There's a lot that I think qualifies me to help people and give good advice.
Firstly, I'm bi polar and I live with that every day. I also have arthritis and IBS.
I am a young parent, and polyamorous.
I have complex relationships, and I am an emotional person.
I can give rational advice to other people because I have learned from my mistakes. I've had a plethora of bad relationships, and it's taken me years to find people who are good for me.
I have, always have had, and probably always will have body image issues. I am multi pierced and tattooed, and fascinated by body modification. I am happy with anything that anyone does to express themselves, provided it is safe and ethical.
I believe a well lived life is one that is happy, regardless of money and status.
Website: My LJ
E-mail: wiccan_insanity@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Portsmouth, England
Occupation: Mother
Age: 22
ICQ: 292274791
AIM: ArainnonNiamh
Yahoo: jennifer_bell2004@yahoo.com
MSN: wiccan_insanity@hotmail.com
Member Since: February 21, 2006
Answers: 34
Last Update: May 2, 2006
Visitors: 2652
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alright i was giving my bf a blowjob and well he kept fidgeting and when i asked him why he said it tickled... so now i cant give him blowjobs since it tickles to much. is it normal for him to be ticklish all over his body.... there isnt a place on his body that he isnt ticklish! (link)
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Loads of men are ticklish all over. My primary partner is ticklish everywhere pretty much except his penis.
Try combining oral action with your hands, and gripping quite hard with your hands. Try sucking harder with your mouth and stroking more firmly. A firmer grip usually helps with any ticklish problems.
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What are the bases? (link)
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If you are referring to baseball, I have no idea what you're talking about. I live in the U.K, and we don't play baseball.
If you are, as I suspect, talking about sex, then I generally consider the bases to be as followed:
- First base - Kissing (french kissing)
- Second base - Clothed petting - exploration of the bodys contours such as breasts and erections
- Third base - Heavy petting such as oral sex and mutual masturbation
- Fourth base (home run!) - full sexual intercourse
Please bear in mind though, that concepts of what constitutes each 'base' varies greatly throughout social groups and according to geographical location.
Hope I was of some help!
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I had a question on here about a week ago. I had been raped and I wanted to be tighter again so I could feel like i was a virgin. Most people suggested I do kegels. I did kegels. The weird part is I think I got myself to tight? is that possible?
Id just like to kno because if sometime I do find the right guy, and maybe anytime soon I dont want it to hurt very badly. (link)
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I'd recommend making sure that have resolved the psychological issues involved with your rape before you have sex.
Vaginismus is a serious condition, which quite often occurs after rape, which can make penetration by anything quite painful or impossible.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
I would suggest that you continue doing your Kegel exercises, but you always explore your own body. Become familiar with what makes you aroused and explore the process of lubrication. This way you can better explain to your future lover that you are somewhat cautious about sex, and they can do what they may to ensure you enjoy the experience. If you are relaxed, aroused and have a well lubricated vagina, it will be much more pleasurable for you when you do find a partner.
If you find you cannot comfortably insert your fingers or a tampon (or if it is impossible to do so) into your vagina, even when you feel aroused, seek an appointment with your doctor. If you have experienced physical assault it is best to rule out any damage. If the problem is psychological, then it's a good idea to get a referral to a therapist and talk through your experiences.
Rape is one of the most traumatic things a woman can undergo. I would REALLY suggest that you have accepted and come to terms with your assault before you attempt to have sex. Any partner worth a dime will completly understand this attitude, and will take it slowly with you.
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how old should i be to have sex in your opinion (f)? (link)
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When you're ready. I'm Pagan, and I believe that loving, consensual sex between any two people is a wonderful thing.
So provided you ready, comfortable and not pressured, then whenever you want.
It's generally not a good idea to have sex under the age of consent (in the US it's 18), but it won't damage your body if you do. The age of consent in the UK is 16...so attitude towards sex varies differently. It is best to avoid sex if you are VERY young (under the age of about 13) because your vagina is not fully developed, and being engorged by the penis may cause a 13 year old quite considerable discomfort.
If you begin having sex and find you are not enjoying it, always stop. Never do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
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well hi uhhmm.. i dont exactley know what sex is i mean everyone in school knows all these things and different terms and i dont know this stuff and im to embarrassed to ask if ure not to embarassed to explain please explain!! (link)
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I am confused as to what you are asking about.
