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Bi, Straight, Gay?
Ok so I came out to my family and friends three years ago. I haven't "liked" any specific guys before or had crushed on them or thought they were hot or anything (like I look at pictures in magazines of naked guys and I think the photography is good and they look "nice" but I do that with girls too) and I always had "crushes" on girls and thought they were hot.
So last year I started dating a girl a year older than me (I was 18 and she was 19) and we used to get sexual and stuff but it never felt right. It would get really heated while we were having sex but I didn't like being with her like holding hands and stuff and didn't consider us a couple. Eventually we broke up because of it and I figured maybe we didn't have any chemistry.
So a few months ago, I met this chick and she's the same age as me (19) and we got to know each other and we started going out. The same thing happened to me only we didn't even have sex yet. It just didn't feel "right". I didn't feel like I should be with a woman.
I am so confused now. I'm a nineteen year old female and I'm not attracted to -anyone-. Is there something wrong with me? I'm not bi. I'm not straight. I'm not even gay. I don't understand. Is this just me? Because I want to be close to someone and be in a relationship but I don't feel like I should be with guys -or- girls!
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
This question is more common than you probably realize, and please know that you're not alone in your pursuit of how to identify yourself, sexually.
You have no reason to HAVE to be gay, straight, or bi...you know that, right? Just because it's simple for some people to say "I'm straight" or "I'm gay" doesn't mean that you're odd for not knowing. If anything, you're open to the possibility of whatever happens in life, and I think that at 18, that's an amazingly open-minded and mature place to be.
Having said that, I would want to ask you if there's any abuse or trauma in your past that may make it difficult to specify what turns you on, sexually? I have found that many people who are gender dysphoric (meaning, they don't identify with one gender or another, either in their personality, or in whom they are attracted to) have these same doubts and concerns.
If there has been trauma or abuse, counseling or therapy may be a truly beneficial outlet for you to discuss these matters. Really, even if there hasn't been abuse, sometimes a therapist can be a great person to bounce your feelings off of. There's no stigma attached to seeking help.
Please also know that there is no NEED to find out with whom you identify, sexually, on any timetable. Take your time, you have tons of it...sort your feelings out about your identity, and what makes YOU happy. It's hard to be in a relationship, either emotionally OR physically, when you don't know what you want.
It's also important to note that if are sexually attracted to women...there's nothing WRONG with that. Society, family...they may tell you there is, but it's YOUR choice who you love. Don't let those people tell you what's right or wrong...listen to your internal compass. That will let you know who is right for you, regardless of gender.
Good luck to you, and take your time in your pursuit of pleasure!
Marissa
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there's nothing wrong with you, when the right person comes along you'll know you've just got to wait till that happens and try not to think that a person is wrong for you before you properly get to know them. You'll figue out who you are and what your type is when your suppose to, just let your body and brain do their thing
best of luck, xshandix
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Don't rush your hormones when you'll like "someone" you'll know. Don't think your strange or anything. You may be just trying to like everyone else and have a relationship but in reality you aren't quite ready. Anyway go out with a guy and see how it feels and then write back to me. Also it could be that you really haven't found the right person. So don't panic enjoy life and take things as they come to you. Hope i helped!!
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Stop trying to label yourself. You are too young. Sometimes it's nice to know where you are, but sometimes you just need to have fun and experiment.
Go out and meet lots of people. Get to know people before you have sex with them. Take physical intimacy at it's natural pace and don't let anyone push you into anything you don't feel comfortable with.
It takes several years and a lot of experience to come to any kind of conclusion about your sexuality. Some people never do. It doesn't mean you have to e unhappy. You just have to accept that your sexuality is fluid and constantly changing. Just go with the flow.
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Maybe you have a warped expectaion of how love or attraction should be. If your expectations are too high, than anything less would be disappointing. Hollywood would have us all beleive that love is perfect and beautiful and it's like lightning in that it would happen instantly. In reality, that is not the norm. Maybe you should just work on doing things that you enjoy, meeting other people that enjoy similar things, and getting to know them. From there, then decide how you want those relationships to evolve (friendships or more). At least then, you would be doing things that you enjoy, and meeting new friends if not lovers.
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ok well i am only 14 but i have great advice!you should maybe think of going to a club and trying to open up and meet girls and guys and first become friends first!well if you think guys wouldnt like you then try to put on a show or something really sexy or if there is a girl you know is bi lez or straight then show her you care and wanna get stay close and maybe you will turn her and experiment with her and if it is possible you should go to bars or clubs and just meet new people! or you can go to any singles website and look at guys and their personalities and do the same with girls!well i am sorry if this is not much but i will ask my friends at school and they have helped everyone!
well i hope i helped!
meghan
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I guess you havn't found the one?
hmm weiird.
did you ever date a guy? maybe if you did, you would find out you liked it.
idk
experiment!
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