KellyHappy's advice column

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Q: saturday night i messed around with a few guys at a party while i was drunk. i made out with 3, like pretty hardcore, cuz when im drunk get really aggressive haha. then there was one guy who i gave a hand job to and he fingered me, and i think i started to give him a bj, but then decided not to. but even if i did, i know i didnt swallow anything. but i really am thinking i didnt at all..haha.

anyways, now my throat is hurting really bad and is dry and hurts to swallow, and i've been having a pretty bad headache and im a little hot. could this possibly be mono? or just a simple cold i caught from one of the guys? its also possible its just a little bug, since some of my friends are feeling sick too..but idk. thanks =]

Saturday night, so four nights ago?
Mono symptoms don't show up for about a month. I highly doubt that it's mono.
You probably have a cold, I have one myself and I'm feeling the sam e way you're describing.
One of the guys was probably just sick or getting over an illness.

Q: ok well, i have a boyfriend of 8 months and i love him i really do but recently all i can think about is my ex-boyfriend who i havent talked to in like a year and i was his first hookup and his last and i think if we tried again it would really work out..but i still love my current bf to death. but its bad how much i have been missing him and really thinking about him...ahh i dont noo what to do!!!!!!!!! age 15 boyfriend is 17 ex is 16

Well, you haven't spoken to this ex in a year.
Is there a reason you haven't spoken to him? Ever consider that maybe you broke up for a legit reason too?
I think you're thinking of your ex because you want your current boyfriend to treat you more like your ex, maybe, I can't be completely sure.
Or maybe someone has walked into your life who reminds you of your ex, or something that you're learning in school is reminding you of him. There could be tons of reasons he's popping back into your head, they don't have to be that you still like him.

But if you do seriously still have feelings for your ex, it's not fair to keep dating a guy that you don't like as much as someone else.
So if you're sure that you like your ex more, break up with your current boyfriend. And if you and your ex don't work out, maybe you're meant to be single for a bit.

Q: ok i am a 14/f. everyday at least twice i am thinking about sex. i want to have it but im scared i watch people on redtube.com have sex and i like it. i do not know how to stop this and i need help my parents or sister do not know about this. my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years does not know this and i want to tell him but i dont no how any advice??

Well, chances are your boyfriend has visited redtube more than a few times too, and I bet he wouldn't mind if one day, you told him that you wanted to have sex with him.
Just tell him straight up.
But make sure you have condoms and stuff, birth control wouldn't hurt either.
The first few times, will not be like anything you see on the internet. It hurts, it's not very fun, you probably won't enjoy it.
But I promise, after like the 3rd time, it's just as awesome as it sounds.

You might want to let your mom know that you're ready to lose your virginity too, if she's logical, she'll be supportive of you, and take you to the gyno to get some birth control.

Q: eighteen year old female [:
yes, im a virgin!

anyways im planning on having sex for the first time in about a week and a half. i know, have it with the one you love, make sure you're ready and all that but that's not my question my question is...

how bad is it going to hurt? i've had my period for four years now and i've always used tampons. i use all different sizes mainly the super and super plus one's though, so by using those would it stretch it out at all? also, for the past week or so i have been fingering myself just to try and stretch it a little bit, but i have no idea if im doing it right! I do it in the bath tub, and i can do two fingers without it hurting and three, well i can get them in but it might be a little tight. so how bad do you think it would hurt when i have sex? i am not very physically active, i've only madeout with two guys, got a hickey and got felt up (many people think it's sad, i just dont care) but im ready to have sex with my boy who i really love. i want to be prepared on how bad it's going to hurt. i understand nobody knows my body but since i have used the super plus tampons for four years and have been fingering myself i thought maybe i would be a little looser. getting pregnant and having it hurt are two things people are always afraid of but i'm on birth control and we would use a condom so i'm more worried about it hurting. also i've heard it hurts less if the girl is on the bottom, and i've heard if the girl was on top. i think i want to be on the bottom at least for my first time because i have no clue what i'm doing! is there also anything else i should know!? thanks [:

Since you can fit three fingers up there, it shouldn't hurt that bad. The use of tampons DOES stretch it out, so you're pretty set with the pain thing.
It does hurt less if you're on bottom, cause if you're on top, you're basically impaling yourself, it's a lot easier if your boy does the work the first time, so that you can know what to do the next time.
I would also suggest that you do missionary the first time. It's the least painful and most simple position. And make sure if something feels good, or it hurts, to let your guy know. If you don't tell him, he won't know, and it can't be fixed.

