Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30948
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want to lose 20 pounds but every time I try I cheat on my diet. This summer I kept cheating and telling myself that Id just start my diet over the next day, but when the next day came I always ruined my diet. People around me are always eating junk and when I see it I have to have it and I over eat. How can I stop craving junk food?
If eat a small portion of something I crave then I will want (link)
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Pook has awfully good advice on the eating end.
Part of the problem in the human psyche is that which we try to suppress (in your case, your need for food) will always express itself in some way, That is why thinking about baseball to try to hold off ejaculation during sex doesn't work. You have to clear your brain totally and relax.
Dieting, though, is a different animal. The best thing you can do is calorie control (as Pook has so well laid out) joined with hardcore exercise. 20 pounds will not take that long to drop (maybe two months with vigorous exercise). Exercise also builds strength and will help stave off things that tend to afflict folks in middle age such as back problems, for example.
The best exercise is swimming because it works every muscle in the body, is low impact and tends to taper the body very nicely. It also burns fat and calories like nobody's business. If you can't join a swim club or otherwise have access to a good sized pool (at least 25 meters), then you can run (thought jogging tends to be hard on the knees and back), walk or lift weights. The last one will result in you putting on a little muscle and muscle is heavier than fat, but it will tone you up, too, and you will NOT get real huge like guys can because you don't have the right amount of testosterone for it.
Also, if you have a toned body, child birth, when you are ready to begin having kids, is easier than it is for someone not in shape.
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I've always been the type to have mostly guy friends. I do extreme things and I don't freak and say "OMG! I soooo just broke a nail!"
When I first meet a guy, they would say that they'd like to date me. Not even a month later, they end up saying that they think of me as a little sister. Honestly, I don't have a problem with that. I like being thought of in a sisterly way but sometimes I start to wonder why guys don't ever want to date me after they get to know me. Could it possibly be because I act too much like a guy when I'm around them because I'm around guys all the time?
When I was growing up I was pretty much a tomboy. and not until I was 12 or so did start acting even the slightest bit girly. I am 18 now and I'm always just seen as one of the guys or like a sister to guys. the only people who are ever interested in dating me turn out to be really bad people and I'm wondering if it's me? I have a good heart and all D: my guy friends say I'm pretty(though I don't take compliments) I play guitar and piano, I am a gamer chick, love movies, very considerate and always trying to make other people smile and laugh. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong that "nice guys" are never interested in me? (link)
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First, if you could age about 30 years overnight you sound like my kind of girl. In fact, you kinda sound like one of my exes. I don't date anyone under 40, though. Maybe they think you look too masculine? Wear skirts that are above the knee and halter tops.
Also, some guys just don't like loud chicks, if that describes you. I personally think it's a total turn on that you play piano and guitar myself. The "I do extreme things" item maybe part of the problem. They may not necessarily be into that.
As for the general "nice guys," they are sometimes pussies and often don't have the self esteem to handle someone like you. They could be afraid of being shown up by you because you know guys have to feel like they're top dog all the time.
Look, you gotta be you and let the chips fall where they may. To try to be something you're not is to punch a first class ticket on the railroad of neuroses. When you get to college, you will be dealing with full grown MEN and not boys. So my advice is for you to remain true to yourself and to not fall in with a bad crowd because you're feeling lonely. Conceding to your emotions will always kill you.
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Would a guy have a girl with kind of bad acne? I have been having acne since elemetary school, and it never goes away. I've tried dermatologist and eveything and the doctors say that the medicine I use gets used to my face and the acne comes back. Sometimes my pimples get really big and I feel like my face is disgusting with scars and zits and then my face clears up and gets worse again. I think I have cystic acne. There are a few guys that have liked me, but I never talked to them because I think they may think my face is disgusting. And there has been guys that have made fun of me and have just been rude to me and call me zit face since elementary, so when a guy tells me he likes me, I just don't believe him. Would a guy date a girl with kind of bad acne? (link)
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You're going to probably grow out of it. So relax, let nature take its course and get on with life.
