AuntieEm's advice column

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Q: i really really need help with chemistry. if anyone can help me? im in hs. we are doing covalent bonds and i just dont get it. any tips?

molecular compounds
molecular formulas
covalent bonds
molecular orbitals
sigma bonds, pi bonds
hybrid orbitals
polar bonds

i would suggest getting a tutor
or staying after school...

if you arent really getting it in person i dont think online will help you...

some teachers will tutor for free if you ask...
and i hope you dont feel stupid with a tutor. a few friends of mine use them and they went from low F failing to high B so they do help...

good luck!

Q: Sometime last week me and my bf were talking about having sex and he didnt think i was being serious about it..i told him that i would have sex with him but he thought i was joking and i really would and i want to..he says he wants to but i dont know if hes just saying that or what. i dont know how to make him see that i am serious. how do i do it? im really shy about these things too.

well if you have told him; and he still doesnt take you seriously; SHOW him.

when you are like making out and you feel ready; take off your shirt.
make out some more; and slowly undress more.
and say something like "i am seriously and 100% ready for this"

make sure you have a condom with you. PLEASE BE SAFE!

Q: I would like someone to please tell me how to get a dual citizenship. I am Canadian, but I would like to move to the states. I have no family in the states. I know there is something about naturalization but I don't know much about it. A good site explaining EVERYTHING would help but if someone actually knows that would be good. Thank you. :)

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis

you should be able to find a LOT of info on this site...

the only stuff i know personally is what we were taught in Civics last year...which is just the basic jist of like the 9 steps haha

so i think the website is the best bet (my mom found it for me and she works for the gov.)

good luck!

Q: Are strapless dresses made for girls with only big breats to fit at the top? I'm flat but I want to wear one but I'm scared anything bad or embarrassing might happen..

as long as you get one that fits; you'll be fine

a lot of girls who are let's just say not very big; wore strapless dresses for homecoming and looked great.

although it does depend on the dress.
Usually zipper ones are much better then the type that are like elastic at the top (like some skirts are...)

but always try it on and move around in it a bit.
this may sound dumb; but like if you are wearing it to a dance; dance in it a bit to make sure it stays on.

If worse comes to worse you could always use double sided tape to help ( a friend of mine did that when she got a size too big!)

good luck!
Ask back if you need it!

Q: Like if sperm is like dryed out can it still make you pregnent? If like someone -eats you out with sperm on their lips can u pregnent if there tongue wasnt inside you and what time of the month do you get preganent?

okay first off to the person below me; it only takes ONE sperm to make the egg fertizlied.

only one can do it because once it's in; no others are getting in
and there are tons in like one drop of the white cum you actually see.

Now if it's dry; you are probally okay but like the first advice said; it takes about a week to fully die; so there is still a chance.

and there isnt a specific time of the month you can get pregnant.
even if you do it while on your period; the sperm could (And this isnt rare) still be alive and when the new egg drops; fertilizies it.

You are more LIKELY to get pregant when you are ovulating; but usually you can anytime.

So ALWAYS use a condom; and wash up.
Dont let anyone with sperm on their hands finger you; and you shouldnt let any sperm come in contact.

You are probally okay; but if you miss your period or are late or whatever get an EPT A.S.A.P.

Q: ok my dad has a girlfriend shea pretty were nice clothes all the time but when we go places with her shes loud and cause im skinny i tried on clothes and they were to big she started laughing that aint bad but she make me do stuff for her cause i dont be wanting to eat.So tell me should i like her or not? o yea and shes rude sometimes but she does hair kute and her mom talka about my sis cause shes fat. my dad also gets mad at me cause i dont like her wat should i do?

only you can choose if you like them or not
but you have the right not to

i HATE my moms fiance SO much; and she knows it.
but she is still with him
so even if you dont like her; it's not guarentte she wont still be around.

talk to your dad. tell him why you dont like her.
even if you dont have real reasons; just talk to him.
it may not solve everything; but letting him know where you stand is good.

Q: my best friend is a huge flirt. we joke around about it, and we think its funny sometimes. but now,recently, its bothering me cause any guy that i like or like me.. she starts to flirt with. she knows and i dont think she means to. she never emotionally hurt me or stole a guy from me, i'm just afrarid she will.
so what can i do maybe make her stop or keep a guys attention on me? help is appreciated

tell her.
i doubt she means to; i am a huge flirt too and i know i have done the same thing (not on purpose)
to my best friend.

just tell her. she may not realize it; and when she does she will feel like shit..
let her know it bothers you; and if she's a good friend she'll stop

or at least work on it; it's not that easy to stop right away
you may need to remind her :]

Q: so yeah there is this guy at my school. and i'm pretty sure he liked me a lot! he looked at me like he's in love. everytime his friends saw me they winked at eachother. and he smiled at me a lot 2. i admit i always ignored him cause thats just the way i am but I think THATS what made me interesting or whatever on the last day of school he smiled AGAIN.
but now since half term is over he kinda ignores me. his friends don't say anything anymore. they just walk pass me. well in the last couple of days i looked at him but i didn't smile or anything like that. i dunno whats up with him. and now i act like i don't care again cause i'm a bit ambarressed. but i really like him and i don't get him lately. it's so weird!
what is he thinking?

help?

thx

it's possible that with all the "playing hard to get" he got discouraged and moved on...

the only way to tell for sure is talk to him

cause he might be tryin to "i dont care" act too

Q: hey can someone please explain this quote for me

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

there is a quote that is "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth"
basically; like if you kill someone; you should be killed.

what the quote your asking about means that if person A (lets stay with the eyes) pokes out Person B's eye; then Person B can poke out Person A's eye; who then has the right to do it back to them. And then Person B can poke out someone else's eye cause it was done to him.

