Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

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Q: I have pain in the right side of my throat and I feel a small ball were the pain is at. When i drink, eat, or even swallow the pain increases.

It sounds like your tonsils. Because you are feeling a ball. Have some one take a flash light and shine it into the back of your throat are one of your tonsils really big? Also you should still see a doctor if it isnt swallowen. it could be strep, mono, or just a sore throat. most which need to be treated with anti biotics.

Q: my son is 15 years old and he behaves really bad.i know that he is using marijuana and he goes to party and come home really drunk if i start to argue with him he would screem at me and get really agresive with me .i had to call the police twice because he wold come home late every weekend.what can i do can.

Honestly talk with a truent officer. I was like that when I was 16 and I had a child. I didnt grow up right away and regret that very much. i didnt neglet my child by any means i just liked with being with friends a couple times a week. my parents finally got on me and took me to a truent officer and the juivinille facility and i didnt have a choice he scared me to death he told me id lose my son id be put under arrest and everything else. take your son to get scared. maybe therepy? it good be just something bothering him and some family therepy may help

Q: say a family member of mine is in the hospital. and i had to miss a few days of work to be with her. could my employers call to see if she was a patient?

A friend of the family wasnt answering her phone and it had been two days. Her husbands phone was shut off and she wasnt in the greatest of health. I called the hospital asking if my grandmother had been admitted to the hospital and they told me and transfered me to her room. your boss may ask you to verify this info your self. a medical note etc.

Q: Ok I need help asap, we have to go to court because of truancy. I am cyber schooled because I was sexually abused, and I cant go back to normal school because he is still there, but I forgot to log my hours a few times and we hagve to go to court, and the judge will decide the penalty. I did work on all but 2 of these days. On those days I took tests and caught up on book work. IM a straight a student and want to go to harvard. This would look bad on my resume. PLease help, I will rate all answers. Thanls

you just talk to the judge while you are their. dont lie to him or else you will be bad off. i had to go to court for curfew and he let me go with just paying court cost. does it now show what days you took these tests on? it should show on your computer. Bring him a report card and explain you want to go to harved tell him you are a hard worker you just forgot to log your hours.

Q: hey, I'm looking for a job or even a volunteering job. I'm in love with animals so anything with animals would be really cool. I always get on Google and type in " animal volunteering jobs for 14 year olds" but usually all i get is "volunteer at your local animal shelter!" But I'm to shy to just ask straight up...and I'm looking for something with a little more work than just handing the real important people tools or just getting them something. Any body got any thing for me?

Baby Sitting, Animal Clinic, Hospital, etc.You can volunteer just about any where. You may need a parents consent. If you are shy you are going to have a problem getting any sort of job. You just have to get over your fear and just ask if you can voulunteer.

Q: I have already put a tampon in for my first time. But when I took it out, it hurt really bad. I'm scared to put one in again because I don't want it to hurt. I have to wear tampons because I dance. I'm scared. Help?

You can place your leg on top of the toliet or bath top or what ever squat down a little to pull it out.

Q: My boyfriend and I were supposed to hang out tonight, but he decided to go out with his friends instead. This is not the first time that hes decided his friends are more important than I am, nor will it be the last.

I called him after he told me we wouldn't be hanging out, and told him that I felt like i wasn't as important as his friends. He proceeded to tell me that he didn't want to deal with it right now and that he would talk to me later and hung up.

What did i do wrong?? There have been times where hes told me hes coming to pick me up and then decided he was to tired and i've walked the hour home from work at midnight. I just am so upset right now i feel like i put all the effort in the relationship and as soon as i get my hopes up about something, he changes plans and i'm just not in the picture anymore.

I'm afraid to approach him because i don't want him to blow up and just call our relationship off. But i'm afraid to leave it alone because i know its bad for me to be stewing about it and not letting it out.

What should i do?

Im 20 hes 28. We've been together for a year and a half.

I dont think your boyfriend is wanting to be in a comited relationship. It sounds like you are better off single. let him know you arent afrid to be alone that you dont need him and if he really loves you he will try his hardest to get back with you.