Let me say this: it's pretty apparent that between outbreaks guys find you to be pretty attractive. There are girls who are never attractive to guys at your school. So you are still doing better than some are.
And really, you have to have the attitude that you're going to do what you want to do in life no matter what. You can't give up this early in the game. Do the best you can, take whatever opportunities seem to be available to you and stop looking down on yourself. If you are honest and moral you're a good person. Get yourself a great college education, go live overseas for a while, and then move on with life. College is a lot better than high school anyway.
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I am a junior in high school. Although everyone says it's time to get serious once one reaches junior year, somehow I don't know how to adjust to it. I can be very lazy and seem to be pretty "chill" about this year. I don't seem to give a crap for the life of me and I just can't get my mind focused and out of the "summer zone", the zone where I just don't care about anything.
I feel so shitty. I feel like already I am going no where in life! At all! I don't know what I want to do after high school, and I just feel so lost. I realize everyone probably feels this way sometime in high school or later in life, or even earlier, but I just feel so...ugh. I don't even think I can afford college.
Not that I am putting excuses on others, but my childhood was very difficult. My father was never there to teach me or tell me about life in high school, and I was never raised to be independent, anyway. Half the time, my mother was going crazy, and she sunk down into a deep depression, as was I when my father abandoned us. Up until freshman year, my life was very dramatic and lonesome. I don't know anything about financial things, or even living on my own for that matter. I feel like a sorry excuse for a teenager and like I will never be able to live on my own and handle myself. I am very forgetful, lazy, and indecisive. I have difficulty paying attention and I try to stay focused and get what I need done, but I don't have much motivation. I'm smart at times and I have so many goals, I also love to write and stuff, but I never figured out what I want to do in life.
I need some guidance. I feel scared to go to my parents about this, and I just can't find anything to ease my worrisome thoughts.
I'm sixteen, and I'm a female.
Thank you. (link)
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First, as far as how you feel about yourself, those are pretty normal teenage insecurities. You're still learning how the world works and the rather slippery foundation your parents have "given" you only makes that uneasiness worse.
I was someone who partied my way through high school. However, I also read a lot on my own, including the daily newspaper, so by the time I hit college I still had a good foundation under me. So your position isn't hopeless. But because you will need to become independent in a fairly quick time frame, you're going to have to make plans, which should include junior college to start. A general education degree that someone suggested earlier is totally useless. You need a hard major such as nursing, engineering, biology or biotech, chemistry or finance because those will lead to jobs that pay really well.
Take the bull by the horns. You'll be okay as long as you have a work ethic.
So what you need to do at this juncture is starting to do a lot of self education because high school really misses a lot of things. Hope fully your school, though, will have a good writing program as mine did because you're going to need that, like an advanced english comp class or something. You will also need a foreign language, too. Learn Chinese.
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I need advice, How do a 13yearold girl get a boy 2 like her with out looking stuped? (link)
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Be nice, approachable, smile a lot and give him lots of complimsnts. The best way, of course, is just to flat out ask him, but barring that, the other ways are your best resort.
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can giving bj's make you more prone to getting strep throat? (link)
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That would be no. You can get many different STD's from it, though, including gonorrhea of the esophagus. Mind you, the mouth is a pretty hostile environment for STD's, but it does happen, including AIDS infections.
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Have recently been dumped by my 50 year old girl friend and she will not tell me the truth why. Naturally I am devastated.
She had accepted my ring, money to save her home etc etc. We never ever met but I was completely honest as she was ? And had been for over 8 months. She still writes, says she wants and needs me in her life but it is very difficult. She is married but very unhappy. I am deeply in love with her and was prepared to buy us outright a home put it in her name and care for her all my life. I am 8 years older than her, retired and well off never having to worry over money. Have I over dine it? Sent too much Money $ 25000 or what. She was my last chance of true happiness. Please no talk of loads more out there. It took me 25 years to find her. (link)
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Dude, you got worked. The girl, if it really was a female you were talking to, was a straight up hustler. This is actually a somewhat common scam. Sorry to break it to you.
