Kendra is a young woman working as a professional in Toronto. She's a cat lover, a bookworm and has always had a deeply rooted interest in people, love and what happens when the former attempts the later.
She's been in three long term relationships, lost her mother when she was 16 and has lived through her father's alcoholism and drug abuse. She's a college graduate in journalism and art, has a quirky personality and has acquired some realistic yet romantic beliefs about love and relationships.
She lives with her boyfriend. Life may not have always been good, but it is good now.
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario
Member Since: August 22, 2008
Answers: 207
Last Update: February 14, 2013
Visitors: 15402
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Razhie
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For some reason whenever I am enjoying a perfectly happy moment and then my mind starts to analyze and go all..."why are you so happy, remember when...or what about this overdue bill or that mistake you made 10 years ago or..even...the dog needs a walk and you have not taken him and he is probably wanting to go...blah, blah, blah. I mean, insane stuff that makes me laugh out loud sometimes at the ridiculousness of it, but still, that little voice pops up and drives me nuts...why is this always butting into my happy space? I'm not Jewish or Catholic (joke) but it would be a great excuse, but is there some normalcy to this or should I just pack my Bin bag, as in "Looney" and maybe take up herion or extasy....dang, anything to shut that thing up, dude. (link)
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You are what we like to call "neurotic". All the best comedians and writers in the world are at least a little neurotic. Woody Allen is almost pathologically so, and he's made a career of it.
The fact that you're laughing about it, though, is a good sign you are in fact a reasonably healthy person, and probably have a decent sense of humour.
Don't beat yourself up for beating yourself up so much. Which is of course impossible because that's what you do. But take heart, you're simply a neurotic person and you're in good company. Embrace it and you'll feel better.
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I take birth control pills and have been for 2 months now. I was talking about it to my boyfriend and he was saying how we wouldn't have to use condoms if we were to have sex since I'm on the pill now. Is that true? Can you get pregnant while on birth control pills or not? (link)
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You still need to use a condom. Even if you used the pill perfectly for a year, and most don't because human error is to be expected, you would still have a 1 in 1,000 chance of getting pregnant that year. Now, that's a hell of a lot better than using nothing or just using condoms.
However, if you make a mistake in taking your pills or you're just the unlucky 1 in 1,000, would it freak you out to get pregnant? If so, save yourself the heartache and stress and use a condom.
Using two methods means that even if one fails, the other one likely won't at the same time. Plus, condoms protect you from STDs and the pill doesn't.
Explain to your boyfriend that you're serious about not having a baby right now and that if he's serious about it too then it's condom time or no sex.
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hi i had sex with a guy i was dating like two or three months ago and i was taking the pill but the day after i ran out and then im just now like a week ago getting back on it but im always tired i get the hickups all the time i fee weak i feel sick i was eating dinner with my mom it was this stuff i use to like and as soon as i smelled it it made my belly turn and i hjust couldnt eat but i took a test a week after we had sex could it be the pill doing that to me ? i hada miscarriage before when i1st started taking the pill but i didnt know i was pregnant until it was too lated and im getting sharp pains that start at my belly button and it shoots all the way down my vag i have no idea what it is but i had the pain before but i was also on the pill before when i got the pain to so idk if im pregnant the test said i wasnt so i didnt stop taking the pill and i dont want to talk to my mom about it she would get mad that im on the pill she got mad when she found out my 35 year old sister was on it she doesnt like it cause what can happen when you on it and she also got pregnant with my brother on it so please help thanks alot
megan
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Okay, you have a lot of questions here. I'll address them as best I can.
1. Have you been getting your period since the last time you had sex? If the last time you had sex was two or three months ago with that guy, and you've had your period since then, we can eliminate pregnancy as a concern. However, when you take a pregnancy test, you need to wait until your period is actually late for it to be an accurate test. Just keep that in mind for the future.
2. Hiccups are not a sign of any known reproductive issue.
3. Feeling weak and sick all the time is a good reason to go to the doctor. Nausea is a sign of pregnancy, but like I said, if you're getting your period (you don't mention whether or not you are) then you're not pregnant.