Okay so lets answer it the way you want to hear it.. He will change give him time to relize how much he cares about you. Hello you have been with him going on 2 years thats dumb he is immature and isnt going to grow up. You need to learn what a relationship is about I have seperated from my husband to give him time to think about what is more important his family or screwing around. he choose his family. You are scared that he wont choose you.

Q: So my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 3 years and we go to the same college. We were thinking about livin together in a townhouse this semester (we are sophomores) but it didn't work out. Do you think it is too young to live with a significant other in college, like maybe next year in an apartment off campus?

It all depends on your relationship. If you fight a lot it is probably not a good idea. Living together even if you not married feels like marriage. You really no each other when you live together. Its a big step in a relationship you both have to decide if you two are ready.

Q: my ex had full custody of my 6 year old daughter,i heard stories of abuse and neglect so i called the 800 # for abuse and neglect the local cps went out said ;there were no findings' that was 2009,september 2010 they went out again because of new allegations,this time it was founded,my daughter was removed because mother and stepfather were abusing drugs neglecting my daughter,and the mother was abusing her mentally as well,this was all admitted in court by the mother,instead of me getting my child she was placed with step fathers family non blood,the mother told cps i wasnt in my childs life etc,i am applying for custody in 2 weeks,now she and stepfather get 'supervised visits' and the supervisors are the step fathers family,my daughters demeanor has changed drastically ,she rushes me off the phone non loving afraid of me so i called cps and told them mental abuse is still going on,they brush off everything i say,the law guardian has no clue about the case or my daughter,how can i get someone to advocate for my daughter?the county was told to have my daughter go to therapy i as the father set up the appointment,cps is being very relaxed but i fear now for my 6 year olds mental well being,no one is taking my claims serious no one is listening to me,and the biggest part is the mother over a 3 year period of time told my daughter that the new husband is 'daddy' i just need help to protect my daughter,when we go to court no one is prepared,or clueless,the child was removed from dutchess county n.y.,and placed in westchester county n.y.,so cps passed it along to westchester county as a 'courtesty' westchester just goes twice a month to make sure the child is ok phyisically'what rights as a father do i have? what petitions can i file in court?and since the child was removed they said it is called article 10 custody of ******,who has custody county or article 10 people?i just need help and need to get more stricter supervised visits and i need phone calls to be monitored,but am unsure on how to do so,case is in dutchess county n.y.and my daughters mom is telling cps worker that she does not want me in my daughters life and does not want me around her,so what makes a person believe that she the mother isnt feeding her head with more stuff.parental alienation is key it has and is happening,there has to be an intervention,thank u for any help/advice

Hun it is going to take time and a lot of work. Continue calling the police station talk to the chief explain the situation tell him you are worried about your daughter. You need to talk to a theripist. okay do you have any rights to your daughter at all?? if not you will have to get person but a child psychologist will help prove the abuse. Where you in your daugters life at all? int he begning? the Police are looking at that so if you call them telling them about abuse and you hadnt been in your daughters life they arent going to believe you continuing harrassing them. You have to prove good solid prove that she is an unfit mother to get full custdy of your daughter document everything. but itll take time

Q: Okay so i called my friend to see if she was home and her mom picked up, she said her daughter [ my friend ] wasn't home yet she said her daughter would come home any time soon. And she asked me if i wanted to come over and wait. so i came over and my friends mom started talking to me and asked me if i snuck to my friends house 2 weeks ago at mid nite, i did acctually but i didnt awnser my friends mom. She told me she heard alot of moaning, but the truth is we were listening to the sounds of people doing it as a joke Lol :p so her mom got a little closer to me PS: her mom is 28. and is very pretty (:
so she comes on top of me and starts making out with me and then takes me up stairs to her bed room.
she tells me my daughter is away at her dad's house she wont be back for another 4 weeks ;)
and she stripped me down and started fucking me; i liked it .... then after that she always invited me over till her daughter came back home then.. i didnt wanna do this! but idk its tempting and it made me really horny... help am i a lez!?!? i dont wantt to be i mean i

I know you may not want to but you need to tell someone. That is illegal on so many levels. You may have liked it much you are a minor.