Good luck in your search for companionship.
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Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 yrs we've been through a lot including dealing with Erctile Dsynfunction for him at 21 years old. He was addicted to porn and at first it wasnt a problem but he got ED and it became a problem he seeked a urulogist and they said nothing was wrong with him physically that we should probably seek help for porn addiction. I installed a filter in his computer and since then everything was fine sure. I became jealous and paranoid after that about what turned him on. Anyway yesterday we had sex and after sex he usually can't get hard he calms down. We started watching a little kids cartoon The Avatar google it if you dont know and there was a part where the little girl about 12 years old i'd say was drowing in quick sand screaming for help and she was screaming for help i saw my getting a smirk and then i was like whats wrong with you and he was like what nothing? and i was like let me see "down there" and he was hard not fully but almost and i was just disgusted it was a little girl fully clothed from head to toe. I was so digusted i just came home and he said he was turned on. and thats all he would tell me.I just find this so sickening i mean i wouldve understood if she had big breasts and she was older. I don't know what to do i find this sickening that i cant even trust him to look at cartoons?! Is this normal? I just honestly don't wanna go back with him after this i find it sickening. I know he used to watch cartoon porn and thats totally normal because the girls have huge breasts and they are doing sexual acts but this was nothing sexual. What do you guys think? (link)
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That is majorly screwed up. He needs a therapist. I just hope he doesn't have any kiddie porn on his computer then he could be in a world of hurt legally.
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19/f
I am so confused on what to think or what to do. I recently got out of a 13 month relationship. Him and I have had a lot of fights in the past and this time it was bad. he broke up with me, then regretted it and wanted to take me back, but i said no because i was just fed up with all of the drama and fights. Then a few weeks later I meet this other guy named Kent. well kent and I had a great time together. we both go to the same college so we usually just hung out in each other dorms and watched movies. Then we started liking each other more than friends and decided to have a thing. we wanted to make it official but i didn't want people to think i was moving on so fast or i was just using him as a rebound (which is not true at all). so we kept it a thing for about a week and everything was going great. until he started having doubts and now he's telling me he wants to just stay friends for a while. when I asked him why, this is what he said- I have a lot of issues going on right now (depression, his friend died 2 years ago, and some other stuff he hasn't told me) and I really dont want you to see my bad side. I need to get things straight with myself first and clear my issues before we start anything because I dont want you to see my bad side. And we had a huge talk about this and I told him that all relationships have to deal with bad sides. you can't prevent that. and no matter what I say to him right now, he won't listen to me. I told him I will always be there for him. For some reason he has this idea that when I find out his issues that I will hate him.. I told him thats not true because I dont hate people, especially people like him. He's just stuck with this idea that he's not good for me and that i'll eventually hate him and leave him..
I'm just so confused on what to do.. I really really really like him.. but I dont understand why he's pushing me away and telling me that i'm going to hate him and he has issues. What should I do? I've tried talking to him multiple times but he just tells me he has to go and doesn't want to talk about it and needs space. So i've tried giving him space but i'm going crazy. What is your advice on this? (link)
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Wow, that has to be a huge disappointment. You kinda had the rug pulled out from under you. You also feel shutout of his life because he won't tell you his problem. Guys, though, are raised to kinda just bull through things without complaining. Also, men tend to be dominance oriented and thus hate showing weakness or vulnerability.
I had one phase of my life where I was, at the same time, having a bad time at work, with my girlfriend as well as my family and I had just started back to college and was feeling kinda overwhelmed. So I decided to jettison my girlfriend, which turned out to be an ace move and soon after I changed jobs, which ultimately proved to be an excellent move. The family issue eventually worked itself out.
So maybe he feels that by starting a relationship he was biting off just a little more than he could chew at the moment even though he does want you.
The taking two years to deal with the death of a friend is kinda weird to me. I have to wonder if maybe he's bi and the "friend" is a former gay lover? I don't know, obviously. All I can do is guess from what you wrote.
Any signs of OCD issues or anything like that?
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how long does a hickey last
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Usually about three days.