4. Sharp pains in your belly button that shoots down your vagina is a serious concern, coupled with your stomach pains and weakness. I can't tell you if the pill is the culprit, but you need to see a doctor who can tell you.
5. If you don't want to tell your mother about being on the pill, at least tell her about the pain you're in and that you want a doctor's appointment. You can refrain from mentioning your theory of it being the pill, because really you don't know if that's the cause.
6. Consider asking your doctor to talk to your mother about the pill. The pill is a valuable asset to any sexually active woman and its benefits most often outweigh the risks.
7. You can get pregnant on the pill, yes. When used correctly, 1 in 1,000 women will conceive a year. When subject to typical use, the effectiveness is closer to 3 in 100, which is still better than 6 out of 10 chances of pregnancy when you use nothing.
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Okay so during the school year I have 8 am class every morning so I take my pill at 7:45 in the morning before class and it's not a big deal... but for winter break i'm gonna have a month off and I'm not gonna want to be waking up that early to take it. I know you're supposed to take it at the same time every day but if i like switch it up for like a month will it still be effective? (link)
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You can switch it up when you begin a new pack and take it at a new time. Every time you start a new pack after the 7-day break you can choose a new time if you want to.
But you can't switch it in the middle of taking a pack because then, no, it will not be as effective that month.
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I really hate my Dad because he's a prick and is always grounding me for this and that. Like I come home only like 1 hour later and he's FREAKING out. He doesn't like me I swear. The only thing I can think of is that I'm sexually abused or something and maybe he did it! I'm so mad at him. Is there like a test I can take to see if I'm sexually abused? Like a FREE test because I dont got a job. (link)
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If you don't remember being sexually abused, then you weren't. Whatever reasons you have for this bad relationship with your father, you need to solve it with communication.
There is no test. You ask yourself, has my father ever touched me sexually? If the answer is no, then you're not a sexual abuse victim. I also can't think of a worse way to handle a conflict with a parent.
If you're not feeling loved, tell your father this and how it makes you feel. Then listen to what he has to say and ask him questions. Start a dialogue.
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i keep feeling nusea like everyday and i dont know if i feel sick hungry or just nervous but i dont think im nervous or hungry yesterday i felt like i seriously needed to puke i was starving so i ate a hambuger fastish and i was around smoke from cigs but usually im not that bad around it but i kept for like 2 hours after eating feeling like i needed to puke like ligit i needed to and i went home and drank water laid down and felt fine. sometimes i feel like i have car sickness like bad and im not driving in the car haha. its just annoying and its going on for like a week now everyday why is this? (link)
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If you're having sex, you will want to take a pregnancy test. If it shows you're not pregnant, I'd still make an appointment with your doctor. It's not a good sign to be feeling this sick all the time.
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im 18 and i always wanted to sleep naked but every time i do i get an erection right when i get into bed naked... how can i stop this? (link)
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I'd suggest masturbating before bed if having the erection is going to keep you up or bother you. Odds are you won't be able to get erect again right away, though you are 18 and quite possibly at the horniest era of your life.
Otherwise, it sounds like you have a small kink. There are way weirder problems than this, too, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. If being naked in bed turns you on this much, I'd not advise trying to "fix" that, in general. Frankly, it'll probably serve you well in your sex life as time goes by.
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hey. i was wondering why does my period always skip a month. and when it comes down its in the 20's. when the month is almost ending. :( am confused. (link)
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Your period always skips a month? There are a couple ideas that immediately come to mind. If you're just starting your period within a year ago, your cycles may not be very regular yet.
If you're skipping a month every month and this is your norm, then you may naturally have an irregular period. Talk to your doctor about it. It's not uncommon.
When you say your period is in the "20s" do you mean it always falls near the end of the month? Some women menstruate every 30-31 days and find their periods are always around the same day.
An irregular period is not usually a big concern, so long as your actual period isn't very painful. But again, talking to your doctor about this might ease your mind.
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Okay, so here lately I've been really wet 24/7, and I haven't been horny AT ALL! I don't understand why I've been so wet for. My discharge doesn't have a smell, or a color. Its clear.
*Kind of personal information below, but I don't care.