Q: My mom never wants to spend time with me. I asked her if we could go to the mall to buy me a better bra today, and she invited my 11 year old sister. I realized we've never gone to the mall, just the two of us. I'm going through a tough time ( puberty) and I can't talk to her about it. What should I do?

Just talk to your mother about it and let her know how you feel. Ask her if you can spend one on one time with her. Parents try their best to make their kids happy but we cant guess everything so let us no sometimes to help you.

Q: I need help...I guess i feel like i have just been really down latley. I honestly like say i hate the world way to much and i don't feel lik ei do but then again i do. I can't explain. Anyways lately i just have not been happy and stuff. I had a thing with this guy for about 3 months and i guess we kinda ended because we stopped tallking and i think we accually liked eachother and stuff but I was really lame and never hung out with him because I was very i guess just i dont know i never wanted to hang out with anyone and stuff and I don't even know. Ok so well now he has a thing with this other girl and i hear no one really like her nbd. aha ok so anyways latley i've been trying to like put cute outfits and stuff together not only to make my self feel better i guess you could say but to like attract the guy and well i think it's worked but u dont think the outfits are the only reason. I don't know at school i always see him looking at me still and today he just stared at me and stuff and i have been hving dreams about him and i just feel lonely. I know it's totally my fault I never hung out with him and i wish i could do everything over :( i also go to thereapy just to feel better and it's been working i feel somewhat happier but i guess I just want to know what to do to feel happier and what do you think about the guy cuz i really miss him and my friend is always saying you should talk to him becuase there was really no claification that you guys like ended your thing :(( hellp!

okay tell him how you feel it builds your confidence and helps your relationship with this boy. Tell him you are sorry for not spending so much time with him that you were shy or what not. The worst you could get is rejection and trust me hunny there are plenty of boys out there if it comes to that.

Q: Last year arround this time I started cutting myself. I thought it was because I had problems in my life but then I realized I have a pretty good life. But then I had to transfer schools because mine closed and I feel really depressed here but I don't want to leave my friends. So now I'm back to cutting myself and only a couple of my friends know and they want me to stop but I feel like I can't. Now one of them wants to tell an adult about this but I'm afraid to. I don't know what to do but I really do want to stop I just feel I don't have the strength to. What should I do?

Tell an adult and speak with a counsler someone who you don't know who can help you talk out what is worrying you. I find giving advice is better when someone can relate to someone. I had a friend we were in 8th grade. We had several classes together. She cut her self alot. She hated her life, a little over weight wanted a boyfriend . She wasnt shy but she was inscure with herself. It took awhile every day of talking spending time together before I finally convinced her to seek some help. She didnt know where to turn to. So we talked some more and I sujested her mother. and surely she went to her mom and told her how she was feeling and showed her , her arms her mom couldnt tell me thank you enough everytime i seen her she was thanking me that i showed her daughter that someone does care about her and wants to help her. Cutting yourself can turn to permant damage and no one deserves to feel depressed ive been there. I have cut myself a couple times ive sat on a shower floor and just screamed and cried ive been there and its tough but there is always someone there to help. You just have to find that person. good luck.

Q: So yeah the title says it all I foun blood almost a full week ago, there's no way I could be pregnant, and now I'm kinda freaking out!!!

You can see spotting in between periods. Have way till your period. I am not sure how old are you. Is this your first period? you could have cramping and a headache. if this is your first period (pamprin and midol work wonders for cramping)You could be getting ready to start your period for the first time but it could also take several weeks your body is preparing its self.

Q: Mid teens female here, about to leave home for a small farm town.

I don't mean to sound so narrow-minded with the subject, but it's the shortest way to put it.

Anyway, I was wondering... It seems to me like country people and city people alike are fairly open about sexuality these days, but it seems like, note I'm saying SEEMS, not is, maybe I'm crazy.... Well it just seems like your average country girl, though she may stay pure till marriage, isn't too afraid of discussions pertaining to sex and the like, isn't afraid to show a bit of skin. Is this stereotype true, and if I move to a small town boys will be put off by me and my shyness about those things? Or, like most everything, does just depend on the person and I'm worried over nothing?