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Is anyone on here in a LDR? I'm with this guy that I really like but I'm going across the country for college and just wanted other peoples opinions on it. (link)
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LDR's are tough. People tend to like their love interest close for obvious reasons. What usually happens is that the lonely heart grows horny and the LDR goes poof.
The thing is that you guys are too young for a long term relationship anyway since you are in the exploratory portion of your lives. Your opinions, including what men you like, are going to change a lot over the next 6-7 years. You need to date around and only after you do that then you'll have an exact fix on what you will want when you are ready to settle down. So a clean break at this point would be a really good idea.
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Hey im a 20 year old female. I've noticed lately that my lower back has been hurting and just been uncomfortable lately. Mainly the right side more than the left. I haven't done anything unusual or out of the ordinary. My job requires me to be on my feet all the time but doesnt require any lifting. Just wondering if anybody has any idea whats going on or if this has happened to you. Thanks for your advice i do rate. (link)
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There could be some fatigue there. Maybe the way your heels make you stand hurts your back? I don't know. Try flats for the next few days and see if that helps. Either that or you tweeked it while sleeping.
Anyway, if it doesn't clear up in a few days, see a neurologist. I've tweaked my hip flexor while sleeping. Some times weird stuff like that happens.
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Hey everyone(: 14/female so anyway I have a boyfriend who i love very much!(: and I tex him every other day just so i can space things out so i can have something to talk about. Now tho when we text a lot of it is just yas and yupps and hehes and thats all, I dont really know what to talk about anymore, So I need some ideas on what to talk about! and also he is always calling me sexy and beautiful stuff like that but I dont know what to call him haha! sometimes ill put baby or babe then before i send the message I erase it because i feel like what if he thinks im stupid i dont know why but, ya so if you have any ideas on what to talk about then i would love that, and good names too! -Thanks(: (link)
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First, you're 14. You don't have a lot of life experience or knowledge yet, so of course you don't have much to talk about.
My advice? Relax and just enjoy each other's company. You also don't have to text him and he doesn't you. You being with him is enough.
Here's something they won't teach you in school, too: men aren't verbal. We get socially rewarded doing stuff, especially if aggression is involved, not constantly yapping like girls do. So if he doesn't say much it isn't because he isn't interested in you. It's because he has been raised to be strong and uncomplaining. Let his actions speak and don't expect a guy to be your personal entertainer.
Also, keep things simple. Don't overthink things.
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My prom is very early this year and I;m already thinking about it! I wanted some ideas now so I can get it ready an plan ahead! Yes I have to ask him because he doesn't go to my school. Suggestions and ideas would be great! Thanks in advance! (link)
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"Hi (fill in his name here). You want to go to prom?"
Prom is such a bullshit racket. Spend that money instead on a getaway at a nice hotel somewhere.
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What do you think is the key to a successful marriage? Or what exactly are you looking for in the m an that you marry?
As for me I think that I found the type of man that I want to marry. We're both fairly young though, I still have yet to start college but I'm a bit behind (I'll be 21 in less than six months, so I'm a bit behind). My boyfriend just turned 22 in July, and has two years of college left to complete.
I say that he's perfect for me, because I think that in a man success is so sexy. He's the first one in his family to ever obtain a college degree, he got his associates in June 2011. To me that shows success because in a family where not everyone graduated college, it can be fairly difficult to actually get your degree of any sort. I have full confidence in him that in June of 2013, he will have his bachelors degree and be almost ready to obtain a good future for himself.
The point of success where the two of you are currently at should also be a strong consideration. If you barely have enough money to support yourself, the two of you are going to struggle financially which will lead to many fights. I've seen this plenty of times, especially exposed to parents who have been unhappily married for over half of their marriage.
The level of support that he gives you should be a consideration as well. My boyfriend is extremely supportive of me, and his opinion on things is very important to me, the only other opinion that I value more than his is my own.