Today I was taking a poop, and before I wiped, I pee'd. Well, when I went to wipe, I noticed something long, thin dangling from my vagina hole, and I wiped it and it was like gel, or jelly.
It was clear, and no smell, && I rubbed it between my fingers, and it didn't come apart. Kind of like the silly putty that farts when you press it in the cup and it makes a sound. It didn't leave any access discharge on my fingers, it stayed together.
Im alittle scared, because I don't know whats wrong with me. I showed my mom, and I told her where it came from, and she goes "Get it away! You got some kind of disease!" But I dont thank I do? (link)
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Sounds like ovulation. Absolutely normal and nothing at all to worry about. This is exactly the sort of sign you would be looking for if you wanted to have a baby. Some months you'll create more fluid than others. Looks like egg whites, right?
Your mom was wrong, though I suppose most people might be a little uneasy about seeing someone else's vaginal discharge ;)
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About a week ago, I had sex with my boyfriend and the condom broke. And last night I was using the restroom and when i peed, there was legit little blood on the toilet paper.. and i whiped again and there was nothing? But when the condom broke I was on the back end of my period so I wasn't ovulating or anything i don't think :/ (link)
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Condoms sometimes break. The best way to reduce that possibility is to store them correctly. That means not using anything your boyfriend has been carrying around in his pocket or wallet or in his car's glove compartment.
If you're worried you might be pregnant, there is obviously a possibility. When you say back end of your period, do you mean your period was ending? Or your cycle was about to end and your period is due soon? Either time is not terribly fertile, but it can still happen.
Try to relax because all you can do is wait and see if your period is late (and stress can cause it to be late).
My advice, do things to destress and keep calm, like running or bubble baths or whatever, and talk to your doctor about birth control, so that if your condoms fail in the future you have a backup method
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i was wearing a panty liner for about 3 days for my discharge. Today when i was showering i noticed that my vagina (not the inside but by my lips) its looks irritated the best way i can describe it is to say its peeling,dry, and red. no bumps or scabs or anything. i'm hoping its from the discharge on the panty liner. do you have any idea what it could be? (link)
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I would make an appointment with your doctor ASAP. I don't mean to alarm you, but from the sounds of it, you may have gonorrhea.
Symptoms include:
Frequent urination
yellowish discharge
redness and swelling of the genitals
burning and itching around the vagina
It may be something else, I'm not a doctor and even if I was, I couldn't diagnose you over the Internet, but I have to repeat, make sure you make an appointment with your doctor and don't have any sex (though I doubt you're having any right now in your condition) until you do.
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so me & my boyfriend had sex & he pulled out & busted a nut. then it was on my covers & i put my leg down & it got on my leg & i wipped it off, does that mean i can get pregnant? i mean it was during my period. then the other time was two days after my period ended, we did it again & he pulled out but left it go all over him & i put my leg down once again & i wipped it off, then he wipped himself off then we started again, can i get pregnant? i'm really nervous so please give me a straight forward answer.
thankss. (link)
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Pulling out is not a very good method, regardless of how much or how little you may have sat in his ejaculate afterward. Yes, you can get pregnant from this. What you are doing is very risky.
Your boyfriend needs to use a condom. For starters, it's pretty unhygienic to spill semen all over the place and a condom would keep it all contained and it would be super easy to dispose of it neatly.
But really, the issue here is pregnancy. Pre-ejaculate can contain sperm. It's what oozes out of the penis during sex, prior to the final finish.
Additionally, relying on your boyfriend to pull out at the correct time is like playing roulette with your uterus. All the control over YOUR body lies with another person timing his orgasm correctly (which he may not do, on top of having the sperm in the pre-ejaculate). Is that really okay with you? Imagine reading "pregnant" on a test and think how you will feel when you realize that you allowed it to happen just so your bf wouldn't have to wear a condom. Will it be worth it? Hells to the no.
You can also get pregnant on your period. It's less likely, but definitely not impossible. It happens and it's not terribly rare. Please make an appointment with your doctor to get on a form of birth control, and make your BF use a condom, too. Doubling up methods is the best way to stay safe when you have sex.