You are worried about nothing. You just have to hang out with a group that you like to be around. If you choose to be pure until marriage you will find friends you accept you. They may pick on you in a friendly matter but youll be fine. I moved from a large city to a small town. I think everyone seems nicer in a small town.

Q: Long story short i got pregnant and im not sure when, My last period was Dec 16-20th.. I had sex December 25th with someone three times that night, And then someone different Jan 1st just once. When would you say i got pregnant im so confused and i need to figure out who is the father of my child, please dont judge im not the only person this happens too and im stressed as it is so please.

Stay calm. I am sure you are young and it doesnt make you a bad person by not being sure on who the father could be. There is no reason to stress your self. Ill tell you a true story. I was 14 years old (almost 15) when I got pregnant with my first and I semi knew who the father was but there was a chance it could of been someone else. The guy that (semi) stuck around to responsibility for that child when my son was 2 I finally had a DNA test to get child support for my son. I was so scared that he wasnt the father but it turned out he was. You have nothing to worry about after your child is born in the hospital you can request for a dna test with both men or at least one of them. just remember you are having a tough time right now and you need to worry about that baby and taking care of your self worry about that later.

Q: so i gained 10 pounds this winter -_- and i want to get rid of it asap. I'm 5'4" and 150 my goal is to get down to 120-130. I was thinking if I ran a mile everyday mon-fri and only ate fruits and veggies if it would be good. let me know thanks!

it is a good plan BUT you need carbs to you dont have to have very many a little protien and carbs wont hurt you. like a roast with veggies you can eat food just watch your portion size. stay away from sugary food and drinks watch how much you eat and exercise and youll do great if you stick to it!

Q: There is a guy in my homeroom and I think he likes me but I'm not sure. Stuff he does: stares at me, always ask me if I want to hear one of his jokes, he wants me to touch him ( his head), and he is always trying to get close to me! I don't know what this means but I do have a crush on him.

It sounds like he has a crush on you to. You should talk to him about it and if your shy write him a note about it.

Q: I have this very young teacher and lately He keeps on winking and smiling at me, or just hugs me randomly when there is no one around.he also keeps on talking to me even whenever other students are around and he kind of ignores the others
im getting afraid of him and my friends start laughing whenever he does something.
does this mean he likes me and he is into me?
how can i find out? and how can i tell him to stop?
i still go to school btw.

You need to contact upper authorties if he is making you feel this way than that is wrong in general and talking to your principal IMMEDIATLY. It is very important you do this because I or anyone else here doesnt want something to happen between you and he.

Q: So, here's an odd one. I'm currently engaged to a fantastic woman. She's everything that I've always wanted, and we're madly in love. We dated for a long time several years ago, and then broke up. Now, 2 years later, we've gotten back together. Here's the problem:

We're fairly adventurous people sexually. We've had a sort of threesome (oral on me only), and we've always talked about doing more than that. Then, just after we broke up the first time, I had a threesome (MFM) with a couple of friends. Now, when we got back together, I was shocked to learn that she'd had a threesome (MFF) with the same girl! And our old flatmate. Should be cool, right? I've done it, she's done it, we've done it... Not exactly.

The problem is that she still lives with this girl and they're the best of friends. And she's still friends with this guy. And the girl is dating another one of my girlfriend's exes! I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but feel uncomfortable around... well... everyone! It's gotten so bad that I don't even want to go over to her house. And to top it all off, we're expats, so our social circle is relatively small.

So, the question is - how do you come to terms with your girlfriend's sexual past when it's right in front of your face? How can I lie in her bed at night and listen to her ex-girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend having sex? It just seems like too much to bear sometimes.

Should I be comfortable with this? Am I just weak? What can I do to get over this and be cool with everyone?

If you are in love with this girl as much as you are should it bother you. No. If you hear them having sex make yours louder. She is with you now. She isnt with them, him or who ever. I would be satified with that. It would take me awhile to get used to it but i believe it is possible.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.