Trust and communication, the two of you have to be able to trust each other and communicate very well together. Without trust and communication a marriage can be very miserable, I've seen this before. You have to bring up the little things that upset you about him, or else they're going to build into even bigger things. I trust my boyfriend very well, and we've communicated well with each other enough for him to be my longest relationship which will be six months on the 18th.
So I think in order for a marriage to work out the two of you have to be successful, be able to work out your problems, be able to trust each other very well, and support each other when the two of you need it.
As far as personal traits that I think need to be happy in a marriage one day is to be with someone whose caring, loving, takes good care of me, is good in bed.
I've never been married, so I don't know if I'm inaccurate as to what makes a marriage work or not. If you are upset or offended by something that I said, I apologize. (link)
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The best marriage is no marriage. Seriously, why bring the state into bed with you? And then you can only exit the relationship through a court room after hiring lawyers who will cost you thousands, maybe tends of thousands? Stop the craziness! Let's stop the Matrimony-Legal Industrial Complex now!
Okay, more seriously, I was in a three year relationship and it looked like we were headed for marriage (it would only have been for immigration reasons so I could live in her country) but then an issue came up that we couldn't resolve and so I ended it. Thinking marriage after just six months is way premature, especially at your ages. Your brains won't stop developing until age 25, so your sensibilities are still evolving. Wait a few years.
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I will be turning 21 in less than 6 months, which to some may seem a little bit far away, because I still have most of autumn and winter left before my birthday in early spring. As my main birthday present my mom, sister and grandmother are going to be taking me to Atlantic City. My family has this thing where they want to share my most important milestones with me, I guess, like most families. While we we are at Atlantic City my boyfriend, my sister and I are going to be going out drinking, I think that it's a really good idea that I have my boyfriend with me because if either of his girls get drunk I know that he will look for us (he's a big guy, he's really strong – a former high school football player, who still works out quite a bit).
My biggest concern about drinking is the fact that I have never been drunk. I don't know what my limit is, which is bad because if I decide to be stubborn and I probably will be if my sister or my boyfriend, tell me, “I think that's enough.” Even though I am quite proud of that fact, I feel like nowadays too many people get drunk under the age of 21... it's probably always been that way. My sister who is 26 (will only have a month and a few weeks left herself, before she turns 27 on that occasion) and my boyfriend whose 22 (will only have a few months left to go on that occasion before he turns 23) have both drank before they were 21.
I have too, but it was under family supervision and they never let me to drink enough to know what it was like to be drunk... which is a good thing.
I'm just concerned about actually reaching the point to meet the difference between drunk and tipsy. I don't even know if I should be tipsy, because my mother and grandmother are very old-fashioned and tend to be prudes on certain things such as women getting drunk (even though my mom has admitted to us that she's been, my grandmother has never been). The main problem is that I have some drunks in my family, and we also have alcoholism in the family.
My paternal grandmother was a functional alcoholic, I don't want to end up like that when I turn 21 I still think that I have my whole life to live for, and I don't want to upset those who care about me. My maternal grandfather's father was an alcoholic who used to drink the money away and his wife (my maternal grandfather's mother).
How do I know when I'm reaching the point of having one too many? I really don't want to end up blacking out... which as you can tell would be very dangerous in my case. I actually do want to be able to drink socially. I do believe that my sister and my boyfriend would try to get me to stop drinking if they saw signs that I was about to black out.
I know that your BAC (blood alcohol content) depends on different factors such as your body weight, time between drinks, if you ate, etc. I'm 131 pounds and around 5'4", so I'm fairly skinny.
Thanks! (link)
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What was funny about the time I turned 21 was that I had already quit drinking by that time after partying my ass off in high school. My brother, though, is an alcoholic and I can't recall another one in my entire extended family, at least that was related by blood.
Anyway, just because you turn 21 doesn't mean you should get toilet hugging drunk. Celebrate it with a nice dinner and a few glasses of wine, not a blackout.
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17/f
Hi, so I'm a very active person, participating in yearly sports including cross country, triathlon, mountain biking, and the every so often hike or some other type of physical activity on my own. Last summer, my ex/bestfriend attempted suicide and I got depressed. As a result, I got a little out of shape.
