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Long distance relationship
Is anyone on here in a LDR? I'm with this guy that I really like but I'm going across the country for college and just wanted other peoples opinions on it.
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I am in a semi-long distance relationship with a great guy who lives a state away from me. I'm starting a new job next week, and I can definitely see it working out. We've been together for six months and he's the most caring of all of my boyfriends.
However he is not all the way across the country, it's not as expensive to see him and it's relatively easy. With him being across the country, the only way that I can think that you're going to get to see him is if you fly there. Have you looked at air rates, are they affordable?
Do you plan to work when you're in college? If so, are these air rates something that you can afford on the typical salary that you're going to make? Chances are at a part time job you are not going to make enough money to make it affordable for you to fly across the country.
Also when you enter college you are going to meet several new people, and with him being so far away you're going to drift apart. When I was a senior in high school, about two years ago, I actually overheard a teacher talk to these girls about her husband who she met in college, when she was dating another guy who was long distance. She said that long distance can work if you really want it to.
Do you really want this to work? Because you're going to have to take a few factors into consideration, such as the opportunities that you could have to date other guys in college who would be closer to you and you could have more of a relationship with, whether your relationship is strong enough to last and if it would be actually be affordable for you to see him.
I wish you good luck with whatever you decide to do :).
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My last relationship was 3 hours away.
In all honesty, Don't get yourself into something you can't make time for. Long distant relationships are hard as hell to maintain and very costly.
A few things I've learned from my past:
Be willing to travel, My ex lived in the city and sometimes the traveling was exhausting. The longer you have to travel the more exhausting it gets.
You need to know that you will have to try 5x harder than someone who isn't in a long distant relationship. Trust is a huge factor, Will you be able to trust him knowing that you are in another state? .....
There is good, There is bad in LDR. Would you be able to handle the distant and trust that your relationship will be stable when you two are apart?
This guy being across the country does not sound like someone who is going to work out. You are young, You shouldn't hold yourself back for one person that is just not available. Sometimes you can like someone but in the end you really should do what is best for you. Do you want a fantasy or a relationship? Lets be realistic... When you go to college you aren't really going to have the time for someone who is miles away. The stress of traveling and making time is only going to put more baggage on top of the stress you will already have from being in College.
Really what it all comes down too is long distant relationships are a pain in the ass. "My personal opinion" You can't just spend time with the person whenever you wish. I also find long distant relationships to be no different then internet dating. It's nothing but a fantasy and technically isn't real. The guy is across the country, Do you really want to put yourself on hold? I found myself a lot happier with someone I can see frequently and spend time with rather than someone who lives 3 hours away from me.
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I've been in a couple of LDRs and they can have good times and the bad. Just stay in contact. Try calling them on the phone everyday or contact them by using the social networks (twitter, facebook, etc). Staying in contact is the main thing and its mainly about the communication in the relationship.
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LDR's are tough. People tend to like their love interest close for obvious reasons. What usually happens is that the lonely heart grows horny and the LDR goes poof.
The thing is that you guys are too young for a long term relationship anyway since you are in the exploratory portion of your lives. Your opinions, including what men you like, are going to change a lot over the next 6-7 years. You need to date around and only after you do that then you'll have an exact fix on what you will want when you are ready to settle down. So a clean break at this point would be a really good idea.
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