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silent treatment
Ok Husband constantly texting friends of mine setting up coffee dates, etc that i cancel. Through my phone!! he demands i get new "girlfriends all the time. when i dont go on these "dates" i get the silent treatment for a week or two. just yesterday he texted a new frien of mine ( a massage therapist) and set up a massage for me with her without telling me. I just had a massage elsewhere last week and said I felt great! he said "if you love me, you will get it done, it will make me (him) happy. I am now getting the silent treatment and I wish he would just punch me already! this has been going on for 6 years and shows no signs of stopping.he wont let me have unattractive "friends" either. i think it is totally sexually charged. HELP!!!
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I'm not sure if you think that you're all that attractive that all your other friends are unattractive but you shouldn't judge your friends by their looks. As far as your husband goes, him setting up a surprise massage for you sounds like an unselfish and giving thing. He may have gone about it in a strange manner but it sounds very harmless. And as for him wanting you to go out with some friends sounds pretty amazing to me. I wish my husband would let me go out with my friends. I'd be happy to trade you because my husband questions me if I stay at walmart to long. I'm just curious if you ever get out of the house of do anything besides stay at home. He may really love you but he just may need some time apart from you and getting you to go out with your friends is his only way to express that. I think you've got your own issues you need to deal with before you accuse him of something it's not.
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Hey hun,
i think your husband is being very unreasonable he has no right firstly to go throug your phone and secondly he has absolutely no right to set up little coffee dates for you. don't let him take control i think you should tell him that its unecessary. what i find clueless is why he feels the urge to do this and ecspecially the part of you not allowed to have unattractive friends which is really out of order, babe i think you need to have a proper talk about this don't let it turn into something that begins to really affect your marriage hun good luck
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Your husband is being an ass. Lock your phone immediately. If he knows any of your other passwords, you need to change them and keep them private. It's not his decision how or when you contact new friends, or how attractive they should be.
You need to put your foot down and tell him you will no longer be held hostage by his silent treatments, nor will you tolerate any more interference from him in your friendships. He is your husband, not the boss of you. He needs to know you were not put on this Earth to do as he says or else.
I think you two need marital counselling. And frankly, if things have deteriorated to the point you'd rather he punch you (Has he ever?) because his behaviour is this unbearable then this marriage may be over if he won't go to counselling.
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Lock your phone.
This is outrageously controlling behavior.
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Lock your phone and no longer allow him access to it. He is abusing the generosity in which you've allowed him to access your phone. Your spouse isn't allowed to open your mail legally, they shouldn't be entitled to your personal phone or e-mail accounts either.
Then take him to martial counselling if you want this work. If he won’t go, go by yourself to learn skills to deal with his manipulative behaviour.
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