Q: ok well i got a new boy frined we talked for like 2 weeks and i blame my self for not getting to know him completely but i didnt think things would change like they have when we were talking he was the sweetest guy to me he made me realy happy and special he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes we have been together 3 weeks and well im not as happy any more he doesnt do any thing now it seems like he doesnt care he wont call or text unless i do it first he doesnt treat me like his girl friend i dont know what to do i want him to care about me show it and mean it like he said he would i have talked to him about this and he said i am to sensitve and i get mad to easly but im not even mad im just confused and kinda sad on why things have changed i dont like it what should i do i mean i have guy friends that show me they care about me more than my own boy friend does :( i want our realtionship to work i like him alot what should i do???

I've had the same problem, multiple times.
Bottom line is, this kid sucks at relationships.
It's not that he doesn't like you. For a lot of guys, they flirt with girls they like to get them to like them, and then once they get the girl, they treat them more like friends than anything else, because they aren't trying to attract you to them, because you already are attracted to them.
I promise I'm not trying to sound like I understand guys because I'm some teen psychologist or something, this is what my guy friends have actually told me.
As for the whole texting/ calling first thing, some guys like it if the girl texts/calls first because it makes them feel like the girl wants to talk to them. Not saying he's that way, but it IS a common thing among boys. Girls feel the same way, thats why you're upset about him not calling or texting first. Haha.

I understand why you're upset too. You got used to him showing all that affection, and then the abrupt stop jostled you. I know the feeling, it makes complete sense to anyone that it's happened too, unfortunately, it probably doesn't to the guy, he most likely doesn't see the difference.

Let him know exactly what you want him to do. If you like holding hands, tell him so. If you want him to text you sometimes first, tell him so. Make sure he knows what's upsetting you, but don't talk to him in an accusatory tone. Don't walk over and say "You never call me". Because that's showing that you think you know what he does and doesn't do. Instead, try to say "I'd really like it if you called me sometimes." or something along those lines.

Q: okay im almost 16 years old, im a virgin. never been fingered or anything. i cant even put a tampon in. it like kills! i cant find the hole. like i know where it is and i can like find it i guess, but it doesnt go whenever i try to put a tampon in,. iseriouslyyy think something is wrong with me. my mom even tried to help me. ew ik. but i needed help. and nothing. i cant even like try to stidck a finger up me bc it doesnt go. i eneeeed help

Dude, no worries. I was the same way when I was 15.
Have your boyfriend, if you have one, finger you. It'll hurt probably, but it's easier to handle because he's doing it, and you're not doing it to yourself. Just suck it up for a few times, and then it'll be completely fine and you can use tampons and whatnot as you please.

Q: 18, female
this is probably a stupid question, but im a virgin and not sexually active. when you have sex, you still take your birth control after right? like lets say you have sex on a friday, you would still take it on that saturday right? and also when is the best time to have sex.i'm on birth control and would make him use a condom but i am just SO paranoid about getting pregnant that i want everything to go well. so if you can give me and tips or info that would be great!

You take birth control every day, at the same time every day.
Say you take it on Friday at 7:00 pm, you take it on Saturday at 7:00 pm, and so on and so forth.

You're thinking of the plan B pill, also known as the morning after pill. You take that if the condom breaks or he cums inside of you, it's suppose to kill the semen.

The best time to have sex, is when you and your partner are both in the mood for it. Don't force it because you only have a certain amount of time, it wont feel as good if only one person wants it, or you're just having sex to have sex.
And since you're a virgin, you won't orgasm for the first few times, and it probably won't feel that great, because it's your first time.
But don't let that stop you, the third time at latest is great.

When you lose it, you're going to want to be in the missionary position, google it if you need to know what it looks like. It's the most intimate and simple position, and it won't hurt as bad as other ones. You also need to keep communication lines open. Tell your partner what feels good, and what hurts, it's really important to be open, even if it does sound embarrassing.

Q: ok so i haven't seen the movie yet but i was watching some video's on youtube and they were saying things like the cloverfield monster is real and stuff like that here is a video that says that there is a picture of the monster in the movie poster
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0_cCM2y38Q&feature=related

and here is a video claiming to show the movies three main secrets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKdPUNwQWjQ&feature=related

so does anyone believe that this is based on a true story or is it just something someone made up

HAHAHAHA.
Watch the movie, seriously.
Watch it and tell me if you think it could possibly be real.