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hey, well i recently moved to a new school and after a few months i really started to like this guy. He found out i liked him and said to my friends that he wouldn't go out with me JUST because i liked him. i stopped liking him and a big group of my friends went out one day and apparently him and i really go well together. he found out that i liked him again. and now my friends saying that she's going to ask him out for me but i really don't want her to. should i tell him? by the way we are good friends. (link)
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He already knows you like him and that wasn't enough for him to make a move. He's not interested. I wouldn't take it any further or open up to him. All signs point to a rejection.
The best way to know if a boy likes you? When he finds out you like him, he takes the opportunity to ask you out.
Think about it, if you found out someone liked you and you liked him, wouldn't that be enough of a reason for you to want to be with him? And if you didn't like him back, wouldn't his feelings not be enough for you to want to go out with him? That's how he seems to feel.
Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, just that he's not into you. It happens to women all the time every day, and to men, too. And take it from me, when a guy doesn't like you that way, there is absolutely nothing in the entire world that you can do to ever change his mind. Males either want someone or they don't.
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Ok Husband constantly texting friends of mine setting up coffee dates, etc that i cancel. Through my phone!! he demands i get new "girlfriends all the time. when i dont go on these "dates" i get the silent treatment for a week or two. just yesterday he texted a new frien of mine ( a massage therapist) and set up a massage for me with her without telling me. I just had a massage elsewhere last week and said I felt great! he said "if you love me, you will get it done, it will make me (him) happy. I am now getting the silent treatment and I wish he would just punch me already! this has been going on for 6 years and shows no signs of stopping.he wont let me have unattractive "friends" either. i think it is totally sexually charged. HELP!!! (link)
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Your husband is being an ass. Lock your phone immediately. If he knows any of your other passwords, you need to change them and keep them private. It's not his decision how or when you contact new friends, or how attractive they should be.
You need to put your foot down and tell him you will no longer be held hostage by his silent treatments, nor will you tolerate any more interference from him in your friendships. He is your husband, not the boss of you. He needs to know you were not put on this Earth to do as he says or else.
I think you two need marital counselling. And frankly, if things have deteriorated to the point you'd rather he punch you (Has he ever?) because his behaviour is this unbearable then this marriage may be over if he won't go to counselling.
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I was thinking of having sex and read something about how the guy is going to have to break my hymen but most people just say it's popping thier cherry. So, like, where is the hymen? Is it like up inside my vagina some place? I use tampons and never hit anything in there that I would think a boy would have to break to have sex with me. And does the guy break it with his hands or fingers first or what? I mean, obviously if it's something that you have to break before you can have sex then I'd have to tell him so he knew what to do right? (link)
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The hymen is a funny piece of tissue near the opening of the vagina. It can come in many different shapes and forms. The most common is a small flap-like crescent. As a girl uses tampons, she will stretch her hymen out a bit. Running, sports, various life activities can stretch it as well.
Now, since you can get a tampon in, you shouldn't have too much pain or bleeding during your first time, providing your partner is slow, careful and listens carefully to your requests to be more gentle.
It's called popping the cherry because of the blood factor. It occurs during penetration of the penis into the vagina. The hymen won't exactly break. It may tear a little, which is where the blood comes from. Or it may just stretch a lot, which would be a little uncomfortable, but blood-free.
Things that can help are lots of foreplay and deep breathing to relax you. Lubricant can ease your first time as well, and make it a smoother experience. Also, make sure you're on birth control AND your partner has a condom, or you'll just be back here asking if you might be pregnant ;)
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I recently found out a friend I have has genital warts. I have tried to look up information on it but the internet has so muc info that I cant find the answer I am looking for. All I want to know is how contagious is it? Like can you only get it if you have sex or can you get it from just touching? I am in NO way sexually active with this guy. I'm worried cuz I hug him a lot. Like what if he touched his dick and doesnt wash his hands then touches my hand or skin. I really dont want to get it so I'm just curious if its possible to get it from him even if I dont do anything sexual with him. (link)
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You won't get his warts unless you have unprotected sexual contact with him. It requires genital to genital contact.
Think about it for a second, if genital warts were so easily contagious, we'll all have them. Don't worry about hugging your friend.