It's like a continious cirlce that keeps going on...a lot of times refred to when talking about the death pentally.

You kill a murdered; but then you should die because you took a life as well.

Q: okay okay, just a few hours ago me and my homegirls went to a game and we went for a walk outside but it got too cold so we sat in my homies boyfriends car...well when we were in there it was just me,my 2 homegirls,one of my homies boyfriend,and his friend. so anyways we were playing truth or dare and i picked dare...then all of a sudden i was making out with a guy i hardly knew. he had a girlfriend but i didnt even kno...but kno he was telling my homies he wants to kno me more but im still feel bad for his chick..my questions are.

should i give him a chance?

is it bad that our teeth touched eachother when we kissed?

please answer

NO NO NO NO NO!
do NOT give him a chance.
If he is cheating on his girlfriend there is no saying he wont do the exact same to you.
Boys who are cheaters are always bad news

as for the teeth thing...it's not nesciarrly bad...sometimes it just happens ha

Q: last night i had sex for the forth time and i've been sexually active for the past 3 weeks. (my first time was about three weeks ago) last night when i did have sex it still hurt when he put it in of course not as bad as the 1,2, or 3rd but it still hurt like an elephant goign up my vagina haha but anyway. it still bled too;; i brok my cherry at the age of 5 from jumping on my bed and yeah you get the picture. so it's not that.

is this okay? or should i talk to my mom about it (my moms my best friend i tell her everythign) and maybe see a doctor. but when i went to planned parenthood she said i was heathy and everythign was fine which was last week. so is this hurting and bleeding still normal?

it is normal that it is still hurting...especially if you arent wet enough...

if you are having enough natural lube come out; then you should add in more fore-play to make you wetter (making out and all that)
or get lubricants (they sell it in the same section as condoms in the grocery store)

try that out and see how it works...if it still is hurting a lot and bleeding a lot then I'd say definatly talk to your mom about it

good luck :]

Q: ok im 16/f and my bf 16 we have been going out for almost two years..ok well when he fingers me i cant seem to umm well moan i guess. I know he kinda wants me to and i want to too i just cant like how do i make it more pleasureable to myself? is there anything he can do to make it better? and what can i do to make myslef moan?

thanks

well it might be that he isnt get the citorious which is actually out of the vagina so if he is just 'going in the hole' then it wont feel as good...

this may sound odd (but works...) feel around yourself and find out what feels good to you...where; speed; pressure...and when he is fingering you; show him.

put your hand on his and guide him...
guys have a WAY different body then us...so they dont know...
trust me; once you find the spot you will be moaning and groaning haha

good luck!

Q: so, there is this person, she's actually a teacher at my school. A lot of people think she's a lesbian(she's only 22 also) but me and my friends think that there is something going on between her and another teacher at my school (Man). so i'm wondering, how do you tell if a person is a lesbian? and what are some signs that people are having an affair. it's also a boarding school and they both live there.....
i just want people's opinions, my school is kind of boring and not much happens so, my friends and I are trying to investigate :)
this is why people think she's a lesbian:
she is really athletic, coaches field hocket and softball
dresses ungirly- like button up shirts, sweaters, slacks and jeans- nothing girly
always wears her hair in a ponytail-never down
really competitive and kind of a tough attitude

This is why we think she is having an affair with my science teacher
they sit together a lot, interact a lot
walk places together
his wife is out of town for a month, and we have only noticed them hanging out since she has been gone
people have said they talked about "watching movies" at each others apartments or something like that
once, she was wearing eyeliner and my friend was like "why are you wearing eyeliner?" like teasing her, because she doesn't usually wear makeup, and then my science teacher came in and my friend was like "wear are you going" and he said "nowhere you would want to go" (which seems very suspicious) and then the woman said "we're just going to the gym to play basketball"
They just seem sort of, i dunno, together

anyways i know this is long, but it's kinda funny, and i'm just wonderign what other people would think about this??
hmmmm.....very suspicious

haha there is no way to tell if she is or not...there is one teacher at my school our friends were CONVINCED was then one day her husband came to class and she annonced she was pregnant haha

and they may be having an affiar...who knows.
there's been a rumor at my school since last year this one english teacher and a science teacher are...no one knows for sure...
but everyone talks about it...

as for the other responces; ya i guess it's kinda rude but i dont think it's as big a deal as they're making it

it's not like you are digging through their trash or calling the guys wife...