Many different things constitute sex.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_intercourse
Sex is not just about penetration, it is about many different things. Sex should be a loving expression of intimacy between two people, I strongly believe it shouldn't be casual. Always explore your partners body gently and find out what arouses them before attempting any kind of heavy petting.
Foreplay generally includes:
- Kissing - either touching your lips, or a wet kiss involving tongues
- Masturbation / mutual masturbation - touching the genitals of your partner for erotic stimulation, i.e: touching your partners penis/having him touch your clitoris or insert his fingers into your vagina or vice versa. Sorry, you didn't say if you were a girl or a boy. Masturbating a man has many, many different euphemisms, including wanking off, jerking off, which tend to be the most common. Masturbating a girl is usually referred to as being 'fingered' by most crude teens.
- Oral sex - this can be either you fellating your partner (putting his penis in your mouth is what fellatio is) or your partner performing cunniligus on you, which is him stimulating your clitoris with his tongue or inserting his tongue into your vagina. This is normally referred to as having a guy 'go down on you', 'lick you eat' or 'eat your pussy'. A good idea for a lot of people who are experimenting with sex is to come up with non threatning language of their own which they use to refer to their genitals and the particular acts they want to perform on each other.
- Heterosexual sex - 'full' heterosexual sex refers to the act of a male inserting his penis into his female partners vagina. The usual course of action is for the penis (and hopefully the clitoris/vagina) to be stimulated through different sexual positions and thrusting of the penis, until the man ejaculates (expels semen) and loses his erection. Women are not usually capable of orgasming during sex itself, and require additional stimulation to their clitorises. Sex is normally referred to in slang terms as 'shagging', 'fucking' or 'getting laid'. Different sub groups of society have their own language which refers to the sex act. Mens ejaculation and womans orgasming is usually referred to as 'coming'. I.e: when a bloke is going to ejaculate he will say, "I'm going to come."
Gay sex (homosexual sex) usually consists of oral sex (fellatio - which is sometimes called 'blowjobs') and anal sex, which includes the inserting of an erect penis into the anal opening. Heterosexual couples have anal sex too, but less than homosexual couples. Anal sex should be enjoyed if it is what pleasures you, and for more many people it is. Anal sex can involve many more diseases, as bacteria there is much more bacteria in the rectum than there is in the vagina. NEVER have vaginal sex after the penis has been in the anus.
Lesbian sex (tribadism) usually involves mutual masturbation, oral sex and sometimes insertion of phallic shaped toys into the vagina or anus.
The most important thing when you begin exploring sex is to be careful and gentle. Don't EVER be pressured into performing a sex act which you do not understand or do not want to do.
Always practice safe sex if you decide to begin having sex. This means using a condom. These can either be male condoms, which fit over the erect penis, or female condoms, which line the inside of the vagina. Female condoms tend to be more expensive than male condoms, but both can usually be obtained free from family planning centres such as Planned Parenthood. If you live in the U.K, national health care programmes should provide access to free contraception and contraceptive advice.
Sorry if some of this seems dreadfully graphic and crude to you, but in my experience it is best to be honest with people so they are armed with all the facts before they go out there into the real world.
If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask!
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14/f
Okay, here's my problem. You see, I really like guys, I really do. I go on dates with them, have crushes on them, they are the ones I want to have a relationship and all that.
But recently I have felt something new. You see I have my friend friend, let's call her Katie. Katie and I are inseperable, always going places together, hanging out whatever. I enjoy being around her so much. I've always felt just fine around her, until about three months ago.
I don't know what happened but soon I felt like I always needed to impress her, look pretty in front of her, and I saw how beautiful she is. I swear she is the most gorgeous person I know! And when she comes over now I just want to be close to her and hug her and touch her. I mean I caught myself starring at her chest the other day and having some daydream that she was kissing me! I don't know what's going on!
Like last night she spent the night at my house, and we sleep in the same bed. Normally it's a double bed, but since I'm rearanging my room it got reduced to a twin. So we srunched together close and I felt so guilty because I enjoyed her body pressed up against mine. And while we were talking all I wanted to do was just lean in and kiss her. It's so weird! And half the time I just want to hold her and know that she is mine and she like me as more than a friend.