Q: i think witch craft is really evil in highschool theres this girl that was fascinated by it and even said that she was one. so then i knew that i shouldnt be hanging out with her. but then i am curious. if she was a witch could she like not become one anymore. or is that somesort of like permanent thing. i feel like this is a really rude topic but i was curious and wanted to know something more intelligent about it.

If you want to know something intelligent, how about learning some proper grammar?

Don't be so biased, she's not a witch, she's Wiccan, it's a religious system of beliefs. You can stop practicing Wicca, and she can whenever she wants to, but if you try to convert her back to whatever bull you believe, that just makes you hypocritical.
Contacting spirits is better than worshiping a big man in the sky.

Grow up, and learn to use the internet, instead of just listening to what your parents tell you.

Q: So, I am planning on having sex for the first time. I have condoms on hand, and I am on birth control so I'm not too worried about the whole STD/pregnancy thing but I want to know if there's anything else I should be worried about?

ps: i am 18/f

Uh, you aren't completely protected for STDs or pregnancy, just better protected than normal.
But other than that, you may bleed, you might not, but it will hurt.
But it's super great, and other than that there really isn't anything to worry about =]

Q: Im married to this guy on facebook. He lives in a different state, but is only about a half hour drive away. We have only hung out like four times, but were really close. I havent seen him for about a month, but I really dont want to be married to him on facebook, since we only see each other about once a month. I want to break up the fb marriage with him, but I feel like if I do, then we wont hang out anymore, because I probably will only see him again in like 1 month at the shortest, because I'm in soccer season right now.
But I want to be single on fb, so how can I end it?

...it's facebook.
Push the "single" button in your status edit.

Q: Ok this is my first time doing this and my question is,When can you take the ear tapers out? and when can you take the ear plugs out? im planning to stay in 14g.

You can take them out whenever you want, as long as you keep something else in there. Since it's just stretching the hole, it'll retract eventually back to where it was.
But you might want to wait until it heals to take out the plugs/tapers, incase it gets infected.

Q: I am 15 years old and i am a female and i currently like this guy named torrey.
he is sucha sweetheart and he really knows how to treat a girl proper!
The other day we were playing a game of 20 questions and he asked me if i had ever liked him and i said yes and so i asked him the same question back and he said yes, and then i asked him if he still liked me and he said yes and i told him that i still liked him, but he said he wanted to take things slow, so im not sure if were a couple or not. He keeps saying how badly he wants to kiss me and i told him i want to kiss him really badly too. I really hope he is planning on asking me out becuase i like him ALOT!
Anyways im supposed to be going to his house this week to watch scary movies(his choice) and i don't know if i should ask him to make us official or if i should wait?
SO please Help!

Don't worry about the distance, 20 minutes is short.
I dated a guy who lived an hour and fifteen minutes away once and we were together for 6 months with no problem.
Thats really great that you found someone who treats you good.
I bet he'll make it official and you guys will be great together =]

Q: Does anyone know any bands that are similar to Dimmu Borgir?

Thanks!

Amon Amarth, Napalm Death, Borknagar, Rotting Christ, Immortal, Emperor, Satyricon, Nile and Cannibal Corpse are all similar to Dimmu.

=]

Q: If a relief pitcher comes in for his season debut with no one on base and two outs in the bottom of the ninth with the score 5 to 5, and gives up a walk off homer on one pitch, what is his ERA? Keep in mind he's recorded no innings, let alone outs.

Thanks.

He doesn't have an ERA.

To get an ERA, you multiply the total runs earned against the pitcher by 9. Then you divide that number by the number of innings they've pitched.

If he didnt get an out, then he didn't get the 1/3 inning, because he didn't make at least one out, out of the three he could have gotten out.

So he doesn't have an ERA.

On the other hand, if there was 1 out when he came up, and he got a batter out so there were 2 outs, and THEN the batter got the run, his ERA would be 27.

Q: okay, for all you readers out there, whoever reads the twilight series i need help. (the one with new moon and eclipse) okay i know the final and last one comes out in august, but what date?! i cant wait for the movie :D pleaseee help, what date in august is it coming out???

AUGUST SECOND!!!

www.stepheniemeyer.com

^^
info about the movie, all three books, and other projects.