I'm trying to work back up to my initial level of fitness. So far, my stamina seems to be setting back in; however, I cannot help but be a tad bit irked by my body's inability to reflect my fitness level.
I work hard daily, and yet I've not been able to see any chance in physical appearance. I'm still somewhat thick looking, and those extra few pounds don't seem to be falling off how I had hoped.
Is there anything that could be contributing to this lack of physical fitness being reflected in my physical appearance?
Also, something I'd like to add that may be a contributing factor; my daily regiment of food and nutrition intake is somewhat sporadic. I have severe GERD, and it causes me to not be able to eat as much as I should be. I try to get around 1000-1200 a day, but it's often times a struggle.
Thanks for any advice given.
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1000-1200 calories a day with a fitness regime? Your body is probably in famine mode. Having a medical problem that limits your intake sucks. The only thing I can suggest is to work on swimming as much as you can given how it works all your muscles.
The other thing is that you're also dealing with genetics. Look at your mom. Is she thickly built? Some of it could just be out of your hands. If your aerobic shape is good then don't worry about it. Just workout according to what your body can truly handle for the calorie load you're giving it and don't overdo it.
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I'm not in high-school anymore but when I'm in school I don't have a lot of friends. I dress nice and I'm bubbly and easy to get along with I'm strongwilled and don't let people walk all over me but people (mainly girls) make fun of me. From what I know I don't act weird and I like a lot of stuff that other ppl like too but if I try to make friends with the 'preppier' people I feel like they look at me like a freak. My friends and other ppl tell me I'm pretty so I don't think I'm repulsive I do my best to be nice and be myself but it's a constant battle. I do have an anxiety and panic attack disorder but I don't make that obvious. I get really scared to be at school because I'm afraid people are making fun of me. I'm going to college in the spring and though people say it's different I'm still worried. Do I have bad social skills? What's wrong with me? I love making friends of all kinds but it's hard for me what can I do? (link)
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"Preppy" is just a synonym for "douchebag." Believe me, you aren't missing out on anything.
Look, the only thing you can be is yourself. If someone wants to come along for the ride fine, but if they don't, that's fine, too. And like the fact that you aren't one of the herd. Work on what you want to be, not what someone else wants you to be.
College is A LOT different from high school. You will definitely do better there as long as you are friendly to people around you. You will definitely find a more mature class of guy, too, as long as you stay away from the frat boys and the jocks.
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I've known this guy named Kyle (age 17) for almost three years, and I've liked him for two. He seems like the sweetest guy in the world. He flirts with me, just the other day we were standing in the school parking lot dancing to my radio, and when we text we play silly games, like texting haha, hehe, and Lol repeatedly, and we tease each other, and he says he loves me all the time... but everytime I go on facebook, I see him seeming to flirt with two other girls, one of them being my best friend. He swears he doesn't like them, but he does like someone, and I told him I liked him and all he did was grab me and hug me... My best friend swears he likes me, but I think he might just be a total flirt... I also asked him to the homecoming dance, and he said maybe... a week ago, but still no definite answer, should I give up? or is he just too shy to say he likes me? (link)
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You're sure he's not covering for being gay? Who in God's name dances in the school parking lot? Then you basically throw yourself at him and he doesn't jump on it? Sorry, but that would pin anybody's gaydar.
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This year, I'm a freshman in hs and I decided last minute to do band. Because this year, we are eligible to make state, there is alot riding on us, especially the freshman. This one senior (who also plays the clarinet) skipped August camp and started coming when school started. At first, he didn't really care until he got a primary spot. After that, he started acting like our section leader (the reason why he isn't is a long story). For our contest yesterday, we didn't have a very strong preliminary performance and nobody seemed to be too upset except for him. On the way home, I sat next to him and we talked about band and I learned alot of secrets about band. He said many inspiring things even stuff that the leadership team at our school never talked about. I really look up to him, and I know he really cares about the band. After getting to know the good side of him, I realized that I like him. I don't know what to do. (link)
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You're sure he's not gay?
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