But the thing I don't get is that all my guy friends say that they could see us together as lesbiens and i always brush it off because I like guys but her and I always play around kiss each other on the cheek and spoon (the sleeping poission) while we're sleeping, and strattle each other when we're play fighting, just being silly. And some days she says "Sometimes I swear I am a lesbian." and she says it in a joking way, but does she mean it as a joke? I just want her so bad, she's like my other half.
So am I bi? Can you just someday wake up and feel sexual towards someone of the same sex? And if so, if I am bi, how do I tell her? Because she knows me so well and she'll figure it out soon. So what do I say to her? Do I ever tell her that I like her in that way? Thanks for any advice you can give me. I rate high. (link)
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Sexuality can change at any time. Our brain chemistry and socio-cultural influences are continously evolving. So sexual feelings can change too, and often.
Let yourself explore these feelings, and don't feel ashamed of them. At 14, you are far too young to label yourself. You sound lucky to be blessed with liberal and understanding friends. Open up to your closer friends about your feelings. Never let anyone make you feel ashamed of your sexual feelings.
Be sensible and careful, but enjoy yourself too!
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Sorry if this is 'graphic'. 17/f
On Thursday the 6th I went to the gynecologist for the first time.
Well because I had had sex before (only once) she gave me a pap smear.
The next day I noticed some black thick discharge on my underwear. I thought that maybe she had 'popped my cherry'. That night (Friday) there was nothing on my underwear, but during the day I had a good amount of the black discharge again.
The same thing with today. Nothing in the morning but later in the day I have it. Its kind of like a period but its black and not very much.
So could she have 'popped my cherry' or is there maybe something wrong? (link)
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If you've had sex before, your hymen would already be broken. If you hadn't had full intercourse before, she shouldn't really have given you a pap smear.
Make another appointment and soon. Dark red discharge from the vagina is normally a symptom of blood clotting in the vagina or the uterus. There could be any number of things that cause that.
It is not unusual to experience light bleeding after a pap smear, particularly if your vagina is not used to being stretched. Of course, everyones definition of light bleeding is different. If you're not experiencing it during the day, then I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Make an appointment to be on the safe side though.
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I have been dating this guy for almost 8 months now (a year and a half on and off) and I really love him. I have talked to my mom once before about birth control (once when we had been dating for 2 1/2 months, once when it was 5, then once again when it was 7.) It's nearly eight months now and I really wanna get on birth control. But my mom's scared that by doing it she's giving me permission to have sex and do whatever. I explained that if it arises, I just wanna be as protected as possible. I feel weird having to be the one to always bring it up, but I want answers now! My boyfriend is away in rehab for 2 months so I figured now would be a good time to bring it up. How can I talk to her about it and get her to see my side?
I rate high, thanks! (link)
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You don't say how old you are, but I assume that you're relatively young.
Birth control, especially hormonal, is not necessarily good for you. Your cycle is not settled when you are in your teens.
Go to Planned Parenthood and get yourself some free condoms and talk to someone about sex and the surrounding issues. If the guy you're having sex with refuses to use a condom, run a mile.
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My teacher hates me. I can't say a word in her classroom, even when everyone else is talking. I don't like here either. She's my lest fave teacher. Is there any way i could make her like me as a student. (link)
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Jeez, I sympathise with you. I went through that a lot at school. I was a rebellious kids.
All you can do is apologise (sincerely) for anything you have done wrong, work hard and keep up with assignments.
If she still doesn't like you, there is not a lot you can do. Some people just have clashing personalities. It's part of life. You won't have her as your teacher forever, so just ride it out.
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Okay so I used to cut myself, but I've gotten somewhat better now. I have gym tomorrow and the uniform is a t-shirt. I don't want anyone to see the scars/scabs on my arms and make a big deal. Can anyone tell me how to cover my arms in gym, without being really obvious? Please don't tell me to get help for cutting myself, I am in the process of doing so. Thanks so much, I'll rate high. (link)
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Wear a long sleeve shirt and stop cutting. If you feel you can't, seek psychiatric help. Any kind of enduring self harm issue is serious and needs to be discussed with a health professional.
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Ok so I came out to my family and friends three years ago. I haven't "liked" any specific guys before or had crushed on them or thought they were hot or anything (like I look at pictures in magazines of naked guys and I think the photography is good and they look "nice" but I do that with girls too) and I always had "crushes" on girls and thought they were hot.