Q: okay, so theres this guy name Jacob. we're pretty good friends[although im like totaly in love with him! and he sure knows it]. we usualy talk to eachother 24/7 in all the classes we got together.
and well i've recently been avoiding him, try to make short conversations, and not to talk to him or even look at him.
but i've been laughing and hanging around with his friends[my friends] quite well and alot too. right in front of him, i dont mean to haha. its a coincidence..
i dunno if hes' jealous or just feels left out, but now hes trying to make me laugh again[been going to the emo side lately] & talk to me. you can tell if you were me. felt awkward.
i just act like i dont care cause im quite mad at him. =\
also.. in the halls, wen we pass eachother alot he usualy smiles realy huge at me. which makes me laugh to but i mean cmon, im mad at him, im not suppose to laugh >_<
also, me best friend has a class with him and she sits in front of him and she tells me that he also throughs paper balls at her[ i got reasons to believe that hes flirting with her. but you no how naive a girl can be..xD] but anywayz. it makes me wonder if he's really jealous.

&& i got a huge test[state test whatever mines the FCAT and i dont wanna be stressing out and fail it bkuz it determines if i going to high skool or not and i dont wanna be worrying about what hes thinking]

so i wanna no if hes jealous or feels left out?

14/f and in 8th grade

I think that he just wants your attention back.
You aren't flirting with other guys around him or anything, so he doesn't exactly have a reason to be jealous.
Also, I'm sure his other friends are including him with stuff, so he probably doesn't feel left out.

He just wants to be your center of attention again because:
A) It made him feel special
B) He really likes you =)

And also, I'm in 9th grade, and also taking the FCAT this Tuesday.
Believe me, the 8th grade FCAT is by far the easiest one of all the years that I've taken it. Don't stress and just get a good night sleep there's really no reason to over think it.

Q: ok i need some info about boners. im a girl and my bf usually gets them when we makeout but thats good because i always try to turn him on as much as possible. what im wondering is do guys get them when they makeout with girls they really like or only when that girl does something sexy. and any other info about them would be helpful and appreciated :)

When a guy gets a "boner" it's because he's turned on.
Boys can be turned on by people who they aren't dating, as is kind of common sense.
So when your boyfriend gets hard, its because he is turned on, not because he likes you.
When it involves matters of emotion, boys try to think with the head on top of the body, not the other one.

Of course, your boyfriend could be one of the few who actually are only turned on by girls he has strong feelings for, believe it or not they come like that, but it's kind of unlikely. No one on here knows the kid personally so we wouldn't know how he functions.

So in short, most guys get turned on because they like someone, more because they find them physically appealing, but being sexy can't really be a bad thing, right?

Q: Hey. a little bit ago you just gave me advice on liking an older guy. you said to write on his facebook wall because communication like that is the easiest. Do you think it would be weird though because we dont talk that much so i dont want him to think i'm like a little freshman that's obsessed with him. Cause a lot of freshman are like that to him. So do you think i should wait until we are a little better friends, or just say hey on his wall now.

thanks!!

Well, there really isn't anything weird about writting on a facebook wall, you know?
Everyone likes to make new friends.
So I say just be like "Hey, what's up?"
Or maybe if you have something in common that you've previously discussed you could bring that up.
Like if you both like a band and they have a new album, you can ask if he's heard it or something along those lines.

Q: hey so i really liek this guy and he is two grades above me and very well liked so it is pretty much impossible that i could ever get with him but does anyone have any advice whatsoever. i'm a freshman while he is a junior in high school. I know this is pretty much impossible but does anyone have anything i can do or say around him to make him think of me in a different way? we arent good friends at all but we have talked before and he knows me. i dont want to like write on his facebook wall or do anything like that cause i dont know him well enough.. anything else?

ah thanks!

I'll tell you this, it's no where near imposible.
I'm a freshman, and I'm dating a senior, so it can be done. =]

Anyways, talking on the internet is usually the easiest form of communication for people, so maybe you could make a witty picture comment, or just ask what's up. Basically, if you're friends with him on facebook, it won't be weird to talk to him on facebook.

As for conversations in person, i know its trite, but just be yourself. If he gets to know and like you, while you're pretending to be something you're not, the relationship, whether it be friendship or more than that, will fail. You really need to just be more outgoing, guys like it when you be yourself, and show interest in them.

Hope i helped =]
If you need anything else, or have a specific question, feel free to access my inbox.