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Alright wel i found this brwn spot on my niple. I wuz wonderingif i could be pregnant? my vagina is also smelling. and i might bloated. I am soooo scared if im pregnant or not? helpp)": (link)
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New spots on your nipples should be checked by a doctor. They're not signs of pregnancy, but they should be looked at.
Changes in smells and bloating sound like your period is coming. If your period is late by a week, take a pregnancy test. If you're not using birth control, start immediately.
Two forms are best. Your boyfriend should use a condom and you need to use either the pill, the patch or the ring. When you talk to your doctor about the changes in your nipple, talk to him or her about using contraceptives as well.
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I wuznt sure which subject to put this under, but i wuz wondering if i wuz pregnant. I get headaches, i may be bloated and my vagina kinda smells. I am not even close to my period. I have 21 days left. I wuz just wondering if i could tell before i have a missed period if i do. Cuz i'm really scared. And please, i dont want someone telling me that i shouldnt of had sex if i wuznt ready for sex. Its already happened. i cant change it. I need a real answer): (link)
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If you have had unprotected sex less than 78 hours ago, you can purchase Plan B. It's not an abortion pill, it's a concentrated version of the pill, which will prevent ovulation and in the event of an already fertilized egg, will prevent the egg from implanting (which is when pregnancy begins).
Look it up online; some American states have restrictions.
Now, you need to wait until your period is due to take an accurate pregnancy test. If you're even one day late you can take it, though I'd wait a few days. Since you're so stressed it could wind up late because of that alone.
Vaginal odours change throughout a woman's cycle. You won't always smell the same. The discharge changes, too. Bloating and headaches are not typically signs of a couple days along pregnancy. Real symptoms come along several weeks later, such as nausea and vomiting and most importantly, a missed period.
If you think you're going to have sex in the future, make sure you make an appointment with your doctor get on the pill, the patch or the ring, and have your boyfriend use a condom. Then these sorts of worries won't ruin your life on a monthly basis.
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Yesterday I met up with an ex against my parents' wishes. We wanted to talk things out and start over, as friends this time. However when I got to his house after a while one thing led to another and he began to kiss me. We were fooling around on top of our clothes, but he had to "adjust himslef", but then about 7mins later, we weren't thinking and I let him finger me.
What are the chances I could be pregnant? I'm 18, I have a pretty regular menstrual cycle (which I hope starts back up on September 24th or close to it), and I was in an ovulatory stage. Right now I'm scared out of my mind. Please help me.
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Sperm is required for pregnancy. Sperm doesn't come out of fingers, only the penis. Without his ejaculate getting a clear path to your vagina, you're not going to get pregnant.
The only thing I could think of would be if he got semen on his finger first (Which you would have noticed because men don't exactly ejaculate nonchalantly onto their hands) before inserting it into you.
So unless dude coated his finger with semen like mustard on a hotdog, I think you're fine.
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My boyfriend REALLY wants to have anal sex with me and I told him he could next time we're alone but I'm so scared it will hurt. He said he heard it hurt a lot for girls to get anal their first time. My friend said butt sex is gross and so we don't talk about it and I can't ask for advice. How can I not be so scared of having anal sex? Will it REALLY hurt? And does it feel good? I don't know anything about it really except I can't get pregnant doing it. (link)
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Anal sex is not something everybody does. For those that love it, they know how to do it properly, and they work up to it slowly and it involves a lot of trust. But you don't need to feel like you have to do it.
Honestly, so long as you're scared, I wouldn't do it. Fear makes people tighten their muscles up. Tightness will cause pain, no matter how much lube you use.
I would suggest talking to him about your fears openly and honestly. Ask him questions. Share your ideas. This can't be something you both go into without adequate conversation.
If he gets mad that you want to wait and hold back till your comfortable, dump his ass, because YOUR ass belongs to you, not him, and you get to make 100% of all decisions involving it.
If he's a good guy, he'll be patient, understanding, won't pressure you and will be more than happy to talk it over and wait until you're ready. And if you never get ready, that's fine too. Nowhere is it written that a woman must accept things in her anus. I wonder if you boyfriend would be comfortable with something going into his.
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