So last year I started dating a girl a year older than me (I was 18 and she was 19) and we used to get sexual and stuff but it never felt right. It would get really heated while we were having sex but I didn't like being with her like holding hands and stuff and didn't consider us a couple. Eventually we broke up because of it and I figured maybe we didn't have any chemistry.
So a few months ago, I met this chick and she's the same age as me (19) and we got to know each other and we started going out. The same thing happened to me only we didn't even have sex yet. It just didn't feel "right". I didn't feel like I should be with a woman.
I am so confused now. I'm a nineteen year old female and I'm not attracted to -anyone-. Is there something wrong with me? I'm not bi. I'm not straight. I'm not even gay. I don't understand. Is this just me? Because I want to be close to someone and be in a relationship but I don't feel like I should be with guys -or- girls! (link)
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Stop trying to label yourself. You are too young. Sometimes it's nice to know where you are, but sometimes you just need to have fun and experiment.
Go out and meet lots of people. Get to know people before you have sex with them. Take physical intimacy at it's natural pace and don't let anyone push you into anything you don't feel comfortable with.
It takes several years and a lot of experience to come to any kind of conclusion about your sexuality. Some people never do. It doesn't mean you have to e unhappy. You just have to accept that your sexuality is fluid and constantly changing. Just go with the flow.
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ok so me and this guy had an amazing time last night...this guy i reallly like was wrappin his arms around me, puttin his chin on my sholder, starin me in the eyes, we were layin down and he was gettin closer and closer, hugged me goodnight, and just doin all this stuff that made me think that maybe he really likes me. But i hear tonight that he doesn't like me and thinks i'm annoying and w/e. what do ya'll think is the truth? he's 20/m and i'm 17/f (link)
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Men can lead you on. Particularly if they think it is for sex. So that is always a possibility.
However, the people you have heard this from could be just talking a load of shit.
So stop playing around, and just ask him. Being shy and coy is fun when you are young, but when you grow up you realise that you need to own your feelings and stop trying to hide them. Be honest and tell him how you feel!
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I guess this isnt really a question, more of an opinion and/or your relation or differences to this topic. Its about my parents control over me..they dont care what I do. Ever. 15/F. Chicago. I have no curfew..weekday or weekend, no 'chores', they don't care who i'm hanging around with, my mom knows i smoke marijuana. I can, and do, leave the house for days without them calling my cell phone and asking what i'm doing and where I am. I've left the town and state for days numerous times. I get good grades in my private school though and only got in trouble with the police once. I think i'm a pretty good kid. I am going to ozzfest this year and they dont care. I'm always in bad neighborhoods and whatnot. So, basically, whats your opinions on my parents? I dont think theyre being very resposible. (link)
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Okay, time for the truth:
You may still be a minor, but you're 15 years old. You seem intelligent, and you know better than to act like a tearaway. Yes, your parents are responsible for setting guidelines and boundaries, but you are also responsible for your own actions as well.
Your parents may be being liberal with you because they fear being too strict, as their parents may have been with them. I am liberal with my son. Children just need to be taught to respect this freedom and act in a sensible and rational manner.
You seem like you are doing fairly well despite your rebellious attitude. I'd advise you to take several steps:
- Stop smoking marijuana. It fucks you up. It doesn't matter how good your grades are now, if you continue using marijuana regularly they will become less so. It is damaging to your health when used regularly. Occasional recreational use is fine, provided you keep it as that.
- Stop trying to blame your parents for your shortcomings. Once you hit puberty, you have more say over your actions than they do. Don't act like an ass.
- Have respect for the law. Getting into trouble with the police may seem cool. But believe me, it will seem less so when you are kicked out of school or locked up in jail.
- Offer to do chores. I know it's against human nature to do extra work, but maybe it will encourage your parents to have a good opinion of you and interact with you better.
If all else fails, express concerns to your parents.
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anyone know any sites to learn more information on lesbians, gays and bisexuals? (link)
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http://www.rainbownetwork.com is a very good website for learning about the social and cultural aspects of bisexuality and homosexuality from the perspective of the people themselves.
http://www.pflag.org/ is also a good site.
Good luck!
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