Q: what will get rid of hickies fast?

okay this will hurt but i find it works the best...

get two spoons; put on in the freezer

while the one is freezing; take the other one and push the like popped out end against the hickey; your thumb in the dip part (where the food goes...) and push hard on it; turn the spoon while pushing
it hurts ALOT but it gets the blood flowing
do that for like 15 minutes;
then get a comb and comb over it for about a minute
wait like two minutes; go get the spoon from the freezer and do what you did with the other one...
then repeat with the comb

let it alone for like an hour and it should be gone or a lot less red/swollen and such...

if it's still there wait a few hours and do it again
you have to give it time to go away and show results of the reddness being gone and such

Q: I have been married for 8 years. My husband and I have grown distant over the past 2 years. I started sleeping with someone which I don't believe in, and still can't believe I did it. I fell in love with this other man and he is the father of my newborn. I still love my husband and do not want to hurt him, but I do not want to hurt the other man either. I believe in God and that he doesn't believe in divorce, and the roots of this are so deep now. I would be happier with the other man, but does that matter at this point?

yes your happiness matters.
if you are happier with that man; then be with him.
Even if you know 100% that the other is the father; you still need to get a paternaty test just to be sure.

because the only way to be 100% sure unless the baby is another race (a.e. you and your husband are white; the baby is african american) then you cannot tell other then not having sex with your husband for a long time; in which case im pretty sure he would know it's not his.

God may not believe in divorce; but he does forgive.

You need to talk to your husband and the other man and find out for sure who's child this is. If you'd be happier with the other man, be with him.

I know this is going to be hard. My mother; sad to say; went through the same thing. She was married to my older sister's father; met my dad; had an affiar that resulted in my big brother. She left her husband; married my dad; and had me. It will be hard but you will get through this.

honesty is the most important thing and you have to find out ( i cannot stress this enough) exactly who's father it is.

Good luck with everything. and if you need ANYTHING feel free to ask back.

Q: so my boyfriend came over yesterday and i was mad at him for something that i really shouldnt have been. i always think hes cheating on me. i get alot of my thoughts through my mom because all my life my mom has accused my dad of cheating when he never does. well when my bf came over i got really pissed off and starting hitting him like smacking,punching,i grabbed his hair and threw him on my bed and continued to hit him. i have NOOOO idea what so ever how this was happening. it was like someone was inside of me controling my arms. well after that happen my bf just held me and i started crying the hardest i have ever cried. i think i have anger problem..ok i KNOW i do. but i dont know how to help it. i was thinking about starting to do yoga or something. my bf thinks i have huge problems and i need to see a therapist not only because i hit him but because im alwaysss thinking hes out sleeping with other people but we havent ever done it! please help me!!!

he's right...you should see a therapist

you might suffer from rage blackouts; or other serious things that have to do with anger fits.

go see a therapist or school consuler and see what they say.

i think Yoga is also an excellent idea...but not JUST yoga :]

hope everything works out!

Q: im pretty sure i have strep throat, but i have to have something else. my like ovaries hurt and under my last rib on my left side. is 102.6 a really bad temp? cuz thats the highest its gotten and i keep going up to 102. oh yeah and i have a headache. i havent ate for 11 and a half hours cuz i threw my food up last time i ate. which by the way i havent thrown up for about 6 years so it makes me think that this is serious. my moms gunna try and get me into the doctor today, and this is only my second day being like this. do you have any idea whats wrong? im also scared because on the news they said 2 younger kids than me died from the flu and the girl only had her flu for 3 days until she died. im 15 by the way.

you need to get to the doctor...

it could be the flu or strep but both can get very serious without medical help

i had the flu last year with a 103.5 fever and i went to the ER (more likely cause my parents are pariniod...) haha but seriously get to a doctor a.s.a.p.

hope you feel better:]

Q: Okay well... my boyfriend and I are both
virgins and not sexually active what so ever.
However, when we lay down on a couch/bed and he wraps his arms around me I get a lot of VD.
Like what the heck ?
Is this normal ? or just weird ?
HELP.

no it's not werid...

it's like this; guys get hard; girls get VD

like when you make out and all that; even with just a touch.

it's so that if/when you do have sex/get fingered whatever it's easier...
it's natural lubracant.

Q: Yeah, lol that was the other name of the game. Could you explain the rules to me? Thank you so much!

haha i could try to explain it; but i think this does it much better lol

cause im used to playing the drinking version (unless that's what your talking about haha)

http://www.pagat.com/climbing/asshole.html

Q: what card games do people usually play and how do you play them?

- go fish, concentration, war everyone knows and i know b.s.

- hmm what is president? there is another name for this game but i will get in trouble if i name it

- anything else

for president; do you mean Asshole?

if so then i can respond back w/ the rules and such...

bio

Hey! I'm Em, my friend Tori got one of these, so i decided to check it out, and got OBBESSED! i am always giving my friends advice, so please, ask away, and i will do my best to help!