life in finding someone who will appreciate you. Now if you are someone who can't stay away from him , then tell him now and let him tell you how he feels. Let him know if he doesn't feel the same that's fine but you still want to cultivate the friendship.
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This may sound a bit on the harsh side, but i'm just being honest with you...
Look in the mirror... Are you good looking? Honestly are you?
If you're not... sorry for you, you dont have a chance with this guy if he has all these girls after him.
If you are good looking, go for it... as long as you meet his standards as far as looks go.. you're in. Guys look at all chicks and see them as "hittable" or "Not hittable" aka "Friends" There is a cut off line where if you're not good looking enough for him, you're in that "Not hittable" area and you're only gonna be a friend. But due to the situation with him just being dumped his standards may temporarily be lowered. In this case you may have a shot, but it wont last long, cuz once he gets over it he'll leave you for the better looking girl.
Now i'm not saying your ugly or anything, i've never seen you. I'm just giving you a bit of information to help you make your decision.
I'm a guy, and I know how guys think...
*EDIT*
To answer your question "Why are guys that way?"
It's simply the way the male brain works. As a guy when he looks at a female he analyzes their outward appearance, women do it to. This makes up for a BIG portion of whether or not the guy would consider the girl date-able. Next comes the girls personality, which can make up some for the looks part.
You say he's "not like that" but the truth is, all guys are like that, whether they are willing to admit it or not. It's how our brains function. It's a natural train of thought that just happens.
Sorry if you took offence to my advice, i'm not here to be nice to anyone and i dont wanna sugar coat anything. If I told you what you wanted to hear you wouldn't get anywhere and you'd think you were doing the right thing and end up worse off than you were before.
here's a scenario, in no way similar to yours, but illustrates my point:
Person1:"I cut myself, am I a bad person for that?"
Person2:"No, there's nothing wrong with that, you're normal a lot of people do that"
Sure that's a dramatization but you get the point. I hope i've helped you at least a little.
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Im a guy and if i was Him i would want u to tell me ... espeiccaly if we were good freinds and all iT might turn serious most guys are Kinda shy and dont wanna tell girls that they know alot they like them so u try it and see what happens Good luck
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Dear Crush,
Aaww crushes are great arent they? But are you crushing temporarily or is this something serious? Because youre right there is a true friendship at stake. You dont want to make a move on a crush that will just fade away when the next boy comes along. Keep this in mind.
Also, if you find that this is something real.. a true feeling you have for him.. then do it. Tell him. It's best you let it out then never know what could have happened between you two. It's better to know even if you do end up being rejected in the end.
But let me stress... be sure of your feelings. You are absolutely right, whether he feels the same about you or not.. you will be seriously changing this friendship if you announce your feelings to him. Be careful.
Best of Luck,
She Screams.
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